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Alcohol support

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Original poster

Drinking WAY too much and need to detox - any shared experiences?

351 replies

TimeToStop · 31/01/2021 05:40

I'm a daily drinker and have been for absolutely years. Since the start of lockdown 1 I've gone from drinking around half a bottle of wine or a couple of beers a day to now drinking 1/4 bottle of spirits, a bottle of wine and maybe also a few beers. Because I drink all the time, I don't get drunk any more, it's a steady drip feed of alcohol through the day. My sleep is appalling; up around 4/5 am after 3 hours sleep and then I need to have my first drink to steady the withdrawal.

I'm supposed to be working from home but I'm really beginning to fail in that and I am desperate to stop. I stopped in February 2019 for 3 months - it was sort of enforced as I was very unwell and in hospital for 3 weeks with an ovarian abscess. I felt so much better. Since then it crept up from a beer at the end of the day to where I am now.

I've spoken to my GP and been put in contact with my local drug and alcohol service as I'm drinking too much to safely stop on my own now. I'm scheduled to do a community detox on February 8th and I wondered if anybody here has done this and what it's like? I'm so nervous about it.

OP posts:
BillieSpain · 17/02/2021 15:35

Exactly!

Whenever I stay with my DSis I often ask her the next day 'Did I seem normal?'

She always says 'You were sompletely normal you fool'! she always says 'you drink so slowly' (because it is the drip drip!)

Mind you, she drinks more than me.

I, like you OP never ever fall over drunk or pass out or drink to even get drunk. I actually hate that feeling anyway. I just drink too much, if offered a coke or a beer I will always to for the alcohol, always. I can go a year or two, but when I drink, It's pretty constant. It doesn't harm anybody but me. I am a really responsible person and mother.

However, I am now considering DD when I get old! I need to be healthy and not seriously ill from booze.

Alcohol is engrained in me! Especially, especially, when I have a problem.

Original poster
TimeToStop · 17/02/2021 16:14

You sound very like me BillieSpain - I was a single mum for a long time and when I started dating again, I was really nervous. The first date I had with someone I actually really liked, I drank a bit more than normal on the way there and honestly couldn't remember a single thing about it on the train home. I kept wanting to say to the guy, "Was I slurring?" And I was asking round about sorts of questions like, "Wow, that must have been enjoyable because I seemed to get really lost in the conversation and can hardly remember what we talked about" ... hint, hint, like WHAT THE HELL DID WE TALK ABOUT? WHAT DID I SAY??? But he hadn't seemed to notice. God knows how.

OP posts:
BillieSpain · 17/02/2021 17:32

Ah, that's the nerves combined with alcohol. Fatal!

Original poster
TimeToStop · 17/02/2021 18:01

Always fatal. Needless to say, the relationship didn't go anywhere. God knows what I went on about.

OP posts:
JCBluebell · 17/02/2021 21:14

That sounds so familiar! My friends used to say they had never seen me drunk. In reality, they had never seen me sober.

KittytheHare · 19/02/2021 19:43

Hi Op, how're you doing? Hope you're having plenty of rest and that the mint humbugs are still doing the trick!

BillieSpain · 19/02/2021 20:00

Yes, how are you doing?
It's so cold, damp and miserable in Valencia. Hope you are cozier than me.
No bloody central heating.

Original poster
TimeToStop · 19/02/2021 21:14

Hello - I'm still sober! It hasn't been easy. There are times when I am literally craving a drink and thinking this isn't real, I can't commit to never drinking again, just one, etc. etc. but I've resisted so far. I've felt quite unwell for a few days - headaches and nauseous but better today. On the positive side though, I've managed to go into a few shops where I would normally have slipped a half bottle of whisky in with the shopping and I haven't. That felt good. Not having to hide the receipts from my husband. I also survived a work colleague evening drinks Zoom with just a Diet Coke although I did lie and pretend it was a whisky and coke when everyone discussed what they were drinking. Every day I get through, I feel proud of myself. I hope at some point that I don't think about alcohol quite so many times a day ...

OP posts:
BillieSpain · 19/02/2021 21:30

You should feel damn proud of yourself.

You feel a bit poorly as your body is healing, that is great!

Sometimes I have gone into a shop to buy alcohol and bought random things too, to disguise the fact I'm buying alcoohol (as if anyone cares {hmm})

Keep on going.

Onamissionnow · 19/02/2021 21:35

You are doing so well !! I am honestly so impressed which I know sounds cheesy but I mean it.

I have seen too many people ruined by alcohol and I know how hard this is but you are doing it . Amazing 👏

MonkeyPuddle · 19/02/2021 21:44

@TimeToStop well bloody done.

All those things that you think are small wins, which actually take superhuman effort, they add up. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.

I’m so glad you’re seeing the changes in your behaviour, keep seeing it, because it’s bloody brilliant.

JCBluebell · 19/02/2021 22:31

Well done OP! Be proud indeed!!
You will start to think about it less and less. It will become more like just one more thing you're not really into. Like golf or motorbikes or whatever it is you're currently not that into. Those things that aren't part of your life so you don't often give them much thought.
Also, isn't it funny how we start lying that we are drinking when we really aren't, when we used to lie that we weren't drinking when we really were? When i first quit, I used to make up excuses why i wasn't drinking. Now i (usually) don't feel the need to explain myself.
Keep feeling proud of yourself!

Original poster
TimeToStop · 20/02/2021 00:19

Thanks everyone xxx

OP posts:
Hohofortherobbers · 20/02/2021 22:13

Hows the second week going? Thinking of you

Hohofortherobbers · 20/02/2021 22:58

Oops, sorry, just seen you'd updated, well done, really good to see you're so positive

Original poster
TimeToStop · 21/02/2021 00:01

13 days sober ... woah.

OP posts:
McHoops · 21/02/2021 00:07

OP, the cravings you encounter and successfully resist; the struggles you describe and the hopes that eventually you will cease to think about alcohol every waking hour are familiar. That you have steadfastly fielded them has continued to inspire me since I last posted. Thanks to you, I too have remained af for another week.
I am grateful to you for your candid & courageous narrative. Good luck for the next week!

VoldemortsKitten · 21/02/2021 09:08

@TimeToStop wow just reading your posts resonates so much with me. I feel like I could have written so much of that if I had ever been brave enough to put it in to words. Yes to being known as the sensible one when really it couldn't have been further from the truth. My dad stopped drinking when I was 11. There were some awful awful episodes before that. You'd think that would have put me off but it just made more secretive. I'm so proud of you for the huge rollercoaster you've ridden for the last 2 weeks. No more Groundhog Day mornings of hell. The meds are done, your body is healing all by itself hang on in there. I was so so tired in that first month. But actually going to bed earlier was a good plan to avoid craving sometimes. Rooting for you and sending you all the best X

Original poster
TimeToStop · 21/02/2021 09:15

Thanks everyone. I'm still not sleeping that well - been up since 5am and still getting quite a lot of headaches. Maybe need to hydrate a bit more ... but at 9pm tonight it will officially be two weeks! Thinking back ago to two weeks right now, I was desperate to be where I am. Must remember that.

OP posts:
BillieSpain · 21/02/2021 12:24

Absolutely brilliant! Happy Sunday... 2 weeks! Wow.

JCBluebell · 21/02/2021 17:31

Fantastic work OP!!! Congratulations on 2 weeks!! You've done so well keeping on track even in the face of cravings and doubts. You're stronger and braver than you knew. Keep going!
And well done to the others on here who are doing the same!!

Original poster
TimeToStop · 21/02/2021 19:05

2 weeks officially at 9pm! Positive support like on here is really great. Thank you all so much! 2 weeks ago I was necking down my last bottle of red wine, feeling awful and dreading the night ahead. I longed to be free from it so much. I know I’m not free yet but just to be sober this time on a Sunday is amazing.

OP posts:
Hemlock2013 · 22/02/2021 17:10

Such amazing updates @TimeToStop... you’re progress is unbelievable. I feel genuinely happy for you that you don’t have to live through those awful mornings anymore. You’re totally winning x

Original poster
TimeToStop · 22/02/2021 17:29

Thanks Hemlock2013 I've been thinking that so much today. About how I felt 3 weeks ago, how trapped, how unwell, how desperately unhappy. It's good to keep remembering that because I know I could so easily be back there if I ever start drinking again.

OP posts:
Bakedbeanhead · 22/02/2021 17:53

I just wanted to say how utterly in awe and impressed I am OP with your journey so far, you are an inspiration.

I have given up alcohol for 2 weeks now, I just found the gradual creeping up of me drinking more and more, any excuse really. Both my parents are heavy drinkers, so even more reason for me to keep a lid on things.
Sending you lots of love and positive vibes x