The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

Hi just checking in, had an AF Xmas and NYE. Feeling much better than I was a few weeks ago. Medication is working much better without the alcohol, I'm also on a low dose hrt combined tablet which seems to be helping.

I do find it a relief not to have to make decisions every day about alcohol e.g if and how much to drink, where I can buy it and hide it without DH seeing it etc. I would have loved to have a few glasses this Xmas but it's not just a few glasses is it, it's opening the door again to alcohol in my life and all the crap that goes with it. It seems so much easier to go through the day assuming that it is an AF day and indeed hopefully an AF way of life. But I've been here before and relapsed, so must stay vigilant.

Happy 2022 to you all!

Managed an AF new year with family, have come to see friends today and managed to stay strong and AF - being upfront and open really helps. CERTAINLY don't feel deprived of a drink anymore and actually really starting to dislike seeing DH drunk (and how puffy/red eyed and faced he gets) - but that's another thread for another day.

Here's to everyone for dry January AND BEYOND!

@PrisonerofZeroCovid - how’s your day 1 going?

I made it, and actually had no real desire to drink, but that's actually half my problem, as I often don't have a real "desire" to start drinking but I just do and then I don't stop- it's refills until I go to bed. My OYNB exercise today is to think about triggers and I'm struggling a bit as there are so many but they're often quite vague and often situational/time related rather than emotional. I'm now going to go for a run and think about it because I need to figure out strategies for those times and places (often a combination of the two to be fair). Early evening (5-8pm) is my worst time.

Really enjoying reading everyone's posts and they are reaffirming what I already know- i.e. that I need to go AF.

Hope you had a nice run @PrisonerofZeroCovid🙂

Great job @indiesearcher and @Touty your progress is so impressive.

@iamyourequal sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with anxiety, that’s not nice. Hopefully the HRT will work. I know what you mean about that (false) expectation of “jumping out of bed like a spring lamb”. Over the last year and a half I’ve had some phases of low mood/low energy/anxiety and it pisses me right off!!! I then think - I’m doing all the right things, why am I feeling shitty?!? It seems really unfair! Now I have learnt to accept that sometimes I will feel a bit shitty and that’s okay, it usually passes (obviously if the feelings persist it’s worth investigating).

It actually sounds like you did really well over Christmas given your feelings. Why is your DH asking you to try his drinks though? If my OH did that to me I’m not sure he would love to tell the tale…!🤣

@iamyourequal I’m a bit at your husband . Does he understand your alcohol issues?

@ChampooPapi good luck with the meeting

About to go to work and praying for a quiet day . I’m tired and don’t really know why . I’ve slept well but just seem so bone tired right now . I’m peri menopausal and finding the flushes are getting worse . But I’ve noticed over the last few weeks I ACHE … like proper achy joints , a bit creaky in the mornings . It’s making me aware of the marching on of time and my mood is dipping . This is dangerous for my sobriety so I need to address it

Morning all. Just catching up on the thread from yesterday. I'm doing a little bit of running again, I've run off and on for years but I stopped because I wanted to avoid 'runners face' . Anyway all this talk of running means I'm going again in a minute- just 5k but it is good for the soul (despite runners face).
I need new running shoes and have never considered buying online which is bizarre considering I buy loads of stuff that way so I'm going to take a look at the website @BunniesBunniesBunnies suggested. My last trail runners were from Decathlon but I am massively in need of pavement runners.

Good on you @ChampooPapi for the AA meeting let us know how it goes.

For everyone who is struggling AF I often feel tired too but I definitely feel less anxious and I do think I was running on adrenalin or whatever else it is when you're not being your normal self when I was drinking, I was so bloody anxious I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

@Breathmiller great posts and like hearing your granny stories - definitely best job in the world!
Thanks @Drybird2020 you really are an inspiration but in very relatable way if that makes sense? Joining was the very best decision I made in 2021 (after I had LTB obvs!)
Well done to everyone all the posts of ups and downs, challenges and tips make a difference and are helpful. I had very low mood for several days between Christmas and new year and fleetingly thought about a drink but brushed it aside in way I never believed was possible for me. I have come to see those few days as a complete letting go of 2021, alcohol and a failed marriage. I feel better prepared for whatever 2022 has in store and now realise I can face things without alcohol as a prop or reward. I’m keeping my guard up but very much hoping to continue as I start my six month AF.

@ChampooPapi huge respect for your determination and tenacity in finding the best way forward for yourself. Your honesty and drive to achieve your goal is humbling to read. Please keep posting 💐

Kindtomyself oh no, what’s ‘runner’s face’? Whatever it is, surely not as bad as boozer’s face?! I’m hoping to get less puffy and red-faced as i notch up the days. AlloftheTime that between Christmas and New Year is such a flat time, and the uncertainty and doomy feeling around omicron isn’t helping. Well done for moving through it with positivity, I’ve been struggling with this and it’s so helpful to know it can be done. I’ve been feeling regretful about lots of things, including some lost friendships and pretty big life mistakes. They don’t really compare to a marriage, but facing backwards in regret is really hard and uncomfortable. I need to turn and face forward as you have.

Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies. I had blood tests Oct & Dec and nothing else came up so I think it’s my peri-menopause hormones causing the anxiety, as the FSH was very high. It’s all been brewing quite a while and the anxiety was one of the main reasons for me quitting drinking.
Thanks for asking @Adm1010. My DH would prefer me to drink . I wasn’t a binge drinker, so my drinking was really only causing me problems. ( But I drank most days, always felt like having one, and my DF is an alcoholic.) I think DH thinks my stopping is OTT and I’d be happier drinking again! but I know that’s not the truth and I want to stay AF as I’m very proud myself getting this far. I will soldier on.
Loving all the chat about running! I’m almost inspired if I wasn’t such a lazy doughnut .

@iamyourequal good on you staying strong in the face of his lack of support . Is your husband alcohol dependant ?

@AfreshAfreshAfresh sorry to hear you have been dealing with so much, your issues are real and profound to you I don’t believe we can or need to ‘rank’ them. Frankly my ex is well down my thoughts now. I can be my own person again so consider all the gains I’ve accrued far outweigh what I’ve lost. You mention big life mistakes but don’t beat yourself up - you can’t undo things but you can usually face them, learn through self awareness and move on. I hope the new year brings a fresh start and some clarity about where you are now. Take care

@AfreshAfreshAfresh I think it’s very normal when you ditch the booze to feel lots of shame and regret about past decisions. There will be a lot of things to process. I actually found that aspect of sobriety harder than the actual lack of booze. The important thing is to keep looking forward. I’m about a year and a half down the line now and I have definitely forgiven myself (it did take a while).

Hope everyone is doing OK and thinking of anyone finding it tough. I listened to this podcast this morning and thought I'd share. It offers some questions for reflection on 2021 which you might enjoy thinking about. I've just done a happy list and it is much longer than I expected!! Here's the link podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/on-purpose-with-jay-shetty/id1450994021?i=1000546010728

Checking in 🙌

Day 22 here. Going well. It's lovely to have the inspiration from the long timers. I can't wait to have done 3 months or a year or 2 years! Really, I'm looking forward to just saying "I don't drink", which, of course, noone would believe at this stage of 3 weeks in. Haven't really taken up any new hobbies yet, and I am still exhausted, but this is probably more to do with the babies and it being year end at work. I must have just been running on adrenaline for months and months this year. I have absolutely no idea how I managed to have the energy to deal with all this last year!

Well done @excitedemmi. It can’t be easy going newly sober at this time of year, so you have accomplished so much already.
@Adm1010. My DH drinks quite a bit but handles it well. I worry he is over his weekly units for his long term health, but I don’t feel his drinking is a problem otherwise. I know he has an awareness he’s had quite a bit over the holiday and is going to cut back.
We’ve just hosted a small family party today but they are away home now. My DSis asked why I was still not drinking so I let her know my menopause hormones have been causing me chaos and I’m better not drinking. End of. I tried my hardest at hosting but I have a notion everyone’s probably thinking I’m more fun with a drink in me. Ive also sent my DM home with the rest of her Chablis as I really didn’t fancy seeing an open bottle of white in my fridge. Not feeling strong enough at moment to cope with that.

That’s all festive entertaining completed. I’m looking forward to fresh start tomorrow with some exercise and healthy foods. I would normally be dragging festivities out to 12th day of Christmas as an excuse to keep drinking. Glad to be free this year.
How is everyone else doing?
How are you @SparklingLime?

@AfreshAfreshAfresh sorry didn't mean to worry you. Runners face is the jowly, gaunt, sun damaged look however it requires hours and hours of running, dehydration, no spf and not looking after skin. So not actually a thing for worry about at all and definitely a damn sight better than boozing

@iamyourequal - good move sending the opened wine with DM 👍
I know what you mean about starting fresh tomorrow I’m aiming for that myself

Checking in 👍

Runners face is the jowly, gaunt, sun damaged look however it requires hours and hours of running, dehydration, no spf and not looking after skin

Looks in Mirror. Cries

NYR in addition to AF : drink way more water and wear sunscreen, goddammit!! Might even attempt some skincare.

Sorry- hit post too soon. Day 2 done and dusted and I leapt crawled out of bed for a 6am gym class today, which would never have happened if I'd had my usual 3 glasses of wine. Also had a massively productive evening doing a long overdue clear out of the under bed drawers and listing a tonne of outgrown ski and sports stuff (excited stuff, I know but quite satisfying). Last day of school holidays today so taking DC to a theme park and then DD has sports training this evening so I'll be driving around and staying busy.

Skin and sleep still crap but I guess I cant expect miracles.

@PrisonerofZeroCovid good work there!
Miracles are available but require booking……..

@PrisonerofZeroCovid

Runners face is the jowly, gaunt, sun damaged look however it requires hours and hours of running, dehydration, no spf and not looking after skin

Looks in Mirror. Cries

NYR in addition to AF : drink way more water and wear sunscreen, goddammit!! Might even attempt some skincare.

I feel responsible for putting people off running. Please ignore everything I have said about runners face, we are all gorgeous and it won't happen to us

Good work @PrisonerofZeroCovid. I'm off for a walk in half an hour with the lovely friend. I'm having difficulty with my emotions and my dd - she desperately wants to meet up with a friend but doesn't seem to be the person of choice and has to put up with finding out they're meeting up without her . I find this so tricky to deal with because I find it so painful. Any tips?

Sorry I meant my lovely friend not the lovely friend