30 days from now.

[Amdone123]

Evening all.
If anyone is interested in quitting alcohol for 30 days ( in the first instance), please join us.
I've had a busy month ; Wimbledon, Football, birthday, anniversary and have drank way too much.
I've given up before and felt great so am trying again.

Sorry rambling a bit now but its good to know that many of us are on here for very similar reasons. I am not going to drink today. I will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

@Soberanne, that's the spirit ! You can do today.

I totally agree, I don't know if it is just nostalgia but when they were little the parenting stuff just seemed so much easier or more interesting at least in terms of activities and days out, easier to have stuff planned regularly that we all enjoyed. Although I'm sure I didn't think so at the time. But now they are older it's just like pulling teeth, with the older one anyway.

Time to get a life myself rather than opening a bottle. I am becoming dependent on the calm app. I took the plunge and signed up, if anyone doesn't have it I'd totally recommend it. You can do a 7 day free trial and after that if you keep it, it does cost money but not too much. You just have to remember to cancel it before the 7 days is up if you don't want to pay for it. I have never been able to meditate or be mindful. My mind races constantly and I think part of the (false) benefit for me around wine is that for a while it quiets my mind but obviously it then kick starts hugely and gives me major anxiety as soon as that temporary quiet wears off. So each time I'm having a wobble I am trying to meditate/ be mindful using the app. So far so good. Although at this rate I may spend most of the day trying to mediate and not get any work done!

@Kittensgalore, that app sounds like something I could do with.
I've just got in from work and realised I've made a cock up with someone's hours. It's not really my mess ( I'm not the supervisor), but it's going round my head now 110 miles an hour. I was just thinking I'd normally have a drink to counteract this. But I don't want one really. I was thinking the other day how I got to drink this much and it was probably through teaching / stress. I would definitely come home and drink when teaching. I feel stressed now with this problem and am wondering if I should give up the cleaning job as I can't be bothered with this stress ( it's not anyone else's fault. It's just be and the way I deal with crap).
Sorry for the rant but I definitely need to practice some meditation. I'm going to have a heart attack one day.

Sothe shop has closed So alcohol for today is no longer an option. Hope everyone else is getting through ok. Its been tougher today, havent felt great and myanxiety is up and down but i am still here.

@Soberanne, well done. It's not easy I know, but you did it.

Totally empathise with the treadmill analogy. It does get easier the more drink free days you have but getting through day one is hard.

I've had slip ups already but the way I see it is I want to be able to drink less permanently. I'd rather get to the end of the 30 days with a better relationship with alcohol which is going to stick rather than due the 30 days slip-up free then go back to binge drinking again.

Well done all. I mean really well done. Hats off well done.
It’s so nice to hear your stories regarding when they were little. I think you/ one goes through a kind of bereavement. Missing them so much.
Nope, I succumbed even though I spent all day mentally preparing. I think I feel if I write on here it kind of absolves me. Except it doesn’t. Mr alcohol is very very sneaky. Re Reading for tips!
Tomorrow is another day 🤨

@youboozeyoulose, that's so true. I was thinking the other day that I've had spells of being af, 30 days, 45 once ! But every time I've just got back on it. Slowly but surely ended up worse. So if I can use this time to really think about what I want my relationship with it to look like, I can win. I've already thought about it lots. I don't want hangover. I want to have a glass or 2 then stop. It will be hard but I suppose most things worth doing are.
@Winenota, I've done that. Said today I am not drinking, I've gone shopping and for some reason unbeknownst to me, it's in the basket.
So many different factors I think.

Amdone123 that did make me laugh 😂

Hi all day 4 here. Woke up and my headache is gone but the fuzz is still there. I havent even attempted to go to The shop as i have one of those baskets too that just fill up With wine by themselves. Good luck everyone we are doing. My priority is sobriety .

Morning all. @Soberanne, glad the headache has gone. Keep cool today with lots of water, that should keep it well away.
Day 8 here I think ! The sun has depleted my brain cells. I've got work today and tomorrow and through the night, I thought on Thursday I'll sit in the garden, read my book....and drink. I batted that thought away.
On Thursday I'll sit in the garden, read, relax, drink sparkling water and eat ice cream.
That's better .
Have a good day everyone.

Its just such a habit isnt it. I am always having to rethink in the same way. I was thinking this morning i will have a drink while doing the tesco online order on friday. Rephrase i will have a nice glass of cordial and some nibbles. Ahhhhhh when did it become so engrained in our thinking.

I know, but baby steps is the best way forward I think. It is worrying how it gets so ingrained in your mindset. Like I could never imagine going out and not drinking. I wouldn't even have a non alcoholic drink in a pub before, even when hungover. I suppose it didn't happen overnight so it's going to take a while to change the mindset. I really admire people who are teetotal. It's good to know that they say they barely think about it now.
Anyway, one day at a time for now.

I agree and if i fall off the wagon i am not going back to day one as thats soul destroying, i will continue on my 30 days as even if i only do 20 days sober over 30 then thats still more sober days then before. For me if i say i will never drink again it sets off the fear and it all seems too big. So just now its just being sober today.

Talking about relationships with alcohol, I was wondering about everyone's view of alcohol when they were growing up. Mine is really interesting ( I think!!).
My mum was a big drinker ; lager, then whisky. It wasn't unusual to see her and a friend finish a bottle before going out. She was always laughing ( til The Change. But that's another story). Of an evening, she would switch the tv off and put songs on and we would all act daft and dance. She had a brilliant sense of humour and when she died (56, brain aneurysm), everyone at her funeral related the funniest stories.
My dad was very serious. A lovely man, a great dad, erudite. Never saw him drink. Had he been born in a different class, probably Oxbridge material. He had a good sense of humour, a clever one, but I never laughed with him much.
So, growing up, I definitely equated drinking to fun. Which I suppose it is. Til it becomes addictive.
My first experience of a pub was being taken to one with my mum, aged 15, and drinking lager. My sister came too. She was 14. I remember my mum saying she did this because ' at least she knew where we were.'
Shocking.

I think its interesting how our early experiences of alcohol influence us. I have a very strange relationship with alcohol. My parents didn't drink. Well they did but only one glass at new year. But it was an event and its was almost like liquid gold. As a young child i was in awe of that glass.
But both my mum and granDmother worked as barmaids in a pub and as a child we hung around waiting for them to finish their afternoon shifts. I saw the opposite side of alcohol, the drunk men blowing their wages etc etc and my mother was often sharing how horrified she was that so and sos kids had no dinner as the mother blew the money in the pub.
Then as a teenager all my friends drunk and so did i. We had a right laugh and i have good memories but again my mum always spoke of the shame.
Now i have a drink problem. But i see alcohol as shameful and have always hidden it. Which is one of the reasons its escalated. The never drink alone is all i have ever done. I dont drink socially. Can easy go out for a meal, nightclub, gig, bbq and not touch a drop. Even a weekend away. Till i get home and pull the wine out of its hiding place and get blackout drunk.

@Soberanne, wow, almost the opposite to me in every way !

But in a funny way we have ended up on the same path and i think we are strong enough to do this

@Soberanne I totally do that having a drink whilst doing the online shop thing! What is with that?

Day 4 is over but i have never felt so completely and utter.y exhausted.

Evening all, how are we all doing ? I've had a great day. Got off to a rocky start ( didn't sleep well), and on way to work thought I'm going to drink tonight. I'm bored etc. Anyway I thought of you lot trying your best and got 2 cans of vodka, sparkling water and cherry (£1.20 each, 80 cals a can ! Winner!), so I came home from work and sat in the garden with them. They didn't do anything for me ( nice enough though and I will buy again) but I'll take the positives.....1) I'm not drunk 2) I didn't smoke 3) I ate my tea ( no way would I have ate if I'd have had wine) 4) I didn't cave and send Dh to the shop for wine 5) tomorrow I will be hangover free 6) I know I will sleep well ( I wouldn't with wine).
Onwards and upwards 🙌

Sorry @Soberanne, cross posted. Can you get an early night or do you have dependents?

And well done for Day 4.

@Amdone123 well dine amdone. Thats a huge achievement to just stick to what you choose to limit yourself too. And not smoking, well done. I gave up smoking about 10 years ago and it was by far the hardest thing i have ever done.

I am not quite in bed but am on the sofa. I have did nothing but thats ok the mess will still be there tomorrow. My priority today is sobriety and i know if i try and do too much i will just get stressed and then the cravings will begin.