The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

We are urging each other on!

Thank you LL, Crayonpenny.
Feeling OK. Glad not as hot. I spent many years in the Nordics. Now I know why!
Lots to read so keeps me out of trouble.

Good to see you both still here @LydiaLurk !

It’s been a very tough few days (visiting DM who has dementia) but I’ve managed to come through still sober. 18 weeks today, and grateful for that

@Onewildandpreciouslife well done on your 18 weeks it’s a big achievement!
I’m sorry to hear your mum has dementia as that’s a tough one to deal with - it makes your sober journey even more impressive.

@Onewildandpreciouslife congrats on 18 weeks.

Morning all.
I am up with one tea down. So glad I skipped the party. Could have been tricky. A bout of Shingles made my mind up as can be dangerous around pregnant ladies and in a female dominated do there was bound to be a few. No pictures to fear or massive face freezing hangover. I also didn't spend silly money on a expensive dress.
I had some faux gin and noticed Marks is selling it ready mixed in a can. Will try and report back.
I am hiding from travelling the next few weeks as I don't want to get stuck anywhere. Alternative house viewing mid week as last one removed from the market . Hopefully a peaceful and productive week for all of us.

Morning all

Managed to not drink last night but was v tempted.

@Onewildandpreciouslife well done on 18 weeks that is amazing. I really hope I will get that far. I am sorry about your mum. Dementia is such a cruel disease and being a carer can be very difficult.

@SavBbunny shingles? Are you OK?

Have a great Monday everyone. May the wheels stay on all of your wagons.

@LydiaLurk shingles is part of my RA. Last bout same time last year. Well done on not drinking. Tis a constant battle but I can tell you when I have had a blip it makes me feel like poop.

@ChampooPapi all ok with you?
Lovely cool day.

@Onewildandpreciouslife 18 weeks is awesome! Sorry about your mum, it's such a horrible illness.

@SavBbunny Sounds like you have a busy week ahead! Interested to hear your findings re M&S can. I still need to pop back in to take a look at the AF offerings in more detail, I must say I was quite impressed at the time. They seem to have various flavours of Seedlip, not sure if it's any good or not, seems on the more costly side so I don't want to get some / not like it if that makes sense.

Had a bit of a blip over the weekend which I'm pretty annoyed about. Not helped by the fact my home life is becoming quite toxic but I think I'm making excuses. Got a meeting with a counsellor on Wednesday (drink counsellor) which I arranged a few weeks ago as the waiting list was pretty long so I think that will be useful.

onwards @Crayonpenny well done for jumping back on here. Look forward to hearing if you find the session helpful on Wednesday 👍

@AlloftheTime Thank you. I had a courtesy call this morning asking if I was still happy to go ahead on Wednesday which was nice of them. My in-laws are over on Wednesday for child care so I'm going to go into the office and camp out in a meeting room for the call, feels a bit weird doing it at home otherwise. Hopefully will be a bit more productive than my last counselling session - general session - where I was sat on a camping chair and I managed to also break the front door so the counsellor and I were stuck in her house.

@Crayonpenny definitely have the counselling.
I have found it very useful.

I really like the M&S AF G&T, especially in a gin balloon with lots of ice and lemon.

DH's friend, who is visiting, says I am looking well.

Day 86

@DeedIDo That sounds nice, is it a ready made drink? 86 days, great!!

@Crayonpenny that made me chuckle 🤭
must have been a bizarre day all round!
good sign they got in touch to confirm and I agree that being at home with in-laws around would have off putting.
checking in on day 365 💫

Wow @AlloftheTime that is amazing, congratulations!

86 days is also brilliant @DeedIDo.

We will need a new thread soon...

@AlloftheTime It was surreal. I've probably outed myself as I don't imagine that is a common experience but hey ho. 365 days is awesome!! Send some skills my way!

@SavBbunny I'm kind of looking forward to it if that doesn't sound strange. I think it will be good to speak to someone else independent. Fingers crossed!

I've had my mum round today. Aka she turned ok on my doorstep at 9.30 and then proceeded to talk loudly at the front about my issues. Excellent - my neighbours probably heard it all.

I can host if no one else can. Only 6 months in and no angel 😇

Yes, it's the can referred to upthread, although I think it's also available in bottles.

@DeedIDo ahh thank you. I think I've seen that referenced a few times in the thread. Will make a nice change from Nosecco - I like it and at £3 a bottle it's a winner.

@SavBbunny That sounds a plan 😊 I almost started a new thread on a cat topic earlier (I don't have a cat) so I'm going to steer clear of this responsibility.

I have put a new one up. If anyone else is wants to post or would find it helpful to do so let me know. I write a journal and various posts so no prob. Sav x

Hi Guys,
Checking in at over 200 days - wohoo!
@Crayonpenny, that totally sounds like the sort of thing that I would do!

OK, I really need a bit of a virtual hand hold.
So long story short, OH & I were both drinking too much, crept up over lockdown yadda yadda, you know the story. Admittedly I was more (of an) obvious mess than him.
So, I did dry jan (also had 2 weeks off before christmas), pushed it to a 90/100mday challenge and have been pretty plain sailing since.
Apart fom OH. (things haven't been great for a while, I had hoped being AF would help...)
I haven't asked him to change his behaviour at all (his reaction to my doing dry jan was "as long as you don't expect me to do it" as it has been in other years, so I knew that bit would be pointless), even still buy booze for him if shopping etc.

Anyway, he has been gunning for it since I stopped. Drank every day in Jan, and has had probably another 3 x 1 month + stints of everyday drinking.
He is rarely up before 10 (ever), and generally goes back to bed in the afternoon (yes he works FT!), it's a long standing issue shall we say. He suffers from migraines, and weird dizziness, gut issues, anxiety
etc . You name it...

Anyway most of last week was spent in bed (for any/many of the above reasons), but he was still drinking (apart fom the actual day of the migraine possibly). I suggested perhaps laying off the booze a bit more, we had a decent chat, I even explained that I really wasn't enjoying being around him being so wasted so often. So far so good.

Then it becomes all about him! How we havn't thought about how my not drinking is impacting him! What will he do on holiday now?!

Then he said he would basically have to make a choice to either spend time with me or to drink (bit weird), I said I didn't expect him to stop, just be a bit less pissed less often...
Anyway, he then polished off 1.5 bottles of wine cooking (dinner was late as I left him to do it) and fell asleep watching the film with the kids.
I mean FFS!
Actions speak louder than words huh?

I'm starting to feel that there is no future in our relationship :(

Sorry, turned into a bit of a rants essay , but it's been pretty cathartic to get it off my chest!

Hoping everyone is having a good Monday

I found this via NHS econsult thingy. smartrecovery.org.uk/smart-recovery-programme/
Looks ok and might be what I need for a bit of extra help. I’ve got a zoom meeting on Thursday in the women only group. (I only did that because of the time it on. I don’t want to be having a meeting with my dh and ds around.)
I think I’ll like this programme because it doesn’t have the same “higher power” slant that AA does. That’s always put me off. Anyway, will see how it goes.
Hope you are all doing ok and we’ll done on the ever increasing milestones!

Hi @AlbinoAxolotl We must have posted at the same time.
Alcohol takes its toll on relationships regardless of who’s doing the drinking I think!
I hope things settle down for you.
Its good to get it off your chest. Rant away!