The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@LydiaLurk you can do it. I didn't think I could but I think I scared myself sober. Drinking myself to death is not a pretty way to go

@SavBbunny
I've tried anti redness creams etc. I've got sensitive skin. Last time I tried one.....it made my face even redder😂😩😩

Good for you spending on yourself on something to make you feel good.

Day 37. Tough tough day in work today. I’m still there and I must admit wine has crossed my mind … but I won’t … mostly because of this thread. I wish I didn’t have a desire for it but I know the desire will pass…

I can relate to waking up feeling a bit blah @Namechanged12344 i have some PMS right now & while it’s actually not as unbearable as usual (I get it bad: peri), I forgot how it can shift my perspective on everything. Giving up Alcohol doesn’t fix everything but I do usually feel worse than this … so it certainly helps

good for you @JesusSufferingFuck22 Enjoy the positive vibes.

to everyone else … have a nice Tuesday, going for a quick coffee now which helps I think.

Well done @Nouveaunew on 37 days! I love a good prime number. And well done on staying strong after a bad day.

Well done @Nouveaunew I am feeling you. I drank 3 AF beers after work!

Ha ha ha! I love a good prime number too @Blackberryblossom Good on you @Namechanged12344 alcohol FREE beer all the way!

Evening all.

@LydiaLurk - I'll be your sober Thursday date. I'm saving up watching Outlaws on catch up as something to look forward to later on Thursday but will check in beforehand for an AF aperitif & nibbles.

All going ok here - early days.

Hi @EileenFH well done for making plans for thursday! I used to know it was time so was prepping from the morning of when I could open that bottle it was exhausting thinking about drinking all of the time! Now I feel literally free. I don't know why I didn't stick to it before I think it was possibly my pride I don't know to be like nah I can do this I can moderate why not big mistake. Once I've learnt to accept this is my life now I think I'll be happier. I love that my sleep is uninterrupted these days it's making me feel to when I was a teenager again when I didn't drink (until I was 14 15). Someone mentioned counselling it does help I believe. The last time I had a stint I went to counselling and gave up whilst having sessions and the counsellor commented on how different I seemed when I bounced in after I stopped drinking. My sugar addiction seems to have taken over tho I had 3 of those ripples yesterday!!! Wth.

Morning all.
Counselling for me today. I use it to get stuff off my chest. I used to drink to think but that only delays the inevitable.
New job starts next week, hoorah.
@ChampooPapi are you OK? I know you had an assignment.
No Gordon's 0% as still a bit poorly re spider bite.

Morning all - hope I have done this right - its taking me blooming ages lol
@Nouveaunew – well done for taking a positive stand against the wine witch and going for a coffee instead.
I really felt for you on the day you joined.
You described my past hangovers within your description of your own and I am so, so delighted to see you well into your second month now – a second month!!
@Namechanged12344 – I am so pleased you got something from my thread yesterday morning.
That is exactly why I am posting.
Seriously well done on taking this step and switching your thought process.
Small victories add up to massive results.
@EileenFH and @LydialLurk – amazing positive attitudes from you lovely two.
So great to have a sober buddy on the same days as you.
I know the message is quite rightly one day at a time ODAAT but just allow yourself to think about how amazing you will feel on Monday by getting this first weekend under your belt.
You will never, ever have to experience that first weekend again!
We’re all with you.
You too @beargryllshasabigrope and @handsoffreturns are you both ok?
@JesusSufferingFuck22 – I can relate to everything you say.
Particularly the bickering with your husband.
Exactly the same is happening here, although I do believe it has got better recently.
My husband and I were drinking buddies for years.
It’s all we’ve known since we got together.
Yes, there were periods of moderation, (supposedly) not drinking in the week, etc but booze was a massive part of our lives, as it is for many couples.
Well done for recognising it six weeks in!
It’s taken me ages to work it out!
Anyway, that’s a whole new thread right there but I’ve taken the view that we need to be firstly very proud of this fresh start (and you two are on this journey together so double proud) and have faith that with a bit of patience and understanding that we can navigate whatever difficulties lie ahead.
So my peaceful start to the day has been scuppered so I hope to be back later.
I’m sorry if I have missed anyone.
Today I will not drink

@FortheloveofgodwhySavBbunny

Sorry phone being shit

@SavBbunny so nice to hear from you 💜 yes all good this end, still sober and representing 💪 still student nursing my way about, nearly finished the first year now. I got a first in the assignment , which I am obviously beyond pleased about, the highest mark I've ever achieved. I owe it all to sobriety and the chances I've been given, the support here and everywhere else in my life.

Keep on keeping on everyone , it's so worth it 🙌

Bloody well done Champ.

Thanks @SavBbunny how are things your end job wise? What's happening?

ah amazing @ChampooPapi well done!!

Arhh thanks @Fortheloveofgodwhy 💜 much appreciated after my very un-humble brag! How are you getting on? How long into the sober life are you now? Very behind on the thread I'm afraid

@ameretat thanks for asking, I'm on the up. Today is day 3 back on the wagon and I'm slowly but surely feeling better. Trying to remember all the tips from last time, like alcohol free drinks and playing through the whole scenario from first alcoholic drink to messy end of the night. If truth be told I don't even like the feeling of being drunk! It's far nicer to be clear headed.

Hope everyone else is doing okay this week.

Champ!!! @ChampooPapi so very much chuffed for you 👍
well done you - I hope you are suitably proud of yourself 👏
with such a busy life it’s even more of an achievement

@SavBbunny I had counselling today to Same as you it just gets it all off my chest. I feel a bit lighter now.
It felt good today talking to the counsellor about not drinking and the positive effects it is having and also talking through the difficult bits. My last meeting was when I had stopped for a couple of weeks. It's 6 weeks today. It's nice to be recognised and praised for my efforts and encouraged to continue by someone IRL too....though it was on FaceTime.......we've not reverted back to in person meetings after Covid because it works this way.
Hope everyone is having a good Wednesday.

It's kind of funny not thinking of it as "hump day" anymore aka "any excuse to have a drink midweek day" and all the other slogans to do with drinking.

@ChampooPapi it's not a humble brag. Its an absolutely fabulous achievement and you should shout it from the rooftops.

Went into my office today, first time since March 2020 (and only to clear out my desk as we're permanently WFH now). Saw a few people and did the whole "we must have drinks soon" thing. I'm pretty open about not drinking and I'm also relatively open about my reasons depending on who I'm talking to I just felt it easier to agree to drinks than to explain today.

Lockdown really affected my drinking. The lack of routine (kids off, I was WFH). I really did let it slide in the early days. Then my mum died suddenly and unexpectedly and I've been drinking my feelings ever since.

So I'm extra proud of my 115 days, given the things that sent me into the abyss (mainly my mum dying) still exist. I'm learning better ways to cope with my feelings.

Fantastic champ an AF nursing champ indeed.

I've not been on so much lately. Just kind of getting on with life alcohol free. But I have dipped in and read, so much support from and for those at all stages. It's so great to see.

I had an interesting insight a few weeks ago. Invited to the evening doo of a wedding. All good, looking forward to it. No desire to drink and wasn't worried about it beforehand.

About a third of the way through the evening everyone was starting to loosen up due to the booze flowing. I felt a little outside of it all. In truth I wasn't massively comfortable or confident in my outfit and I had a few moments of watching everyone dancing and not caring. I felt a pang. A pang of my age and my sobriety. I would usually be up on the dance floor and talking to all and sundry at this stage. I felt a bit shy and quiet, which doesn't feel very me. I didn't want a drink so much as wanting to not care.

Then by 2 thirds in I didn't give an arse about my outfit or my sobriety and I was dancing with the best of them.

By the end, I have never been so glad NOT to be one of those that were the life and soul in the first third . People falling over. Slumped in seats looking absolutely awful. Unable to focus or walk or speak. A couple of young women slumped against their partners unable to open their eyes.

And then the icing on the cake, on the drive home I had to stop twice for dh to throw up. What a state! I have never been so glad not to drink. Okay, it took a bit longer to break the ice for me but I still had a brilliant time. And I didn't spend a family meal out the next day looking like I wanted to puke in my plate.

I'm not judging dh by the way. I really can't remember the last time he was that drunk. Decades maybe. And he didn't have a huge amount over his limit. He has had a really stressful time lately and it was good to see him let his hair down as he gets very socially anxious at these things. But, it was a wake up call for him about his limits. And a reminder that he's not 20 anymore. He was ashamed and embarrassed and it reminded me that he will be able to learn from it, moderate more and let go of that shame. I wouldn't be able to if it was me. It would have sent me into a spiral. Of, shame, regret and probably more alcohol.

So, for those worried about upcoming weddings and bbqs and birthday celebrations or whatever else summer throws at you, all I can say is..
Notice how you're feeling at the time, acknowledge it might feel weird for a bit but know that you don't have to act on the thought. And play the long game. I had about an hour of questioning my choice to be AF as opposed to many many hours and days of being very very glad indeed that I don't drink anymore.

Thanks @Breathmiller yhat really helps as I have a few summer events coming up … I’ll keep your words in mind if I feel tempted.

@Crunchymum 💐& good for you for being so far along.

day 38.

Best wishes to you all

@Crunchymum 🌹standing with you and 115 days is amazing- your mum would be proud.
@Breathmiller always a thought provoking message in your posts - thank you as that’s food for thought.

Thank you @Breathmiller that was really good to read, I thought you were going to say you felt out of place so you went away by yourself but I'm so glad you went up on that dance floor! I do remember a wedding like this abroad everyone completely plastered to the point one of our friends wives went missing and was found in the toilet where she had passed out! I was the only one next day using the outdoor gym and feeling happy whole everyone else was depressed and wanting to over eat etc etc so made me feel better, I wish I carried on (that was 3/4 years ago) staying sober. I don't know what possessed me to start again. But at least I know now. Day 36. It feels like it's going slow to me the early 30s days wise I feel I should be on at least 50!
Well done @ChampooPapi for your achievement you totally should 'brag' about them why not?
@Crunchymum well done on your days bloody amazing.im scared of when that will happen to me parents etc but I'll try not to think about it for now and stay strong and happy !

Evening all. Another day done and dusted and all good.

@LydiaLurk - hope all going well. Will check in around 7 this eve with an iced tonic water & lime plus some naice olives. Had a bag of ice left over from jubilee and am enjoying ice with everything at the moment. I just love the tinkly sound it makes.