The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@BunniesBunniesBunnies Sorry to hear that, hope your day improves as it goes on. Completely get the looking after reference, sometimes it just relentless isn't it.

@Onewildandpreciouslife Congrats for your DD! I was listening today about how grazings have been adjusted given the last couple of years so super result!

bunnies I'm so sorry you have this to deal with. Is it a case of just batting down the hatches and ploughing through it til it passes again? Or is there potential to get some counselling of some description to help it not return as badly in future years? Sometimes it's useful to talk it out with a therapist of some kind many years after when you are looking at it from a different perspective. I'm so glad that you recognise that alcohol won't help. I was the same with my tricky week. Rather than it being a battle not to drink to deal with shitty feelings, I was actually relieved that I don't drink. What a turnaround.

I feel like a weight has been lifted, I have had a lightbulb moment about my family and I feel so free of all the crap that came with it all. I feel i have healed my younger self. And i couldn't have done that when i was drinking. I drowned out all the uncomfortable feelings so I didn't have to deal with them. Turns out dealing with them helps to transform them. Quite a revelation. I have spent my life pushing them down with alcohol (and food) and then they resurface again and again with the added anxiety from the alcohol on top. No more!!

Anyone thinking of stopping or at the beginning and finding it hard - it is hard! But so, so worth it. It's like I have released years of hurt and trauma and pain. I can see things clearly now, not through the fog of shame, self hatred and regret.

Life can be hard, being human can be hard. But i am experiencing it all properly now. Dealing with the difficult bits with a clearer mind and able to enjoy the good bits much more now that I'm present for them.

Sending you a big squeege bunnies . You are such a wonderful support on here and I hate to hear your distress, so time to take some of that support back. We are here for you to offload to.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies thinking of you. A big virtual hug. X

Thanks for your kind words it means a lot.
I’ve tried all the therapy in the world for this one @Breathmiller, to no avail😅 (well, I’m sure it helped a bit just to talk about it). Funnily the biggest difference to my mental health was made by quitting booze. That, and exercise. I am in such a better place than I used to be but occasionally it still catches me off guard. Anniversaries are especially hard. So I will grab hold of my coping mechanisms (sleep, time spent outdoor, good food and lots of water) and sit this one out. But yeah it’s hard being a human sometimes!

So glad a weight has lifted for you @Breathmiller. Sometimes we need to go through difficult times to process stuff and revisit difficult things, it is healing (if hard).

Forgiving your (past) self is the hardest thing somehow. Well, it is for me. Self compassion is a work in progress.

Forgiving your (past) self is the hardest thing somehow. Well, it is for me. Self compassion is a work in progress.

Yes, to this. I've done a lot of work on forgiving my past self and it is so useful. I suppose the difference with this situation is that I realise i don't need to forgive myself as much as I thought. Turned out I was doing okay, I just was not understood or loved or supported by the arseholes who called themselves family people around me who were also dealing with trauma. What a lightbulb moment.

I can say "14 year old breathmiller - you were okay, actually" and it makes me (and her) smile.

That’s so true @Breathmiller. I’m feeling a little lighter today. Thanks all for listening to me yesterday, it means a lot.

Good morning all, checking in.

So pleased to hear you feel lighter today bunnies. And glad you could talk here yesterday, it does help doesn't it?
Keep taking each day as it comes and be compassionate with yourself.

Good morning all, checking in on day 6 🙌 feeling good today. Happy Friday to you all x

Good morning everyone. Have a safe and sober weekend.

Day 111

Morning all. congrats @rockbottombird 7 days today, the first few weeks are the hardest.
I tried a small experiment last night to see if I wanted a second very large faux gin. I didn't, so there must be something in the taste versus waste argument upthread. Had it been the grape I would have ploughed on until I finished the bottle.
Lots of roller-coaster moments this week and my therapist is on leave but I have managed. Friday is my danger day and that has passed, hoorah.
House news next week so something to look forward to.
Be sober safe my friends.

Morning all, thank you for the new thread I've clearly been off grid but I really really want to start again. I'm going to start reading whole thread. Thanks for being here and hope you all have a great weekend.

Happy 1 week today rockbottombird.

welcome back namechanged.

savB I have tins of G&T or a bottle of cider I very rarely have more than one. Last night I opened a second tin and didn't finish it. It must be the alcohol not the taste. And I have just realised that's what those that can moderate are like with alcohol. They have one, enjoy it then have no need for another. I wonder why there are those of us that once started on alcohol cannot seem to to stop.

Morning all 7 days 🤩 I'm so happy I have tears in my eyes typing this. I can't remember the last time I went a full week with no wine. It's been such an incredibly tough week. Me and the children are miles from home in temporary accommodation with just the bare basics to keep us going and it would have been so easy to just drink to try and forget all this awfulness but I didn't!! I'm trying to focus on little steps day but day, keeping positive for the children is the most important thing, doing that with a clear head is fabulous. Thank you for all the mentions, it means a lot to know I have people out there cheering me on. Happy weekend all xx

Goodness I didn't realise that life was as tough as it is for you right now. That makes your week not drinking even more of an activity. I do hope things ease for you and your DC you soon. It certainly won't be made easier by drinking, that's a bit of a revelation i have had over the last two years. Difficult situations drove me to drinking but it turns out that even the most difficult of situations are much easier to handle without the fog of alcohol and hangovers.

And *achievement not activity

@rockbottombird I salute you. It is much easier to think straight without booze. Hopefully everything will get easier.
@Breathmiller I never eat a whole anything (even though I am fat). I was an athlete. Don't like chocolate, sweets or junk food but booze made me eat crisps. Wedges of cheese. I now buy slices. MN negative but I don't care.

Just done the Marks run and I apologise all. The faux rum and coke is in a purple tin with bronze writing. It's called golden spirit.

@Namechanged12344 welcome back x

Super quick check in from a slightly fraught holiday…
sending strength to those going through stressful times - especially @Namechanged12344 , keep going, we all know booze will only compound the issues…

to those in the early days the things that I found helpful were podcasts in the bath with a lot of Epsom salts (most people are deficient in magnesium - aids sleep), fave podcast - sober awkward. Also a herbal nytol helps reset sleep. I second vitamins too.exercise is great (I was injured for months so have only just got back to it…

@Lago1 it’s so hard when your partner drinks, mine does heavily and frequently. I found watching the effects (with a mental commentary) helped.
after yet another heavy chat yesterday I discovered that my MIL & BIL have my back, both have told him to stop too (I am almost 8 months now). This has picked me up immmensely.

sober strength to all & sorry to not name check more folk, but thinking of you all x

Feeling great, first Saturday morning in a long time with a completely fresh mind. Went out for partners birthday last night and actually had a really great time for the first couple of hours until the alchohol took its full affect on him and others. It honestly has made me not want to go back to that, so boring and repetitive. I think after I have a longer period being AF myself, I may need to seek some support from the likes of Al-anon to try and help let go and not feel the need to try and fix partners problem, ive heard of the 3cs but it's still hard. Me and the kids are away tonight with (non drinking) friends so looking forward to that.
Happy Saturday everyone 😁xx

@AlbinoAxolotl thanks for letting me know you are in similar situation. How do you spend your evenings when he is heavily drinking? Do you still spend time together or take your self away?
I feel like until I have been sober longer, I'm not really one to speak so trying to focus just on me for now. From listening to podcasts/ reading I can see how deeper alchohol is entwined in his whole life than mine, so it would be incredibly difficult for him. Funnily enough despite me trying to not speak to much about alchohol, not wanting to come across as if I'm on my high horse after only a week sober, he has been speaking about it alchohol a lot, mostly in a defensive way (like he needs to protect alchohol as a whole), and then that depressive end of evening where he can admit alchohol is a problem in his life.

Yo yo yo, I’m back, still sober and passed my 6 month marker a couple of weeks ago! Been on holiday so not been posting. Including lots of flights and Long haul ones too. Not even a quiver! Feeling pretty proud of myself now. Dh didn’t drink much either as he was the named driver all the time despite me offering. Of 2.5 weeks in close contact with my teens and DH didn’t drive me to it I think I’m safe until the apocalypse! 🤣🤣🤣

Oh and sorry for not reading back, I will try and catch up tomorrow with all your news.

Check in on Day eight million (feels like).

Feeling a bit lonely.

@HangingOver dont be lonely, someone is always around. I can't count days anymore. Without your 'morning lads' the first few weeks would have been without humour for me. Your support and St Marion got me through. Chin my friend. @Fortheloveofgodwhy which character use to say this? Father Ted?

Had the Marks tinny, can't drink two. Too herby.