The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

Welcome back @MangoBiscuit. I’m only on day 45 but I’m enjoying my sober life so far. My original plan was to moderate after completing dry Jan, but I quickly decided that wasn’t going to work for me.

@Crunchymum all the whoops and cheers for your 1 year.. soberversary I am thrilled to have been through it with you...

@MangoBiscuit good to have you back in the dry fold. Moderation is an evil (and unachieveable) word...

@Onewildandpreciouslife how is the wrist??

@WendyWagon let me know how the 00 goes, although my sugar addiction (moderation.. how we laugh) is being fed by AF wine.. but meh.. gotta have something to work on, i wouldn't want to be perfect ;-)

Day 9 for me without booze. On Friday I guzzled a bottle of alcohol-free wine (£3 from Sainsburys) which strangely seemed to satisfy me, which is encouraging. I'm wondering what it is about drink that I actually like? I'm noticing a total lack of my usual reflux, which is great.

Whoop whoop @Crunchymum !! Many congratulations on a year 🎉🎉

Get in @Crunchymum 🤩 that must feel amazing!!!

Brilliant stuff @Crunchymum ! What a fantastic achievement!!

Big welcome back to @MangoBiscuit good for you having the strength to admit that moderating isn't working. I tried and failed that many times - AF now since last August and know I can never go back.

Ooh @WendyWagon I'm going to have to hunt down the kylie Prosecco! I used to be a big fan of both 😆 beach hut season is coming and it's standard to have a bottle of something in the hut pantry cabinet! This will could be it..

@Newmum738 my mother slipped into drinking when my father passed (she was only 39) and obviously had younger children. She never admitted to being an alcoholic and hid it for years (wasn't too well hidden to us only the outside world)! When she got older it became an even bigger issue as she'd often fall over and end up in a terrible state. Sadly it never stopped, she eventually got cancer and died a very slow death whilst withdrawing from the alcohol.. if you can get help for her do so, she must be incredibly lonely and just numbing that with alcohol. That said .. be careful because a true alcoholic will sell the shirt off your back for a drink so it's a double edge sword. Sending you hugs xx

Well.. my worlds been busy! Building a new home, even getting into the gardening. Taken on more hours at work, it's all going good. Unfortunately the stbexh is slipping down a slippery slope and in complete denial. Still drinking a bottle of wine a night (at least) knocking himself every night.. but has health issues and sleep problems all brought on from drinking!! The kids were with him this weekend, didn't venture out at all 🤷🏼‍♀️DS sent me a video yesterday of him out cold on top of the bed snoring at 2 in the afternoon. They'd had no lunch, still in their night clothes and waiting for him to wake up. I've had to have harsh words.. he's not happy but I cannot risk him doing that. Both boys have autism, their logic is a little different so have to be more careful and stick to routine.. this is obviously not happening at his house. He's also admitted he can no longer drive long distances because he tends to nod off at the wheel.!! I'm getting quite concerned.

Also big congratulations to @MyGhastIsFlabbered for 100 days!

The wrist is fine, thanks @Fortheloveofgodwhy - I’m going to the fracture clinic later this week so will hopefully get a better cast

Lurker. Day 43 here and loving no hangovers, no anxiety, no fear, no drink planning, no bottle hiding, not being snappy with kids (well not from being half-pissed or hungover). Loving feeling like I am in control, can cope with most things at work, not looking like shit every morning. Not wishing my days away. £200 richer. More time for me, even if I'm still doing nothing. Not ashamed and furtive.

@Crunchymum congratulations to you, and all the other legends on here. What I've just learned now that euphoria wearing off a bit, is that problems and ugliness of life still remains, but better perspective and coping skills are byproducts of kicking the booze. And the community here are great examples of how to support each other through this with kindness and a little bit of sass 🙂 Thank you all x

Whoop whoop @Crunchymum! 1 year is a huge achievement 🎉

@rockingbird I've sent her a stock of AF Guinness which should arrive today. I'm sure she would do AF but she can't seem to manage to buy it herself in the shop. I'm trying to figure out how to move her currently. Sadly, I'm done with most of my family because they are nowhere to be seen in all this and my husband isn't a huge amount better. Considering moving her in with us for a bit and trying to figure out what impact that would have on my marriage 🙈

@Newmum738 you sound like you care very much for your mum. Can you have a conversation about her drinking. Framed in a more you don’t like her drinking and it worries you. Ask her if she would stop for you ? I’m sorry your DH is more supportive.

@Emnet23 you sound like you might be well into the brain shift. It’s glorious. When you really realise you don’t actually gain anything from drinking. As for the ugliness of life. I can’t eleven where I read it but it has been mentioned on here too. Sometimes you just have to sit with the feelings, as habitual drinkers we have a tendency to numb the feelings through our lives with alcohol. Now we have to emotionally grow up and live through them. Because they do pass.

interestingly a year on I find my day to day emotions pass quicker than when I was drinking. I probably used to hang onto to them as a reason to drink.

Massive congratulations to all celebrating a significant milestone.
100 days, 1 year - wow! Amazing.
I look at my job paltry 57 days and it seems almost insignificant. Though I know it's not. I've had Christmas and new year, a family 21st, a work leaving night (as the boss, I had the present, speech and related) and a long planned weekend away at the rugby. God bless Guinness zero. (other stouts are available)
@Emnet23 I am experiencing exactly what you describe there. The euphoria has gone and I feel strangely flat.
However, I love that I'm not planning around alcohol. Scheming. Constantly thinking up evil genius ways to get my fix.
Family have actually started to buy me 0% drinks, so I can see my decision is now being recognised by others. That is very pleasing.
One of the more unusual benefits, is that I'm cooking a lot more. I'm actually quite good at it. My wife is certainly enjoying the change.
Right, let's get these omelettes started!
I love being sober today.

Good morning lads.

@rockingbird sorry I didn't respond to your situation with EX DP. I am not sure what to advise other than a fierce conversation with him. I would worry a lot about the driving element. ASD DC will question the logic of drinking in my experience. They are the best behaviour guardians. My DD and nephew will both say 'why would you consume a poison?'.

And I turned down champagne yesterday!
Blinking heck.
Off cottage viewing.

Welcome @Emnet23 ! You’re right that being sober isn’t all fluffy pink clouds (as @Gymspiration is also finding) but there is this solid foundation that means the challenges can be faced head on.

Well done on the rugby weekend away @Gymspiration . I think there are tiny shifts happening in the beer culture around rugby, all very interesting.

oh @Newmum738 that all sounds so difficult with your mum, especially with the lack of support from others. But please do look after yourself in all this. You aren’t going to be able to “fix” her situation. We all know that no one can convince us to stop drinking except ourselves- and that holds just as true for a mum as it does for our best friend. I’m probably not the best person to comment on this, as it was dealing with my mum that pushed my drinking from “rather unhealthy” to “catastrophic” in a year.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy @Onewildandpreciouslife thanks both. I've spoken to her about the increased risk of falls and about dealing with emotions and she says yes but can't help it sometimes. Good advice that I can't fix it. She's been like this for a long time. My Dad said to watch her because she would drink if he died but he never told me what to do about it!! Current strategy is to send AF supplies and hope that keeps her on the straight and narrow.

@Gymspiration 57 days is an amazing achievement and we all started with days and then weeks and then months..... its a process and it has to be lived. You are doing a fantastic job.

Before this time I never managed longer than 42 days (pregnancy and breastfeeding aside)

Morning all.
Valentines drinkies was a can of Marks pre mix gin AF. I snaffled two of the DH's chocolates but too sweet for me.
Off to London for a posh lunch. An old friend from the early 1990s. And a yee hah, he is teetotal. There is a story there as I thought I remembered him as a boozer.
The DD had top marks in a mock exam this week so that should help her anxiety. I have been really worried about her. It makes me anxious too.
The cottage was too small but the other house may be available. Our hands are tied until the month end and I need to believe in the Scottish saying 'what's for you won't go by you'.
Have a good day my friends.

So delighted to pop onto this thread to see @Crunchymum has reached the one year milestone!!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

WELL DONE!!! I remember you joining the thread and look at you now. What an achievement!!🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Woohoo!!! Huge congratulations crunchymum amazing news on your 1 year soberversary! 🥳🥳🥳. Another one who remembers you coming on these threads. You should, quite rightly be so proud of yourself. Thanks to all the contributions you have made. It's always a two way street, as much support as you get from your posts there are always loads of us who are supported by you sharing.

newmum I'm sorry to hear things are difficult with your mum. Giving a handhold and hoping she works through this as she moves through her grief. My grandad was a functioning alcoholic and it's not easy. It is a big part of why I made this decision to go AF. I loved him dearly and we were very close but I didn't want to end up the same.

wendywagon aye, yer right enough, hen. Whit's fir ye 'll no gan by ye. Bon courage, my friend. 💛

I’m back from my weekend away with a few friends. Had a nice time. Did not drink.
It wasn’t tricky but it wasn’t plain sailing either. My friend had ordered 18 bottles of wine to be delivered so there was a lot of drink and drinking. As well as being around a lot of wine consumption, I also managed my first AF pub trip (to eat) which was fine. I snacked a lot whilst the others were drinking and consumed too much sugar and crisps considering I’m supposed to be on a diet. But hey.

I found the drunk people a bit irritating at points (especially my own DH) but it was fine and I know that they and others have put up with more irritating drinker behaviour from me in the past.
I found it tiring. Being around people when sober doesn’t allow you to switch off so much - which I wasnt expecting. I just wanted to escape to bed with a book after dinner, but that wasn’t allowed, so I had to stay up. It’s funny in a way because if I’d been drinking I would have inevitably passed out in bed drunk at a similar time (assuming a lunch time start to the wine) and no one would have batted an eyelid! But no early bed for sober me. At least I slept well when I did get there :-)
Not only was it a traditionally very boozy trip, but it was a made trickier this year due to one friends death and
another’s complicated situation. Maybe in different circumstances I’d have been a bit more selfish in regards to giving myself more ‘me time’ etc, but it wasn’t appropriate this time. Anyway I did enjoy myself. We went on lovely walks and we caught up with each other and that was great. And I’m very pleased to have completed it sober. And about the sober precedent I’ve set for the future - both to me and the friends I was with.

@FlightDeckBuckarooo your experience very much resonates with mine.
Spent a weekend with some heavy drinkers recently.
Was insightful to watch them become increasingly drunk. Stories would be repeated every 40 minutes or so! Faces became redder and I very much doubt the pints being poured down throats were enjoyed, after the first 2.
To be clear, I'm not judging or being preachy re my friends. Rather, it was a mirror on how I was and could be again. A great motivator not to drink.
Being first up the next morning and enjoying a coffee and smoothie as the city came to life was brilliant.
One additional takeaway - heavy drinkers reminisce and talk of the past more whereas those seeking sobriety are more forward looking. (I'm 58 days sober, so these are just my initial ramblings!)
Have a great, sober day

Yes @Gymspiration! the conversation because quite repetitive. And DH kept on forgetting how to cast music to the downstairs sound system. Absolutely no judgment from me either (I’d be the biggest hypocrite if I went down that route at all…). It didn’t make me miss drinking at all though. So that’s a good thing. And yes it was great being clearheaded in the morning and enjoying taking the dog out for an early morning wander rather than sitting in my PJs waiting for the paracetamol to kick in like I was last time.
I’m definitely enjoying focusing on the future. I’m 10 days behind you, so early days still. But I do feel like I’m here for the long term now.
Hope you’ve had a good day.

Hello everyone , I am so glad to see everybody making progress, and a special congratulations to @crunchymum, on the massive milestone of a booze free year. I'm not up to date with the thread so I know I will have missed other important dates, well done everyone racking up the days, months and years!

I've just seen the update in Nicola Bulley's case, and felt very touched by it. I just felt the need to pop back on and say hello. I feel so lucky to be living this life and to have had the love and support I needed, on here and in real life. I'm sending love to anyone struggling today. Keep going, it gets easier.

I know what you mean @Drybird2020 - I somehow feel angry on her behalf

Hey @Drybird2020😊 Always nice to see you😊. I feel so sad for Nicola and her family. The mention of menopause adds to the sadness, menopause provisions for women in this country are not good enough at all. (If menopause was a male issue, I’m sure the support would be a lot better!)