The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@AlloftheTime 💜

I'm always moaning on this thread so I thought I'd post something positive.

Day 111 and I'm watching the Jubilee concert (from the comfort of the living room!) with an AF beer, Kettle Chips but I am feeling happy

I'm not wishing the AF beer was a glass of wine. I'm not feeling like I'm 'making do' instead of having the real thing. I feel content and happy and yeah just all warm and fuzzy!!!

Ooooo @Nouveaunew I'm getting ahead of myself by Jove I am day 33 made a little sad as I'm pretty sure I was like 35 hahahaha anyway strong is the word I was looking for today , well done to all of us for staying strong and not letting the drink rule us for a change! I just posted on another thread but don't ever be scared to say of you have had a blip or anything we've all been there done that won't judge etc it's who we are..human. I was recalling a time when I used to only look for take outs that also delivered alcohol didn't matter if I liked the cuisine or not...feels like a lifetime ago but this time it's different the feeling etc. I honestly have high hopes now don't want to jinx it obviously.dh was sat drinking white and then went onto red. I was a bit funny but then we watched a film for once together while kids were on their electronic babysitters lol and I felt positive and happy and respected. I feel I had to stop for me but also for marriage and family. Keep on going people!

That’s lovely Crunchy hope the feeling stays forever 🥰

Aw @Crunchymum and @Namechanged12344 I felt so happy for ye reading your posts. That’s lovely to read. It’s amazing after all the trying that one day it just sticks. I feel finally ready to go the distance this time & it sounds like ye do too 😎

Just hopping onto the thread quickly as I’ve returned from another amazing sober holiday😁 made a thousand times better by not drinking!😊

Not caught up with all the messages but wanted to say @Crunchymum I love that post! You are able to feel this joy thanks to your own hard work! Well done!

@Handsoffreturns welcome, we have all been there. But you don’t have to feel this way forever. Give up the booze and stick with it, the benefits will be so worth it. Be kind to yourself today.

As for me… Almost 26 months in now and couldn’t feel happier. I’m not sad about the years I drank anymore, only grateful that I don’t drink anymore. My OH barely drinks anymore neither now and he’s been such an amazing source of support. I will have so many awesome memories of this holiday, all crisp and clear as not clouded by alcohol. Feeling very grateful today.

@Handsoffreturns It is never too late to join this group - now is the perfect time. There are a mix of “veterans and newbies” here. Please don’t be put off by the fact some have been sober for a long time - everyone had a day 1 (and I had loads of day 1s).

Before Christmas, my DH was crying because he couldn’t cope with my drinking anymore- so yes, I have felt like you.

Be kind to yourself today - drink plenty of water and take it easy

Morning all. Today is day 1 for me. I can usually manage a Sunday as it's good to start the working week with a clear head. Its Thurs onwards that I find tricky as I get all those unhelpful thoughts like - well you've done really well, so one won't hurt, maybe it would be ok to just drink at weekends, 3 AF days a week is still loving you liver etc etc ...

@SavBbunny & @JennyAct3 - totally agree about the Bridget Jones influence. I'm the same era and read the original newspaper column. I started re reading it recently and boy does it normalise over consumption of wine but it was just a thing then - ladettes and all that. Plus you might remember that in those days 21 units a week was ok. I remember thinking a glass (one of those giant 250 ml ones was a unit) - hollow laugh.

Anyway - also thank you for the sleep tips. I do listen to podcasts and audiobooks to go to sleep but tend to listen to new ones and then end up staying awake to listen to them. Maybe something familiar would be more hypnotic. Plus also comfort reading is one to try - although maybe not Bridget Jones Diary

Good (hangover free) morning all!
This is my first ever post on MN but I have been reading these and similar pages for a few years now for company and inspiration, motivation and encouragement and I just wanted to pay the favour forward by sharing my sober journey.
In a couple of days’ time I will be sober for a year.
I seriously cannot believe it.
You hear so many times “if I can do it - you can do it” and wonder if that is true – well please believe it.
You are strong and you can do this.
Posting on here is another step into the unknown for me.
I did join a gardening forum once but that’s about it for my foray into social media other than a couple of family WhatsApp groups so I’m going to keep this short for now – who knows though I might just like it!
I am just about to start my fourth page of this draft post so I already know I have too much to say for one introductory post!
I really wanted to share my tips and my experience in the hope that one of you, or someone like me lurking on the posts and pondering their own relationship with alcohol, is supported and encouraged.
I’m going to keep it super brief and just say for now – keep reading, keep posting.
You lot seriously have been my mainstay throughout this sober year.
I went right back to the very first post started by Drybird and in the early days when I was white knuckling I would lock myself in the loo with tears in my eyes and read two or three posts on my phone and could feel your love and support.
Corny but true.
I now read a couple every night in bed before I go to sleep.
So thank you all – so, so much.
Today I will not drink!

@Handsoffreturns
welcome! I’m on day 35 today - so day 1 is fresh in my memory. I had many many day 1s. My last day 1 was after vomiting in the toilet and sleeping on the bathroom floor. I too felt ashamed & like an idiot. I wondered what I’d been even saying all night. You’re amongst supportive people here & to quote High School Musical ‘we’re all in this together.’ 💐

@Handsoffreturns
Don't be embarrassed. By proud you walked this way. My defining moment was flashing my spanx last summer at an industry event. I have not lived it down.
I always picked a fight when drunk. Soap box stuff, politics etc. No one likes a smart arse and boy I was one. Friends shitty bullying husbands were a classic. I would now say it sober which is a huge turning point. We can only hope we don't drink today. The past is over.

Hi @Handsoffreturns welcome and don't beat yourself up (even tho it's pretty hard not to the next day after drinking the self loathing and omg moments ) those moments will go as soon as you get past a few weeks of drinking ! And yes we have had so many day 1s and talking utter shite. I remember I was at my posh cousin's wedding don't remember a thing about what I had done/said. The next day everyone was looking at me talking about me looking over whispering. My aunt and mum eventually said I was shouting profanities to my husband (because he was dancing with the bride's sister ) calling him all the names under the sun, falling over, crying, asking long Lost uncles about their private lives ...etc etc do I remember anything about it? No I embarrassed my whole family and DH did I stop hell no I kept drinking to avoid the thoughts but it's a vicious circle. Drink is a depressant and gives you anxiety ! It might seem relaxing after that first sip but if you don't take the first sip that thought will go that you 'deserve' it within a few mins. Try and be kind to yourself and yes lots of water!
@Ameretat wow 1 year I honestly cannot wait until I get there!

Omg of not drinking I mean not a few weeks of drinking!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies so pleased to hear you had an amazing sober holiday I can't wait for my next one!

@Handsoffreturns sorry to hear you are feeling this way. We've all been there so feel your pain. Take care of yourself today and then one day at a time. It's definitely the long game so worth managing your expectations! There is no easy fix. I'm 190 days in and this weekend has been tough. I'm tired and could easily have a drink. The thing that has stopped me is knowing I would fall totally off the wagon and struggle to do the things I need to do like look after my 3 yo and be a normal person at work!! This group is a great support and check out the AF podcasts or quit lit. I'm going to top up this week as clearly I need it!!

@Handsoffreturns
My children (18/23) are a big motivator. Many times I embarrassed them including my sons 21st. He is a staunch non boozer.
@Namechanged12344 The posh wedding! Ah, I loved those. All you can drink champagne. My family are a bit grand and there is always a massive drink fueled row. Usually money. At our age it is funerals now and I remember one where two aunties full of grog were arguing over the hoover!
The booze has been harder to give up than the food.
Good luck everyone today.

On my way to a jubilee barbecue. Interestingly I’m not feeling triggered by this. I think it’s because I know that if I was still drinking I’d be very stressed right now - could I control it? Would I do something stupid? Will there be enough wine?

today I’ve had a run (sorry) and my 18 year old dd says I look cool. My DH has bought me af rose to drink. And I’m feeling chilled and grateful

Happy Sunday everyone. crunchymum what a lovely post! I’m so happy for you. bunnies thank you thank you thank you for your holiday posts. My last big challenge - a dry summer holiday - is rapidly getting closer and I don’t want to drop the ball now. I’m just going to regard it as handling any normal social place with beer, except hotter and more expensive, and enjoy the positives of clear headed mornings.
Hello to everyone, especially all the new posters. @Handsoffreturns no-one is going to judge you here, we all have our histories and our (missing) memories. Without alcohol I am so much more present for everyone in my life, including me. Hello @EileenFH too, the early Thursday/Friday evenings were challenging for me as my brain could always come up with a reason/justification/excuse for drinking when I’d said I wouldn’t. I ended up trying out various alcohol free drinks, but I know that’s not a solution that works for everyone. It’s been great to build different habits though, even though old me would never have believed the joy of a Friday early evening cup of tea.
I’m owning up - after losing 2.5 stone in 2020/2021 I’ve put 1.25 back on in the last 12 months. I think it’s a mix of lockdown and covid lethargy. And forgetting that alcohol free drinks still have calories… Anyway. I need to commit on exercise and nutrition in the same way that I’ve committed to not drinking. I’m well and truly menopausal and my old ability to eat what I want without gaining weight has definitely disappeared. I don’t want to have to lose a stone every two years so I’m working on more new habits. Wish me luck!
I’m going to top up my coffee and catch up on this thread now.

@Crunchymum love it 🙌💜

Welcome @LydiaLurk Your people are here

enjoy the bbq @Onewildandpreciouslife Good for you going for a run

@Handsoffreturns now that I’ve completed the first month AF I can solemnly say that my diet went to sh*t. I was devouring bags of jellies and my sugar cravings were intense. I’m still eating a lot of sugar but I seem better able to say ‘ok that’s maybe enough for now’ than I was in the first 30 days . Obviously my ultimate plan is to become a perfect Human 🤗but in the meantime, I’m happy with not boozing. So, really my advice is: set not boozing as your one and only goal for the next month. Do whatever it takes to get you through it (within the realms of the law, that is 😜). I can honestly say it’s getting a tiny bit easier now that I’m passed the 30 day mark. The first week was intense & I don’t want to go through that again … which is a great motivator TO STAY OFF THE DUMBASS BOOZE!! (Sorry, I’ve just had a strong coffee … in case it wasn’t obvious 😜).

I agree @Nouveaunew about just concentrating on one thing at a time. I actually find that when I'm not drinking it's also much easier to not eat buckets of crisps and nuts - my particular go to snack.