The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

Happy new year all and a huge well done to those having soberverseries ( is that a word?? )

I found last night hard in parts but stayed sober , had some AF gin and feel grateful this morning for no hangover!!

Lots to look forward to this year so I’m going to try and focus on positives as my mood is a little “ blah “ today

Well done everyone! Here’s to a great 2022 xx

Happy New Year Soberistas! I hope 2022 brings us a fulfilling and alcohol-free year.

Well done @Drybird2020 and @WobWib on your soberversaries, and anyone else who has recently passed a significant milestone.

Well, I survived my first alcohol free Christmas and NY. It’s two months today that I started the Annie Grace Alcohol Experiment, and I feel like I’ve made a pretty profound change, tbh. It hasn’t been plain sailing, and I’m not feeling magically healed, but I feel like I’ve set off down a path to healing and into uncharted territory, and it’s quite exciting. I’m (hopefully!) just coming out of the feeling exhausted and flat stage. I’ve got an appt booked for blood tests next week, though, to check my general health and that there’s nothing else going on. I do feel a bit livelier this week, though.

I agree about this thread vs the DryJan thread reflecting different attitudes to not drinking. I’ve tried Dry Jan and Sober October several times in the past, and I don’t think I ever managed the whole 30/31 days. I was definitely approaching it as an exercise in proving (to myself? to others?) that I didn’t have a drink problem so didn’t have to feel bad the rest of the year, and in the hope that a month off would mean that I could then moderate. It was an endurance exercise, rather than a true mindset change. I would never have posted on this thread because I didn’t want to ‘never drink again’ - I just wasn’t ready for that. I was on the Brave Babes thread for a while, years ago, because I wanted to moderate, but it never worked for long and I got fed up with ‘sameness’ of trying and failing and spending so much time and energy thinking about moderating.

This time I think I’d laid the groundwork with my nightly listening to ‘Drink?’ by David Nutt, and in the second week of doing The Alcohol Experiment, something clicked into place for me and I felt I wanted to commit to a longer spell. It was really about being ready to ‘do the work’, I think, and delve into the deeper stuff I knew underlies my drinking. I found reading this and past threads really helped, too - there’s such valuable insight and support here. ❤️

I’m feeling hopeful for 2022, and am planning more changes. I’ve been eating too much sugar, so my diet is getting an overhaul now. I’m focusing on my microbiome and nurturing that. Also meditation and mindfulness, time management, and continuing my learning (around alcohol, addiction etc… knowledge is power, for me). Oh, and exercise, which I find a big challenge.

Just small and manageable changes, then… [ blush] Oh dear, am I being overambitious, here? I do tend to do that! Staying alcohol free is the absolute non-negotiable, because that is enabling these other changes to seem possible. I need to remember to be kind to myself, though.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies re sleep… I find listening to an audiobook or podcast really useful (it has to be the right one - nothing too exciting or engrossing, and preferably a non-fiction thing rather than a novel), as it stops me ruminating and has the advantage of feeling like I’m not wasting time just lying there worrying and feeling frustrated that I can’t sleep. I take a low dose of Mirtazipine which has been miraculous for my sleep; a lifetime of insomnia pretty much solved. Some people find it too sedating and that it leads to weight gain, though.

Off to the gym.... Think it'll be rammed or totally empty?

Happy New Year everyone! 🎊🥳

Huge Congratulations Drybird The fact that these threads keep going with oldies still here and new folk joining all the time show how important and life changing it is for so many people. Thank you so much again for starting them and keeping us all motivated.

So good to see familiar names blackberryblossom hangingover iamyourequal as well of course as the lovely bunnies for holding this thread so well.

To all those that have just had their first sober Christmas and New Year, give yourself a massive pat on the back. That is the hardest one done.

I have just done my second dry festive period in a row and had such a great time with my family. I love the fact that I can say I had a full dry year in 2021. And I am looking forward to another hangover free year in 2022.

It's not all been rainbows and unicorns, my mental health took a bit of a battering this year which I think was a mixture of menopause and a hangover (ha) from a few big challenges I had in 2020. But none of it would have been made easier if I had added all the crap that drinking brings with it. I think I had to learn to work through difficult emotions without alcohol and I feel I have learned so much doing that. I feel positive and peaceful and excited about a future with lots of happy healthy things in it rather than lots of alcohol.

As drybird said, it's just a way of life for me now. I didn't miss alcohol one bit last night. Instead of lying in a pit of shame, beer fear and messy house from a wild party, feeling like I want to puke, I have been up and done a yoga practice and feel so good. Unheard of in 1st of January's in the past. I am tired after a later than usual night but it's weird, i have no shame in admitting that. As someone said knowing the difference between tiredness and a hangover is a good feeling. I'm tired, therefore I will have a restful day today. No shame involved.

For anyone thinking of joining this thread and starting on the path to freedom from alcohol, i can only say "do it". It has been one of the best things I ever did nearly a year and a half ago.

Hope everyone enjoys their first of many a dry day of 2022.

Happy New Year to all. I've taken myself off for a walk and just had a sit down and a read of this thread. It's such a joy to wake up without shame or a hangover

Well done on your walk kindtomyself, it is wild here.
I might end up on the exercise bike later instead of a walk.

I have had a notion to join the gym this last year hangingover tell me about the good bits about it that will make me drag my lazy arse there. My biggest worry is footwear. I bought a pair of barefoot running shoes last year but they have a flappy bit inside that gouges a hole on my skin in minutes. Its too late to send them back. I'm thinking of getting them stitched at the cobblers. It may be only one excuse in a long line of excuses about not joining the gym though.

@Breathmiller

Happy New Year everyone! 🎊🥳

Huge Congratulations Drybird The fact that these threads keep going with oldies still here and new folk joining all the time show how important and life changing it is for so many people. Thank you so much again for starting them and keeping us all motivated.

So good to see familiar names blackberryblossom hangingover iamyourequal as well of course as the lovely bunnies for holding this thread so well.

To all those that have just had their first sober Christmas and New Year, give yourself a massive pat on the back. That is the hardest one done.

I have just done my second dry festive period in a row and had such a great time with my family. I love the fact that I can say I had a full dry year in 2021. And I am looking forward to another hangover free year in 2022.

It's not all been rainbows and unicorns, my mental health took a bit of a battering this year which I think was a mixture of menopause and a hangover (ha) from a few big challenges I had in 2020. But none of it would have been made easier if I had added all the crap that drinking brings with it. I think I had to learn to work through difficult emotions without alcohol and I feel I have learned so much doing that. I feel positive and peaceful and excited about a future with lots of happy healthy things in it rather than lots of alcohol.

As drybird said, it's just a way of life for me now. I didn't miss alcohol one bit last night. Instead of lying in a pit of shame, beer fear and messy house from a wild party, feeling like I want to puke, I have been up and done a yoga practice and feel so good. Unheard of in 1st of January's in the past. I am tired after a later than usual night but it's weird, i have no shame in admitting that. As someone said knowing the difference between tiredness and a hangover is a good feeling. I'm tired, therefore I will have a restful day today. No shame involved.

For anyone thinking of joining this thread and starting on the path to freedom from alcohol, i can only say "do it". It has been one of the best things I ever did nearly a year and a half ago.

Hope everyone enjoys their first of many a dry day of 2022.

@Breathmiller I literally relate to every word in this post!!! Like you it was my first completely dry year, I still have my “shit list” but I’m learning and the joy of being shame free on the first of January is tremendous.

Ps about your shoes! I have returned many many things past the return date - the return date doesn’t apply when there is a fault anyway! (The shoes shouldn’t have holes!) I know barefoot running is all the rage by the way, but personally I prefer a well cushioned shoe. Sportsshoes.com have great discounts this time of year. I usually order a few pairs and see what feels best.

I need new running shoes too! Spent a good part of Hogmanany puzzling over them. What do I need @BunniesBunniesBunnies, when I run as much off road as poss but am forced to run on pavements more in the winter? And is it true that you need to go up a size? I hadn't heard of that.lt when I bought my first pair.

I love running so much now, but am still clueless. 🥴🙂

@Drybird2020 most people do go up a size or so, but it really depends on the person and how much their foot swells! I go up half a size but some people I know go up 1.5 sizes! (Feet swell more over longer distances which is something to consider).

I would probably order a size up and if they are too big go half a size down. Like I said I normally order a few brands and sizes and send back what I don’t like. Finding the right brand and and size can be tricky but once you’ve got it you can keep buying those same shoes forever😂

If most of your running is on trails it’s really worth getting a pair of trail shoes. I don’t think you’re supposed to run on roads in trail shoes (though I’m sure some people do) so you could consider getting a pair of trail shoes and a pair of road shoes. This sounds expensive but as you’ll be getting more wear out of each pair that way the overall expensive will be the same (I need to replace mine every year as most shoes will only last about 1000km). If you only want to buy one pair you probably want to get trail shoes if you mostly run trails.

Some people like to go for a gait analysis at a shop. This can be extremely helpful (I’ve done it before) however the shoes in that shop will be more expensive than from websites like sportsshoes.com. Sometimes you can pay for the gait analysis (not expensive) and then buy the shoes online, which often still saves money.

Apart from quitting booze running is the absolute best thing I’ve done for my mental health. I’ve run more this year than I ever have before and I am so much healthier and happier as a result. Hopefully I can keep going this year!

Ps I’ve heard great things about Saucony Peregrine for a trail running shoe. Hoka is another popular brand but not everyone gets on with it and they are expensive! Personally I tend to get mine in the sale and often don’t spend more than £80 or so. Still a lot of money but they should last a year and it’s cheaper than therapy😂😂😂

@BunniesBunniesBunnies, you angel. That's all so helpful. I'll let you know know how I get on 😘

Thanks bunnies I have a bit of christmas money so maybe should look again. Or maybe ybe I should try to send them back. They don't have a hole but the bit where it overlaps is too big on one side and folds over on the inside and rubs terribly. I did try to send them photos but they wanted more photos and I went on holiday and didn't do it when i got back. Silly really. The thing is I do have a pair of normal trainers but I did really like the barefoot ones, the little running I managed in them. I wonder if because I am barefoot for work that I'm more comfortable in them.

I'll get them out and try taking a better photo. I have a real aversion to buying things online for this reason.

@Drybird2020 If you do a mix of trail and pavement then Hoka Challengers might be a good bet. They are an all terrain shoe so good cushioning for concrete and tarmac but work on trail as well- where I run there are bits of both (trail but also paved reservoir maintenance tracks). As @BunniesBunniesBunnies says, Hoka are a bit marmite because they basically "force" a forefoot strike (although when I'm tired I still somehow manage to heel strike in them) so build up the mileage in them rather than going straight out and doing a half marathon! HTH

Thanks @PrisonerofZeroCovid! I'll have a look at all terrain shoes generally and specially the hoka ones.

@Breathmiller did you find the barefoot ones comfortable, before they went wrong? I watched someone running in a pair and was sore just looking at the way her feet hit the pavement. My ageing joints definitely need a cushion. How's the grannying going? 👶

@Drybird20, @WobWib, @BunniesBunniesBunnies, @BreathMiller and more - I can’t tell you how encouraging your success stories are. Thank you for lighting the way ahead. Day 7 here and yesterday was the first day I’ve had real twinges around drinking. I’m very glad I ignored them and went to bed with a cuppa.

That’s great @AfreshAfreshAfresh! You’ve just done a really challenging week (booze wise) with all the celebrations, January should be a lot easier!

That’s a good shout about the all terrain shoes @PrisonerofZeroCovid

Checking in 🙌

Will update next week when I have more time. I'm going to an AA meeting Monday, I just want to do something physical as the zoom smarts are so easy to miss and they are 7-8:30pm each evening so horrible time essentially. Kids are in bed by half six/7. I go to bed at half 8 most nights so it's the only time I get to eat dinner and see my husband and 12 year old.

Wish me luck everyone! It's every Monday and I'm determined to stick with it untill something more smart based comes along locally that is in person

Anyone's experience of AA would be great to hear also. Especially as I'm a binger and not a daily, or even weekly drinker. I feel like it could be the wrong place but I just need to be part of something for it to stick this time I think

@Drybird2020

Thanks *@PrisonerofZeroCovid*! I'll have a look at all terrain shoes generally and specially the hoka ones.

@Breathmiller did you find the barefoot ones comfortable, before they went wrong? I watched someone running in a pair and was sore just looking at the way her feet hit the pavement. My ageing joints definitely need a cushion. How's the grannying going? 👶

Yes, apart from the folded over bit that rubs my skin off I love the feeling of being close to the ground. If I run on the treadmill I actually go barefoot. Must be related to Zola Budd somewhere 🤣. I feel like I won't twist my ankle. It feels...lighter somehow. I have very narrow feet, narrow ankles and a high instep and I think it makes me feel more grounded. It was the most confident I've ever felt running. But the folded over but properly gouges my foot. I've only used them twice with a long time in between to let it heal but it's impossible. It's only on one shoe so I think it is a fault.

Being a Granny is hands down the best job in the world. He came to stay for a couple of days and we had lots of bonding. I got him for 3 hours at 6am one morning and it was bliss( especially with no hangover of course) We just cuddled on the sofa waiting on the sun coming up. Seeing my DD be such a natural mum is a joy to watch.

Well done for taking that step champoopapi and good luck.

@ChampooPapi massive well done to you for deciding to go to that meeting! It does sound like an inconvenient time but your sobriety is the most important thing - You need to look after yourself in order to look after others.

I’ve never tried AA. Some people swear by it though and I think it’s possible to dissociate from the god stuff (if that’s not your thing) and still get a lot out of it. I think you’re excellent for recognising this is something that might benefit you, so why not try it and see if it helps?

@PrisonerofZeroCovid - how’s your day 1 going? Good luck. You sound very resolved. I had found similar - I just couldn’t moderate. Life feels much better without the physical results of drinking and the mental gymnastics of trying to not drink every day.

@PromisesMeanNothingSue your post really resonated with me. I found that stopping drinking enabled so many other positive outcomes! I still eat too many biscuits, but this time I know that I can do something about it.

@ChampooPapi all the best for Monday.

All the posts on exercise are interesting. I used to do just a couple of intensive sessions a week but am finding now that it’s more useful to do something every day. I enjoy walking, am a rookie cyclist and I have recently started doing Pilates on Apple Fitness. I have a wobble board thing too and do a few minutes a day on that. It’s definitely core that I need to work on most.

Thank you @Breathmiller and @Blackberryblossom, it always means a lot to me getting that kind of 'fist bump' From you guys here about a decision.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies yes I'm not religious so I'm going for the abstaining and group support. I think because there is nothing else in my small town there should hopefully be a range of people who although all use alcohol or/and drugs in a damaging way, there will be a spectrum of diversity. It's an open meeting and for women only. There is also one in the evening the same day for when I'm on placement/working ect.

I'll let you know how it goes, I've done a group meeting based on smart recovery before when we lived in Bristol and we t for about 4 months. Really did help me stay sober. I then got pregnant so stopped going as I was then sober by default for the next 9 months.

Thank you for all your support 💜

Happy New Year everyone and best of luck @ChampooPapi for your meeting. That’s great you have decided to take further action to help you on your mission. I’ve really enjoyed reading everyone’s posts today.

I’m glad 2022 has arrived. I’m still feeling generally really ropey, but I’ve just started HRT and really hoping it will help, especially with the anxiety, which has been crushing over the holidays at times. I’ve managed an AF Christmas and New Year, except I have had Christmas cake and trifle, and I have stupidly had a few sips here and there of DH’s drinks when he has asked me to try them, which I know has been a stupid thing to do. I have been stressed out my box with houseguest and have guests tomorrow and hopefully after that I can work on a strategy to chill the feck out. Sorry I’m not very upbeat for the thread. I was determined to nail an AF holiday and jump out of bed each day like a spring lamb and it’s just not been the reality. Hurrah for a New Year at least.