The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

I find the driving thing really liberating. It encapsulates the wider freedom of not planning my entire life around drinking.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I had my last drink ever on 30th December 2019. So, this will be my 3rd sober Hogmanay 😁

Quick check in .

Amazing @Drybird2020, the 30th is so near now🥳

And YES to the driving! I love being able to drive anywhere, anytime!😊

Hi all. @PerfectHarmony. Could we be married to the same man…lol. I’ve been taking deliveries of artisan spirits all week as he merrily builds up his Christmas drinks cabinet!
@Breathmiller. I used to hate it being my turn to drive more than anything. I just couldn’t bear to go to a party/family gathering knowing I was the driver. Many times I have hosted a party for 20 plus extended family, (doing all drinks, full homemade buffet and a big house-clean), just so that I could be guaranteed the opportunity to drink. I preferred to spend a full 2 days of my weekend/holidays prepping than having to attend someone else’s party sober.
Here in Scotland I could almost cope in the old days knowing I could have one drink at the start of a someone else’s long party, as it would take the edge off my nerves and help me. When the drink driving law changed so I wasn’t even allowed one crummy drink, I hated going out and having to drive. Crazy.

Thank you ladies for your support. @BunniesBunniesBunnies ive had blood tests done with a gynecologist as I'm really struggling probably with menopause, the consultant also said that antidepressants can stop working with low hormone levels, so I'm hoping he can give me some hrt or something to take away this awful flat hopelessness. Feel like there is no joy in my life. I know I need to get my mental health sorted to stay sober.

Ive looked in the cupboard and it looks like a drank a bottle of gin, a whole bottle. There is 1 left and tomorrow it goes out.

I thought I could pace myself with the drink but of course I can't.

It’s great you’re seeing a gynaecologist @Touty, hopefully they can help manage the symptoms. And I hope they have helpful suggestions for managing your depression too. It’s awful feeling low, it just makes everything seem so pointless and like such hard work.

I was extremely low when I quit drinking, but quitting booze made such a huge beneficial difference to my mental health. If I had known I would have quit much sooner!

Most people on here have a “toolbox” - things we turn to when life gets hard. This can be anything, like nice baths, tasty treats, yoga, walks, knitting, audiobooks, gardening, coffees with friends and chatting on here! What sort of things do you enjoy doing? Or if you’re not finding much joy in things at the moment, what sort of things have you enjoyed in the past? Having a few things in your toolbox will help with cravings and generally with mood.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I need a tool box!! I have been thinking about the build up to my binge last week , I should have recognised it and had my “ tools “ in place . Literally could kick myself!!

Back to work today after my weeks leave . I genuinely feel refreshed . So I can’t say I’m bouncing into work but I’m not dragging myself in iyswim ? I know part of it is I’ve actually rested!! And eaten better . And done things that make me happy ( seeing my sons ) rather than take the excuse to drink more as I didn’t have to get up in the mornings . It’s nice ! And a revelation!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies yes I need a tool box. I just feel at the moment that I can't sit with myself in peace with my thoughts and feelings, without a drink everyday to blot it all out, what is there? Anxiety about things and the future.

I stay in bed most of the day so I don't have to face anything.

@Touty I’m sorry you’re feeling low - it’s a hard place to be. It sounds like you are having some support from health professionals and I really hope that makes a difference soon. Keep posting and reach out to any family and friends you have who can help. Low mood and depression are awful to work through but believe it can pass.

Take care

@Touty - sorry you are struggling. I get it - I've done a bottle of vodka in a day and a bottle of gin in a day so I know what it is like to drink at those levels. I once worked my way back through my bank statements and calculated that I had drank 40 bottles (yes, forty) of vodka or gin in 2 months. And I was still functioning to a degree which shows the level of tolerance I had. I work full time so couldn't stay in bed all day even though the urge to do that was there, but I did use alcohol to blot out the world after work.

It looks like your last binge was Saturday night??? It is only Monday today - it takes me about 3 days to recover from the anxiety and restlessness that comes following a binge. When I am like that, I try to visualise my body getting more and more detoxified with every hour that passes. I placate myself with the knowledge that if I don't drink, I will feel much better in the not too distant future. I had a fairly early menopause (around age 44) and it was the first time in my life I would have said I was depressed/anxious. Of course I had the usual low times and anxious periods but this was feeling low and anxious for no "real" reason. That was what was different and made it hard to deal with - if there was no reason, there was no change that could happen to make it better, if that makes sense? Probably around the time I started drinking to excess although its really been the past 4 years or so that have been full on alcohol abuse and emotional dependency.

So without sounding patronising, please try and just get over the hangxiety first then you can maybe focus on the issues that you are trying to numb out with alcohol. I really feel for you, I know how hopeless it can feel - but we both know that alcohol is just kicking the can down the road and doesn't help in the long run.

Checking in 🙌

Still feeling like absolute crud a week on. I really did a number on myself. But determined to stay dry, and to stay dry for good.

Alcohol free Christmas here we go 🎄☮️💜

@ChampooPapi

Checking in 🙌

Still feeling like absolute crud a week on. I really did a number on myself. But determined to stay dry, and to stay dry for good.

Alcohol free Christmas here we go 🎄☮️💜

Sorry to hear you still feel crud! You sound very determined so more power to your elbow.

Checking in ✅

@Touty. Let us know how you get on with the gynecologist. I am getting my first HRT prescription next week. It took me a long time to work out the the flat mood is hormone related. I slumped to the stage where I just couldn’t get any joy from anything.
I started a few things to try and fix this myself (going AF the biggest by a mile!) but definitely feel I need HRT to try and fix other issues, worst of which is feeling flat, interspersed with bad nerves and dreadful waves of anxiety.

But tonight I want to share a significant AF milestone with you all (you can laugh 😂 if you like, my tween DD certainly did when she saw me…..) This evening, for the first time ever, I enjoyed dancing in my kitchen to dance music without feeling sorry for myself that I couldn’t drink. In the couple of years I have been trying to give up drinking this has been kind of the biggest no-no. I couldn’t even face hearing dance music such was my connection between dance music and getting drunk (and imagining a fun young me which is a million years ago anyway). I know it all sounds a little ridiculous (chubby middle-aged mum throwing shapes in her kitchen) but to me it’s a personal triumph and is making me feel strong. I don’t mean that I couldn’t imagine enjoying a drink, I absolutely could, I would have loved one in a way. The point I am making is I was at peace with the reasoning of why I can’t have one.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on. I hope everyone is is getting through the day ok. Those on the start of this mission or experiencing really hard times with it. Please hang in there. It absolutely does get easier. It’s learning a new skill. It takes time, but it does pay off.

Shortest day tomorrow, which I always feel happy for as it means we can look forward to a full 6 months of the days getting longer. Take care all.

Hi everyone, just a quick check-in from me. If you’d have asked me in mid October whether today I’d be 50 days alcohol free and heading into a sober Christmas… I’d have laughed heartily at you. That’s where I am, though.

I won’t say it’s been easy; I’ve mainly felt flat and exhausted. At least I understand why that is, now, and I’m seeing it as confirmation that I need to stop fucking up my neurotransmitters with alcohol and let my mind and body rebalance. I’ve found a passion for learning about the neurophysiology of it all… I’m even considering doing a MSc in it.

Hope you’re all well and feeling festive rather than stressed. Will read back now.

@PromisesMeanNothingSue 50 days is amazing!

@iamyourequal love dancing in the kitchen too!!! I think it’s even better sober as I’m doing it purely for the joy of it, rather than because I’m a bit tipsy. My children and OH love a little kitchen dance party too! Dancing in the kitchen these days is one of those little moments that give me real joy, so I get it!

@ChampooPapi sorry you’re still feeling a bit crap. Just keep going. You’re doing great.

It’s just before 7am and I’m enjoying a coffee in bed whilst everyone is still asleep. I love these little peaceful moments before the storm starts. I feel a little tired but clearheaded and excited about the days ahead. Enjoying these early quiet moments is one of the great joys of waking up hangover free for me.

Hope everyone is feeling okay about the sober days ahead.

Thanks @AlloftheTime and @BunniesBunniesBunnies 🎄

Checking in 🙌

Checking in 55 days.Temptation all around. Need to think about a bloody big toolbox to get me through the next 2 weeks.I started HRT around 2 months @Touty and @iamyourequal after experiencing the flatness you describe.Put on antidepressants for a year before the HRT which worked at first then the anxiety started to creep back and I had awful brain fog.HRT has been fantastic for me.My head is clearer and I'm just happier and have my energy back.I stopped drinking at the same time though so it's hard to say which if it's the HRT or the AF.I think I'd still drinking without the HRT though.I feel more motivated to be healthy.

Oooh @Chrispackhamspoodle. That’s great you are already feeling a good bit better. Do you mind me asking what HRT they gave you? I have appointment for mine end of month and want to try and get the best stuff!
@ChampooPapi are you feeling any better today?
Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies. I’ve now learned to make up playlists on my phone so there’s no stopping me now. Glad I’m not the only one!
Congratulations @PromisesMeanNothingSue on 50 days! That’s amazing.
It’s not easy but I think every one of us on here can get through Christmas AF together. I’m trying to do the Annie Grace thing and view it as an important experiment, along the ‘if you don’t like it you can do something different next time’ line. I can see it all far enough to be honest. I love my family dearly but I really can’t face hosting the houseguests and all the meals I’m going to have to prepare, or sitting watching crap on tv watching everyone else gets tipsy. I’d better wake up with a more positive mindset tomorrow!

@Chrispackhamspoodle yes there is a lot of temptation this time of year but I love what @iamyourequal is saying: if you don’t like it you can always do something different next year. That attitude has helped me so much. The truth is for me after my AF Christmas last year - I loved it so much that even if I ever did go back to drinking I’m hoping all my Christmases will be AF!

Crikey this has been a stressful week with on/off/on/off ski holiday. And alcohol has crossed my mind a few times. We are here in the snowy alps at last with a 0 beer. Made it! In more ways than one. I was a year AF on 18th December so this will be my 2nd AF Xmas.
But this is the first sober ski trip. So much of it is usually based around drinking. Lots of new habits to make.

@Stuckhere2021 thanks so much for your encouragement. You've done so well to give it up. I know what you mean about kicking the van down the road, if just got to be able to get used to not having booze to blot things out.

@iamyourequal hi, I heard from the gynecologist today and he said that it looks like I am entering menopause and he prescribed me low dose combined tablet of estrogen and progesterone on a continuous basis. So I'm hoping they do something to take this awful flatness and hopelessness away.

Ok so have now cleared the house of all booze. I have spoken to DH and said this time I have to do it. DH doesn't drink at all and has been worried about my drinking for ages, I used to think he was just boring but deep down I always knew he was right, the problem is I just don't have an off switch when I'm on a binge.

I am trying to remember my life before alcohol, I remember being relatively care free and able to get joy from simple things. I'd say that by my early 20s I had developed an alcohol problem. Thinking about it, booze has caused me so many problems in my life.

I am hoping my antidepressants will start working again now the booze has gone. I have today started taking hrt tablet.

Can anyone recommend any online alcohol support meetings?

Well done @Touty!
AA does online meetings but not every one gets on with those, some posters here go to online SMART meetings. I’ve not been but I’m sure someone more knowledgeable will be along to advise. Good luck.

Just checking in/place marking. It's really helpful to read everyones posts.