The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Morning all.
Another bad back here.
@Namechanged12344 thank you for thinking of me. I am enjoying being home. My last two jobs have been high stakes and it has taken its toll. I looked at a photo of me from October last year and I am a mess. I had been on steroids for my eyes, add in the amount of booze I was drinking I look like Jabba the Hut!
I don't have a garden at the moment but I intend to go a bit Tom and Barbara when I do.

I don't have a husband who drinks or indeed my adult children. They grew up watching me make a fool of myself on many, many occasions. I have said a few apologies lately. I was never one to black out and I have a huge memory (phone numbers, bank details etc). Everytime I went on a night out there was a story to tell. Some funny, mostly not. I look back with regret for my children's childhoods but we cannot change the past only make a better future. The lady with the bottles was me at the corner shop. Some old timers may remember when I went into the shop and forgot to cruise the booze Isle! Two months in I think?

Be positive about the small wins, we all have the capacity for change. Make today a sober day. X

Morning all

Back is a little better, i can make it from the bed to the loo to the chair with two sticks biw and minimal help. This has been a humdinger this time. Got sports massage this afternoon which will hopefully mean I can work for the next 5 days.

rockbottombird you sound so positive about your life and all the potential after such a difficult time, it truly is amazing to hear.

namechanged try not to focus on anyone but yourself. Don't compare with anyone on here and as hard as it is dont focus on your partner's drinking. I too wnated my dh to stop with me but he didn't. In fact he struggled with me stopping at the beginning which didn't help. Once I stopped worrying about anyone else, their opnion of me stopping, or if they were doing better than me or whether they should stop ,it was really freeing. I only had myself to worry about and I can be in a lot more control of what I think and do rather than worrying what anyone else thinks or does. I think as partner and mother to kids for many years I had been a bit hard wired to not put myself and my opinions first. I just had to work on myself, everyone else could do and think what they like.

It was quite hard as my dh was my drinking buddy and that was a difficult shift in both our lives. But, i couldn't keep drinking for everyone else, either as a buddy for dh or to fulfill some image that everyone had of me.

Obligatory apology for my constant lack of proof reading and typos 🥴

You’re definitely not a failure @Namechanged12344. All we can do is try. I tried to quit and moderate many times before I managed it. I often wonder whether the crucial factor to my eventual success is this lovely thread🙂 Keep trying, it will stick eventually.
Your mental and physical health will no doubt improve with time when you quit. I hadn’t realised quite what a bad place I was in physically and mentally until I started feeling so much better! I was a mess.

@Breathmiller I hope the sports massage helps for you, it must be very difficult being injured in your line of work!

@SavBbunny wise words from you as always. You sound very grounded at the moment which is enviable!

Sorry if I skipped anyone, this tiny phone screen makes for terrible thread reading!

This is day 2 for me. Feeling grotty. Drank so much wine over last few years. Any excuse and I'd pour the wine and always dip into a second bottle. My plan is a weekly treat with all the money I would spend on buggery wine..

Morning all.
Cooler here.
On the steroids for RA flare. Will look like the Cheshire Cat next week.
@bellalou1234 welcome.
I was a 'Two bottle Tixcy'.
Some find the first few weeks the hardest. Use it to get plenty of sleep.

Morning all, day 11 🤩

@Breathmiller I hope the massage helped you yesterday.! Thank you all for your positive vibes it's certainly helping. How you doing @Namechanged12344? One day at a time, little steps reap great rewards.

My journaling is definitely helping. I seem to have a lot of stuff stuck inside my head and it's a way of letting it out. I can only assume the wine intake was to keep a lid on it. If I have a wobble I can always read back, that in itself is enough to stop me buying bloody wine! Very uncertain times for me and the children, but I refuse to sit and cry about it. Yesterday evening we made a takeaway Chinese and played rummikub! The simple things in life bring the most joy.

Have a wonderful Wednesday all xx

@bellalou1234 my apologies, welcome! 🥰

Thanks everyone for the well wishes, the massage helped a little but it turns out I have popped out my SI joint, basically put my pelvis out of alignment and itmay be pressing on a nerve possibly a disc. Very painful and I will nred to find an appointment with an osteopath or physio to get it popped back in. Meanwhile I have had to cancel my work this week. At least I have an idea what to do and what not to do to help.

Sorry to hear you have a flare up savb. My sister has RA and it's not fun. I have to take steroids for my asthma some times and by day 5 I'm all a jitter but at least I get on with a lot of jobs, i seem to go at double speed and talk like I've had 10 double espressos. Not so much fun when they stop though.

Welcome bellalou1234 just one day at a time at this stage. It will get easier, just keep plodding on day day, hour by hour, minute by minute at the moment. There will come a moment when you realise it hadn't crossed your mind for a minute, then an hour, then a witching hour (this is the best one i think) , then a day! And that's when you see the potential that you too can do this. And you can! If I can you can. I was a 2 bottle of wine a day gal (and the rest) and that wasn't including the weekly (at least) binges as well as recreational drug taking in my past. Now over 2 years sober.

Like bunnies I credit my long term sobriety this time on this thread. Not only that, I feel I have made friends, people I can check in with every day if need be about things not always directly related to drinking. People I care about how they feel and love hearing their insights into not drinking in particular and life in general. It's like a massive bunch of cheerleaders where we just support each other with wise words, laughter and care. That isn't to be taken lightly. I am very grateful.

rockbottombird I love your posts. You are so right, these little things of daily normal life are to be celebrated! These are the things that keep us going. I love nothing more than a drama free life these days.

It's my son's birthday today. 19. He's had a few troubles the last few years but seems to be in a better place. We are going to have a quiet day , enjoy a nice coffee together and some food. Just hanging out as a family, that's the best thing ever. We did have a celebratory meal at the weekend and it wasn't in any way less than because I wasn't drinking.

We often have a question that we all try to answer or to keep in mind for a few days. We've had "what's in your tool box, what do you have in your reclaimed wine glass" and others

Maybe we could have ..
"What simple pleasures are you enjoying at the moment?

Mine is...

When I sit at my kitchen table I love seeing the greenery outside through the windows, it is lush. We live on a farm and the garden just seems to be a cacophony of green at the moment with the fields and hills behind. I've lived here 11 years after being a city girl or townie my whole life and I never tire of the view. When I can move, I will go sit there with my coffee and be very grateful.

What simple thing gives you pleasure today?

Welcome @bellalou1234!

Sorry to hear about the flare up @SavBbunny and that you’re still in pain @Breathmiller. Hope you both feel better soon.

Love the thought of simple pleasures @Breathmiller!!! (Sounds like we have some in common as I enjoy the combination of coffee and nature too😁) In fact it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot. I try and focus on simple pleasures when I find life a bit overwhelming. It sounds so naff but I find it really helps and that with practice you get better at noticing and appreciating them!

Some it my favourite simple pleasures are:

• Enjoying a nice morning coffee in peace (I’ve started setting my alarm crazy early so I can enjoy this before everyone else wakes!)


• Looking at the sky, especially when there are nice clouds


• Smelling and stroking my youngest daughter’s hair when she’s just had a bath

That last one probably sounds proper weird😂😂😂 And maybe doesn’t fit the list as children are big pleasures (well, on some days😂😂😂) than small ones but we’ve been through some tough times with her (health wise) so sometimes I take pleasure just being in her company, not doing anything special with her.

Being able to help joy small pleasures is one of the greatest gifts of sobriety. Towards the end of my drinking days life felt so joyless. I now (on a good day) often notice the simple pleasures and feel grateful🙂

What a lovely post @BunniesBunniesBunnies

I was struck by the thought this morning that I couldn’t remember the last time I cried. When I was at my lowest last year, I was crying every day. Just over 5 months sober now

Morning all.
Up far too early as the steroids are making me hot. Lady of a certain age too!
We haven't managed to agree the new house as the sellers wanted to retain a garage attached to the house No point in buying without this as we have an old soft top car. Just weird. Usually I would have been raging and on the booze. Like others have said taking the time to think about problems instead of burying them is helping. I was famous for writing angry letters when pissed. Caused a few issues 😁
Paperwork today but at least without a splitting headache.
Have a peaceful, sober day my friends.

Sorry to hear about the house savb does that mean you wre back house hunting? Or is there potential they may change their mind about the garage?

Well done on your 5+ months onewildandpreciouslife funny how you don't notice some changes until one day it hits you.

I'm also a 'woman of a certain age' savb and the main difference I felt was the almost instant stopping of the anxious dread that I woke up with, either in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. If I am left to my own devices (looking at you noisy wailing cat and sleep walking DS) then I pretty much go to sleep at a decent time and sleep right through til morning. I was really starting to get terrible night's sleep and put it down to menopause. But it stopped almost as soon as I stopped drinking.

@Onewildandpreciouslife so so so true about the crying! I’m pretty sure I used to cry daily! I do still cry occasionally but (this is going to sound weird😂😂😂) it’s a much better kind of crying - I allow myself to sit with my feelings and process them. Rather than the tears of absolute frustration and desperation when I still drank. But yes, much less crying on the whole!

Sorry about the house @SavBbunny, that sounds very frustrating!

Hello everyone

I’m over a year sober now. I didn’t know I could do two days.

change is possible x

@Breathmiller I think we have a few options. The agent has just written re the house however I might buy a retirement house (not as in cabbage and matron) but not near London and let it out until we are ready to a friend. I saw one a few weeks ago. Truly beautiful and restored late 18th century town house. Near to where DH and I had our first cottage. It is funny how I wouldn't have considered it when I was boozing. However one lady friend has moved counties the other I have not seen once since February. I have not hosted free wine lunches! My other friends can drink then leave it. I couldn't really. The also seemed not to be so effected.
@Onewildandpreciouslife I have always been a howler. However it took me a fair few days to blub when I lost my job recently. I have reflected on the role and company and I think they were very deceitful and I was too trusting. Not something that would have made me happy in the long term.
@LovinglifeAF big congrats.

@Breathmiller just delurking to commiserate with you re SI joint. Mine "goes" every now and then and it is effing agony and leaves me unable to sit down for more than a few minutes as when I get up I can barely walk. It is horrible. I hope you feel better soon. Xx

Thanks lydialurk sorry you get this too. Yes, it is so painful to sit down but difficult to walk with my right side out of place.

Sounds like it's time for some big changes savb.

Huge congratulations on your year soberversary lovingLifeAF (great name)

Huge congrats to you @LovinglifeAF, that’s a massive milestone! Well done!

Hi checking in, day 12. I'm Ok but it's been a bit overwhelming today 🥴

Well done @LovinglifeAF that's amazing!

I'll be back more positive tomorrow hopefully 🙏 sending love to you all xx

Great work @rockbottombird, nearly at 2 weeks! Being overwhelmed I think is a normal part of life (I hope😂), though I have noticed I get overwhelmed less often as my sobriety goes on. Still up shit creek without a paddle many days but I’m calmer and less anxious now so able to cope better.
You’re doing great, just keep going

Week 17. Hi veterans and newbies. This thread is great and like others have said, I don’t think I could have got this far without you all!

Its amazing that way back when I first quit, the thought of quitting forever or even a weekend was incomprehensible and seemed impossible. How was I going to cope without the booze? It seems I have coped relatively fine. I’m very aware of not getting too smug or complacent though. The wine witch still mutters in my ear and tries to convince me it’s ok to drink again. I mean why not? Life is short and all that.

Thats exactly why I’m staying stopped. Life is too short to be buried under that fog and feeling subhuman most of the time.

My brain finds the name checking thing challenging🙃So I stopped doing it.
I do read all the thread and read through your ups and downs. Celebrating and commiserating along with you.

My dh had his 60th and we had a few people over. They all asked me what to get him. What kind of wine or beer? He said to ask them not to bring booze. I said he was taking a break. This is more motivation to remain af now we’ve told more people. It was a day time event and the majority were driving. One bottle of fizzy stuff (given to us ages ago) was opened and shared between about 6!

Everyone was very supportive and congratulated us on our sobriety. Changed days as most of these people were our partying buddies. They know and we’re part of a lot of the embarrassing stories.

Morning all.
Checking in and hoping to get through 'ah f*ck it Friday'. Twas my big drinking night. I always feel better come Saturday morning and I have survived another hurdle.
Lots of shenanigans on the house front. A cold wind is coming and people are sitting on their hands around here. Not seeing any advertised reductions but quite a few phone calls to see if we are interested in things that are now re available. Hopefully they didn't fail the surveys!
I need a new hobby to replace the booze and I am prioritising gardening. We have been without a garden for 18 months and it has been tough. I can't do much exercise due to the RA but I might join the health club to swim. My counselling has gone on hold as my therapist has had a bereavement. I felt a bit rudderless this last two weeks without her non bias advice.
Son due home next week for dd birthday. I am seeing her flourish without me drinking (she had a lot of trouble with schools). I used drink to blot out the worry. Funny how neither of them drink. Ditto for my niece and nephew. Perhaps it is becoming less fashionable?

Morning all, thanks @SavBbunny for that post about hobby instead of drinking I bloody need that. House is a mess, I'm not in a good way guys and really need help I'm spiralling and I can't seem to stop it. Every day there's an excuse and I'm scared now. I'm functioning but I feel it's dangerous now. I'm so so scared and feel really bad. I don't know what to do! Didn't sleep all night thinking I'm such a bad mum and an alcoholic. I just downloaded the try dry app. I can't even think to read quit lit right now, partner doesn't know I'm putting it away I'm hiding stuff again etc please help me!

@Namechanged12344 good morning. Do you feel you need to talk to someone? AA will answer. They don't know you and won't judge. I have called them before and they helpful. I think they are 24/7.
I suspect many drinkers hide their empties. I did. Talk to your partner, they may be aware but feel helpless. My husband did. I was an absolute cow to him. He was no fun, no help, a kill joy, blah blah. All the words of a poor soul locked in a shameful addiction.
Very few people can beat this disease without help. Please try to speak to someone today. I will be thinking of you.