The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

@2023forme that's a great song. I've just had a listen and followed your words. Very uplifting. (took a while to work out removing explicit filter from Alexa!)
I've been a wanker for more years than I'd care to remember. I've definitely cut down the past few years, though i still have the demon in me. I'm still liable to binge then the worst version of me returns.
I've now decided I need to stop. I'm at day 60 and can only hope and pray I can keep it going.
For me it's small targets and short term goals. All the while, surrounding myself with as much good advice and positivity as I can.
My heartfelt best wishes to everyone who reads or posts on this thread.

I joined this thread under a different name, fully expecting to join you all but currently I don’t have the guts to do it.

I believe I’m menopausal and have a 16 year old DS, what a winning combination!!

I gave up smoking over 12 years ago, I need to do this! I have to!

This should be FAR easier than giving up smoking!? Help!

Hi @BrightPurple - I think it’s much harder than giving up smoking, because alcohol has such a complex effect on the brain, and it’s so accepted in society.

What worked for you when you gave up smoking?

Why don’t you think you have the guts to do it? I was a right mess, and took a few false starts, before it clicked for me.

Evening ladies!
I am wrapping up a shit and incredibly stressful day at work.
I don’t actually want a drink but am aware that I usually would sink a bottle of wine by 9pm after a day like this.
I won’t, but am caught out thinking ‘what do sober people do’???
I’ve had 2 cups of tea, some biscuits.
Don’t want to go for a run, I’m just a bit lost???

Hi, 👋
I'd like to join as my other sober threads dried up lol (I've NC since then)
I had 47 days and then I messed it up tonight, deliberate self sabotage. I'm not going to reset my counter but I am determined not to slip again. Not rtft but I'll catch up

Well I made it through Friday, and avoided all temptations. We're thinking about going to the pub today, but I will drive, and we'll be going in the afternoon, and heading home before people start drinking in earnest. That way I get to see friends, play pool, and stay sober. I loved waking up early this morning having slept well, and not having a hangover. I want that for tomorrow too.

@BrightPurple I get not having the guts to do it. For me it was a messy combination of fomo, worry about coping with events I've got coming up, worry about trying to explain to people, and guilt and shame, for needing to quit, and for not being able to moderate like "normal people" do. And if I admitted I needed to quit, what kind of person will I be if I fall off the wagon?

That's why I posted here, so I felt accountable, and like I was actually taking positive action. For the guilt and shame, I chatted with DP. If I mess up, I will be the kind of person who is kind to themself, picks themself up, and tries again.

Welcome @abeaverhausen, I'm also new, sort of. I'm back again after trying to moderate, and messing up.

Morning everyone!

Well I survived the holiday and am still AF. What did surprise me was that there were a fair few stressful incidents and my first reaction WASN'T 'I need a glass of wine' progress indeed.

Haven't caught up since we've been away and just jotting down a few random thoughts but I hope everyone is doing ok? And if you've fallen off the wagon, don't see this as the end, be kind and forgiving to yourself and hope back on...that's not meant to sound patronising but I've not had enough tea yet this morning!

@BrightPurple we are very similar in life stage! I have really only just started - 45 days in - but it took me forever faffing to get started. Years really. And really in my head I have only committed to 6 months to see. It's a difficult decision to make. Harder than cigarettes for me because I did that when I was trying to conceive.

Don't beat yourself up. It took personal circumstances to push me. I just really didn't think I would cope with certain things going on in work and family while drinking. I really felt I had to try it or massively fuck up something that's really important to me - something I'd regret forever if I got wrong. I think for me it would always have take some kind of push.

I'm kind of down about my carb eating and sugar cravings. I told myself I wasn't going to stress about it for now but I am getting vary fat!

We have friends coming over shortly and I will admit to being slightly conflicted.
The negative is that I'll have to explain that I'm not drinking tonight. As they're likely coming at staggered times, I'll need to repeat this a few times.
However, I realise this is short term pain and the rest of the night should be much better. I'll be able to taste the food, speak more coherently and generally be much more present than I'd have been when I was drinking.
Added to that, is that I can also look ahead to tomorrow and make plans. No disturbed sleep, sunday hangover, fear over what I've said or done or general regret and self loathing.
I have some AF options in, so that should make everyone else feel more comfortable. I realise I'm not responsible for others, though drinkers seem slightly nervous when there is a sober head in the company!
"The only drink I need to avoid is the first one"
Here goes...

Morning lads.
I am taking myself off this thread for a bit. I would rather not go into the details but I feel compromised. I shall just lurk instead. X

Oh no Wendy. I'm sorry to hear that.

Is is someone in RL who has found you here? Or just posters A/S you? (You don't have to say of course)

I post so openly and share quite a bit here that I'd hate to be recognised. I'm not ashamed or anything like that, I just really appreciate the sanctuary - and sanctity - of this thread.

Hope you are able to come back soon, maybe a NC?

@Crunchymum both!
I think that there are a fair few of us on this thread who are vulnerable and sadly I no longer feel free to disclose my struggles. I will be here behind the scenes. I have found the thread to be one of the kindest on the Internet. I have appreciated all the support. I have a distinctive writing style so the NC never works for me!
Have a good day my lovely sober sisters.

Oh @WendyWagon I am sorry to hear that. How awful for you. I love reading your posts and will really miss them.

Why don't we take a thread to OTBT? If people feel compromised? It's awful not to have a safe space? Or set up a very private FB group?

@MyGhastIsFlabbered what is OTBT?
I have been thinking about a private Facebook group.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered @Crunchymum
Thank you both.

OTBT is a board on here that can't be found by normal searches. And I think each thread only lasts 30 days before being deleted

7 Days AF! Hi everyone. I've been lurking here for a week now and haven't posted as I wanted to achieve a milestone first. This evening marks 7 days AF. Not long I know but given how much and how frequently I was hammering the stuff, it's huge.
I can't describe how good it feels waking up without a hangover, an empty wallet and generally feeling $hit about embarassing myself (half-remembered) the night before.
I have been reading many of the posts and have nothing but admiration for everyone who is way ahead of me and gratitude for the bare honesty about individual struggles.

Sorry you’re feeling compromised @WendyWagon. That’s really not a nice feeling. I’ve only been on here less than a month, but I’d happily move to OTBT or FB if that’s ok.

How was your Saturday @Gymspiration?

Welcome and Well done @Wytchewood. It’s so lovely having a clear head in the morning isn’t it?

Ive been out for a pub lunch today with some family friends. I was a bit nervous about admitting to being off drink, but it was totally fine and I had a good time. It’s also great to be home and sober rather than drunkenly crashing out on the sofa as soon as I got through the front door. Im really appreciating the extra time being sober is giving me (even if I’m not making the most out of it!)

@FlightDeckBuckarooo Thank you so much and yes it does feel good. Onwards and upwards.

@Wytchewood welcome and well done. The first week is tough. But the longer you last the more determination there is to stay off it! Just don’t listen to that blasted moderation whine..

@WendyWagon i will message you tomorrow. Bit late now. Sorry you feel the red to step back.

I have no idea what OTBT is, happy to follow wherever we go. I do feel we need to keep some kind of access to these threads and keep them active. They’ve been vital for so many of us.

Jeez *need… not red. I am sober I promise 🤣

@Fortheloveofgodwhy Thank you. Yes that little voice, one won't hurt etc etc. but as we all know one is never one and too much is never enough, at least in my case!

I'm on day 62 here. This is possibly my longest, intentional sober streak since I could legally drink (almost 30 years ago!)
Some days have been easier than others. I've happily given in to several sugar cravings, I've had some fairly flat days and I've had some 'boredom', though reading other posts, it may be something else. Under appreciated freedom perhaps.
My head is still alive with thoughts, noise and temptations. I'm just choosing not to quiten them with alcohol. I realise that is a short term fix and merely compounds a long term problem.
Today was an excellent day. We had friends over yesterday and I stuck to AF options. One couple clearly didn't notice and they were quite taken aback when I offered them a lift home at the end of the night.
I was up early (who knew Sundays had mornings?!) and have enjoyed coffees, smoothies, thousands of steps and real quality family time.
The last 62 days have not been easy, as can be seen from many of the posts on this thread. However, today made all of the tough choices worthwhile. I realise tomorrow may not be so smooth. All I can do is continue to avoid that first drink.
I read, and appreciate, every post on here. They all help me tremendously. Every post counts.
I've loved being sober today

Morning all.
Sorry you feel you need to pull back @WendyWagon - it must be upsetting to feel compromised like that

Welcome @Wytchewood !

Great post @Gymspiration - so glad you got through a tricky Saturday

11 months sober today. Very grateful for all the support on this threads x