The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@ChampooPapi Hi and thanks for asking.
I would love to say I'm 36 days AF but I would be lying due to a couple of slip ups. It seems so stupid to have succumbed as it was just a couple of drinks when sitting outside in the pub with my husband (not the neck a couple of bottles of wine type of drinking). If only I could moderate like that all of the time but like many of us it just doesn't work so I remain committed to the cause of being AF.
I am making small and long overdue changes in my life like saying NO when I'm being told ' a couple of drinks won't hurt'! Also choosing not to be pressured in to going out to pubs when I no longer enjoy it. I must be growing up!!!!!!!

Thank you everyone. Your kind words last night made me cry.

I didn't drink. I kind of knew I wouldn't to be honest. But, I did succumb to old patterns of self sabotage with binge eating. I'm not too worried about it though. It's the least of my concerns. And i didn't do it as badly as I used to do. I just ate a pile of crap on a Friday night after a shit few days while also navigating some heavy work, no big deal. There is a lot to unpick on self sabotaging behaviours and a lot of this is what my child is going through. For another time though.

The issue I'm dealing with is going to be a long haul, there's no getting away from it. My child has and has always had some pretty complex needs and every now and again something new rears it's head and we think "fuck- here we go again". It will be life long for us as parents but I have to remember that much more so for them. It must be a hard and lonely place in their head. I wish I had the answers.

It's exhausting and with this new revelation we are lost as to how to manage it. And that's never fun as a parent, we just want to make things right for our children. But, we're out of our depth without any support. At least dh and I are a team and I have a wonderful friend that is a great outlet for me to talk to.

And, I do feel supported by you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Checking in on Day 700. Big slobberly kisses to you @Breathmiller

And for anyone that needs it

Afternoon all. Sorry not able to post for a few days. My phone doesn't reconise mumsnet at the mo so had to drag the computer out! Code 400 bad action?

Had a mighty binge on Wednesday and a blip, however half way through I stopped? Never done that before....

Re sleeping, I sleep so much better AF. I am a big woman however try fish and bananas if you can't sleep. I have a nutrition qualification ( didn't stop be being obese) but both produce serotonin. Worth a try if you can't do hot milk. Tuna sandwich or mashed banana.
@Breathmiller We have a 18 year old with gender issues, all sparked by bullying and internet 'friends'. It has had a massive impact on our family for 4 years. We haven't found a happy path yet for her or us. We take one day at a time. I used drink not to deal with it but I have now chosen a sober path because it was easier to help her. She hated my drinking.
I am also continuing with my Thursday therapy but given up the laser as the girl burnt me!

With regard to all day booze fests I am taking Gordons AF to all the Summer dos. £14 yes, but I would usually take a £12 bottle of wine . Quite a few friends are converts. Also buying huge lemons as the smell so nice.
Good luck all x

@HangingOver day 700. Wowser, what a milestone. Congratulations.

@SavBbunny I despair of raising young children (especially my NT DD) there is so much more to navigate and they are open to so many different influences. I am actually quite afraid if the years ahead. So I commend you for all you have been dealing with.

I am sure you are a wonderful and supportive mum.

Blips happen.... Its what we do with them that counts?

I have a disabled DC and her arrival (rare genetic condition discovered shortly after birth) was the start of my descent into the madness. She is 4 now and doing better than I could have ever imagined and I'm only just beginning to get myself together. We do what we have to do to cope and then we do what we have to to to find new and better ways to cope. We never stop learning and trying?

Sorry to hear you're going through difficulties with your daughter savB. It's certainly not easy for young people these days. Throw in some extra vulnerabilities like ND and some medicated health issues and it can easily spiral. Which it has. Again. It's a long path indeed. And hard. And I thought we were getting somewhere. But, sadly it seems not.

Wine is not the answer. Wine is not the answer. Wine is not the answer.

Wow @HangingOver you are amazing! You were such an inspiration to me when I started here, thank you and Congratulations 🎉

@Breathmiller thinking of you. Hope today is going better.

@champoopapi thank you for asking! My daughter was hurt in an “accident” at school which I think everyone knows wasn’t really an accident, but at least she is mending well and was still able to go on a school thing this weekend albeit with some mods. Then my dh whacked a toe really badly at a sports thing. It’s not broken I don’t think but sprained/bruised but of course all the weekend plans are now changed. The wine witch has been pretty vocal over the last few days to be honest. I’ve decided that when she says “you’ve had such a stressful time, you really deserve a gin, and clearly you can moderate because you haven’t drunk in over 500 days” what she actually means to say is “gosh what a rubbish week you’re having. Why not make a cup of tea and sit down for a few minutes to think about any ways you can make the next few days easier on yourself?”

hello to @Juliecloud and good luck to everyone finding a sunny holiday weekend a challenge.

"gosh what a rubbish week you’re having. Why not make a cup of tea and sit down for a few minutes to think about any ways you can make the next few days easier on yourself?”

Yes, thank you blackberryblossom that's what the true translation is. I'm just not hearing it right.
Sorry, you are having a crap week.

hangingover fabulous news* *on 700 days. You have done so well. Well done! 🥳🥳

I'm going to make myself a cup of tea. I can't face eating. But tea will be good.

Massive congrats to @HangingOver on 700 days!!!

sending strength to anyone dealing with difficult issues with children. It’s so hard when they struggle, but so much easier to cope with sober.

keep going all.

@Crunchymum
People such as you have my utmost respect and admiration.

this thread seems to be full of strong, capable women. I guess We should try not to beat ourselves up for getting addicted to an addictive substance. I’m on Day 7 now. I still Haven’t convinced myself that I’ll do it. So many of my friendships are all about boozing together. I’m everyone’s drinking buddy it seems.

Things feeling a bit easier here today, hope there is some respite from challenging times for others too.

I have caught the swimming bug. Just had such a fun session with DS10. I have been leaving the fun stuff for dh to do with him and I've been old lady swimming with my head out the water (I have a huge pile of dreads and no desire to get my face wet). But i cut my dreads in half, got myself some goggles and have been doing forward rolls, front crawl and we played some water volleyball. This is an addictive behaviour I could get used to.

Thank you bunnies for your inspiration. I can't believe I have missed out on this fun for years.

So glad you’re feeling a bit better @Breathmiller and that you’re enjoying swimming! I too took my kids to the pool today and something about being in the water with them just lifts my mood so much (and theirs).

BTW I’ve seen people with a huge pile of dreads use a special swim hat to keep them dry! Obviously it might not be for you if you don’t like getting your face wet anyway, but I just thought I would mention it.

I’ve been awful myself in April barely doing any exercise, it was just illness after family crisis after work disasters it seemed! In May I plan to get out a little more for my runs and swims, I rely on them so much to keep me sane.

AND I have the vague ambition to clear out my wardrobe (it’s such a mess!). But let’s see if that actually happens…

Ps I used to be a giggle hater but now I love them and never swim without them!

Sorry got to be a quick one, but need to keep accountable

Checking in 🙌

@Breathmiller

Sorry lost that last post and only justamanaged to check back in

@@Breathmiller glad to read you have gone and done the swim thing with your son, it's so great isn't ithad some tranquil time

Sorry my phone is totally up the creak and keeps posting automatically as well as typing random letters and joining words together.

I was trying to say swimming is great for the soul! Even with small children and it's so tiring i always sleep so well after going with the girls. Hope you have a tranquil evening @Breathmiller and all you wonderful folk on this thread.

I'm hitting the hay now, my knuckles are unclenching after this bank holiday and I'm ready to see the back of it and welcome the new week and new month 🙏

Hi everyone! Happy Sunday. Just checking in as had a kind of semi win, semi fail yesterday. Went to the BBQ and had a great time, sun was shining and 40-odd people were there, mostly existing friends I hadn't seen for a while but also some new people.

A few hours in, my errant brain persuaded me that one bottle of beer would be fine. I opened it and had a few sips before realising that (a) it was making me feel worse rather than better (mentally I mean), and (b) the sugar-free Lilt that I'd been drinking up until then actually tasted nicer. So I switched back to the Lilt. No pangs of alcohol-envy etc and nobody even commented on the fact I wasn't drinking, and I managed to stay up having fun until the early hours. I know I should technically feel like that was a failure/lapse but I really do feel loads more positive - like I CAN have fun and socialise and I DON'T need alcohol to do so. And today I've been knackered due to lack of sleep but not hungover. So yes, I think I'm counting that as a win, even if it's technically not, and am feeling a lot more confident that next time I won't have the urge at all.

Morning all

@SAB10 sounds like a win to me too and glad you had a good time at the BBQ.
@Breathmiller sorry you're struggling sounds like you're having it tough.

I like swimming when it's in a hot country with a really clean pool but I struggle with the local pools round here - and the cold, miserable changing rooms- it feels like torture. I'm envious of people that have so much fun at them.

I'm finishing a big piece of work today so will be starting that shortly.

I went to bed early last night feeling nauseous but feel okish today.

Hope everyone has a great day whatever you have planned

That was definitely, 100% a win @SAB10

I'm glad you managed to have a good time without drinking.

I've been feeling really flat the past few days. Bored, restless, fed up. Nothing has happened, no trigger etc. Just the sheer monotonous grind is getting to me. Everyday day is like bloody groundhog day no matter what we do. The joys of parenting little ones is how mundane it can be. They need to be bathed and fed, washing needs to be done and homework and housework and on and on the list goes. I'm on my own so it's quite relentless.

I am not totally sure if my current feelings are related to being AF or not? But wine always featured at weekends / BH / when the kids didn't have to be up early for school so there is an element of missing it I guess? The promise of wine had got me through many a boring, monotonous day. I'm not actually missing drinking but subconsciously I think I'm having a moment!!

I'm nearly 80 days AF and there is no way I'm going to crack. It wouldn't be worth it. I'd just be feeling restless and shit with a hangover / alcohol related anxiety.

It looks like rain but I'm going to get us all dressed and out for a walk. I've been trying to hit my 10k steps and I'm using MFP again. I lost 5lbs last week (I'm very overweight though - I have several stones to lose!)

I just have no mojo this weekend.

Morning all.

No parties here. Went to watch the new Downton movie. Husband suffered it but had a pint!
Bed shopping this morning.
Faux gin tonight which I haven't had as I was getting up for a pee too much!

My weight loss has slowed down now@Crunchymum
To date 18 lbs but that has taken 3 months. I have scoffed a bit this last month whilst I struggled with 'shall I moderate or not?' conversations in my head.

A bit of a presentation to do for the potential new employer then perhaps I can have a decision? Otherwise I am going up against them all with some crowd funding, GirlPower and all that.

Have a good day my friends.

Well done @SAB10

i hope you’re all well.

I drank last night with friends… a lot. I ended up on my knees vomiting and I slept on the bathroom floor. I’m so ashamed.

the only positive is that NOW I’m finally sure that alcohol has no place in my life anymore. I’m finally sure that I have to let it go and move on.

Today though I have a splitting headache and a sore stomach. I feel horrendous to be honest! Maybe this account will help others remember how it’s just not worth it. Please don’t judge me. I genuinely want to quit.

Ahh @Nouveaunew don't be ashamed and don't feel judged! All of us have been there and the fact that you've come back to post shows strength and determination. Come back and re-read this post every time you're tempted, that has worked for me in the past x