The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@Handsoffreturns, we've all been there, please don't beat yourself up about the past. we're all here to support each other.

@ameretat that's fab, a whole year!

although I'm no longer doing the drunk snacking, I feel that my sugar cravings are much worse. I just argued with myself about getting dressed and going to the shop for chocolate/biscuits (which reminded me of doing that about wine!). I'm too tired to go out, but anyone got suggestions to beat the cravings when you sit down at night? I'm pretty good thru the day, and I don't deny myself sugar, in fact I had cake earlier with friends, but I feel I could easily binge ...

Hi all,

Would it be ok if I gatecrash? I was here two years ago, so I recognise a few names. I wish I'd have had your resolve but after 6 months I got complacent and I'm sure you can imagine the story since then.

I'm back onboard now though, and I think the support from this board will really help. It did the first time. I want it to be a long-term thing now. I thought it was last time but clearly I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.

@beargryllshasabigrope welcome - always room for more and great to hear from you

@Crunchymum that moment is as important a milestone as any number of days! Realising that you are having a good time, and are perfectly happy without a drink - it's what you have been working towards.

@Handsoffreturns welcome. No judgement here. The challenge is in keeping to it once the shame of drunken escapades has worn off.

Hello @beargryllshasabigrope , and welcome back. Do you know what to watch out for this time?

Welcome back @beargryllshasabigrope.

I've been topping up the positive messaging and listening to Alcohol Free Life podcast. Loads of great content to get your head in the right place.

How are you all doing? Day 36 here. Continuing to get so much from this thread. Thank you all.

Monday morning without a weekend of boozing. 💪🏾

Thanks all for having me back.

@drybird2020 last time it was a wedding that set me off. I had a few, and then got sent home with a couple of leftover bottles of wine. So, I guess socialising when alcohol is involved is what did it for me. And I know I can't do 'just one', because even if I manage it on one occasion, there will inevitably come a full on slide back into terribly unhealthy habits.

I'm so envious of people that can moderate things in their lives. I have such a 'more more more' streak in me that I just can't. It's all or nothing.

hi all

@beargryllshasabigrope welcome back - I don't revel in the tales of those whose wheels fell of their wagon but it is good (from my POV) to hear it, at 4 months the ever present wine witch is quieter but making more [powerful 'you can just have one with dinner/the beach/the airport' type suggestions, and i find those more difficult to counter than the 'but it's friday' nags at the beginning, so sorry for you but thank you for sharing (for me).

120 days, 4 months tomorrow!

decided to tackle the sugar now, i've gained 1kg (all in the last week...holiday) but time to loose a couple I think!

@beargryllshasabigrope
I'm so envious of people that can moderate things in their lives. I have such a 'more more more' streak in me that I just can't. It's all or nothing

this I can relate to 100%. Most moderators don’t even realise they’re moderators & they say annoying things like ‘ah we’re all the same’ etc but we really aren’t all the same. Some of us really truly struggle with moderation … of anything we like or feel we need.

I was in a friend’s once & we had wine with dinner. After dinner, there was no more wine to be seen, only tea. I thought ‘wtf? We’ve started drinking so we don’t stop drinking until we go to bed, surely.’ Glad I didn’t say that but I felt on edge for the evening once the wine ended. I’m so glad I’m releasing myself from that hellish feeling.

Best of luck to you. I think abstinence is actually easier than moderation for people like us.

Hi all, hope you are all well. It's good to read everyone's stories and how we all can related to them! Well done everyone for making changes in your lives, I think why did it take.me.so.long to realise life without drink can be blissful! I'm on day 35 (thanks @Nouveaunew always handy for you to say your day so then I know mine hehe)

You hit the nail on the head about the moderation. I am now slightly less envious of them especially this morning met up with people and their kids and mine and one was very hungover from a jubilee street party, getting the crisps and coffees in whilst she was commenting on me losing weight ! Had I been hungover I would have gorged on junk food so I feel great (I did have some junk food but not as much as I would have!) I also dealt with my kids anxiety when they are fighting in public etc better when not drunk/hungover. Everything seems like I can deal with things better. I'm still stressed tired anxious but can deal with things a lot better plus my house is getting cleaner and more organised the more sober days I'm racking up! I am funnily even sticking up for myself more these days, who I used to be before drink took my confidence away as well as my respect. Take care all.

Hello everyone.

I posted yesterday to offer my support to posters and lurkers who want to reclaim their lives by ditching the booze.
This is my way of saying thank you to the wonderful posters on this thread (and others but particularly this one) I owe a huge debt of gratitude to each and everyone one of you sharing your journey.
Tomorrow I will have been sober for a year - I seriously cannot believe it. I am so, so proud of myself (but not complacent - never complacent), and I would like to share more of what has worked for me this time around.
This is the start of my tool box – it doesn’t suit everyone – pick what suits you and don’t question or justify it.
Your one job here is to not drink today.
Keep telling yourself that.
I used AF wine and soda in the early days.
I started drinking at my usual time with my usual wine glass but used AF wine.
It was rubbish and tasted nothing like wine but in a way that was good.
I now can’t stand the stuff.
There was a pivotal moment when I realised I hated that wine glass and all that it stood for (the only one left that shape from a set of six) and so one ceremonious occasion I threw it hard into the recycling and enjoyed the sound of the splintering glass.
Good riddance.
I bought every single type of adult soft drink and cordial on the market.
I never wanted to be caught out fancying something and not having it to hand.
I still have most of them now.
I never really needed them but it was a comfort having them close by.
I am now a connoisseur of the AF market.
I’ve tried most of them and have a supply on hand.
My friends and family now often join me in an AF alternative.
My AF drinks of choice are currently Nosecco with soda (takes the sweet edge off and lasts longer) and Gordons 0%
and Aldi tonic.
Keep plenty of ice in the freezer, and I also keep sliced lemon, lime and oranges in the freezer to add to drinks to make them feel more special.
You deserve this - please believe that

I

Evening all
@Namechanged12344 interesting what you say about sticking up for yourself. Me too. I use to buy wine, drink it, cry and then finally tell someone. I have said no to a few people since going af and one very firm f**k off. It felt great and I don't regret it. When drinking I always wondered if I went too far.

@Ameretat we have the same taste buds. Nozeco and Gordon's af.

Five months for me on Wednesday. I do feel better & look better.

@SavBbunny
Wow almost 5 months is amazing

congrats on almost a year @Ameretat i drink Gordon’s 0% a lot with fancy tonics, lemon, lime & ice. It’s lovely all right.

as for sticking up for yourselves @SavBbunny and @Namechanged12344 I think it’s improved clarity maybe? I’m starting to see certain things clearer now that I’m AF & I’m starting to place more value on myself … slowly … I’m still naturally a people pleaser and I want to remain a nice person but I want to move away from doing things I feel I should do and move towards what will feel good to do

@Fortheloveofgodwhy congratulations on 4 months. I'm a week behind you so it's good to have someone on a similar trajectory.

It's a huge achievement to go from days to months.

I've been okay with the sugar / weight loss (I have a lot to loose though!) but I notice once I allow the occasional sweet treat, within a week I'm a sugar fiend. I clearly have moderation issues 😂

In all seriousness though this is why I'd never attempt to moderate alcohol now. I'd manage it for a while (been there and done that) but ultimately I'll end up back to bad habits and then maybe I'll never be able to get out? Next time could be the time I can't get out?????

Checking in on day 2. Slept badly last night but hopefully it will get better.

I get what I guess must be sugar craving pains in the middle of the night and have to get up and eat a yogurt or drink some milk.

Trying to avoid eating body weight in Bombay mix but otherwise all good. Wine witch is waiting for Thursday to start make unhelpful suggestions

@Nouveaunew great sentiments 😊

@EileenFH well done on day 2. This coming weekend will be the hardest one but you can do it. And on Monday next week YOU.WILL.FEEL.AMAZING keep that in mind!!

I too cannot moderate on anything. I know this with chocolate, if it is there I might as well just eat it all now and get rid of it 😑 same with alcohol. Getting Married to a natural moderator has been tough this last decade. Although now I’m sober and slimmer (slimmer came pre sobriety). I wonder how much of a moderator DH really is… maybe just better than me, rather than really good at it 🤔.

@Ameretat congrats on a year. Well done!

i just try this Gordon’s 0% although I never liked gin and tonic when drinking so im
not sure it is worth the expense. Ditto nosecco. I did enjoy the rosé DH bought me for my birthday but might try it next time with some soda as it was very sweet still. The DC white wine from the Wise Bartender was pretty good too. But decaf coffee is my go to nighttime drink really 🤣

Thank you for your kind messages.
They mean the world to me coming from you guys – as I say – I feel as if I know you all.
I’ve kept this milestone very low key at home.
As many of you will know it can be complicated to take this journey surrounded by normal (or are they??) drinkers.
I hope to post again later after work with another tool that helped me but I just wanted to say to those in the very early days and dreading the weekend – start to plan now for the danger times.
Have a think about trying an AF drink – I mainlined the AF ciders in the early days.
They are really pretty good.
Really nice and refreshing – and if you think “Well, its just a fizzy apply juice – the answer is Yes? And so is cider, so you might just as well drink the AF version!”
Treat yourself to some treats – cheese, chocolate, sweets, biscuits, or all of the above.
A magazine, book or a box set.
Read the threads, use the advice on there from women just like you.
Scratch the surface and we’re all the same deep down and we’ve got you.
We’re on this journey with you.
Hope to be back later – have a good day everyone.

Thanks @Ameretat I'm woken up feeling bit groggy maybe the new meds and too much caffeine yesterday but I was feeling the rage yesterday and woken up feeling a bit sad. We al have good and bad days I guess regardless of alcohol issues in our lives! But I have been very positive recently so I will try and get back on that vibe. Reading posts like yours and others always spurs me on. Each day is different but all I know is I won't drink today. Day 36.

Hello all. Day 3 here. Day 1 was easy, even though Sunday is usually a drinking day. It is odd, but I have absolutely no desire to drink at all. When I conyemplate never drinking again I feel fine about it, which has never happened before when I have tried to give up.

I don't normally drink in the week until Thursday, so maybe that is when cravings might kick in.

@EileenFH Thursday will be my wine witch day as well. Let's keep each other going.

Hi all newbies, restarts and veterans. Reading all your lovely posts really helps.
I'm 6 weeks tomorrow. Does this mean I'm next level and can start counting in weeks rather than days lol?
It's only 6 weeks but so much has changed over this short period of time.
That feeling of dread has gone.
The anxiety is much much less and completely manageable.
The red blotchy face is still a bit red veiny but the blotchiness has gone. Which makes me feel less self conscious. I look and feel a bit healthier.

My eyes are brighter.
My stomach issues are much, much better. I was worried that once I felt better physically I would cave in and drink but I don't want to drink. I'm done with it.

I have more money now I'm not buying alcohol for me and dh and treated myself/us to a multi cooker. (Wanted one for a good few years but didn't have the spare cash.)
Dd and ds (both adults) are proud of us both for stopping. Neither of them drink. Obviously we set such a bad example they never started drinking.
Things are much clearer. My brain is functioning better. (I have MS so my brain needs all the help it can get!)
Most difficulty is with dealing with mine and dh relationship and drinking. A big part of our life has revolved around substances to escape reality. We've both gotten overly annoyed with each other over small things or when there are stressful things going on. For the most part I've been able to take a step back and recognise it's the not drinking that's difficult and affecting my mood, not necessarily all my dh fault. Having to deal with all the feelings I bury away with the knowledge I can't drown them out later with a drink.
I have occasional thoughts of maybe I could moderate with alcohol but I'm not going down that road again. Weirdly I can moderate well with pretty much everything else in my life.

Hope all of your weeks are going well.
I'm away to tend to my trays of salad and leafy greens and maybe do a bit more of my jigsaw. Got it a month ago and I've only done the edgy bits..........nearly put it back in the box

Well done @JesusSufferingFuck22 If I am still on the wagon in six weeks I will be so pleased!

Afternoon all.
@JesusSufferingFuck22 I had my red veins zapped at the beautician. £60 a session. I had three. Wine budget.
There is a boots cream in a gold box that works on high colour. Max £15. Bop from Shiseido too but no longer a UK product and expensive.

@LydiaLurk i never drank in the week until wfh. Friday was kick off and I could drink 3-4 bottles over the weekend. I added in Wednesday when I wasn't driving the next day. I didn't sleep well for twenty years.