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Alcohol support

The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

972 replies

Adm1010 · 23/01/2022 13:06

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life Smile

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages Grin

OP posts:
SavBbunny · 24/01/2022 18:46

Evening all.
I got a bit tearful reading the newbies.
Shame needs to see the light (I think it is in the Bryony Gordon book).
My issues around alcohol are based on shame. Other people's judgement can make you feel shit. The first step is honesty.
If you are on this thread I would think you acknowledge you can't control your drinking. My friends say 'can you not just have a glass?' No, a bottle yes!
My husband has been embarrassed by my behaviour many times but he recognises it is an illness. I have accepted I am alcohol dependent (never admitted before this thread) and that has helped me.
Just tried another af wine (crap, torres). Should have soent the £5 on a steak.

Drybird2020 · 24/01/2022 19:19

@SavBbunny I am so sorry about your baby boy xxxx

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 24/01/2022 19:47

Welcome all newbies!
@SavBbunny I am so sorry you lost a baby son. That is a huge trauma, and it is unsurprising you have used drink/food to cope. It must be really difficult to write it all down. You have done amazingly to give up alcohol. Haven’t got much else to say other than to say I have been so impressed with your progress and attitude and I think you’re great.
It can take a long time to “restore” ourselves when we quit drinking, but you will get there, just keep going.

HangingOver · 24/01/2022 19:51

streaks nude across the thread chucking sweets and B Vitimins

Daily reminder that you're all fab, lads! The only way is up! Grin

SavBbunny · 24/01/2022 20:11

@Drybird2020
@BunniesBunniesBunnies

Thank you both so much.

@HangingOver
I love your expressions, lads! Very Marion Keynes - new book out next month , half price if you reserve on Amazon.

I am still walking around with my tongue hanging out. Just going to hit the fruit.

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 24/01/2022 20:36

@HangingOver😂😂😂😂

streaks nude across the thread chucking sweets and B Vitimins I just love this😂😂😂

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 24/01/2022 20:37

Ps @SavBbunny I eat so much fruit since I quit booze! Whole melons, kiwis, lots of apples etc. Makes me feel so good.
Multivits and lots of water help too.

HangingOver · 24/01/2022 22:21

Very Marion Keynes - new book out next month , half price if you reserve on Amazon

I've already pre ordered!!! Every time I'm feeling tempted I re-listen to Rachel....patron saint of piss artists.

Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 22:32

Just pre ordered it . Loved Rachel’s holiday

OP posts:
LowlyTheWorm · 24/01/2022 22:38

Hello 👋 I don’t think that I belong here but I wondered if I might. I haven’t had specific alcohol issues but I think I have an addictive type of nature. I describe myself as all or nothing. I couldn’t have a box of wine in the house as I would just keep having a glass of wine- until the box was empty. That would take days, but I’d not be able to say “no wine til the weekend” etc. Does that make sense?
Recently I’ve noticed if I even have one drink I feel ill. I’ve just posted on AIBU to see if it would make sense to be tee total as I don’t think alcohol is agreeing with me any more.
I love the HALT acronym someone shared earlier in this thread… I will use it with my eating now for sure as I am an over eater… as I said, all or nothing…

Touty · 24/01/2022 23:25

Checking in 👍

I am feeling good for being AF, the cravings seem to have disappeared. The habit of drinking every night has gone.

However, what is not easy, is sitting with feelings when sober; that is still challenging.

Too much thinking. I've realised that I am doing this for myself, because I want to improve myself and treat myself better. I initially thought I should go AF for DH who hates alcohol and doesn't drink at all, it used to cause so many problems at home. I was not looking after myself pouring poison down my throat every night. I find it almost akin to being a mother to ones self. I didn't have any nurturing as a child, so perhaps it's time I addressed that by giving the adult child the care and love that she missed out on.

But all this sitting with feelings when sober has really shone a light in the fact that I'm often unhappy and unfulfilled in this relationship, we don't seem to have much in common and I feel there isn't much companionship and even sex. I guess alcohol was my companion and a way to numb my feelings of discontentment.

Sorry if this is too TMI, maybe I'm going off the point a bit but I do feel the it's all connected. The other thing is I find that writing my thoughts and feelings down here to be therapeutic.

A few people have mentioned having no off switch with alcohol etc. I find that I cannot keep any alcohol in the house at all now, it's the only way I can maintain sobriety.

LowlyTheWorm · 25/01/2022 01:40

@Touty
I didn't have any nurturing as a child, so perhaps it's time I addressed that by giving the adult child the care and love that she missed out on.

That’s a fab way to look at it and sounds like you’re well on the way… how would you advise your child in the future if she or he felt this way in their relationship? Would your husband want to work on changing things? Would you? You deserve to be happy…and I think you will guide yourself there by continuing as you are… Flowers

Adm1010 · 25/01/2022 07:32

Morning @Touty it’s those feelings again isn’t it . I so relate to this . Being sober shines a big shiny light on us and our relationships . I hope you can quietly and honestly figure what you need . Life is short . We need to be happy xx
For my part the relationships I’m looking at through sober eyes are my “ friendships “ I’m beginning to see I have no actual friends . It’s hurting me a lot and “ sitting with it “ isn’t easy . Whilst I’m dealing with the feelings though I’m trying to focus on the people in my life who are “ real “ . This isn’t easy

OP posts:
Adm1010 · 25/01/2022 07:33

@LowlyTheWorm welcome to the thread

OP posts:
MagratLancre · 25/01/2022 07:50

Good morning all. Can I join you please? Only day 2 for me after a dry Jan blip bit I'm determined now to cut booze out of my life. The headaches, anxiety, and moodswings just from a few glasses aren't worth it. Started re reading The Naked Mind, which is helping incredibly.

Adm1010 · 25/01/2022 08:18

Morning @MagratLancre

OP posts:
PromisesMeanNothingSue · 25/01/2022 08:56

Checking in. Thanks for the new thread @Adm1010.

Approaching the 90 day milestone now. Smile

The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!
SavBbunny · 25/01/2022 09:17

Morning all.

Just tried to eat a big bowl of porridge without sugar or cream. Tasted like wallpaper paste!
Tea is slipping down well.
@Touty not TMI
My husband is not much of a goer but tbh he wouldn't want to take advantage of a drunken woman. Very old school, very honourable. As I had been on the piss more times than not it might be why there wasn't as much action! (sorry if too early for this folks, but I didn't want Touty to think her dp might not want /love her).

Friends? Hum. Fellow pissheads are great fun at the time especially if you are paying (7 bottles between 4 at my last birthday lunch) however do they support you?
I have the coffee morning from hell coming up Friday. An old friend from the children's school days. Was a wonderful friend but now has a vicious tongue and loves me to be financially hard up (she is wealthy). Everything I do is commented on and she polices my Facebook. She became friends with a woman who hurt me years ago. I see this person in her interactions with me. Historically I have gone to these events hungover or straight home to get pissed. I should really say no.
Day 17 and proud of myself.

Adm1010 · 25/01/2022 09:22

@SavBbunny I love your honesty and the way you cut through the nitty gritty . This honesty we have on here is going to help the healing . Thankyou

OP posts:
Adm1010 · 25/01/2022 09:23

@PromisesMeanNothingSue brilliant! Well done on the milestone

OP posts:
Kindtomyself · 25/01/2022 12:04

Morning all. Welcome @MagratLancre and @LowlyTheWorm.

@Touty and @Adm1010 you're definitely not alone with the feelings stuff. It's so hard, I feel like I'm unraveling- it's the onion metaphor for life and growth. I'm pretty sure that my physical ailments or some of them are linked to emotions. I'm feeling more positive today but did have an eruption this morning when the chaos of the house made me feel kind of blocked. The kids will be coming home from school and facing a pile of miscellaneous stuff on their beds that I have piled there. I felt so much better afterwards.
I am dealing with lots of stuff related to my husband too but that has been paused while I am trying to feel better physically. Observing myself and the journey I am going through is fascinating but tricky when it's me having to do it.

Oh @Touty journaling is really helpful. I haven't been writing for the last few weeks I just couldn't bring myself to do it for some reason and I wonder whether that's related to me feeling poorly.

Kindtomyself · 25/01/2022 12:08

Just thought I'd add these words from DailyOM as they seemed so relevant.

With each numbing activity that you cut out of your life, you'll find yourself being more aware and experiencing a greater emotional acuity. Senses once shrouded by the fog of numbness become sharp and acute. Traumas and pain long hidden will emerge to the forefront of your consciousness and reveal themselves so that you can heal them. You'll discover a deeper you -- a self that is comfortable experiencing and working through intense emotions with courage and grace.

Adm1010 · 25/01/2022 13:14

Thanks for that @Kindtomyself , and “ unravelling “ is a good way of explaining it .

Having a productive morning . Clearing out the spare room as we are hosting this weekend for a family party . My eldest son is staying over and the room he uses when he stays has somehow morphed into a “ junk “ room Shock could barely get to the bed for crap!! Blush
And speaking of the party I want to bury this here . I have one sibling . The party is to celebrate a significant anniversary for our parents ( golden wedding ) . I’m hosting so all the cost of food booze cake etc is falling to me plus a gift . Now I do NOT begrudge my parents this , they are amazing parents , but I asked my sibling if he’d like to contribute to the party as it’s both out parents . ….. he sent me five pound by bank transfer . He’s very comfortably off . I’m not . It’s just really upset me and I’m struggling to rationalise it .

OP posts:
Adm1010 · 25/01/2022 13:17

I should add regarding my spare room , it was never my sons room , he has never lived in this house with us . We moved here after he had been moved out a couple of years . I know it looks like I turned his bedroom into a junk room without explaining that!!

OP posts:
SavBbunny · 25/01/2022 14:37

@Adm1010

£5, is he a bit tuppence short?
I cared for both my parents, gave up six figure jobs, my sister bought cake, 2 for £4 in the co op when she visited once a fortnight. Stay two hours. When he died I went on a bender. Buns and booze. Had a bit of CBT. Worked for a bit.
At least you won't be drinking so you can watch the tight fisted git.
Look fabulous, put it towards a new lipstick.

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