Alcohol free in 23

[DancingSober]

Hello!

This is the thread for doing a whole year alcohol free beginning tomorrow (although some have started a bit early).

This isn't a moderation thread, so it isn't for cutting down. It's absolutely no alcohol for the whole of 2023.

That said, slip ups happen and I will not be throwing anyone off the thread if they have a blip, (or several blips), but please don't post if you're planning to have a few drinks here and there, as it may affect people who are struggling to remain AF but want to.

Tagging everyone from the initial thread:

@SerialMover
@Metalhead
@nancydroo
@blondie87
@TooSunny
@Preparedforjobnottolast
@thenewaveragebear1983
@limitededitionbarbie
@afaloren
@hashbrownsandwich
@Wantmyownbed

I think that's everyone, but please join if you want to (it's open to everyone) and huge apologies if I have missed anyone with my tagging.

I managed to resist temptation, made a cup of tea and started watching season 4 of The Last Kingdom instead. Trying to remember all the characters and what happened in the previous season is definitely easier with a clear head! 😂

Well done @Metalhead !

I've got a day off work and I've pretty much wasted it so far and developed a headache. Hairdressers this afternoon, hopefully I'll feel more productive after that. There are so many other things I want to work on but I'm struggling to make the first step with them.

I've got atomic habits as an audible book - I shall do 20 mins of housework whilst listening to that before I'll allow myself any kind of screen time when I get home. See if that gives me a nudge...

Morning! I've 40 days AF as of today. 😃
My last longest sober streak recently was 41 days in Autumn, so I'm looking forward to beating that.
I did expect to have more energy by now though. I'm still tired and unmotivated to do much exercise at the moment. Not tempted to drink though, so that's good.

Well done @HappyHealthy23 that's great, this is day 41 for me.

I felt great a few weeks in but back to feeling exhausted now. I think it's down to doing more than I would if I was drinking so tiring myself out more.

Good morning everyone! Happy Saturday. I am dropping the kids at my sisters and going for an overnight and a fancy meal tonight. OH did put a little pressure on me to drink but then gave up and said “at least I have a driver 🤷‍♀️ “.

before he said this I did have a little moment I was thinking “oh F it, I’m going to enjoy my night and have a drink”. Then I thought about what I’d actually be gaining. A few hours of “fun” for the next day feeling ILL, anxious and unmotivated.

for Christmas my OH bought me a pack of 6 wines which were really fancy and they’re still sitting in the cupboard. I did also have a moment of “oh maybe I’ll just have them since it’s a waste otherwise”.

I’m feeling great mentally but a little bored, I’m not going to lie.

Long post alert

The past few days have been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions. I had a reasonable week diet and exercise wise. I’d been getting a fair amount of sleep and continuing to work hard on reducing screen time.

I had plans to go out for dinner on Friday night with my non-drinking friend and Thursday evening I started to tell myself that I could maybe have a couple of glasses of wine Friday night. The usual justifications in my head. I’ve done really well so far. I’ll just have a couple. I’ll be with someone who doesn’t drink so it will be easy to moderate. By bed time I had made up my mind I was going to drink Friday night.

And then I woke up Friday morning and I was furious with myself. Why would I tell myself it would be ok to drink when I have so many reasons to stay sober? Why am I still playing this stupid game in my head about drinking? Why after all this time is it still consuming my thoughts? I thought I had made real progress this year but this episode has highlighted how weak I still feel and how strong that desire is.

So after tearing a strip off myself I went out last night and didn’t drink and when my friend asked me why, I told her about my friend who had died of liver cirrhosis and how I needed a break from alcohol to reset some bad habits.

And of course I am glad this morning I didn’t drink. It may have only been two glasses last night but that isn’t the point because I know me and whilst I may have stopped at two that time, it would build back up and before I know it, one bottle doesn’t touch the sides.

So that’s where I am. In this strange grey area of knowing I still want to stay sober but still thinking about alcohol and having to remind myself of all the reasons I don’t actually want to drink and all the benefits to my life when I don’t.
I’ll admit I thought I would be passed this by now but it might help explain why it was around this time last year that I gave in / gave up.

@NoTimeForWine very glad to hear that you successfully listened to you inner voice telling you what you really wanted [to stay sober]!

Not drinking is definitely making it's way on my 'never regretted list', which has for more trivial decisions really but works quite well I'm in two-minds about something self care based. I think it will take quite a while not to ever need to have these kind of self conversations - maybe they'll always be there, but less frequent/intense and more quickly concluded when as we practice repeating the process and consciously notice how glad we are the next day when we listened to what we really want.

Congratulations on matching your longest sober streak today @HappyHealthy23 !

I haven't wanted to drink at all this week, which I'm very relieved about after last Saturday - feel completely back on track.

I'm planning to deep clean the kitchen today, or at least make a good start. The time really has come for me to make some much better choices around food - eat the way I want to eat but have been too lazy to manage.

oops - missed a couple of words out in that! Hopefully it is still readable. I type faster than my brain can cope with, which isn't that fast really but...

Good morning everyone! I’m still going strong. Made plans to have Sunday lunch with a friend in a couple of weeks. We usually sink a bottle each at least.

I explained that I was off the booze, and she surprised me by saying she was also not drinking. So I am feeling pretty positive overall.

Some posters seem to be trying to use willpower? Have you read Alcohol Explained by William Porter? It really helped me to understand the craving and be able to observe it detachedly and dismiss it without having to rely on my extremely limited willpower!!

@NoTimeForWine everytime I’ve been doing alcohol free for any length of time, and have then drank and ended the alcohol free run, I can look back and recognise that self talk that you had on thursday. It’s SO sneaky! Experience tells me that that is my biggest enemy. Even months down the line. I can deal relatively easily with all the outside pressures to drink but that internal little drinky monster is a bugger!

I’m feeling the voice today. I have swayed between let yourself have a drink tonight it’ll be fun, it’ll make the night better with my OH, it’s a one off, I’m away for a valentines over night. Have a bottle of wine. The kids are with a babysitter. Why not….

@Pollypower you need to challenge your thinking on this.

Why would drinking make you get on better with your partner? All the evidence suggests that couples are more likely to argue when drinking alcohol. Do you find them boring or annoying generally?

You know that the alcohol won’t really make it more fun. You’re making excuses.

I am being tough on you for your own good!!!

I know I know… thank you. I had a drink and I’m already in the fuck it mindset. Im sorry it’s disappointing but I’ve been bored and honestly feel like I’m a rubbish mum regardless. I done this so I’d have more energy for them and somehow still dont.

Don’t beat yourself up @Pollypower, enjoy your evening but maybe try not to let that “fuck it” voice win and go too crazy.

I can totally sympathise with how you’re feeling, I’m not really seeing any major benefits of not drinking (apart from not being hungover obviously) and really miss that escape from reality I get from wine, even if it’s just temporary.

ive had a couple of glasses of wine. Now ready to call it a night….at half past 9. Ordered a glass of water, So yes. Thanks for understanding.

@Pollypower tomorrow is a new day. See you then. What we are doing is not easy but it will be worth it.

You handled it really well @Pollypower - very restrained. I hope you had a lovely evening.

I think energy and boredom issues just take time - as we remove alcohol we are in a much better place to tackle the other things in our life that are stopping us living the life we really want, but it doesn't just fix them. That's my thinking/experience anyway. I finding it slow going though, and yesterday I came to realise that I've partially plugged this gap with losing myself in the internet/online diary rather getting on an doing what I really want to do...

How is everyone doing?

I'm gearing up for my first night out of the year this weekend (clearly don't get out much 😂). We are visiting the in laws and they are looking after our son whilst we go out and meet friends. I feel ok about it, but know I need a plan of what I will actually drink. I also hope I won't get too bored.

I’ve felt so down and depressed after the weekend. I don’t regret drinking but I do know it doesn’t serve me. At all. I can’t wait to feel better.

Those who are worried about being bored when not drinking. You wouldn’t think that if you were meeting someone for coffee over lunchtime. You would surely sit there and laugh and listen and have a great time.

You have just been conditioned to think that alcohol brings the fun. It doesn’t. It takes the fun away. 😞

@rothbury I entirely agree! I didn't articulate myself well. I think there's a possibility of being bored with the drunk chat by the end of the night. It won't kill me, but it will irritate me 😂. I'd much prefer to go for a meal, but we are just going to the pub this time. DH doesn't often see this group of friends so I'll go along with it this time though.

@Pollypower I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon. Do something nice for yourself, and try to resolve to dust yourself down and get back on that sober wagon.

Oh yes, luckily I haven’t had to cope with horribly drunk people yet.

Was out for five hours with friends. Cocktails, wine, spirits. But to be honest they (and I) wouldn’t be terribly drunk on five hours, not enough to be boring. I did find it interesting though, observing how their behaviour changed slightly, in different ways.

Maybe think of it as a social experiment! And yes, if you’re bored/they get too lairy, at least you can get yourself home safely

I like the idea of a social experiment, that makes it interesting already!

Can I join? I drank way to much over Christmas then started DJ as I always do. This resets me and then I send the year negotiating with myself over how much I can drink, when, using it as a reward or an anesthetic. This year feels different as I'm 46 days in and no intention of going back. the quit lit has really helped. Understanding what alcohol is, what it does. I'm on a weeks holiday which would have been an excuse to drink when I want but I'm just enjoying being sober. Alcohol takes so much and eventually will shorten your life. Sobriety gives you time. I have so much more time!

I still have cravings and my chocolate consumption is through the roof, need to tackle the sugar monster next. I've completed DJ, next target is 60 days, then 100. I like the idea of goals and need to remind myself why I'm doing this at times.

Welcome @AthenaWhite it sounds like you're doing great.

I very nearly cracked tonight, the first time since NYE I've really fancied a drink. The takeaway took ages to collect and I'm sure I would have had a drink when I got home had it not have been 8.30pm.

I also knew I would regret it as I text my sister saying I fancied a drink. She said if I am only going to have one then do it but if I don't think I will stop at one (which of course I wouldn't have) then don't do it. So I didn't.