Alcohol free in 23

[DancingSober]

Hello!

This is the thread for doing a whole year alcohol free beginning tomorrow (although some have started a bit early).

This isn't a moderation thread, so it isn't for cutting down. It's absolutely no alcohol for the whole of 2023.

That said, slip ups happen and I will not be throwing anyone off the thread if they have a blip, (or several blips), but please don't post if you're planning to have a few drinks here and there, as it may affect people who are struggling to remain AF but want to.

Tagging everyone from the initial thread:

@SerialMover
@Metalhead
@nancydroo
@blondie87
@TooSunny
@Preparedforjobnottolast
@thenewaveragebear1983
@limitededitionbarbie
@afaloren
@hashbrownsandwich
@Wantmyownbed

I think that's everyone, but please join if you want to (it's open to everyone) and huge apologies if I have missed anyone with my tagging.

I'm too busy with work at the moment but if I do thinkbIm going to have time on my hands I fancy ordering a diamond painting kit from amazon. I don't think I could be bothered with a big picture but there are Easter cards and such like that have to be posted away so you don't end up lumbered with the final product.

Well done everyone on another Friday night complete. Love the painting @Pollypower ! God I love waking up on a weekend morning now. I've had such a good sleep, in clean sheets and feel great.

Me too! I've done so many jobs already.

Hi all

Love the painting @Pollypower! It's amazing what you find the time for when there's no wine on the sofa time.

I'm a bit tired and full of the cold today which is annoying. I'm about to go for a walk in the cold sunshine which should brighten me up a bit.

I went through my loft this morning to rotate some clothes and found a few nice things I haven't worn for a while, including my size down jeans which now fit 🥳🎉! Very pleased about that. I'm not weighing myself and imagine I'd only be disappointed if I did. It may all just be lack of bloat, but I care not! I'm calling it a win.

I have my first big test tonight. Friends party. Already had one friend texting my OH to ask If he has convinced me to drink yet. Sigh.

That's so annoying @Pollypower. What is wrong with people that they can't just drink as much or as little as they like without dragging other people into it?

After a few drinks in, I bet they won't even remember you aren't drinking

I can’t remember or anticipate a social event where I have / will regret not drinking! I have tended to have a better time (beyond my 20’s perhaps 😉) if the truth be told.

That's really odd Pollypower

Maybe DH should message the friend back asking if there's a particular reason they want his wife to be drunk?

I am doing Ok although my sweet tooth has reared it's very ugly head this weekend

Good luck for tonight @Pollypower, hopefully you won’t actually have to deal with annoying question like that when you’re there!

DH and I are also going out tonight, to a friend’s 40th at the local pub. I said I’ll drive as we’re leaving our two DDs home alone, so we can get back quickly if need be, and the pub has some nice AF drinks so I should be fine.

Day 21! Whoop whoop.
Lots to update. I went to the pub on Thursday evening, didn’t drive and didn’t drink. I had an AF cider, which was really sweet but despite some friends drinking I stayed strong. I need to get used to just not drinking around other people. I’ve been finding it fairly easy at home but going out is much harder.

I’m out tonight for a lovely expensive meal but I’m driving to avoid the urge as a few little thoughts have been creeping at times. Last time we went to this restaurant I had a really nice bottle of wine. Driving just takes the choice off the table.

@Daechwita I’m also in the spotty phase. I remember last year doing dry Jan and I had this. Large, red, angry spots on my face. I look like a teenager. Could do without that to be honest.

Still managing to resist the coffee, haven’t had any caffeine this year. The diet is going well too. I do relax it at weekends because I need something to look forward to (!) but during the week I’ve kept on track. Still drinking plenty of water too.

@Coppergate my DH is the same. Yesterday he told me he wasn’t feeling great and hadn’t been sleeping well, so probably wouldn’t drink that evening. Come 7pm he was opening a bottle or red. I didn’t say anything because I’ve been there myself. Spent the day trying to convince myself that I won’t drink that evening because of x,y or z and then can’t physically stop myself. He only drinks 2 nights a week though and finds moderation easy.

@TimeAndSpace I’m exercising in my extra time, although I appreciate this isn’t possible for everyone. For me it’s mainly because I have a beach holiday coming up but also, it stops me binge eating in the evening and I’m desperate to improve my quality of life. Sleep, water, diet, exercise, less screen time etc. I’ve started to switch off the ipad when I’m watching tv. I swear I’ve watched a film while drinking wine and then watched it again and got about an hour in before I’ve realised.

@Pollypower those pictures are beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing. Good luck for tonight.

@DancingSoberthat’s great about the jeans!

21 days is such an achievement. I'm feeling good.

I've had such a busy day, good busy though. Feels good to achieve so much.

My DH drinks much less than me but said last night he was struggling with dry Jan. He really wanted a drink last night after a crap week and work and said how well I had been doing as he broke his chocolate ban very early into Jan. He said he is thinking about dry Feb too so that would really help me on our weekend away.

Yes, 21 days! Three weeks is great! I've watched people all around me cave in and grab a glass of wine on their dry january challenge and I've felt so good that I've not done it, even though I've had some terrible days where I would normally do just that! I'm feeling much more confident that I can maybe manage 2023 alcohol free!

Well done everyone for another day. I survived my first party sober. I even danced! Driving home I felt like I was. Doing something illegal as my mind just associates party with drinking.

I got a couple - are you pregnant/ you’re boring etc. but overall it was absolutely fine. I drank 0% cider.

one friend came over and he’s a big drinker. He asked if I had drank and I expected some teasing but I said nope and he said wow that’s great. He told me he done 75 days last year sober and the mental clarity was amazing. That surprised me and gave me a boost.

It was interesting to watch everyone slowly get drunk.

im off to a yoga class this morning now. Feeling so proud

I totally get what you mean about it feeling illegal driving home late sober 😆

Well done @Pollypower that's brilliant. Well done for not giving in and great to have some unexpected support. Xx

That was really nice of your friend to say that to you. It's the image of slowly speaking shit that's keeping me going. And the terrible sleep and morning.

Yay! Well done @Pollypower - that's great news!!😀

Fabulous news about the Jeans @DancingSober !!

I tried sparkling tea last night - had it in a champagne flute. It was nice!

However, on that note I'm gearing up to 'going up a level' for February and calming it down on my sugar intake/consciously adding in eating windows (snacking issue in the evening which apart from my weight isn't great for teeth).
Taking 'Fast February' as my inspiration (I've worked up to 20:4 before but no fixed goal - just consciously NOT eating/drinking calories for 3 hours in the evening would be enough start, maybe 16:8 but less bothered about that).

The vague plan is to add in another focus/aim/emerging habit every month to keep things moving forward with the lifestyle change. I think it is going to be important long term to fill in these holes that drinking patched over, and it is going to take some effort. I know I can't go all out and change everything at once - been there, done that - crash every time. Slow permanent changes.

I'm with you @Copperbridge , cutting down on the sugar is the next good habit addition.

Am I the only one in a foul mood today? I think it started last night. I just didn’t enjoy my meal out with DH. It really isn’t much fun being the sober one. The restaurant was cold and it probably bothered me much more than if I’d had a couple of wines. The food was disappointing and again, as I wasn’t drinking it was the food I’d been looking forward to. The cherry on the cake was last night I had a really vivid dream where I had been at the same restaurant, having the same meal but I was drinking alcohol. I woke up feeling a bit sad that this is life now. I know that’s dramatic and I probably wouldn’t feel that way if I’d been with someone else not drinking but in my dream I was having such a fun time

Then I took my DS to a soft play party this morning. Again, it was freezing and whilst I was grateful to be alert and not feeling sick/hungover, his behaviour was difficult and I couldn’t wait to leave.

Been feeling a bit down today. Obviously the diet went out the window yesterday for my big meal out so maybe the over-eating is contributing to my low mood. I haven’t had half as much water today as I usually do either, I’m just too cold. Might go and boil the kettle and drink some lukewarm tap water in an effort to shake off this mood.

Hope the weekend is playing out more positively for everyone else.

Congrats @Pollypower reading your update has made me feel slightly better! I did 44 days last year before I broke on Feb 14th.

I'm sorry. That does sound tough. Especially sitting being cold. I'm not thinking of it as a forever thing. Maybe focus on just '23? Forever would feel too much for me.

You many be overestimating how much the wine would've compensated for the cold restaurant and disappointing food. Being cold in a restaurant is horrible. Sorry last night was a bit of a dud @NoTimeForWine .

I agree - forever is too much to contemplate. I feel strongly I need this year though as a full re-set, who knows after that. To learn to enjoy things without alcohol and I dare say learn what I don't enjoy without alcohol to numb the pain (and do something less boring instead!). I'm taking the year a month at a time.

I feel flat this weekend more than anything. I've been fairly tired most of today and unproductive. Work has really taken it out of me this week and I don't think the freezing cold weather is helping at all. Definitely looking forward to spring!

I’m feeling really down today too. I am definitely suffering from mood swings

I have been a bit snappy today but think it's down to tiredness. I have been much more active which has hit me this weekend. Usually I would happily lay in bed all morning given the chance but I'm actually getting up and doing something active which has caught up with me.

I am away with work this week so will make sure I get an early night rather than drinking allllllll the wine like I usually would!

I like the idea of taking it one month at a time. I know when I broke last year after 44 days I regretted it pretty much instantly. I’m not particularly tempted to drink, I think I’m just struggling to adjust to the change. Maybe if it had been warm and the food amazing, I wouldn’t have given it another thought.

I’m wondering if my low mood is hormonal and I’m feeling it more than usual as normally I’m trying to counteract the high of drinking followed by the low of a hangover and that overcompensating takes a lot of head space. Maybe I’m just more aware of my mood this month as I don’t have that cycle going on, which is pretty consuming.

Anyway, I gave myself some time this morning to go for a walk and eat a load of fruit and now I’m back home ready to tackle the day. I think I just need to re-focus on my why. Why am I not drinking right now and remind myself that this year I desperately want to improve my quality of life and not drinking is really just the start of this journey.

Thanks everyone, it did help to have a moan. Day 23. It’s been a while since I could say that.