The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@Nouveaunew oh dear, sounds like sabotage, of course you can drink AF and they will have no clue (if you want to fake it) just give yourself a particular cocktail stirrer so you know which is your glass. My DH drinks a different tonic water to me so I have a yellow stick stirrer and he has blue.

@NitTodaySatan we have probably all done it, I know I have, this is my second outing on the thread (name change from over a year ago, I was on when Bunnies started!). You will get there. You will have done your liver some good with the days you were AF. Day 2 it is. I am really finding drinking something from a proper glass in the evening (the ritual) is a big help. Beginning to feel addicted to Gordon’s AF gin now and am having to tell myself it’s ok I can have it!!

@NitTodaySatan
Sorry you had a blip. I had an idea to moderate at 100 days. By gad it made me poorly. This old bidy couldn't take it. Gut rot, felt headachy, couldn't even neck a bottle. Thankfully I came to my senses. I can and have moderated in the past. The difference I think this time I don't want the booze. Be gentle on yourself. Every day not drinking is good.

@JennyAct3 love the Gordon's. Reminds me of a crisp wine without the dogs breath. I can't find anything I like more.

@NitTodaySatan Blips happen and I think its how you deal with them that counts. So do not be too hard on yourself.

It seems the whole world is drinking at the moment. Makes me feel a bit 'meh' and to be honest I've been avoiding a lot of the "festivities" as I know booze will be free flowing.

I'm feeling resolute in my choice not to drink (think its day 110 today) but sunny Bank Holiday weekends would have usually been a huge green light for me to hit the wine!!

I'm taking a few AF beers with me to a BBQ today.... debated avoiding this too but decided I can't become a total recluse 😂

Sorry to all of those dealing with insensitive people at the moment. It's my birthday in a few weeks so I'm expecting a few bottles of my poison (standard gift for me). I'm pretty sure some people just cannot compute what not drinking actually means.

@JennyAct3
Thank you. I think ‘sabotage’ is a good word. I’m going to stick with AF I’m actually going to buy more Gordon’s 0% and lovely tonics. I’m going to tell them I’m still not drinking and that I’m serious about it. Who knew peer pressure still existed in the 40s!

I am very thankful for this thread. Honestly, the old me would have just said ‘f**k it’ and would have opened it ‘not to be rude.’ If it weren’t for the helpful words of support on this thread, I’m pretty sure I’d have opened it by now. Thank you all.

Like you @JennyAct3 this my second go on this thread too. I was on it a couple of years ago after drinking for about 70 days in a row. I managed to stay AF for 60 days, decided to moderate and went back on it slowly but surely until it was back to wine every evening. You’ve done the right thing posting about your blip @NitTodaySatan instead of using it as an excuse for self-sabotage.

I had almost forgotten that I once did 60 days and it reminds me of Just how addictive alcohol is that despite that, I went back on it just like before! even when you’re not getting blotto every night but drinking steadily - that is dependency. I was a lot of people’s go-to person to get pissed with and I think some of them (like that colleague) are missing their trusted drinking buddy.

@Nouveaunew when I gave up before for 3 weeks (I think) I thought I could now move from drinking wine every evening to just drinking a couple of glasses after dinner at the weekend. Didn’t happen. I went straight back to a bottle and a half every evening like before.

Reading all your posts is giving me strength. Thank you all for sharing. @JennyAct3 @Nouveaunew @Crunchymum @SavBbunny @NitTodaySatan @Onewildandpreciouslife @Namechanged12344 @BraveFaceScaredInside @ChampooPapi @Newmum738 and the rest xx

If I had been drinking last night today would have been much more stressful and full of anxiety. My dh recognised this too. I had a hospital appointment which my dh has to take me to because I can't drive anymore. It's also his delivery day for our business. He juggled things about so I wouldn't have to change my appointment. Worked out ok. Things just fell into place and the few things that didn't we managed to sort out. Results should be back in a couple of weeks I think.

Friends coming tomorrow for dinner. This is usually a drinking event for me, dh and one other. Dh said not to bother telling them we're not drinking. We'll just deal with it when they get here. Only one of them will be drinking as the rest are driving. I don't think they'll have a drink if it's just them drinking. I'm thinking my dh is maybe hoping he'll get pressured into a wee sneaky glass of wine. I'm ok with that but I think he'll be disappointed in himself and then be a grumpy sod about it the next day. It'll be nice to spent Saturday preparing without a hangover and a Sunday clearing up without the fear and regret.

Enjoy your weekends xx

Hi all, sorry if I miss anyone out but quickly skimmed and you are all doing so bloody well! My gosh it's sunny, we have trouble and strifes and stresses and we are still bloody SOBER! Think.of that and kick wine witches sorry arse out the door!
@NitTodaySatan well done for posting we have all been there but you are back on that wagon doing it again keep going love.

Quick check in. Well done all you sober sisters. Coming up to my 4 month mark. No weight loss… probably a again but I’ve just finished my first sober holiday. 🙌 it was ok… actually I didn’t particularly want to drink so that was good. But I can’t say I feel massively relaxed which is a shame and I slept like shit.. but then I never sleep well away from home. The hardest bit was getting home actually, that’s when I I felt like a glass of wine! But I didn’t. DH disgraced himself by trying to get me to try wine one night, repeatedly ‘it’s lovely, it’s your favourite, you could have just a bit…’ I reminded him in the morning and he was embarrassed and apologised, I also told the kids he had done it! 🤣 so he won’t do it again… it did give us a chance to talk about it which we haven’t really. Not sure he gets it, but he won’t be offering me a drink again….

@Nouveaunew I have one friend I have not seen since February. Old drinking buddy. I have asked her out about half a dozen times. She is no longer free. We had a af lunch months ago and she moaned a lot! The other reason maybe I paid a lot. Another bottle? Sav was paying. I am now a bit wiser. Drinking a lot of milk since hospital.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy
good for you not drinking on holidays … and for telling your DH what’s what. He needs to know you’re serious. It’s good you weren’t tempted as it’s not made easier By someone trying to tempt you!

@SavBbunny
sorry to hear your friend has showed her true colours, this journey we are on exposes some friendships for what they are maybe …

Hey, can I join your lovely thread please? I think you are my people!

I'm mid fifties, and until about five years ago I rarely drunk, but for several reasons I won't bore you with, I have made up for it in these last few years. I've had some scary blackouts, had terrible anxiety, so tried to moderate (haha, never happening), and with the help of some quit lit, I decided to give it up altogether. I've just done a count, I'm on day 59 AF. I did try to have three months AF last summer, which I did about 2 months of but my mindset wasn't in giving up entirely, just taking a break. The awful patterns were back within a couple of weeks.

I occasionally think, like PP, oh what a lovely evening to sit in the garden with a glass of wine. But like others have referenced, it wouldn't just be one! I've a cupboard full of posh squash, would be interested in trying the Gordons 0% - didn't know it existed.

@PurpleFresias welcome and climb aboard - always room for another passenger!
Have a good day all

@Fortheloveofgodwhy well done on 4 months and a sober holiday! It’s so annoying being put under the spotlight, isn’t it?

Welcome @PurpleFresias - glad you found us!

@PurpleFresias welcome, I am mid fifties too. Day 59 is great, well done. I am day 29.

Welcome @PurpleFresias that's amazing 59 days! I'm on day 34 and powering through the thick and thin. Last night when I finally managed to get 2 mins to myself (when is half term over ?) I was on Kindle app and there is sooooooo much quit lit it's unbelievable.it wasn't there 20 +years ago when I first started binging and blacking out thinking that was normal. I've had AA stints too but wasn't for me unfortunately especially my sponsor was not nice to me from the start it's like she just wanted to do one her steps by grabbing me fresh but she was abrupt and mean and not nice so maybe bad luck on my part. But anyway what I'm trying to say is there's so much 'help' out there and I've got to say without the boards on here I wouldn't be at day 34. So thank you all.

Welcome @PurpleFresias 59 days is great!

Hi @Nouveaunew hope you are ok you are day 35 right?

Good morning. I would like to join too. I've been on these threads before, done Dry January etc. I had a long stint AF about 4 years ago but never managed to repeat it. So dumb because I know how much better it made me feel and how drinking makes me feel depressed and anxious.

One of the main problems I have with stopping is that I really struggle with insomnia and this gets much worse when I stop drinking. I know it won't last and after a few weeks things will get better but getting through those weeks will be hard as it's very disruptive to work etc.

Anyway lovely to meet you all sober sisters - looking forward to travelling with you.

Morning all and welcome all newbies. I haven't done the holiday without alcohol yet. My new job will be pretty full on until the autumn and my new staff start. Fresh faces hopefully will mean no need for a drinking culture. The will know me as Sav the sensible.
I think a lot of us mid fifties ladies are left over from the Bridget Jones years (I hate chardonnay though). I had my children quite late for the time and it was a shock to the system. My mother died when I was on mat leave and I started drinking. Managed to moderate after that but was left in the same boat five years ago after my father died. My best friend was out of the country. I can't say my antics were normal but addicts surround themselves with enablers. New friends, big drinkers. I have admitted to alcohol being a problem to me otherwise it very easy in our booze soaked world to consume it. My best friend was brave enough to tell me unless I got a grip my wls would be unsuccessful.
I am house bound this bank holiday due to the allergic reaction. The af options are here if needed.
Keep going folks, chin up Britain.

Checking in 🙌

@EileenFH hi, when I was drinking I fell asleep quickly but woke up at 3 with pounding heart, catastrophising and needing to pee. Now (29 days in) it takes me one or two hours to fall asleep despite feeling comfortable and calm. I read childrens stories on my kindle (occasionally I read very gentle adult fiction) as in Enid Blyton and Arthur Ransome until I feel sleepy.

@EileenFH welcome to you and I’m sure others will have tips and experiences on sleep (or lack of it!)
@ChampooPapi 👍

Hello new people
Funny how things work out. Today we were meant to have friends over. They cancelled. One of them is ill. My dh has been all fidgety all day, doesn't know what to do with himself and he's been passing the vibe onto me
He's itching for a fight and I'm trying my hardest not to rise to the bait but it's hard work maintaining my exterior of sweetness and light
I'm not craving a drink as such but I'm recognising that it's not going to be there later tonight when I'd normally have a drink.

I just spent my saved money from not drinking on an instant pot. (Been thinking about one for a year.)
Trying to keep myself busy sorting the kitchen to make space for it but I used to much energy yesterday because of hospital appointment.....I should be recharging but I'm being silly again.

Sometimes the day feels so long. If I go to bed before 10.30pm I can't get to sleep! I go at 11.00pm. Play Ludo on my iPad and listen to a book. Makes me sleepy. Then I switch off, lie down but keep my book playing for another 30-45 mins. If I wake during the night, I listen to my book again. I tend to listen to favourite books on repeat.

Hope you are all getting a bit of sun and are able to enjoy it xx

@Namechanged12344
I had to check. I'm on day 34 now, so that means you're on 33, right? I must say the last few days have been the hardest and I feel STRONG for not giving in to serious temptation. 👊

Happy Saturday to you all. xx