Day 1

[moochies]

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

What a lovely garden @MissConductUS
I feel a bit weepy today, how silly. Day 7 nearly complete.
do you speak to your son about alcohol or any of your experiences?

The garden looks a lot better in the spring and summer. I have some lovely flowering cacti there, which tends to surprise people.

My kids don't drink, mostly because they grew up in a house where neither of us drinks and they never came to see it as normal. I have told them that there is a history of alcoholism in the family so that if they ever do want to drink, they must do so very cautiously with that in mind. I don't think they need all of the gruesome details of my own addiction and recovery.

I’m on day 8.

Not going to lie, I’m really struggling this evening (and it’s only 4.30!)

I don’t know what it is about Fridays.

Currently having a sprite instead.
Hope the craving passes.

@MissConductUS thank you for replying. Yes makes sense. There was alcoholism on both sides of my family aswell. My kids have just started watching the Simpsons and seem repelled and fascinated with Barney Humble and Homer. Do you think the threshold for getting professional help is lower in the US than the UK?
My husband's just gone to the pub for an hour before dinner. I'm going to get my pencils out as I haven't sketched for a long time.

Gosh yes Friday! Think my cravings have passed now and with my husbands unexplained pain, he is definitely up for DJ. I have a dull headache that I’ve had for days since DJ. I’m wondering if my glasses for reading are the right prescription as seems to resolve when I rest my eyes. Also my dad is here and with his pancreatic cancer, nothing more sobering to make you think about keeping dry. Don’t get me wrong, he never used to drink v much and now hasn’t drunk anything alcoholic for over a year but now I have that in my family history!!!

Arghh.. Friday night... major trigger time. Hope everyone coping. This is hard

@firefly123 agreed! My mum went to the shop and got me some full sugar coke bless her. It's like the anticipation is so much better then the actual event though. I like cleaning the house on Fridays, having a bath, putting on some make-up and having a few drinks. I'm sat very anxiously doing colouring in listening to Spotify. This will pass. Someone could put a drink infront of me now and I don't actually want it. I think it's the change of routine. can anyone recommend any sober podcasts?

@firefly123

Arghh.. Friday night... major trigger time. Hope everyone coping. This is hard

Same. I'm struggling this eve. I finish at 4 on Fridays and would usually have a few beers chilling in the fridge ready for log off time.

Not sure what to do now! I'm fed up with walks/baths/yoga/tv.

I loved a Friday evening drink.

I'm cracking open the 0% sparkling with a grumpy face 😡

I'm watching The Tourist with some alcohol free brew dog. Found myself thinking about a glass of wine earlier when I don't even like wine that much. Was drinking it quite a bit last summer and having awful headaches next day.

Thank you so much. It hasn't been easy at all. Lots of arguments with DH over irrelevant stuff, lots of crying and temptation to just walk to the shop and buy a bottle (or better yet, order one from UberEats 🤦‍♀️) but otherwise, all good so far.

Are you missing drinking? I didn't think I was, but today I'm grumpy and keep looking at the wine rack.

Yes. I am definitely missing drinking and as I said, it's taken everything in me not to walk to the shop or order a bottle of wine. But I'm persevering as best I can.

Glad to see you're doing well. It's the inspiration I need right now.

Try to avert your eyes away from that wine rack! Lol.

In bed, sober, husband's had a few but all good. I'm looking forward to a hangover free Saturday. I feel happy and content. I can't forget this. Well done everyone. One week sober!

@moochies

I'm cracking open the 0% sparkling with a grumpy face 😡

Sounds toughmoochies it seems these early days are very difficult to navigate. I have been listening to Annie Grace today it's so good to hear similar experiences which we can all relate to.

Not had any cravings today thank goodness, however I need to stop eating so much. I have just finished watching four lives, highly recommend it quite thought provoking and sad in equal measure.

Anyway you are all doing well it really is a battle, but, you are all winning. Keep going and look forward to waking up tomorrow hang over free.

It's midnight in the UK so I didn't really expect to see any activity on the thread, but here you all are.

The irritability is just another withdrawal symptom. I know that most of you aren't feeling great at the moment, but you're all making great progress and I am really proud of you. You just need to keep getting through it one day at a time.

Well done, ladies. 😊

I’m sober another night too! I’m hoping my dc stop thinking of me and wine @MissConductUS well done everyone. Keep
On keeping on.

Day 7 and watched a couple of episodes of discovery of witches. Kids going to drama tomorrow and so the clubs and life starts up again after Christmas. We had snow today! Really feeling sleepy! Hope I have a better natural nights sleep rather than taking a cocodamol!

@Lushmetender, I'm watching Discovery of Witches too! I just started so only on episode two. I noticed that it's going off Amazon Video at the end of the month, so it's first on my list.

I love British television shows!

Morning everyone. Does anyone have any plans for today? I'm worried about an upcoming funeral and how to get through it sober. It's in 12 days time. I'm so anxious, I actually have agoraphobia and alcohol has been 'helpful' with dealing with certain situations. I'm prescribed diazepam so I'm thinking I'll dose up and then I can't drink.

Morning all, going to see my mum today in the care home.

@MinnieJackson you can do it! Imagine going there and having a clear head. Alcohol on top of grief is not great anyway.

Good morning @MinnieJackson. That sounds really hard. I have not had to go to anything yet where there is alcohol so not sure how I would manage. Hopefully someone wiser who has been sober longer than my 8 days can provide some useful tips. Good luck though.. sending strength to you

Hi all. Just checking in to see how everyone is doing. Brilliantly by the sounds of it! ❤️ So sorry to hear about the funeral @MinnieJackson. I was worried about certain situations too when I gave up as I definitely used alcohol to “take the edge off”. All I can say is that it gets easier. I actually like being sober socially now. I don’t say stupid things, get into arguments and talk too much. And the anxiety has gone. I also no longer go to things I don’t want to. Funerals are different though. My advice would be to try not to worry. Maybe do some mindfulness, some visualisations. Are there people there who you like? Make a beeline for them. In terms of the emotions I think being sober actually makes them easier to deal with. They feel rawer but without the negatives of alcohol, you are in a better place mentally to cope.

Having said that I haven’t been through a bereavement alcohol free. My difficult points are when the kids are being difficult and weirdly holidays are still hard for me nearly 2 years in.

But it’s been transformational and I urge you to keep going. ❤️

@teaandtoastwithmarmite have a nice day with your mum. 💕

Sorry for all the love hearts. I am a soppy so and so

It's going to be tough. It's my husband's grandmother's funeral. It's going to be hard seeing my husband, but and mil upset, she was her main carer these past few years. I struggle with saying stupid things awkwardly without alcohol so that's definitely something to think about. If I could get out of going I would (How selfish and cowardly), but I owe it to my husband and his family to be present and there for them. It's not until 3pm either so I've got all day to be panicking over it. The last funeral I went to was my sons and I got through that fucking sober so I can do this. I'm so proud of myself for these 8 days. I have loads of goals I want to do and being sober is the only way I will achieve them. Thanks so much everyone, this thread is so helpful. I haven't been out of the house for 8 days now