The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

Welcome @CardinalCat and hello @HangingOver! How have you been?

@Breathmiller deciding to put something on the back burner is also a totally valid intention for the new year! I think it’s all about what makes us feel better, not overloading ourselves with yet more tasks and goals.

And I agree, if you can give up booze than you can for sure address your relationship with food too💪

Hi all - another newbie to this thread but have posted on other threads......giving out advice when I am still a massive problem drinker. The most I've lasted since my teens (apart from pregnancy) is about 28 days or so and I am now mid 50s. I fucked up spectacularly again at the weekend and was on a bender for 5 days getting through about 4 bottles of vodka. My young adult DC are still at home but don't want to know me. Husband is trying his best but is at his wits end. Friends also changing from concern to anger at me for doing this to myself and my family. I honestly felt like I was going to die last night in bed and saw every minute on the clock. On paper, I have a wonderful life but just seem to want the numbness being drunk brings.

My problem is I always think I will be able to hide it / control it and then sink a bottle of vodka or gin in 24 hours....then I need more to take the edge off the withdrawals. I look dreadful and have piled on the weight. But......I really really struggle with the thought of never drinking again although deep down I think it will come to that. As soon as the anxiety wears off, I'm away out for "a walk" and filling up water bottles with vodka.

This really has to be the last time. I had antabuse for a while but it made my blood pressure sky rocket so it got stopped. But I was able to really switch off from thinking about drinking when I was on it as I knew it was simply off the table so to speak. I am going to end up sacked, divorced and lonely if I can't stop.

So here I am, warts and all. Also on This Naked Mind (Annie Grace) but sometimes I find the posts depressing as people are like me i.e. they can't stop and it makes me think I won't be able to stop either (sorry if that offends anyone). So I am hoping a dose of positivity from all you lovely folks who have managed to stop will spur me on.

Looking forward to chatting with you all and hearing about all the positives of not drinking.

Evening all ! Checking in to the new thread . Been busy but stayed sober! I’ll try to read back later to catch up

@Stuckhere2021 welcome , if you’ve been on Antabuse have you been engaged with community alcohol teams in the past ? If you have and are no longer engaged would it be worth looking at that again for support ?

Evening all. I'm on day 4 and eating ALL the crap food. Normally my diet is pretty healthy, never craved sugar before and I generally watch what I eat. But it seems all that has gone out of the window. Am I just replacing one addiction with another? Any insight/experience welcome, as I'm worried I will be piling on weight if this continues which I know will make it harder to keep up.

@Stuckhere2021 - most importantly you are here, and it sounds like you know what you need to do. Are there particular triggers that can set you off on the benders? What is it you're trying to numb? That resonates as one of the things I loved most about drinking, happy numbness.

Hi @Stuckhere2021 and welcome. What you describe sounds really difficult. It’s great that you want to quit. I do also recommend seeing your GP just because of the amount you have been drinking (no judgment from me by the way!). I know you said antabuse didn’t agree with you but there might be other options.

Why do you think you drink so much? Are you for example feeling anxious or depressed. Maybe not, but if you are then treating those sorts of things will help with quitting too.

I know what you mean about posts like those one the “Naked Mind” group. Too many people continuously falling off the wagon are also difficult for me. (Obviously I feel for those people but I struggle with it psychologically).

Anyway you are very welcome here. Lots of long term sober people and also always lots of new people so you are not alone. Yes we do often share all the wonderful things about being alcohol free but we also moan and complain when things are tough! So you are more than welcome to share anything.

@Minkyscamp I don’t think the sugar cravings will last. Just go with it for now, the most important thing is not drinking!

@Minkyscamp I think try to take it one step and one day at a time. If you're going cold Turkey you deserve a few treats. Certainly sugar cravings are to be expected.

I'm not depriving myself of anything except alcohol while I get acquainted with a new tee total life, I can tackle food in the new year!

What I am being mindful of is to try to eat well - nuts, dates, dark chocolate.... rather than total rubbish.

Well done on 4 days, it'll start to get a bit easier soon.

Aarrgggg! Did a big response and lost it! Anyway thanks to those that replied and offered support. I am engaging with my GP and community addictions team but haven’t been completely honest about the amount of binges I’ve been having. Also tried Acamprosate but it didn’t help. Naltrexone suggested but it works better if you have a drink after taking it and I want to be alcohol free - you can still get drunk on it but shouldn’t feel a buzz, but it scares me that I could still drink to excess.

Support is really nice to have but no one can do this for me - it’s down to me to take responsibility and not pick up that first drink. Day 2 today.

Another newcomer here >>>>waves wildly

@indiesearcher - I think there is an element of depression (I’m on sertraline) and general stress and unhappiness with life. I hate my job but realistically I’ve been off 6 months (back 2 months) this year so I think it would go against me if I tried to get another and we couldn’t afford the mortgage etc without my salary. Only 6 about 8 months of mortgage left and after that I can look for something else .

The pandemic hit me hard (as it did many others) and my job completely changed as a result - I was very person facing and now just sit on a laptop all day doing bloody zoom ! But I don’t want to make excuses as I’ve got it good compared to many many others. I need to get off my arse and start getting out and about again - cinema, gym , seeing friends for non alcohol related activities etc.

@Blackwidow47 - day 2 for me also! I too am a terrible drunk and need to stop completely. I’m out tonight to a concert but driving. That doesn’t bother me - I tend to drink alone in the house to blot stuff out. Weekend will be strange for you no doubt - but focus on the positives and what you will be gaining. I did nearly a month sober earlier this year and started getting used to not drinking with friends and did a couple of weekends away very successfully- everyone knows I’ve a problem so knew I’d be taking myself off to bed / a bath if it got too much ie. they started getting passed and talking crap. Good luck and keep posting - I will not drink with you

Morning all. Day 82 completed.

Welcome to the new people, it’s great to see you here.

@Minkyscamp I too was a very healthy eater but when I went AF I noticed I was eating more crap particularly sugar. However that’s improving and I’m eating better again, I’m some ways you could say I’m eating more normally as I was pretty strict with what I ate before but yesterday found myself ordering a pan au chocolat and coffee in a coffee shop I nipped into after a meeting! This is so not me, I would have rushed back to get on with work, tunnel vision but I seem to be allowing myself to enjoy life a little more, treating myself. I loved it. However I am buying more clothes and stuff than I have for a long time which I am mindful of.

@Stuckhere2021 and @Blackwidow47 I too was a terrible drunk and feel quite ashamed of my behaviour. I’m still dealing with that but this is a great place to say things and not receive any judgement. Not saying you need to tell all but that you can be confident that people here want to support you. @stuckhere2021 I’m no expert but I think you should be honest with your GP/community alcohol team about the amount you are drinking just to be sure that you are stopping alcohol in the safest way. (No judgement at all but I want you to be safe)

@CardinalCat good luck with your big event. Hope all goes well

@Stuckhere2021 Keep engaging and tell them the truth , like you are doing on here . Hiding the truth serves no purpose . They will not judge you , they cannot support you fully if you are not fully honest . Acamprosate has limited success tbh . But maybe talk again with your CAT . Good luck

Hello everyone and other new folk, I'm just checking in. I had noticed I'm eating more but giving myself a break about it. It's also getting colder so I think I am naturally wanting more stodge.

I'm going to friend's birthday party tonight who drinks a lot but she has told me she bought in some fancy soft drinks for me so that's nice.

@Adm1010 and @Kindtomyself - thanks. I will be honest. Heading off to work now and out tonight but plan to keep posting over the weekend for accountability. My DH is working away and my DC will be out so that is a mixed blessing - good in the fact that there will be no alcohol consumed in the house (DH still has a beer or two when he is off which I have no problem with) and I can please myself all weekend but bad in the sense that there will be no-one keeping an eye on me. But I am absolutely determined not to drink and plan to get a lot of treats for myself - beauty, food, AF drinks and movies. Also going to start back at the gym. Have a great day everyone and KOKO.

@Kindtomyself - I had a few withdrawal symptoms on Wednesday night (sweats, anxiety) which is 'normal' for me after a binge, but I am surprisingly not physically addicted despite the amount I drink - I think that may be because I am not a daily drinker. I will be vigilant but I am feeling really good today (physically very well, still mentally ashamed) so I think I will be okay.

@Stuckhere2021 glad you’re feeling ok. The shame is bloody awful but I always tell myself that we are not bad people trying to be good we’re ill people trying to get well. We need to be kind to ourselves (hence my name to remind me) and lots of self compassion. I am starting to be self compassionate and it’s making a difference. Who knew! Keep posting. Write whatever you want, it’s therapeutic.

Btw I think it was @MILFLAWagain who said those wise words’We’re not bad people trying to be good, we’re ill people trying to get well’. He said it on a different thread that I used to follow but I notice he has posted on an old freedom thread in October 2021. Those words really struck me and meant that I started to be kinder to myself

Looking forward to hearing what nice things people are treating themselves to this weekend.

Dh has come in from nightshift feeling ill and is going for pcr test later so I will be going nowhere tonight anyway now - which is fine by me really.

Long time listener first time caller...! I've just hit 90 days and am feeling a bit proud. These threads have helped me get through some wobbly moments along the way.

@Woofwoofwoofwoofsthewoolfhound well done that's a milestone!

Phew, found you all

Checking in 🙌

Hello and happy Friday wishes