Day 1

[moochies]

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

It's weird, I guess we were accustomed to being able to get into bed, head on the pillow and then just blackout. As opposed to having to actually wait to fall asleep naturally.

But drunk sleep was rubbish quality, so hopefully we'll all feel more rested once we're used to this.

Sleep was awful for a few weeks when I gave up. Wild and intense dreams. I wasn’t even drinking that much (third to a half bottle wine a day) . It took a good few weeks to rebalance . Stick with it, it’s definitely worth it. It was actually the thing that scared me into staying AF as I didn’t really think my drinking had had a physical effect on me, more a mental one.

as I didn’t really think my drinking had had a physical effect on me, more a mental one.

I know what you mean, but the brain is a physical organ. To have a mental effect there has to be a physical effect. Up thread I posted a link to study on the molecular basis of alcoholism. It actually changes your neurochemistry.

I've just been thinking about this. I didn't even drink every day. More not knowing when to stop when I did. But it's had a huge effect on my mental health. I was anxious anyway but now my mind is in overdrive which leads to not sleeping which leads to more anxiety. Maybe it's because I know now it has to stop.

Thank you for sharing @MissConductUS, sounds terrifying.
Here's to another day AF. We've got this guys! Crazy to think the amount of healing our bodies must already be doing.

Yes well done us! I’m still dry, too.

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well.

Still dry, although my sleep is basically non-existent.

Absolute nightmare with a 3yo DC on top of the insomnia. Also, a persistent headache.

Outside of this, I'm feeling great and DH has commented a few times that my skin is already starting to look better.

Very happy with my progress so far. Hope everyone else is doing well also x

Can I join this thread? Was posting in another MN support group but it's gone quiet, hopefully because everyone is enjoying life drink free. I still need the support though.

Of course, @youboozeyoulose, anyone is welcome. Where are you on your journey?

@rocky1914

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well.

Still dry, although my sleep is basically non-existent.

Absolute nightmare with a 3yo DC on top of the insomnia. Also, a persistent headache.

Outside of this, I'm feeling great and DH has commented a few times that my skin is already starting to look better.

Very happy with my progress so far. Hope everyone else is doing well also x

Well done Rocky. I thought my skin looks a bit better too.

Are you missing drinking? I didn't think I was, but today I'm grumpy and keep looking at the wine rack.

I know I'm romanticising having a couple of lovely glasses though. It wouldn't happen that way. I'd cane the bottle then order a kebab and then feel even more grumpy tomorrow.

@teaandtoastwithmarmite what would you say to your best friend if all those things had happened to her and she asked for help?

Hi everyone. Some great progress on here. My sleep has improved but I am so tired in the day that I have to have a nap I feel exhausted. Luckily I am off work this week.
I don't miss drinking yet, I try to play the evening forward. moochies I understand what you say about a few drinks then everything goes out the window and back to square one again.

[quote brightspice]@teaandtoastwithmarmite what would you say to your best friend if all those things had happened to her and she asked for help?[/quote]
Not sure. Probably to let it go and move on and probably the things you worry about didn't happen. And to stop drinking.

I've just eaten a massive fish pie but I'm wanting something and feeling a bit twitchy. I'll give it 20 min then have a hot chocolate if I still feel like this. I can't wait for bed! My first wobble I guess. Tomorrow will be day 7.

Hi everyone! Day 7 AF here. Feeling positive and slowly sleeping a bit better which is a huge relief. Reading 'The Sober Diaries' by Clare Pooley (recommended here so thank you!) which is very relatable

@firefly123 I'll check that out.

Well done @firefly123 that's brilliant. I'm in bed with my book. It's not quit lit, it's a thriller. I'm only on chapter one and they've already mentioned "getting trashed, wasted, smashed and puking in the gutter" which has actually put my craving away lol.

Hi everyone, day 8 here. I've stopped before but it always felt like a white-knuckle, get this over with so I can start again thing. This time I've just said to myself that this is the way I am living now. I don't rule out having a drink again in my head - but I hope I won't ever want to. For now I plan on having a nice and sober January, then continuing for 100 days and then assessing whether the past 100 days have been better or worse than my usual days (I already know the answer to that). This past week I have enjoyed no planning on how to buy drink, no planning on how to get enough into me, no worrying about what I said to everyone the night before, I remember the tv we watched, I am present for my family, I feel good when I wake up in the morning (even though I find it hard to actually get to sleep).

One thing that strikes me is how alcohol - even if you aren't out snorting cocaine in night clubs every night of the week - just consumes so much time - buying it, planning on how to drink it, pretending it wasn't as bad as it was etc. The old CEO of my company said to me once (he had just been talking to HR about an employee with a problem) "justforthis21, there is no such thing as a part-time alcoholic. It is a full-time job"

Anyway, just wanted to say the support on this and other threads is great and MissConductUSA, you have been so so helpful.

Well done, @justforthis21, and thanks for your kind words.

Please, everyone, ask me questions if you like. I'm a New Yorker, and we have never been said to be shy.

Guess I'm on day 0! Been drinking about a bottle of wine (sometimes more) a night for a while. Last night I had two glasses and slept better than I have in ages. Tonight I am hoping to have just one.

I keep getting adverts for that Clearminds Hynotherapy on FB. I know it will be a con but can't help wanting to try it. Wondering if anyone has had success with something like that?

@MissConductUS

Of course, *@youboozeyoulose*, anyone is welcome. Where are you on your journey?

Thanks @MissConductUS. As posted above, I think I'm at square 1!

Put on two stone in the past year with boozing and unhealthy foods. I have a toddler and I can't do it anymore.

Day 7. Sad thing is that is me had more alcohol free nights this year than in 2021! How’s that for a statistic? Hope I can get to a time when I don’t think about counting anymore!

Back at work and everyone already stressed. I work in clinical trials and they amount of trials ongoing for covid along with usual workload - everyone is tired now! I hope 2022 means we can start treating it as a cold rather than something to fear!

More tea! Only 24 days to go and not counting- honest!

[quote Fordian]@justforthis21

Yes, I have no 'rock bottom' moments, specifically, thankfully; but I know I need to do something, that my drinking has got to be damaging my body; it has crept up on me, unlike many of my contemporaries who can 'take it or leave it'; I'm always the one when we're out who drinks most. I stress if we're going to do something or go somewhere and I haven't got any wine in; I sort of disguise my empties count, and so on.

I'm worried about how boring going out is going to be! TBH I'm a bit bored this evening without alcohol.

I'm also a bit worried that I won't get any of the 'feeling so much better/losing weight/clear skin/less anxiety/better sleep/more energy' benefits- it appears lots of us were expecting more of an 'uptick' - that transpired was slow in coming.

Anyway. One day at a time.[/quote]
@Fordian I used to be so worried about how boring going would out with be! It's nothing to worry about - it just shows you're a good learner because you've taught yourself to desire alcohol and now associate that with fun. It's totally reversible.

But so what if you are bored when going out. Why would that be a problem?

I'm also a bit worried that I won't get any of the 'feeling so much better/losing weight/clear skin/less anxiety/better sleep/more energy' benefits- it appears lots of us were expecting more of an 'uptick' - that transpired was slow in coming.

I probably should have replied to this when it was posted, so apologies.

Chronic alcohol consumption causes damage to most organs (including the skin) and is cumulative. Some organs recover faster than others and some people have more cumulative damage than others. Liver damage can be irreversible if it is severe enough, and mild to moderate liver damage can take months to recover from completely. I was quite lucky in that despite my heavy drinking, my liver did recover and is fine now.

The CNS (central nervous system) will typically take a few weeks to show noticeable improvement. You'll see this in loss of craving for alcohol, better sleep, and improved mood and cognition.

I wanted to explain all of this so that you understand that what you've done by stopping drinking is to set the conditions for healing to begin. Now you must patiently persist while the healing occurs.

I have added the pictures for a bit of variety and interest. We've had our first snowfall of the season. Birds are queuing up at the feeder. Fortunately, DS is home from uni to help DH with the snow removal.

I'm already looking forward to many times going out and feeling better the next day. Next time I'm with DH's family I'm going to use the money to book myself a nice hotel room to go to when they're all wasted.
@MissConductUS lovely pictures. Cannot believe how much snow you have!