Day 1

[moochies]

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

@MissConductUS thanks for coming on the thread. It does help to know lots of people do manage to stop. I’m on day 18 here and not really missing it at all, which is a first ever. Well done everyone else.

Day 4 done. First real test I think…. Had a really big presentation today of a project at work. It was really well received, and I got a lot of praise and a pay rise. And my brains first thought? Bloody wine. I CAN CELEBRATE! Wow…. Those pathways are well ingrained.

Celebrating with Diet Coke 😂

Well done and congratulations @LynnDaBogTrotter

Well done @LynnDaBogTrotter. I've caught Covid off my dd which should help me stay off it for a few days

Morning all. Day 17 here

Congrats to @LynnDaBogTrotter and @Lushmetender on job success! And double congrats for not celebrating with booze

How is everyone getting on? Thinking of you today @MinnieJackson

Oh no @teaandtoastwithmarmite how are you feeling?

Not too bad thanks @afaloren. I had it in November as well would you believe so I'm feeling achy and tired but compared to how i felt the first time it's not too bad. Thank you for asking

All the best for today @MinnieJackson. We're all here for you x

best of luck today @MinnieJackson.

I'm still going strong. Day 22. Have a friend staying for a couple of days and would normally have a few drinks with her but I feel pretty zen about just not. I'm trying not to think too much about forever and ever - just staying in the moment. Thanks to everyone who posts on this thread. I am finding it a real support.

Well done @justforthis21

Hi all, well done everyone for keeping this going!

teaandtoast have you tried pine trail 0% IPA from big drop brewery? It's so good for alcohol free beer. You can order it online.

I was thinking about this thread tonight, I'm on day 26 and tonight is my first night home alone since I stopped. It occurred to me that I don't have the worry of hiding empty bottles and take away boxes before DH gets home, which I used to worry about - putting bottles under things in the recycling bin, and hiding pizza boxes.

Occasionally I'd come down in the morning and find an empty bottle left out or a slice of pizza down the side of the bin or something and think fuck, I'm not hiding it well enough. It's nice to not have to do that!

@moochies

Hi all, well done everyone for keeping this going!

teaandtoast have you tried pine trail 0% IPA from big drop brewery? It's so good for alcohol free beer. You can order it online.

I was thinking about this thread tonight, I'm on day 26 and tonight is my first night home alone since I stopped. It occurred to me that I don't have the worry of hiding empty bottles and take away boxes before DH gets home, which I used to worry about - putting bottles under things in the recycling bin, and hiding pizza boxes.

Occasionally I'd come down in the morning and find an empty bottle left out or a slice of pizza down the side of the bin or something and think fuck, I'm not hiding it well enough. It's nice to not have to do that!

I'd forgotten about my late night takeaway orders. At stupid times too, I was ready to go to bed hammered but had to wait up for cheesy chips and a garlic bread. I'm sat with a fizzy wqter and it's so nice to know I'll be fresh and clear headed in the morning. And I've been eating a lot better! Lost 3lb!

Good morning! Hope everyone is doing ok.... Seems like you're all doing amazingly well. Day 22 here and still on the wagon. As usual dreading Friday night after a stressful week at work but hoping I can distract myself again from the wine cravings. Still putting on weight which is quite disheartening but just using chocolate and cake to fill the void which I can't do without right now

Morning @firefly123 and everyone else. 22 days is amazing!

Day 18 here. I had a drs appt this morning and was able to say I’m not currently drinking at all

Amazing progress here!

Gosh yes, I don't miss the "hiding". I was so  about all the bottles i got through I used to buy wine boxes - with the excuse "it works out cheaper"  but really it was so it was easier to hide the amount and I didn't have the guilt about opening a physical second bottle etc, it was literally "on tap" and easier to replace a box unobtrusively than it was to get rid of/replace multiple bottles. It's like having three gin and tonics and then a bottle of wine and two more G and Ts but you can say "well at least I didn't have a second bottle/I don't drink more than one bottle of wine a night and that's normal these days" etc.

I think there is definitely more "stigma" around AA in the UK @MissConductUS from what I read. I think a lot of people have issues with the God/higher power and don't realise it isn't religious. As well as the "I'm not bad enough for AA, that's literally for people on the street, I didn't even open a second bottle last night...."

One day at a time etc etc, but I actively don't want to drink these days. It's not a hardship or a big struggle not to drink, if that makes sense. It would be like putting my hand in the fire, I don't want to and I don't need to tell myself not to. But I still take the time to practice the "thankfulness" every single morning that I didn't drink last night and don't want to drink today, I think it helps keep me in that frame of mind.

It does get so much easier compared to the early days. So much of my mind space was taken up with thinking about drinking, and guilt, and regret, and planning and more guilt....

Hi everyone,
You're all doing so well. Day 26 for me.
@moochies thanks so much for the tip. I will try them

@firefly123 I'm also craving the crap food but at the minute I'm fine with it. I don't miss feeling like I need to eat toast at 1am because of the beer

Hi everyone I did post a couple of times at the beginning then had 1 relapse but it was bad. My poor DH was so worried about me. I drink to forget but actually the recovery is so damaging it's not worth it.

I am 13 days sober and honestly feel amazing, my skin is clearer but the best thing is my mind is clear. I was always worried about something and drink gave me the answer 🙄. Anyway MH is so much improved. Sleep is amazing I just feel peaceful. I am just doing one day at a time as I have been here before. I must do this, this time I am too old and my DC/DH deserve so much better.

I love reading all of your suggestions and experiences it is nice to know I am not always alone. Anyway must go to bed I have a 13 hour day tomorrow and, I am not dreading it like I normally do. Hope you all have a restful and peaceful weekend.

Hi @Rupertpenrysmistress sorry to hear you have been through a tough time but glad to hear you're out the other side. You're doing really great

Well done on overcoming your relapse @Rupertpenrysmistress . I feel exactly like you -just putting one foot in front of the other, taking each day at a time and trying not to think further ahead. Even though I do feel better and sleep better and feel less anxious, I do really miss wine in the evenings... especially Friday and Saturday. I wonder if that will ever going away. Have been having dreams lately where I am drinking and wake up in a panic! It's so weird.

Everyone is doing so well!! I'm finding today - well now - hard as I've had a falling out with family (long time coming) and wine was my go to to relax. I'm going to make a healthy dinner and then relax in the bath with my Neom bath bubbles.

Hi everyone. @Bizzywater sorry to hear things are difficult. Enjoy your bath!

I’ve just had my first serious wobble. I was very close to putting a slug of gin in my 7Up Free but then it took me ages to light the fire and by the time I’d finished my 7Up was gone and so was the craving. I feel good about that! Having a very rock and roll cup of tea instead. Day 19

Well done @afaloren for swerving the temptation! Have managed to avoid the booze again too! Enjoying the some alcohol free beer watching the Masked Singer with my kids! Makes a change from falling asleep on the sofa as I used to after a wine or ten!. Well done everyone for keeping going.. Think we should be so proud of ourselves

Well done ladies. You're all doing brilliantly. I had a wobble when I saw DH had bought some brew dog Lost Lager which I like but I'm finding my 0% Heineken really refreshing.