The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

How are you doing @Blackberryblossom? Have you managed to sort things or is it ongoing ? Hope your alright 💜

Ugh I'm struggling today. Have made plans to go to a friend's for a BBQ on Saturday - lots of friends I haven't seen for ages are going to be there and are all excitedly planning a full day of booze and food (starting with Bloody Marys in the morning...).

What I WANT is to feel empowered that I don't have any need or desire to centre my social life around alcohol, but instead I'm just thinking how much fun it sounds (as well as anticipating all the questions about why I'm not partaking 😖).

I will be strong, but it's hard today!

My husband has also just asked me if I'm going to be drinking on Sat, and then queried whether I could have 'just one or two' when I said no (he should really know by now that's not an option!)

You’ll be fine Sab10 go with a positive mindset that you’ll be getting up Sunday with energy and remembering everything. If you drink you’ll get the 3am regerts and fell shite all day Sunday and probably not remember if you actually had a good time in the end.

Day 5. Delighted to have made it here.

@Kindtomyself and @Onewildandpreciouslife

I’m exhausted too — truly deeply tired. It’s been an intense week of long hours at work though so I don’t think it’s all alcohol-related. I don’t think I’ve ever quit for long enough to reach the euphoric phase!

im very much an emotional eater. I’ve already had 7 biscuits today & will have fish & chips & coke for dinner but to be honest, it’s still an improvement on how I used to eat.

I really feel like alcohol was wrecking me. I wish I didn’t find moderation such a challenge.

Checking in 🙌

I’m currently wide awake. This is why I started drinking most nights. It knocked me out and helped me sleep. Nothing else works. I’ve tried over the counter stuff but found them completely ineffective. I’ve had sleeping tablets from the GP but they won’t give me any more 😭
I’m not going to have a drink now though. Day 10 for me today. This is the longest I’ve gone without booze for the best part of a year.

Morning

@Juliecloud sorry that you didn't have a great sleep. I was awake quite a few times last night. As you know alcohol might knock you out but you don't have a proper nourishing sleep. What's keeping you awake do you think? Is it an active mind? I use visualisation techniques to calm my mind. I have also found lavender pillow spray useful. Exercising is really helpful too. Hope you managed to get some sleep.

I have spoken to my therapist about my eating and she has explained (which is obvious to me now) that I am emotional eating which is linked to unmet needs in childhood and I'm trying to fill the void. So when I have the empty feeling in my stomach and I will be checking in with myself to see whether it is hunger or emotions, eating might give the impression that the emotional emptiness is filled but it will pop back very soon. Even though I am eating healthily it is not helping the empty feeling and I am going to be paying attention to it from now on.

Woah - I got hit by a really intense craving last night. I’ve had two really tough days at work and I was in the corner shop at 9pm getting some food when I walked down the wine aisle. Gah! All those shiny cold bottles that I could just take home and pull the plug on all the stress … It would have been so easy …Somehow I found the strength to just keep walking - I think it’s because it’s just over a week until I hit 50 days, and I really want to get there!

Good luck tomorrow @SAB10 . Your DH really isn’t helping, is he?! You know you don’t want Sunday to be day 1, so you can decide now not to drink, and that’s one stress taken out the way. The tricky bit is deciding what mindset is going to make tomorrow the most positive experience for you. I find playing it forward quite helpful - I know that I’ll enjoy, at most, the first half of a drink, after that it’s a slippery slope of when and how I can get another drink, and monitoring myself to see if I can hold off the point when I’m ridiculously drunk (which I usually can’t and then wake up to DH’s quiet disapproval that I’ve embarrassed myself again).

Though perhaps that’s just me😁

Mind you, all the quit lit tells us that a large percentage of the population is worried about their drinking. So I would put money on there being at least one of your friends getting stressed about tomorrow because they’ll think it’ll pan out like my days used to. And maybe they’ll look at you tomorrow and think you’re glorious because you are having fun and not drinking.

@Kindtomyself thanks for posting that resonates for me in relation to unmet needs. A hollow feeling which can be perceived as hunger but may well be a longing for something else. Are you able to share what your therapist suggested instead of eating/drinking? I’m thinking would journaling or mindfulness act as a temporary pause. Good luck with your work to understand yourself better, such a useful but challenging project.

@Juliecloud missing sleep has a really negative impact for me so sort to hear you are suffering. Day 10 is a big achievement and you’ve got a two week marker in sight.
last night was my first full nights sleep for some weeks and I feel much better for it. I’m going to continue with less screen use, Pukka sleepy tea, ear plugs and a sleep app as the combination does work for me when I adhere to it.

hope you have a good day and a better sleep tonight - stay focused on your goal.

@ChampooPapi morning! How are you feeling today? Thanks for checking in - always makes me smile when I see your 🙌🏼

Thank you for that post oneandwild. I needed to hear all that too. It's unlikely that I will act on it but we had a bit of a shock yesterday about a problem that we thought had resolved itself regarding my older son. I have been totally floored by it and how to deal with it. Just when I thought life was feeling a bit easier. And then as these things do I got something else fairly big thrown at me a few hours later. I was then up in the middle of the night with my younger son having had a night terror and I have had little sleep as I needed to stay in with him. I felt so angry last night which I rarely do these days and then just knocked by it all. That voice in my head said "fuck it! It would be good to obliterate it all out of my head with wine!" I won't, I imagine. But, it was there. And it made me sad that it could still be there. I am angry, I am sad, I am hurt and I am scared for my (just turned adult) child's future and our relationship. I fucking hate the internet and what it tells our young people.

Sorry, for this post. I'm just floored.

I’m so sorry @Breathmiller - that sounds really tough. Be kind to yourself today - just focus on what you have to get done. Lack of sleep really robs us of our capacity to cope (as does wine, but you already know that! Well done for holding on)

@Breathmiller gosh that sounds like a whole of emotion and issues to deal with at once. Can only say I hope you are gentle with yourself today and that you get some sleep tonight. Perhaps as you consider all the implications and effects of yesterday a way forward will emerge. Wishing you strength during what sounds like a tough time.

@Breathmiller that sounds so hard. I hope today is an easier day for you x

Thanks @Fortheloveofgodwhy and @Onewildandpreciouslife. I will be fine tomorrow - I've booked a yoga class and a haircut for Sunday morning that I'm looking forward to, so that'll help keep me sober - no way I'd make it to either with a hangover! I definitely need a proper chat to DH though - I think it's finally sinking in that his 'drinking buddy' is actually gone forever and not just temporarily...

@Juliecloud I have chronic insomnia too (have had since I was a teenager) and I think the whole 'knocking myself out with booze' has always been a major factor in my drinking. I even used to make sure there was always one can or one glass of wine's worth left in the house when going to bed so I could have that if I woke at night and couldn't sleep! I know you said you've tried all the OTC meds but have you tried Nytol One-A-Night? That's the only thing other than prescription sleeping pills that's ever helped me (and trust me, I've tried every herbal remedy/hypnosis/meditation/room spray/sleep app etc etc going!).

Well done everyone for keeping at it, sounds like a lot of us are finding it tough at the moment for various reasons x

@Breathmiller I hope today brings some positives. Sounds like a whole load of shit was thrown about for you.

Sending strength to you @Breathmiller
Your children are lucky to have such a wise & caring mum.

About the voice - I think it’s normal to hear it when you’re stressed. I heard it yesterday too, loud and clear. It doesn’t mean you WANT alcohol or that alcohol is still important to you. It just means that at desperate times your body and mind will try to turn to old coping mechanisms. But you’re stronger than the voice and you know it!!!

Just because you hear that voice sometimes doesn’t mean it’s important and it doesn’t mean that you are weak/alcohol is strong. It is very normal to want to numb the pain when you’re in pain. Don’t give it too much thought. Hang in there. Hope things get easier for you soon.

@Breathmiller
sounds so tough. 💐

@SAB10
Good luck. To be honest I wouldn’t be able for a day like that & I wouldn’t enjoy it either. I know cancelling might seem extreme but it’s probably what I’d do right now but maybe your resolve is stronger than mine.

Day 6. First Friday in 10,000 years that I won’t be drinking

@AlloftheTime makes me smile to see your user name 💜

@Breathmiller it sounds very upsetting and incredibly stressful, you have been coping and have been so strong for everyone, your whole family, I hope you are getting the support too. Sending hand grip of connection and sisterhood to you 💜

Checking in 🙌 day six

Let's get through this bank holiday in one piece people ! White knuckling this end 😬

Hey everyone, 10 weeks today!!! Had a great appointment yesterday, liver results improving.

Popped over my neighbour (who i had many a drunken evening) to tell her the good news.................bizarrely her first words were........oh great, can you have a drink now things are improving?? I was like errrrr i think that would defeat the object!!

It's mad how we have all normalised drinking alcohol (me included before my liver issues) and think not drinking is unusual and we are the strange ones <<<

@BraveFaceScaredInside good news indeed and well done on 10 weeks!
and yes people do say daft things….

@Breathmiller you are always one of the first people who offers support to new and returning posters.
I hope all goes well for you x

Congrats on your 10 weeks @BraveFaceScaredInside and that is such good news about your liver results!

I hope everyone has a nice BH weekend & @Breathmiller I hope you feel a bit brighter today.

Congratulations on reaching this milestone @BraveFaceScaredInside, fantastic!

@Horlicks4me how are you doing? Good to see you ☺️