The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

@Woofwoofwoofwoofsthewoolfhound that is amazing, well done!!! 90 days is great.

@Stuckhere2021 my OH also works away quite a lot, in fact he is away right now. This was usually a trigger point for me as like you, I drank mostly at home by myself just to numb myself, I guess. I would always reach for the wine when he was away.

I don’t anymore obviously and it’s so much easier (when I have the children) and more enjoyable (when I don’t have the children) now! Never thought I would say this but I guess I don’t see booze as a treat anymore. I do treat myself when he’s away but treats for me are now really nice food & take sways, long baths, runs/walks, nice coffees and early nights in a clean bed I have all to myself! Then the best treat is waking up energised and well rested.

I see you are on antidepressants already, but might be worth talking to your GP about your dose especially now you are removing an important coping mechanism (alcohol). I definitely found my low mood and alcohol issues were related and the latter were much easier to deal with when the former were properly addressed. Good luck this weekend.

[CardinalCat]

Hello everyone! Thanks so much for such a lovely welcome and support. So far so good- managed to white knuckle through the travel temptations and the client dinner (clients didn't even bat an eyelid and two of them were on the water!! After all that worry.) I've just got the return leg and friends to contend with imminently. I've messaged a couple of my friends to say I can't wait to see them and- just so they don't die of shock then I do see them- that I'm off the booze. Awaiting a response but I'm sure it will be fine.
Lots of love to everyone as we head into the weekend. Think of how fresh Saturday morning will be! No fuzzy head, shame or having to rewatch all the Netflix you can't remember from the night before.
We've got this!

[Minkyscamp]

@Kindtomyself and @indiesearcher thanks for the words of encouragement. I've managed much better today, despite being surrounded by sugar (and alcohol this evening). It doesn't help that I'm feeling crap with a rotten cold, I can't wait for it to lift so that I can focus on feeling healthy which will help me get some better eating habits back. But you're both right, I guess in the early days it's important to just go with the flow and not give yourself a hard time.

[Kindtomyself]

Morning all. Night out last night with a really good friend who was drinking and I was AF. Had a great time and woken up feeling happy and with no shame.
Well done @CardinalCat. It always amazes me when I fuss about not drinking with others and then realise that people are also not drinking or just have one! Good luck on 2nd leg.

@Minkyscamp I found dark chocolate and also low cal hot chocolate kept me satisfied. Also toast and honey.
Have a good day

[Stuckhere2021]

Morning all.
Day 3 AF for me today and survived the most horrendous social experience AF last night. Went to one of those “an audience with” type shows with a retired sports star my husband loves. The audience was about 90% middle aged men and 10% women. Many people, men and women, were visibly drunk at the start. As the night went on, the drunkenness increased as did the heckling and shouting out/ singing as if we were at a game. People were buying themselves as many as 4 drinks at a time as the bar was so busy and because most were drinking large beers, spent half the time going to the toilet!! It was so annoying- a guy in our row was going out every 5 mins for the toilet or another drink so we were up and down like jack in the boxes to let him past.

Husband asked me after if it made me feel like drinking and I said no, actually the opposite. Some people’s behaviour was so ridiculous and at times offensive, it was excruciating to watch. Because I know I’ve done it - not the shouting and heckling, but getting drunk at shows, falling asleep in the cinema, laughing just a bit too loud etc. So eye opening and makes me more determined than ever not to go back there.

Home alone this weekend and lots of self care planned (after a tonne of housework!). Normally I would use this as an excuse to get black out drunk , but not today Satan!!!

Happy weekend everyone and wishing a sober one for those trying to be AF. ❤️💪

[AurevoirLesEnfants]

Hopping aboard if you please!

Day 1 here 😬

Wish me luck please and thank you

Will read back through the thread.

[AurevoirLesEnfants]

BTW, did anyone else read the news saying there is going to be a shortage of wine and spirits at Christmas, panic and then think "wtaf"? There is no need to panic fgs.

[indiesearcher]

Welcome @AurevoirLesEnfants - great to have you here!

My day 1 feels like it was yesterday if it's of any comfort - find good distractions, down a delicious tonic before any pangs have chance to catch you out, and follow some inspirational folks on insta (even if you just stalk the pages it's very motivational).

We are here every step!

[AurevoirLesEnfants]

Thank you @indiesearcher

[Stuckhere2021]

Welcome @AurevoirLesEnfants - good on you for doing day 1 - we are all with you. Hope you’ve got some nice treats tonight - I’ve just bought really expensive bath salts but still cheaper than even a cheap bottle of vodka - looking forward to a nice candlelit bath later.

I managed nearly an hour on the treadmill earlier - mainly walking with short outbursts of running. Most exercise I’ve done in ages. Came home via the shops and it was so nice to not have to worry about how I would sneak booze into the house, paying for it separately so it wouldn’t show on the receipt and just knowing that I will go to bed sober and wake up in the morning without the terrible anxiety that goes with my drinking.

Hope everything is having a peaceful Saturday - or if you are out socialising that you can stay AF and enjoy yourself ❤️💪

[Cappuccinoandmybook]

Happy Saturday everyone - day 70 for me today 🎉

enjoying a nice coffee & waiting on my Indian take away coming. Hope everyone has a good sober weekend

[AlloftheTime]

@Cappuccinoandmybook well done you! Hope you are feeling the benefit

[Alcoh]

Hello. Ok I am in. Fed up of thinking I can moderate. Since lockdown has got worse and worse. Can’t even begin to write down here because of the shame. Have teenage children and of course they know and I have to now stop. I am actually now scared because I think it has gone too far and I can’t do this but the brake pedal now here and reverse gear has been engaged. I now know I need to at least. So this is my Day 1 and this time I know I need to. Am sure as time goes I can face up and admit to how bad it got.

[AurevoirLesEnfants]

Hi @Alcoh

Day 2 here, so v similar!

I have a night out next Friday, so need to steal myself for that.

[Alcoh]

Thanks @AurevoirLesEnfants. That’s the awful thing. There is always SOMETHING. I have a school mum meeting at the pub on Monday. I really want to go because I want to get to know the parents of my daughters friends and haven’t been able to because of Covid. But it’s a Monday night at the pub. Then there is always a work thing during the week or a friend out or a concert. And that’s not including me sitting working from home, getting to the end of a day of relentless bloody zoom calls without a break and then feeling you deserve a treat. So out comes the wine. I can’t remember the last time I truly had a day off the booze. I am alone as well with the kids. Stressful job. But it has to stop. It has become dangerous and my daughter particularly knows and that is what shames me so much. I think writing it down here is going to help so much.

[Stuckhere2021]

Welcome @Alcoh and good on you for posting and owning your problem. Please take all the help you can get before this gets worse as it will. I’ve completely ruined my relationship with my DD (21) who “hates me” and wants to move out of our “toxic house” but can’t afford to. So we live in the same house but she completely ignores me. I’ve done so many shit things while drinking and broken so many promises about stopping that I can’t blame her. It’s day 4 for me today (I’ve had about 50 day 1s) and am determined this time it sticks.

I am also working from home but pre pandemic, my work was very people facing (I support students) and I hate the constant zoom/Teams meetings etc. The students don’t turn their cameras on or engage much so I am usually staring at 40 black boxes. It’s the pits.

If you don’t want to tell people you’ve a problem, you need a stock of excuses why you are not drinking;

• I need to drive as picking up a friend/child/partner later
  
• on antibiotics
  
• on a diet / health kick
  
• have tooth abscess and on really strong painkillers
  
• raising money for charity for Christmas by donating money spent on booze
  
• gastric ulcer which is worsened by booze
  
• personal problems that make you depressed / unable to cope when u drink
  
• don’t sleep well after drinking
  
• looking after a friends kids
  

My friends all know I’ve a problem and I’m okay with telling others - I just say I got in a bad habit during lockdown so am taking a break. However, there are some situations where people may judge you (school mums can be hard to negotiate!) or you may make them uncomfortable by “over sharing” which is where the excuses come in!

Good luck - you can do this ❤️💪

[Sunflowersinthewind]

Checking in, I was on the last thread. Now 10 weeks sober and apart from the barrage of cold after cold, enjoying my new sober life

[indiesearcher]

Evening everyone, welcome @Alcoh

Day 20-something here. That in itself is good news right, that I'm starting to stop counting? I'll get on my app later and log another dry day as seeing the calendar full of sober days is hugely rewarding, but just now I can't remember 😁

Navigated mums 70th birthday this weekend, fizz popping (I ordered some 'Noughty' rose which my wine merchant brothers agreed is the best AF fizz they've tried). I also treated myself to some of the dark Aecorn butters which I've had with orange tonic again and it's bloody marvellous - feels like a serious grown up treat. So a few AF fixes there that I don't want to start subbing in too much, as I don't actually miss alcohol, it's just great to have found a few things to help on special occasions when surrounded by drinkers.

Hope it's been a calm and lively weekend for everyone

[Newmum738]

Hi folks, just joining this thread and looking forward to reading your posts. I've been using the drink award app and now very aware that I'm often binge drinking once a week (whether I go out or not). My DH says he thinks the app is doing me no good. Obviously I can see that the alcohol is doing me no good. I'd like to stop drinking completely because I struggle to control it. I'm a bit worried it will change my relationship with DH for the worse. My mother has an alcohol problem but it didn't affect me growing up. I started drinking at 15 and wish I hadn't to be honest! It hasn't done me or my relationships any good at all.

[PinnyPencher3]

I’m on day 27 and haven’t had much temptation so far as my life is so dull:)
But going to a wedding next weekend so my tactic is to take the car. Could do other arrangements but I like knowing I’m driving as it’ll keep me sober. I can’t even have one if I’m driving, would not trust myself.

[EIsaCragg]

Checking in, day 767 (that's just over 2 years in new money ).

To those just starting or restarting, I would say that not drinking is so much easier than cutting down. There's no argument, no indecision; it's so much simpler to not have that first one and open the floodgates.

I'm still working on healthy eating and my awful sugar habit, but I don't beat myself up about it. It's less important than the clear-headedness, energy and optimism I feel every day.

Posters on here are so supportive, this is such a safe, non-judgemental space.

for you all

[SparklingLime]

Welcome @Newmum738. An unsupportive or undermining DP is not ideal, but others on here have managed despite that. Sending strength! Well done for getting started.

[AlloftheTime]

Well done Elsa That’s an amazing length of time!

[Alcoh]

Thanks for the welcome. Checking in before sleeping on a Sunday evening sober!!! It’s actually really embarrassing and awful because tonight I cooked a roast and then engaged with my daughter. I did a puzzle with her and then found out all about her week ahead . I would never have usually known that and now I am lying here thinking gosh. How much have I missed.

[Newmum738]

@Alcoh

Thanks for the welcome. Checking in before sleeping on a Sunday evening sober!!! It’s actually really embarrassing and awful because tonight I cooked a roast and then engaged with my daughter. I did a puzzle with her and then found out all about her week ahead . I would never have usually known that and now I am lying here thinking gosh. How much have I missed.

@Alcoh this sounds really good!