The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

We are having a new kitchen this month and it currently has a wine cooler planned which will go on the end opposite the living room. Now I'm AF, it seems like this might be a bad idea. Not sure DH will be keen to remove it though. What do you all think? Should I leave it or speak to him?

kindtomyself Ouch. It's so hard being disappointed for your children, isn't it? Does she know about the meet up yet or is it a case of you needing to tell her before she finds out anyway? I had this with DD a few years ago when she was definitely the "third wheel" in a friendship group with two other girls who were basically BFFs (family friends as well as classmates). All I could do was really encourage diversification because she was just getting sidelined all the time (to be fair in her efforts to break in she was trying to drive a bit of a wedge, so she wasn't entirely blameless). Now she has a much wider group of friends, both at school and outside and has relaxed socially which has become a bit of a virtuous circle for her.

@Newmum738 is it the size of a standard kitchen cupboard? If so you could just replace it with that. (And save money) But if I had a wine fridge, I would fill it with home made kombucha, which is taking over the kitchen!

@Kindtomyself. That is difficult. I would just try to ensure your DD has something else fun they can do to keep their mind off of it. Tween/teen girl friendships are a minefield and it seems there is always someone super popular and someone left out. I’ve had similar with mine and just try to encourage wider friendships and say nice things to bolster self esteem. I also try and encourage inclusion of others as they can all be selfish little madams at times too!
@Newmum738. I’d say it depends on the size of the cooler and whether your DH drinks white wine? I love cold soft drinks so would be happy to store them in it with my Nozeco if it’s small. If it’s a half wall size ‘look at my lovely wine cellar’ type, I’d maybe ditch it. Lovely to get a new kitchen though!

Home made kombucha - I need to know how to do this! Love the ones at Holland and Barret but £2 each!

So I’m 22 months in. Just back from holiday where I admit I did struggle as it was a very drink oriented place. National industry/drink - alcohol whoever you look! I do find holidays harder for some reason. I think the change unsettles me and I can’t reach for a drink to cope. Anyway managed it even if I did feel a bit flat.

Just thinking through my resolutions. No new clothes. Continue with my fitness challenges. I might do this podcast that someone recommended podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/9-powerful-reflection-questions-for-2021/id1450994021?i=1000546010728

Meant to say well done everyone else! Each day AF you do is an achievement- it does get so much easier. The sleep takes a while but mine slowly improved. I did feel crap for the first month though.

Thank you for the name check, @iamyourequal, really kind of you. I had a few glasses of champagne over Christmas/NY so haven’t belonged here. I haven’t had any urge to drink to excess though, but realise if I carried on I likely would, so back to AF. Hope your post-festivities healthy new start is going well.

Nice to see you @SparklingLime!
Just wanted to say I think it’s great that you have decided to go back to AF👍👍👍 (In this case, you definitely do belong here😃).

Hope all is well with you!

Hi all . I’m on very wobbly ground today . Feel very low and flat . Need a big pick me up but not in the form of alcohol !!! I can feel my head turning though . Gah!!!!

I think we’re both stuck with AF due to our livers, @Adm1010? So there’s that. Hold firm, you’ve done so before when feeling very wobbly. Is there anything you can do this afternoon just to change your perspective a bit?

Thank you, @BunniesBunniesBunnies.

(Not just due to our livers, but that adds another level of concern.)

@SparklingLime I’m just chilling this afternoon , been in work this morning . Going to cook a roast and my DH has gone to buy cake . Cake always helps

I think my hormones might be all over as well , I’m firmly in menopause territory, I’ve started taking a supplement .

Yay for cake! I believe we’re meant to “sit with” the feeling of flatness, rather than necessarily boosting ourselves out of it? Perhaps a bit of both?

I feel the same @Adm1010 wobbly and flat. I ask myself why I'm feeling this way and sit with it, but then I don't like the answers I get; I'm not happy where I live and feel my world is too small and I feel suffocated, frustrated then depressed. Previously I used to just try and get on with it and look forward to a drink every night to numb the feelings.

It's not easy.

Yah! Yippee @SparklingLime is back with us!
This is sooo where you belong! Good to have you back.
@Adm1010, sorry you are having a glum day. Stay strong and think how you have helped others on here when needed. Cake is definitely the answer. (And hormones are the enemy).
I’ve just had tea and a big slice of homemade cheesecake. So healthy eating now starting when schools go back (still have the chocolate tree decorations and lots of cheese to demolish).
Congratulations @ doorornottodoor. 22 months is amazing!

@iamyourequal good advice - cake and tea really does help

@doorornottodoor massive congrats on your 22 months! That’s amazing!

@Touty @Adm1010 sorry you are feeling flat. I think @SparklingLime is right - when you’re feeling like that, a bit of both (cheering yourself up and sitting with your feelings) is required. Sitting with your feelings is fucking hard, I’ve gotten better it (well I had no choice as I now don’t drink anymore😅) but it is still hard. That’s where the cake comes in!!!🤩🤩🤩 Treat yourself to small nice things - a cake, a roast, a nice new cosmetic, an undisturbed cup of tea or a nice long bath. Hope you both feel a bit better soon!

It does @Touty. It’s a little pick-you-up when blue.
I’ve not gained weight over Christmas for first time ever. I have eaten sausage rolls, pate, cheesecake, sticky toffee pudding, chocolates, Christmas cake, Stilton, camembert….the list goes on. It’s a definite positive from freeing up those alcohol calories! I would normally gain about 5lb from all the extra wine and tonnes of crisps & dips and tipsy mindless eating.

Literally never tried to sit with my feelings ! That’s really interesting actually because as soon as I feel this way I look to either fix it or dull it …. Going to give this some thought ! Thankyou all xxx

And @Touty I’m sorry you are blue as well . Keep going , I know I’m going to . Xx

Thanks @Adm1010 yes we will keep going. I've just poured myself a tonic water with ice and 🍋 lemon

@iamyourequal and @PrisonerofZeroCovid thanks so much for your replies. I'm embarrassed that I get so upset about dd I think it triggers something in me - I just need to be aware of it

Just to add I'm learning to sit with my feelings and it's amazing. Previously I would also be running away/drinking but now I sit and observe and it is not as awful as it first seemed. Takes a bit of getting used to but it is well worth it. I've still got my 'L' plate and probably will have for a good while but I'm improving

Nothing to be embarrassed about at all @Kindtomyself. Imagine if you didn’t give a toot about your DDs relationships?! She is lucky to have a mum who cares so much.
@Touty. I missed your post earlier. Is there any potential for you to move, or are you stuck? I feel for you. It’s rotten to consider alternatives when nothing can be done. I live in a modern housing estate in a built up town. I grew up in a beautiful village in the Highlands and when I compare and contrast sometimes it’s depressing!