Alcohol free in 23

[DancingSober]

Hello!

This is the thread for doing a whole year alcohol free beginning tomorrow (although some have started a bit early).

This isn't a moderation thread, so it isn't for cutting down. It's absolutely no alcohol for the whole of 2023.

That said, slip ups happen and I will not be throwing anyone off the thread if they have a blip, (or several blips), but please don't post if you're planning to have a few drinks here and there, as it may affect people who are struggling to remain AF but want to.

Tagging everyone from the initial thread:

@SerialMover
@Metalhead
@nancydroo
@blondie87
@TooSunny
@Preparedforjobnottolast
@thenewaveragebear1983
@limitededitionbarbie
@afaloren
@hashbrownsandwich
@Wantmyownbed

I think that's everyone, but please join if you want to (it's open to everyone) and huge apologies if I have missed anyone with my tagging.

I think there is an expectation that because I’ve stopped drinking I’m going to feel amazing and then when I’m grumpy and sad I feel annoyed!

I have just been invited to full weekend hen do for a friend. It’s at the end of March. I’m not sure what to do as I don’t want to go but feel I should. It’s a distant friend and I don’t know anyone else going plus this friend is childfree and our history of nights out are extremely drunken nights so I know I won’t feel comfortable going and staying sober.

These three things jumped out at me @Pollypower

I don’t want to go
It’s a distant friend
I don’t know anyone else going

As the saying goes...it is an invitation not a summons. Given what you've mentioned above I know what I would do - send my regrets, today.

I'm also tired again today. I'm now making now attempt to cut of my ipad in bed habit and Paul McKenna has gone out of the window. I think because I am getting up earlier at a regular time I am getting away with it a bit more than I was but obviously not completely. Also, my current eating habits won't be helped.

Got to go and brush my teeth ready for my root canal treatment now...

I just wanted to nip on and say that we are all doing really well!

I managed to stay sober on my 40th birthday weekend away in a hot tub in the woods. It was amazing and I was so grateful to be sober and up early every morning to walk for hours in the frozen forest then spend all afternoon in the steamy hot tub. It was magical 😊

Belated happy birthday @Wantmyownbed and well done for a sober celebration for your 40th. Sounds like a great weekend and right up my street.

I'm away with DH and the kids next weekend and I can't wait.

Sounds amazing @Wantmyownbed - and a very happy birthday to you!

I really must've been tired when I wrote my last post - it is barely readable! 😵

Happy birthday @Wantmyownbed
Sounds like a great way to enter your forties!

Sounds like a few of us have hit the skids a little these last few days. I was irritatingly chipper on blue monday so guess it's hit me a week later!

For me, it's that forever question as well. It's stupid really because I am happier and I feel better not drinking! But, my brain is going a million miles an hour. The quit lit, podcasts, emails etc are so helpful and valuable but I just feel a bit like it's 24/7. I try to keep busy which helps but it's always there. The voice is creeping in now saying - "look at you! You're working on yourself! Sure you can just drink occasionally now?!"

Part of me thinks this is probably quite normal; part of me thinks it's a sign that my drinking was firmly in the grey area. Part of me hopes it is my brain learning and batting these addictive voice thoughts away. I dunno.

I had a real win last week, I went to a boozy client lunch and didn't have a drop; then a cocktail event in the evening and didn't have a drop either. Nor was I bothered! It was very interesting watching others drink though. All these wins I hope add up into small building blocks of sobriety.

One Day At A Time.

I think my skin is still improving. Also wonder if my mood is better. Think it might be hormones to blame. How are all of you?

Belated happy birthday, @Wantmyownbed !

I haven't been around in a while as the site is so glitchy on my phone, I keep writing posts and then they get lost. It's driving me mad. I have a no-Mumsnet rule while working, but I've just decided to break it for this thread.

@Steppered I seem to be on opposite time to you. After being in a foul mood all last week, I'm back to being irritably chipper this week.
I've made a definite decision not to think too much about the future - I'm just concentrating on this year and how I feel being AF for this one year. It also means I've shut off the stupid little "just moderate" voice in my head by telling it I'll make a decision about that after this year.

I've a huge amount going on at the moment in both my work and personal life and I'm actually really glad that I'm AF through it as I need all my poor brain for thinking at the moment. 🤗 I'm grateful not to be hungover or exhausted during it.
I've also developed a slight addiction to putting Laura Branigan's 'Gloria' on and dancing around the room on my own like a loon, but nobody else needs to know that. 😉😅

I'm really noticing how quickly the craving for alcohol is disappearing if it is ignored now. Last night I had it when I pulled up on to the drive - it was a celebratory craving (work has been pretty intense over the last two weeks but the last hurdle for a while has been passed so back to normal for a bit). I've just realised I must've forgotten about it by 10 minutes later.

I've got a long awaited day off today (I have one once a fortnight but had to work the last one), so I'm looking forward to catching a few things up at home that I've let slip and thinking ahead to how I will level up a bit in 'fast February'.

I'm going to have to worry about March when I get there - I've now got three weekends away booked in for various events/parties. Hopefully, being sober throughout January and February will make it all seem like less of a big deal when I get there and I'll have zero interest in drinking.

@Pollypower Sorry! Just read back my last post to myself and it doesn't read how I wanted it too at all. I can understand why you're torn (regardless of the alcohol) - it's tricky deciding what to turn down and what not to. I definitely don't always get it right! Have you decided what to do?

On the forever questions I'm thinking not to think about it. Like I didn't decide that I'm going to drink alcohol forever, I just did it on a day to day basis. So I'm working on the basis that I'm not drinking now and into the short term future. Tricking my brain into a day by day scenario. It is so eye opening to me though how normalised alcohol is in everything now that I'm not drinking. I heard a radio discussion about alcohol free options 'for example if people are pregnant or driving' like that's the only reason. And an article about breastfeeding and mums not drinking referencing 'getting back to normal' with alcohol. I'm doing a daily yoga program and my intention is to 'consciously choose' more, whether alcohol, food etc (seriously struggling with the phone on that one though!). And I think if I consciously choose foe today, then I choose sobriety. For weekends away, can you steer the agenda so it's not going to be just sitting around drinking? Even if there's some sort of available activity it'll break it up and make it easier.

I have decided to go. I am getting married abroad this year and this friend is coming so I feel I owe it. I wkll
stock up on AF drinks.

Ah, yes, that does change things a bit!

Oh dear I'm doing some wonderful name change fails here! I was keeping Coppergate for on here and Leadbridge for elsewhere. Now I seems to have Copperbridge and Leadgate too 😂. Might need to re-think this, and I can't blame it on the wine now either...

Those events/weekends/holidays with boozy mates are my most problematic issues too.

I’ve told my closest group that I won’t be drinking for three months for health reasons. They seem supportive, but I resent the fact I will be seen as the poor bitch who had a problem and had to quit, rather than as the trail blazing insightful one who has the strength to see alcohol for the poison it is etc.

Sorry, probably rambling! Off to do some work, which is definitely easier hangover free.

Day 27 and dare I say waking up today my skin was quite possibly glowing. The spots have receded and my tone is more even. I think maybe even my red nose looks a bit more normal.

It’s so nice being able to chat to people in the morning without having to worry about whether I stink of wine, or wondering if they know I was drinking last night.

I’ve got over my foul mood and despite that I’ve managed to stay productive this week. I’ve done a couple of exercise classes and tomorrow morning I’m going to celebrate Dry Jan with an early morning hike. I’m not even kidding. Mostly because there’s no way on earth I could have done that if I’d had a bottle of wine the night before. It’s just a morning out for me to reflect on how the month has gone.

The only area I’ve fallen down on has been diet. I’m pretty certain I’ve regained those two pounds but if I end the month at the same weight I started I’ll actually be pretty happy.

My February Focus: Cut down on screen time in the evenings and try and get to bed slightly earlier.

@Wantmyownbed what a way to celebrate! Belated Happy Birthday
@HappyHealthy23 I’m also still having problems using the site, I’ve started to type my posts in word and c&p them in!
@rothbury that was a brave decision to tell them that and hopefully it means they will at least respect your choice. I keep thinking about my poor friend who couldn’t imagine a future without alcohol. To be that addicted/dependant that she just couldn’t stop, regardless of support or understanding. At this moment I can’t think of anything positive alcohol brought to my life.

i had a fleeting thought that I really want a drink this weekend. I’m feeling bored and fed up and a little down and thought “oh why don’t I cheer myself with a wine”. After pushing myself well out of comfort zone last week by going to a party and driving, I now feel like giving it up and not even making it through dry Jan!

I talked myself out of it but I did feel myself perking up at the thought of a drink. I’m struggling to give myself a pick me up sober…… any tips.

How are we all feeling about the weekend?

@HappyHealthy23 I'm chuckling to myself thinking of you leaping around to Gloria - it's in my head now! I'm irritatingly chipper today again :-)

@WithFlamingLocksOfAuburnHair that makes so much sense what you say about actively deciding to drink alcohol forever. I will try and remember that. I realised myself earlier that one of my stressors is exactly the same at 8am and 5pm. I would never DREAM of drinking at 8am yet the exact same thing at 5pm I make it a reason?! Interesting!

@rothbury you never know what they might be thinking about you deep down; it might make them reflect on their own habits, or they might just be thinking about everything they have going on in their own heads. I'm glad they seem supportive.

@NoTimeForWine yes I think I have the Glow here too! Whoop! No weight loss here either but I'm just going to focus on keeping sober for now. So jealous of your hike - enjoy!

@pollypower I'm finding listening to podcasts and reading quit lit really helpful. Ones that resonate for me are Sober Awkward and Sassysobermum. Books I'm enjoying are Mrs D goes without & Mrs D goes within. Go for a walk, keep hydrated (this helps as you're not thirsty!)
Remember HALTT (Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Thirsty?)

Feeling good about the weekend, it helps I feel like absolute crap already so I don't intend on making myself feel any worse.

Had my first sober work trip away this week & feel so much better now I've done it & know I can do it.

Although I slept just as awful as I do when I've drank in a hotel!

@Pollypower I agree you should try some of the quit lit available. I think I have read most, but got Allen Carr and Alcohol Explained 2 on order.

Start with William Porter Alcohol Explained. Or This Naked Mind.

It really helps because you see just how the marketing around alcohol is selling a lie. I think of it like cigarettes. I don’t miss smoking at all and you’d have to pay me £100000 to make me smoke one as I would probably retch. But I used to get through 20 a day easily, and found it so hard to quit.

Alcohol is the same as nicotine or any other addictive drug.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Thanks all. Instead of driving to do the school run I put some earphones in and listened to a podcast. I like sassy sober mum and over the influence. Any other recommendations?

ive listened to the audiobook for alcohol explained and quit like a woman but feel like physically reading will help as I just couldn’t get into them.

Wow listened to the sober awkward podcast the latest one on parenting. I resonate a lot

That's certainly a milestone @onelife22 - a work trip sober.

Sorry you're feel ill though! Hope you feel much better this weekend after some proper rest.

I'm going to start putting my February focus (improving diet/eating patterns - sketchy on the details at the moment) into action this weekend so hopefully I'll start to see evidence of glowing skin soo too...

Checking in Day 30, whoop! No glowing skin here I’m afraid, but I’m doing ok otherwise. Still making up some of the calories I’d have previously consumed in wine with chocolate, but I’ll work on that. Have a great weekend everyone!

Loving the Sober Awkward podcast! Great recent one on moderation (and why it won't work) perfect timing for me. Had an event yesterday with people I only kind of know and there was some free time after, which turned into an impromptu trip to the pub. I had a real pang of wanting to be one of the gang and the social anxiety relaxing impact of having a drink, but I didn't and it was fine and I still had fun and was so happy to wake up feeling great this morning.

Parenting Hell is brilliant!