Alcohol free in 23

[DancingSober]

Hello!

This is the thread for doing a whole year alcohol free beginning tomorrow (although some have started a bit early).

This isn't a moderation thread, so it isn't for cutting down. It's absolutely no alcohol for the whole of 2023.

That said, slip ups happen and I will not be throwing anyone off the thread if they have a blip, (or several blips), but please don't post if you're planning to have a few drinks here and there, as it may affect people who are struggling to remain AF but want to.

Tagging everyone from the initial thread:

@SerialMover
@Metalhead
@nancydroo
@blondie87
@TooSunny
@Preparedforjobnottolast
@thenewaveragebear1983
@limitededitionbarbie
@afaloren
@hashbrownsandwich
@Wantmyownbed

I think that's everyone, but please join if you want to (it's open to everyone) and huge apologies if I have missed anyone with my tagging.

Great to see your updates @HappyHealthy23 and @Coppergate2

How was your weekend @Coppergate2 ? Hopefully you enjoyed having a sober buddy and it made the weekend easier?

Hi all. I'm back. Life has taken over, I can't say I've been 'good' but equally haven't been as bad as I was. Definitely creeping back into the bad territory now and need some support. So back to day 1.

It was really good, thank you @TeeNoG ! I got on really well with my sober buddy - wish we lived closer!

I did have a couple of glasses of wine but I had more soft drinks, not because I was making myself but because that was what I wanted. I wasn’t sure about posting this - that I drank. I’m not entirely sure what my aim is now. I don’t want to drink or think about drinking most days (big change) and when I do drink I definitely don’t want to get pissed (also a change).

I think that not having an aim now or a plan feels a bit dangerous though. I had one small glass of wine with dinner - didn’t want more but if I do that every night I know that will soon change. I need to ban drinking at home.

Glad you’re back @onelife22 - you’re already one day ahead of me. Where was your drinking creeping back in?

@Coppergate2 my mum has cancer again and I went into F it mode. At first I just drank a couple of times out but I have drank at home 3 times and cutting that out was a big thing for me even if I had a couple of drinks out. We only had a couple of bottles of stuff I liked left so clean slate, apart from a bottle of Baileys which will stay closed til Xmas the house has nothing in it I would drink.

Plus I was doing so well at weight loss and not surprisingly it stalled and I gave up on exercise which I had also been enjoying.

Had a couple of drinks at home Weds and was like what on earth are you doing. Back to calorie counting and exercise yesterday and feeling positive again.

How is everyone else doing? I'll try to read back at some point to catch up.

Glad you are all still here x

Gawd sorry I haven't been on here for ages. Silence from me is normally a bad thing...! But ... I am doing okay, I have had 61 dry days out of 68 this year which is probably the best I've done in decades. Honestly I struggled a bit in Feb with moderation and a holiday seeing family. I also struggled outside the "safety" of Dry January. Parameters seem to help me so I have given alcohol up for lent which is going fine. I am podcasting and journalling a lot and working through a lot of underlying emotional issues which I have super-successfully squashed down with the auld paint-stripper forever.

So sorry to hear about your Mum @onelife22
The fuck-it mode is a real thing. Just consider it data points, learning, be so so kind to yourself.

Hope everyone is okay xx

So sorry to hear about your mum @onelife22

Sounds like you're managing fuck it mode really well if you're turning that round already and taking care of yourself again.

Glad you've got lent to focus on @steppered! I miss the challenge of dry January too.

I've got to admit I came home from work just now and thought about drinking later - that Friday feeling. Hopefully, it will pass...I need to get engrossed in one of my projects...

I find it helps if I have a goal. I did DJ, then 60 days, now reset to 100 days (I'm on day 70.) Need to re listen to my quit lit too, stay on track. I still feel the odd pang but then it's gone. I've had a sober holiday and many sober weekends. I am enjoying being sober 😊

I agree about having a goal, and for me it had to be a longer term one, which is why I committed to a whole year. I’m now on Day 71, and since passing the 2 month mark the cravings have definitely become fewer and easier to deal with. Like today, I briefly thought about drinking tonight as I’ve had a stressful week, but instead I sat in my car whilst waiting for DD2 to finish her gymnastics class and blasted out some of my favourite tunes at full volume! (Probably looked like a bit of a plonker to anyone walking by, but who cares 😂)

@onelife22 so sorry about your Mum. I can totally understand the F it moment with that stress 

Glad you enjoyed your weekend @Coppergate2 I don't thinks there's any 'right' way to tackle this alcohol thing, you just have to take your own journey.

@Steppered @Metalhead @AthenaWhite , you're all doing great, well done to everyone!

I've just ordered myself a bottle of the alcohol free Martini - I've had it before and it's lovely with tonic water in a big fancy glass!

Hi all- i fell off the thread (and wagon).

back on tomorrow. :)

See you tomorrow and thank you all for the thread.

@SnowAndIceLobelia welcome back on the wagon! How are you?

Morning! Thank you for the welcome.

I am fine thank you. Tired and a bit fed up of myself and the yo yo AF days but newly committed. I have alot of distraction techniques planned for the witching hiour today- mainly housekeeping related!

I hope you are very well also!

Hello all! Finding the AF life pretty easy myself, been slowly working towards more and more AF days over the last 4 years. How is everyone doing this Mothering Sunday?

Wanted to recommend a podcast to anyone who wants to remind themselves why they're doing this - Huberman Lab "what alcohol does" from 22 Aug 2022.

Realised that sounded a bit gloaty but I did not mean it that way!

Don’t worry @frostyfours I feel the same. I have avoided posting a bit because I don’t want to annoy anyone by saying it’s going so well and I am finding it easy.

Truth is, I have done three months a few times before, and decided I had obviously cracked it and could moderate. I think you can all guess how that ended! Badly! So I don’t want to tempt fate, but yes, it feels different this time. I am going to credit Alcohol Explained by William Porter with how well I am doing. I have bought the second book as back up for if/when I wobble.

Out last night with a group who usually drink a lot (but not as much as my main friendship group who are professionals.) I offered to drive, making it clear I was still not drinking. I was surprised and quite pleased that two other people said they would also drive. It does make it a bit easier.

I have so much more energy and have taken on some much needed projects at home. My DC say I am more present and less annoying 😂

I’m still doing well too, have got used to not drinking as the default setting now. However, I will have a big test in a couple of weeks when we go to visit my family abroad for the Easter holidays. My dad and brother always have plenty of good wines in the house, and we’ve had many late nights staying up drinking and chatting ever since I can remember. I might have to take some AF drinks with me as the selection over there is not great, and I think I might struggle a bit if I’ve just got water or juice to drink.

Something I just thought of. One of my friends last night had “just one” glass of wine and then a top up. She would definitely have been over the limit on her 45 minute drive home.

I am embarrassed and ashamed to think of all the times I have probably done the same 😞

I'm still doing really well too. Day 78 here.

@frostyfours and @rothbury , I've sort of being avoiding posting too because a. it does sound a bit like gloating and b. what else is there to say other than "all well here"?

However, last week I had a bit of a time. My aunt died and I had to travel to my home country for the funeral etc. My family are quite big drinkers, so I was a bit worried about how the evenings would go. Like you, @Metalhead , we usually have late nights of drinking and chatting.
My Dad's local shop had an AF section, however, so I decided to try some of the AF wine. I really quite liked the Freixenet 0.0 and the Torres Natureo (I tried both the red and white versions) were not bad at all either. I'll certainly get them again for such occasions, although I don't really see the point of them for everyday.
Anyway, I told my family I was doing "one year, no beer" and they were all really supportive - my sister actually bought the Freixenet for me when we visited her. Overall, I was really pleased with how it went - drinking-wise - and it's reassured me a lot for my next visit home and other drinking events that may crop up during the year. I actually had a pleasant time without alcohol!
However, I feel I must warn you all that drinking a large volume of liquid before bed is still a bad idea even if that liquid does not contain alcohol - I was in and out to the loo all night! 😀

I'm actually doing okay too. Was very tempted whilst celebrating on Saturday night but stayed on the af beers and was soon back on the cups of tea. Is there an af wine that has that actual alcohol flavour?

Well, the ones I mentioned above were very palatable. I don't know about an actual alcohol flavour, as the flavour of alcohol itself is pretty gross imo, but my wine aficionado Dad tasted both the red and the white Torres Natureo wines and was very pleasantly surprised at how nice they were.

Hello 😊

I'm just back (again) after taking a break from MN. It didn't help. I'm afraid the last two weeks have not been good as I've basically slipped into my old habits again. So drinking (although I do drink less than before as I stop earlier). No hangovers but I am definitely feeling the negative effects now. Sleep less good. Lack motivation. Despondent. I've been having one, two or three glasses of wine nearly every day in March.

If I'm honest - I want February back. February I had one or two glasses of something once a week or so and didn't want any more than that. Yes, the myth of moderation! I couldn't done February without AF January though, and my February led to my March...so...

I just need to not drink between now and Friday - that is about as lofty a goal as I can set myself right now (I'm away at the weekend). It's not really in the spirt of this thread though, so I need to post somewhere else for a while whilst I sort out my head and what my aims actually are.

I am so pleased to read about you all doing so well for your AF in 2023 Journey, there is definitely a part of me that wants to join you again but it just feels too overwhelming right now.

Hi Coppergate, good to hear from you. Unasked for advice incoming so please feel free to ignore if it's not helpful. I think that you are trying to do moderation and that is what is overwhelming. The mental load of moderation is very heavy and is relying on your willpower being perfect in every situation. How would you feel about deciding to give up fully? What I found helpful was learning about alcohol so I could understand what was happening and why. Without that it's like trying to just run a marathon with no training. It helped me understand why moderation wouldn't work, why my body/mind would want alcohol and I wasn't trying to battle a faceless demon, I could see exactly what was happening. Good luck.

Thank you @WithFlamingLocksOfAuburnHair ❤

It is trying to do AF again that feels overwhelming right now. I'm back at one day at a time and not thinking past the end of the week. I feel like I can do that.

I need a clear run again (like January) and this weekend away is too soon ...I'll get past that (not planning on getting pissed btw! Maybe I won't even drink but I don't want to set myself up to fail so soon either). Then I'll start listening to the podcasts and audible books again.

open.spotify.com/episode/2ebY3WNejLNbK47emgjd1E?si=ZedVrLgER-SGNezQOBm8kg

I highly recommend this podcast which reinforces why we are going AF. Eye opening!

All the best Coppergate - I know it's difficult.

Pootling along here. 88% dry days this year. I don't drink in the week anymore which is indeed an improvement from the last few years & I'm not craving it. Journalling is a massive help for me and I am getting way better at "sitting with my feelings".

Saturdays are a bit of a struggle, I still have this reward/treat link associated with alcohol and have been slipping into drinking Saturday evenings at social events. I tend to drink the whole bottle too which I'm aware isn't ideal, it seems to awaken the little demon voice shouting MORE MORE! But I'm trying not to beat myself up, actually being kinder to myself helps a lot.

Still enjoying podcasts and self-help type books. Mentally I am feeling in a better place; hopefully I will tackle the Saturday night and holiday situations because for me those are huge challenges. Especially with a sunshine holiday round the corner. Any tips appreciated!