The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

*pudding!

Morning all - checking in on day 9. So far so good with zero desire to drink - although I’ve been here before many times so I’m not being complacent.

Sleeping better the last 2 days - well at least good for me which means around 4 hours sleep. Feeling great mentally and physically and I look so much better now the facial bloating, red eyes and grey pallor have gone.

DD stayed home last night and slept in her own bed for the first time in 10 days (she decanted to BFs when I was drinking last week) and is talking to me again, as is DS. I am so grateful for the many “last chances” I’ve had so this needs to be the very very last one.

I feel my mind set towards alcohol changing - the thought of ever drinking again is still strange but not as scary as it used to be. I can easily imagine being sober over Christmas and new year, something I couldn’t have even considered weeks ago. I upset my family by getting drunk last Christmas Day so I am really looking forward to being AF, knowing I won’t spoil Christmas or wake up in the night with the dreaded anxiety. I’ve bought a lot of new decorations and will do the house up tomorrow. I’ve spent a fair bit because DD loves all the pizazz/fancy stuff and I really just want us all to have a lovely Christmas and start to a better year. Still less than I would have spent on booze though.

Hope everyone is well and for those struggling- KOKO - we can do this ❤️💪

@Stuckhere2021 I mean this extremely gently - I so bloody wish I could sit down face-to-face sometimes! - but I’m a little concerned you’re high off being sober right now. Your Christmas day will be lovely if you’re there and sober, don’t stress yourself about anything else right now.

@Stuckhere2021 I’m glad your mindset in changing and that you’re sleeping better! Alcohol free Christmas is the best🙂 (I had my first one last year)

Keep going, you’re doing great👍

@indiesearcher that evening out is a major achievement , well done . I’m glad I’ve read it as I’ve been projecting a lot about managing “ events “ as we are now in the thick of the festive season .

I’m at 91 days now and tentatively looking at the 100 day mark . Doing some reflecting etc .
I’ve found myself “ grieving “ in a way the past couple of weeks . The routines associated with Christmas . The mulled wine and the baileys are featuring heavily in my rose tinted yearnings .
I have to keep telling myself it’s all rose tinted . But I admit some days are a bit tough right now .
Think I need to be checking in more as the days March on through December . It’s my danger time , my last lapse was mid December after 2 years sobriety .

I've reached day 7! Have ramped up the self care and self help this week. Reading This Naked Mind (quit lit) and Flip the Switch (how to change your response to situations). Starting therapy next week. Already have a massage booked and I've been doing hot yoga. Alcohol free gin at the ready in case I get the urge tonight. Sleep has been better and feeling pretty good so far xx

Nearly 100 days is amazing @Admin! I know what you mean about this being a difficult time but it’s DEFINITLY rise tinted glasses. Yeah sure that one baileys is nice, as is the one glass of champagne at New Years. But how about all the other booze mindlessly swigged, the hangovers etc? Just not worth it in my opinion. If I were you I would persist and hang on till January, you can always decide then that sober Christmas is lame (you won’t though🤣). For me the first sober Christmas was a real turning point. It was my main “fear” so to speak (will Christmas be boring without booze?) and when I then had the best Christmas I knew that all of life was better without it.

Give the sober Christmas a chance, just this once. You can always change your mind after. And keep checking in🙂

Thankyou @BunniesBunniesBunnies .

Last night I wanted baileys . We had the house to ourselves ( a rarity ) and the tree was twinkling . We ordered a takeaway . Feet up etc etc . My brain was SCREAMING!!! The associations were just overwhelming . But telling myself it’s the deep rooted associations helped . And like I’ve banged on about many times …. This knowledge is power . It’s the key!! Knowing WHY my brain was trying to trick me helped me get over the bump .
And we had a lovely chilled evening . Went to bed happy and content . And I’m up for work now fresh as a daisy .

@Newmum738 that all sounds really positive x

@Slothkin - I appreciate your concern and I am aware that I am pink clouding at the moment. I’ve been here many times and then hit a slump when the initial joy of being sober wore off and being sober became boring. It’s day 10 today and I have no desire to drink. I’m in on my own tonight which in the past would have been the perfect excuse to just sit on the sofa, watching TV and numbing myself. But I really don’t want to. I’ve posted previously on here to say I couldn’t make it past day 10 and was given the advice not to attach so much power to that number- so it is a bit of a “landmark” (too early to think of the right word!) and I am happy knowing I won’t drink.

But you are right - the element of euphoria will fade and I need to be on guard so to speak when it does. That’s when the real challenge will come.

Happy Saturday everyone ❤️💪

Sorry @Stuckhere2021 I don’t think I expressed myself very well; your achievement is absolutely fantastic. Please just don’t make a load of plans and beat yourself up if the day isn’t perfect (not at aaaall speaking from experience).

Day 337! On the count down to a full year. I started DJ with the help of these threads. Never, ever thought I could do it. I had drank at least 1 bottle of wine every night for years. Never had a break (my poor liver).

My life (and how I feel about it and myself) has changed so much for the better. I can enjoy it and be present in it, rather than just getting through whatever was happening until I can get home and start drinking.
The mental battle in my head starting every morning 'I'm not going to drink today' to the inevitable 'fuck it - I'm calling for a bottle of wine' on way home from work (and hating my fat bloated self ).

I have said this many times, if I can do it so can anyone. I clung in to these threads and devoured the posts that were going through same.

I changed the glass of wine to a glass of tonic water - so I didn't miss the actual action of holding a glass and drinking. I went to bed earlier (I actually can remember what I read the night before now!). Weaning myself off the physical actions was as important as the alcohol for me.
I have no desire to drink again. Why would I - life is so much better now.
I have been on a cruise this year with no problems or desire to drink.

To those of you just starting- keep going, one day at a time, distract your self in the moment- it will pass.

I came back then fell off the wagon again. So I’m back again. Finding this so hard with all the stress in my life right now but I’m starting to feel crappy in myself which won’t help me deal with the stress so I’ll be back every day, I’ve joined the gym (not sure when I will get to go with DH away but I’ve got good intentions) and getting back on the quit lit on my walks. I will do this 💪🏻

Hope you are all keeping well? Baby still doesn’t sleep. She has slept for 3hrs a couple of times in the last few weeks which is better than 2 but equally threw in 2 wake ups in 1.5hrs last night so 💤💤

@Hepzibar brilliant post and well done .

@StoppedWineIng back on that horse . You’ve got this

hepzibar such a good post. I too clung to these threads at the beginning. I had support at home but talking on here to people who got it was m/is a total lifeline.

For those starting out or doing day 1 again, it does get easier. I used to post every day to get through the tricky times. (And to be honest every day felt tricky at the beginning). It really was getting through each day and giving myself a wee dopamine pat on the back when I could tick a day off.

I had a gold star emoji on my daily calendar that I ticked off at the end of the day. Seeing them rack up was such a boost. Then I started putting the star on the morning because I trusted that I would get through the day easily. That was a real confidence booster. Having that self belief that I would do it. Then there came a point that I didn't do the star. It wasn't needed.

I felt I went from counting days (hours sometimes) to counting weeks then months. Now I feel I'm moving into counting years. I'm moving towards a year and a half sober. That feels amazing. A much better feeling than any glass of wine could give me.

Happy sober Saturday everyone.

Sorry not to respond any newcomers! I always read back when I can but I am a student nurse with 4 children, three are under 4 so I am very bad at responding on here.

Love the thread so much , it helps to have it and check in regularly, that would be my top advise.

So here I am , checking in, not sure what day because my app stopped working! So now I'm not counting anymore 🤷. Might be a good thing I think, I'm just not drinking full stop going into my future so why bother ticking them off any more?

Looking forward to a sober Christmas , but worried about a wedding I have in May but that is a while away so not dwelling on it.

I can see a so we Christmas, done a few in my time, all about the children anyway so we never drink much over the festive season as a couple or family/grandparents.

But weddings? I'm going to struggle with that one. It's adults only too 😬

My goodness champoopapi you do have your hands full. Well done at addressing this at the same time.

Although sometimes I think the nusier you are the more you can do.

Afew years ago when I was setting up my own business, including doing up dilapidated premises ourselves, i was still working a lot on top and home schooling two kids. I not only stopped drinking but was on top of healthy eating. I have never felt so good as I did then, although it was stressful in many ways. It was almost like I was on it ALL because I had to be.
Kind of wish I could get that vavoom and keep up the momentum again.
But the last couple of years have been a challenge in a different way I suppose and I'm tired. But I have done it all without drinking so that's a bonus.

I doff my hat off to you, sir.

@Breathmiller hat donneth in return!

I agree. It SOUNDS like it would be harder but it's easier when you have so many plates spinning because you really bugger everything up of one or two fall.

And a hangover will make them fall, oh lord sometimes I think I'm only a few drinks away from table dancing in a casino at 3am and staying at a travel inn for for a week of destruction!

This is why I have to stay on the straight and narrow. Makes it easier for sure when I'm deciding 'shall I get a bottle of wine or some beers? 🤔'..... Er no, because you will wake up on a roundabout in Bristol ....

Thanks @Adm1010 I’m out with the family today but will try & catch up on this thread. More than likely won’t have time to catch up on what I missed on the last. X

@Slothkin - no need for apologies - your post was not “off” in any way. The one thing I know is that I won’t drink on Christmas Day - so if it dies go Pete Tong, it won’t be because I’m drunk (like last year). Anything else I can handle. It will be a fairly quiet day as it’s just us and DC and we get on well when I’m not drinking. Thanks again for your support.

@ChampooPapi - you made me laugh saying you’d wake up on a roundabout in Bristol - I am that person too! I laugh but I know it’s a serious subject and once we cross from being the fun/mad one to being a bomb scare/liability, it’s no fun anymore and that’s what I did. Day 10 today and I won’t be drinking. ❤️💪

@Stuckhere2021 oh even I laughed when I read that back, it's also the unbelievability of it when I'm living my radio 4, 8pm bedtime, old lady cardigan lifestyle....that's what does make it funny. But obviously as soon as it happens and I actually want to die post drinking, and my world crumbles....not even a smirk.

One must laugh in the face of the absurd!

Day ten is really good going, once your get over a week it starts to get a little easier and you do feel so much better. Well done you, it's not easy at this time of year, ye god's the amount of greeting cards even that involve boozing 🙄. It's everywhere at the moment isn't it?

Checking in, 7 days today! It felt good to be fresh this morning, I certainly wouldn't have appreciated the cat waking me up at 6am most Saturdays but it wasn't a big deal today and I've had more patience than normal with the kids. I definitely felt the absence of a glass in my hand while doing my usual Friday things and pottering about, but I think the novelty value carried me through. Maybe next week I'll get a fancy AF drink so I still have the ritual. So nice to hear you all doing well its inspiring

@ChampooPapi your description made me laugh I can relate so hard to the radio 4 cardigan lifestyle then flipping to party mode. I've heard the phrase 'it's always the quiet ones...' used far too many times

So I’m back again. Did 30 days AF then crashed and burned and am only just ready to try again. My trigger was the work Xmas party on Friday. New(ish) job and terrible hangxiety the following day. Just read Bryony Gordon’s “Glorious Rock Bottom” to keep me motivated.