The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Woo hoo on day 100@DeedIDo

And congratulations on 7 months @SavBbunny

We are smashing all these milestones? Although I know we are all aware that every milestone started with a day 1 (I'd done a gazillion day 1's). Everyday without a drink is a positive. Some people have blips but they come back stronger and more determined. Others - like me - just find a way to not drink until it becomes the new normality [I was going to say the new normal but stopped myself)

I'm going to see the 6 month mark very soon. It's unbelievable.... in a good way.

@Breathmiller 2years!! Yikes that’s a looong time!
as always a good post from you.
well done @DeedIDo @SavBbunny and any other milestones l have missed
welcome newbies good to hear from you.

checking in

Hi All,

You are all smashing your days, it's great to read / see!

Having trouble sleeping and I must admit I'm struggling a bit. The looming holiday is really stressing me out which I realise probably sounds ridiculous. As I'm on 'countdown' with work, I'm also getting quite stressed with what I need completing before I break up. Got my F2F counselling session on Thursday which I'm looking forward to but also quite nervous about. I honestly used to think I could handle stress ok but I certainly need to look at other ways here.

Sorry to hear that @Crayonpenny - hope you got some sleep in the end. Maybe take the pressure off yourself about the holiday? I had the same issue in the run up to mine, but once was in it, I was just doing it one day at a time, as per usual, and it was ok.

I can’t remember how long you’ve been sober, sorry, but if you’re anything like me in the early days, the idea of going without alcohol “forever” seemed ridiculous and scary. I still have mixed emotions about milestones for the same reason. I think holidays are the same - it seems impossible until you do it

Morning all.
The heat is building here in the south already. I have taken to sleeping in DHs vests. Look like Rab C Nesbit!
Weird thing I hear nothing at night and I would have said I was a light sleeper. Just shows you how much alcohol cocks up your health.

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife I think my sleep was mostly patchy and I'm certainly going to be counting down the hours until I can log off. I feel like I'm on a perpetual day 1 and yes it is a bit scary after so long.

I fee a bit better after a little more shut eye however I have decided to look up support offerings through my work to see what options are available to manage stress as it's a bit consuming at times.

Ditto to it being hot up North. 25 degrees is going to be fun today!

Totally agree with @Onewildandpreciouslife "forever" was a terrifying prospect and I'm still a little uncomfortable saying it out loud (although I'm committed to complete sobriety now. Nothing else will work)

Holidays are very triggering. I've just done 10 days in a cottage we go to every year. I've been there 4 times before as a drinker so going sober was daunting. Especially given I was away with 3 young children and my MIL 😂

I found the first few days difficult, I won't lie. I didn't want to drink but I was angry and pissed off because I couldn't drink. We went to a beautiful restaurant overlooking the sea on our second night and I was internally livid. I had sat in the same restaurant many times with a glass of my beloved rioja and this time I couldn't? It was a mix of emotions and I was scared I'd actually ruin the holiday. The good news is I did really mellow into it all and ended up having such a present and involved holiday. We did loads (lots of walks that we'd never done before as I'd been too hungover). We also went back to said restaurant on the last night and I felt much more calm and at peace.

I feel like I've managed a massive milestone and came out on top. I'm sure you can do the same @Crayonpenny

Top tip is leave the kids and MIL at home 🤣 (just kidding)

I made sure we had AF alternatives in. I'm a fan of AF beer and I made sure anywhere we ate out had something decent I could drink (and a good dessert so I felt like had a "treat")

You've got this.

Not looking forward to this week @SavBbunny as we're in Central London and its going to be mid 30's. We'll all be tired and cranky and hot. Makes me feel quite ill that I'd still be be able to polish off a bottle of heavy red in such hot weather. I'll be sticking to rose lemonade with ice this heatwave

@Crunchymum funny thing I can't say forever. If I did I think I would lose more friends! I say I am not drinking at the moment.
My immediate family are delighted I don't drink anymore, my friends not. I have gone passed the evangelical stage. Occasionally I get asked if I have been out on the razz however when I say no, they are very quiet. I just don't talk about it.

Well done @Crunchymum for making the most of that holiday!!!

I was never able to commit to “forever”, that took a really long time (more than a year even?). However now I love the thought of forever🙂 It is the thought that I might start drinking again at some point that scares me, not the thought that I am sober forever.

@Crunchymum Your holiday sounds lovely. What you describe is how I feel, I guess I need to prepare in advance so I'm not caught out and I like the idea of taking it day by day. The place we are going to is also a repeat place when I was drinking so I think that's why I'm struggling a bit with my thoughts. I need to power through!!! I think small goals are going to help as well. Haha I don't think I could face the evening entertainment without kids!!

Congratulations to everyone who is smashing those milestones!

@SavBbunny string vest?😅

@Crunchymum you did amazingly well holiday wise. Bloody well done.

@Crayonpenny you can do it.

I have discovered Heinekin zero. At last an AF drink I like! Although the M&S botanical gin thing is growing on me.

Lovely and hot here in my part of the world. Have a great day all.😎

hassletassle
On the subject of how do I relax..i understand that need to wind down and that wine feels like it gives you that. It's that ...ahhh, moment at the end of a hard day or week. I found that really hard too. How on earth did I "let go" . I replaced booze with treat foods for a while, just while I transitioned away from alcohol. And now, i have better ways. I drink tea which sounds crap at the beginning but I do really get that same feeling when i sit down with a cuppa. That..."aaaand relax" feeling. It makes me smile how often i say "ahhh..i love a cup of tea". My granny didn't drink and she always said that about her sit down and cuppa.

I have other things too in the evenings. I go upstairs and read a book. Or I go for a little walk. Or I put on a film or a programme i fancy. To begin with the association was difficult in front of the telly, still can be with crisps and snacks so if that's the case I go somewhere else. The bedroom to read or do an online jigsaw while listening to podcadsts. The bathroom to have a shower or a bath. I go do my nails or give my feet a pamper with moisturising socks. I talk to my family, play a board game in my son's roon with him. Or I do it but with an AF drink.

It does seem hard to begin with but I realise now that these things give me a much more long lasting relaxation than alcohol. The wine was a quick fix with a longer lasting problem to fix. It really is just habit.

For those worried about the word forever. Forever is just made up of a long line of nows. Just focus on now. I definitely had in my mind I would like it to be forever but it also frightened me. But, i could cope with today. "Today I will not drink. I will deal with tomorrow when it comes." was a bit of a mantra

I loved that thought bunnies. you are right and wise as ever. The thought* *of starting again is much scarier than the thought of not drinking. Not drinking seems easy now. The easier option.

And as drybird said so well. There is something that I can't quite put into words that is better now. A lightness of spirit (ha! - the soul kind not the alcohol kind). An ease. A balance. A softness. Space. Compassion. A sense of liking myself much more. A sense of being me. One of the regulars on here has the name 100percentme. That's how I feel much more now. I was selling myself short before. I was less than with alcohol in my life. I'm not missing anything. I'm more!

Thanks all. I feel like I've had a little pep talk which was much appreciated and needed. 😊

Just popped outside and it is warm! Not quite sure I'm prepared for camping in this heat at the weekend!

Hi everyone, I'm in the very early days of not drinking. I gave up a while ago, messed up and then really committed this time. The only thing is I feel awful both mentally and physically.

I know these things take time but does anyone have any tips to boost my health a bit quickly. It feels like the better I did with giving up the worse I've felt, it's rare for me to have a good day at the moment.

I'm too ill to walk round the block today or even feel safe going outside.

Hi @bulbnation I've found that barocca (vitamin D enriched) has helped me plus a reasonable amount of sugar as my body was still craving this. I've had a good few blips but now feeling stronger, especially backed by this group.

Thanks @Crayonpenny I'm glad you're doing well. I've read some interesting things on this thread today. I'll order in some of those vitamins tonight, the sugar element keeps slipping my mind for some reason.

Thanks so much @Breathmiller

Welcome bulbnation. sorry you're* *feeling so low. I take a multi vitamin, mine is for menopause but you might have a better one to take.

Can you make sure you do 3 things today that are based in self care? Or tomorrow if it feels too late today. A shower or a bath. A meal that is healthy and filling. Some water. Go back to basics if it all feels too much. When i have been in the depths of depression and getting out of bed was a challenge I read about doing 3 things. Wash your face if a shower feels too much. Make the bed (even if some days i just got back on top of the covers). Brush your teeth. Have one piece of fruit. What 3 things would feel doable?

A few threads ago we all talked about our toolbox. What do you have in your toolbox for self care? I find that really useful.

@bulbnation I would second the vitamin upping.
By day 100 I felt totally different. In the first few weeks I was in bed by 8.30pm.
Alcohol is both a stimulant and depressive. So many years of alcohol induced sleep means we need to relearn how to drop off and not get up. I can now sleep anywhere and even just had a siesta!
Be gentle with yourself, alcohol dependancy is an illness.
Personally I now tell people it makes me ill and that means booze doesn't get pushed on me.
I use fruit to replace the kick of alcohol. I treat myself to mangos and pineapples etc. I still save money.

Welcome @bulbnation. Sorry you’re feeling unwell, I felt the same to start with, both mentally and physically. Drinking water, taking multivits and going to bed super early helped me. But what you really need is time and self compassion, and lots of it. If you stick to a booze free life you’ll start to feel better soon, bit by bit. The first bit is rough though. Stick around here for a chat. No one will be telling you to do stuff you’re not ready to do like go outside or exercise or some crazy shit like that😂 You can share as much or as little as you like here. I mostly had “bad” days around the time I quit, then slowly I started having more good days and now I mostly have good days🙂 Quitting booze isn’t a magic fix but it helps so much. Keep going.

Thank you for the welcomes everyone (and sorry for disappearing after two posts!) and congratulations to all of the posters hitting big milestones.

I'm on day 10 today (or day 16 out of 18 if I'm feeling generous) and had my first real craving, however remembering that there are no benefits to alcohol (and drinking a bottle of the Heineken 0% beer) has got me through it. Going to go and read some quit lit to remind myself of why I'm doing this. Although reading through the thread has helped immeasurably already🙂

Also the sleep thing... I thought quitting had instantly cured my insomnia as I slept like a baby from nights 2-7. However it's now back with a bloody vengeance and I don't seem to be getting any restful sleep. I know it will probably improve again in a couple of weeks, but it's making me feel resentful right now!

Hi Everyone,

@thepurplepenguin I found myself like that last night but I think the heat certainly didn't help. I ended up doing Amazon shopping, rock and roll teeth whitening strips at 3.57.

It's already pretty hot here. Hope everyone is going ok.

Good morning lovelies,

Warm here already which isn't good for sleep. Made a decision to buy a smaller house and perhaps retire? Off cottage sclooking tomorrow. I am going to treat myself to a health club membership next month. I intend to swim every day. I was a bit of a looker before the booze and grub got me. Perhaps it will help with my MH too.

Too hot for any faux drinks last night. I had milk.
I am off out with my BF (she who dared to tell me I had no chance of wls with the amount I drank) Always good for moral support.

Hi everyone, I'm on day 5. I previously stopped for a year, then thought I could manage moderating, and eight months on here we are again.

It's a little easier than first time as I don't have the fear of wondering how I will manage without alcohol, but I'm still struggling with sleep, cravings etc.

Oh well, back on the wagon 😁 In some ways I feel a lot better already, although I woke this morning feeling terrible. Have to give my body time to adjust.

Morning all
savbbunny You sound* *like you are moving towards something quite different.

Welcome clownsontheleft. it's* *always interesting to see people coming on here in your exact circumstances. It serves as a reminder to me anyway that that little voice that sometimes emerges that I can probably moderate is lying. I did the same as you. Had 18 months off then thought i could moderate and then about a year later realised that wasn't a possibility. I found it a lot easier this time round. It was an easier decision for one and i knew I could do day to day.

Welcome.