The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

I know what you mean about the word “years” coming onto the horizon @Breathmiller🤩🤩🤩

@Adm1010 cinema trip with the family sounds perfect😁

@indiesearcher I know exactly what you mean about being able to help your dad with her emotions and be fully present for her.

@ChampooPapi good luck with the smart meeting!!!

@Kindtomyself glad to hear you are fine🙂

Crossposted with @Kindtomyself. Your last sentence about not being in control of alcohol really resonates with me. Also what you say about being better equipped to deal with things. Basically your whole post rings true to me😂😂😂 I could have posted that😅 Anyway I just wanted to say good luck unpicking things, it’s hard at times but it will be worth it x

Just checking in for Friday evening. Congratulations bunniesx3 for 20 months and Chrispackhamspoodle on 50 days. And to everyone who’s just trying to get an alcohol free Friday done and dusted.

Thank you breathmiller. I am resetting to basics, ie one day at a time and when that’s a struggle, an hour at a time. I am full of cold at the moment and completely exhausted from the end of school stuff, all when I didn’t have a lot of energy post covid. I know that a hot toddy would.not fix this, whereas a few early nights and a bit of self care will be far more helpful.

How are all the new posters doing? Thinking of you all.

bunnies I can’t even work out when my 20 months would be! Thank you for your quiet and steady inspiration here.

@Kindtomyself good to see your post, and I can relate so much to it too. Your words will stay with me, such an insightful and inspiring message it conveyed. You have squared up to this world, bold and sober. You are only gaining more power and confidence from this sobriety. I salute you, I think we do 🙌

This has been so nice to read tonight, there's some great pearls of wisdom and insight from people at all different stages. Thanks to those who have popped in from months and years on, it's nice to hear!

I'm 3 weekends in now and I feel pretty good. There's been some ups and downs but I feel more present, in the past I would have spent all day today looking forward to a bottle of wine, and knowing that that's not happening seems to have cleared my head space a bit if that makes sense. Over the last week or so I've found myself mulling over lots of things that I haven't thought about in ages, like whether to do something with my garden or read a new book. Little things that have made me feel quite happy and generally made me brighter. It might sound silly and maybe it's got nothing to do with not drinking but I feel a bit like there's some green shoots of positivity and joy where I've been feeling so flat for quite a long time. Perhaps it's a chicken and egg situation though and feeling a little brighter is what's given me the drive to go AF and really do it. Who knows but it's good enough for now.

I was sorry to hear some of you struggling and feeling bad after drinking, please focus on the fact that you're back here and you're trying, its like that saying about exercise - even if you only ran 5 minutes you still did more than if you'd stayed on the sofa.

Keep on everyone and have a good AF weekend!

Checking in 🙌

Thanks @Blackberryblossom!
@pantherinapantsuit you are doing great. I really recognise what you’re saying as well. One of the greatest things about quitting drinking is that little things give me joy again. I love the small pleasures of life again now and get so much strength from them.

Hi All. @pantherinapantsuit @BunniesBunniesBunnies. I totally feel that way too. My mind being free of the moderating game is a blessed relief. I’m also really enjoying small things. My morning coffee. Going to bed sober, having made up hot water bottles, instead of falling asleep on the sofa and being grouchy when woken. I will never take these things for granted. My DH has already hinted about me having real fizz instead of AF at Christmas but I am not going to do it. If I ever drink again (and I don’t want to) it would be my decision on my terms. Not a decision made in the moment to make my family feel better because they are all drinking!
Have a nice Saturday everyone. I’m staying in today getting prep done in house so will def be back later.

Checking in 🙂

@iamyourequal it's great to see you doing so well and enjoying the peace and small things.

I had a big win the other night, DS had to go to A&E and I just put my coat on and drove him there. This time two years ago I would almost certainly have been pissed and the stress would have been many times greater. He's fine, BTW 😁

Checking in on day 21 -how ?!
I honestly never thought I'd get here, @pantherinapantsuit we must've started at about the same time.
Thanks @BunniesBunniesBunnies and everybody else here too. I truly know that I could not have got here today without all of your words.

Last night my DH was having his usual Friday night binge (He binges on 3/4 nights every week as I used to do) and I had a pang, it wasn't awful and it's so hard to describe but just a feeling of something 'catching' in the back of my throat that invoked an emotional response from deep inside, I found myself looking at his (huge) glass of wine and wanting that feeling of utter relaxation (we all know where this ends though) So, I snuck my phone into my dressing-gown pocket and went 'to the loo' where I sat reading through all of your posts from yesterday and, it was all I needed to make me strong. I went and got a lovely cold AF free lager and lime and didn't look back. I am so, grateful and I know my loo trip is another little tool in my tool box to pull out when I need it most. Thank you all xxx

@PerfectHarmony well done on riding the temptation . It just catches doesn’t it!!

Having a quiet day today . My parents stayed over last night after our cinema trip with the boys and they’ve just gone so feet up and chill today I think .

Happy sober Saturday all x

Amazing @PerfectHarmony, you should be so proud of yourself.
@Drybird2020 how wonderful you could be there for your son when he needed you. I hope he is okay now!

Hello I've been away too long. I have to give up alcohol again otherwise I'm afraid I will die of alcohol poisoning. I thought I could keep alcohol in the house. Last night I had a binge and I'm scared to look in the cupboard to see how much I got through. I'm in tears and feeling horrific.
My antidepressants have stopped working and I'm in menopause, I'm tired of feeling depressed and hopeless

Thanks @Drybird2020. You are one of the main posters who helped me see sense that the moderation game is a losing battle, so I owe you thanks for that! I’m very pleased to hear your son is ok. A&E trips with the kids are always a huge worry.

Good on you resisting @PerfectHarmony. It’s not easy seeing them sit drinking feet away from you is it? I feel my DH is drinking too much, I guess probably as it’s December and he is stressed, but I wish he would stop too (I’ve never mentioned this of course) I’m now in my 4th month going AF and DH hasn’t said one positive or encouraging word about it yet. He wants me to start drinking again I’m sure. It’s soul destroying. Giving up alcohol is one of my proudest achievements in life.
Welcome back @Touty. Are you able to get rid of all the alcohol left in the cupboard? Or is it someone else’s? You are doing the right thing deciding to stop completely now. Keep posting and tell us how you’ve been getting on.

@Touty welcome! I’m sorry you’re feeling so low. I’m giving you a gentle nudge to:

1. walk over to the cupboard and poor the remaining booze down the sink (it feels great I promise!)
2. speak to your GP about adjusting your AD dose, and also HRT (if you don’t take it already).

But tonight just take it easy. Have a nice bath and a cup of tea and an early night. It won’t fix all your problems but it’s a step in the right direction.

And I’ve been there (feeling so depressed and hopeless), but it doesn’t have to be forever. You can do it.

Day 6 check in. Feeling good mentally and physically. My face always looks sooooo bad after a bender but it’s back to normal now. No desire to drink which is good as I’ve the house to myself so could drink without judgement - but I really do not want to.

Hope everyone has managed to get through Friday and Saturday as they had hoped ie AF or moderating. Those who didn’t - we’ve all been there. Get back on the 🐎 and don’t let a blip become a disaster ❤️👍

Checking in and wishing you all well for the rest of the weekend. Good to hear from those many months down the line posting with their insights and also those in the early few days and weeks. I’m sorry some of you are facing challenging situations at home and in work - if you’ve slipped and got back here I’m full of admiration and wishing you well.
I’m heading towards five months and reflecting on my journey and also considering the coming Christmas period.

Firstly I’m so pleased I found this place! I’m convinced it has been the difference between me managing a few dry days/weeks and the nearly five months I’m currently enjoying. The early days are a little hazy now - so many early nights, binge watching Gray’s Anatomy, too much sugar consumed and many pots of tea. I do remember not going out for a pint of milk one late afternoon/early evening as I knew temptation was ready to pounce. Also shopping trips where I couldn’t walk down certain aisles (even to look for AF drinks!) I’ve read about the wine witch and the conversations some of you recounted, I don’t remember ever talking to her as she just lived in my head and gave directions which I blindly followed.

I don’t crave a glass of wine now which seems extraordinary to me and a glass of Zerocecco is quite sufficient in the evening or with a meal.
I do try to maintain an awareness and not feel complacent as I know how easy it can slip but I no longer desire alcohol and hope I can continue enjoying the benefits. I generally sleep much better, my skin has improved and is not so dry, I still relish the mornings with a clear head, I have more money and mostly I like myself this (AF) way.

This year has been full of ups and downs including a broken relationship, a house sale, new location, family illnesses and many small difficulties. I don’t need to explain why dealing with most of it sober was more manageable than the alternative!
The ups have been a sense of accomplishment for leaving an abusive partner, regaining my independence, having the capacity to support others through bereavement and acknowledging I can happily go it alone in the world.

Thanks again for all the stories and support it has sustained me more than I can explain. Keep focused and do whatever you need to as an individual to continue on this journey.

May your Sunday be sober, sunny and fun x

Thanks @AlloftheTime, congratulations on 5 months ! Your post has given me hope and an insight into a future I want to grab and run with.
@Touty you're here now, lots of us have been where you are, keep reaching out, coming back and reading, before you know it your days will turn into weeks !
@iamyourequal I think the fact that they're sat there drinking in front of us is good in some respects - we're already used to facing alcohol and having it in the house so it's a hurdle jumped early on.
On the down- side though, like you I have no support, mine is never going to tell me 'well done' as sadly, he's never going to see it as a cause to celebrate, he's very firmly in the camp 'you may as well die now as your life will be so boring without alcohol', he also hates the fact that my NOT drinking is shining a bloody big spotlight on his drinking which he hates as he likes to think he can't ever be wrong !
Happy Sunday everyone, embrace that clear- headed feeling !

Lovely post @AlloftheTime, you have done amazing staying sober facing those challenges💪💪💪 5 months will be an amazing milestone, too👍

@PerfectHarmony it must be hard with no support but I do think that will make you stronger in your sobriety, after all this is something we have to do for ourselves, not for anyone else. Plus you always have us🙂 Keep going, you’re doing great!

@Drybird2020 when is your 2 year anniversary again? Is it just after Christmas or is it New Year’s Day?

@AlloftheTime - great post - so inspiring and I recognise much of what you say. @PerfectHarmony - sorry you don’t have support from your DP, that’s tough. Mine is (99% of the time) very supportive and has changed his habits to accommodate me staying AF. Of course going and staying sober is an individual journey and we each need to do our own hard work. But I know for a fact that if my DH had offered me alcohol or encouraged drinking during a “craving” phase, I’d have taken it.

Off to the cinema later to watch “It’s a wonderful life” which is a family tradition. The cinema sells alcohol and we usually always take our own too. There’s been several times I’ve actually fallen asleep during it owing to too much red wine. But I will be completely sober and present this year. Then a nice family meal in a restaurant which may be the last time for a while so am going to make the most of that without drinking alcohol.

Hope you all have a great Sunday and don’t struggle too much if that’s where you are at.

Well done and thanks for the inspiration @PerfectHarmony. Sending love and strength to you @Touty.

I'm on Day 22 and my 3rd hangover free weekend (never mind AF!). Whilst the temptation is strong sometimes, remembering the hangover and knowing if I stay off it I'll have good sleep and feel great is keeping me in a good place. I bought low/no alcohol assorted beer case from Beerhawk and that has been perfect. Not only do I have AF drinks but it's a selection of new beers to try.

Christmas is going to be tough but I have to drive on Boxing Day anyway and had been feeling grumpy about not being able to drink. Now I'll be able to just enjoy my family. I'll have a whole Xmas break where I can be present and energised for my 3y/o hopefully!

newmum738* well done.
It's funny but I used to be grumpy about not being able to drink because I was driving. Now, I don't ever drink so always drive and I never get grumpy about it anymore. I suppose because it isn't stopping me doing anything I want to do. I don't have to fight for my "turn" to have a drink.

I'm happy to drive back from meals out because I wouldn't be drinking anyway.
I hadn't really thought of that as another benefit.

I can also remember that when it was my turn to drive that I'd come home and open a bottle of wine. More in annoyance than anything. How funny. I'd forgotten that.
I used to get annoyed because dh will happily drink beer in the evening without food whereas I would have preferred to have drank wine with my meal.

Not counting my younger days of course where, to be honest, I drank before the meal, during the meal and after the meal.

Checking in 🙌