Hop on up it's Dry January thread #2

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

Shiny new thread to carry us onward through January

Aw Ghast that is a rubbish way to feel. Failure is a status I bet you never apply to anyone else is it? As for friends they come and go but you never know where they grow from. You have sprung a little community group right here.

That's lovely pp. Why do you feel friendless op?

Oh lots of little things really. I can count on one hand the number of times anyone's genuinely asked me if I'm ok since the first lockdown began.

I was bullied out of my last job and whilst the people in my new job are lovely I don't know them yet, and since I left I've only been in contact with 2 people from my old place despite everyone claiming they wanted to stay in touch.

And as part of some therapy I'm doing I have to ask 5 friends a specific question...I'm struggling to come up with 5 people. I've got loads of acquaintances but very few people I'd class as friends.

So sorry you are having a difficult time @ myghast, this thread has been a lifeline to me and others i am sure and it is a pleasure to " talk" to you and the other posters each day.

I would also struggle to find five friends, can only think of two really and yes sometimes this gets to me as well. I keep an open mind about getting new friends but i know this has to evolve naturally so try not to get too upset over it, but it is not easy.
I think lockdown too has highlighted this. Almost no contact with most of my family and that shocked me but is a lesson learned albeit a hard one.
So to you and anyone else having a hard time.

I don’t think many adults have 5 really close friends. I just did a mental count in my head and 2 of my five I’m related to!

Like a precious poster said you’ve created this community which we’ve all benefited so much from. I had no faith in myself at the start to complete a whole month but now I feel I could tick off the last days of January in advance!

Feeling things raw, without alcohol is so hard. I still miss that sensation of problems being blurred out but not the anxiety as they all flood back the next morning.

Just checking in, can’t believe we’re nearly at the end of January. I really didn’t think I’d be able to do it and feel ridiculously proud of myself which is a bit pathetic.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered I can totally relate to the friends thing and sorry you’re feeling like that. It’s such a lonely time at the moment in so many ways. I know it’s a bit trite but try to be kind to yourself.

I’ve had some pretty hopeless days over the last week and have agreed with my do we’re going to have a day off dry jan on Saturday and get a take away then carry on not drinking through feb. Not sure if it’s a good idea or not, we decided to do it as a way to do something fun and bring some joy back but it doesn’t feel like the right way to view alcohol. Why can’t we have a fun night without it?? I am really looking forward to it though.

You can't give up DJ on the penultimate day!

I'm thinking of going on until March 8th.

Mmm making me look less virtuous by the minute! Am still planning on getting to the end of the month then moderating. Properly and accountably moderating. Counting units of spirits not bottles or mugs (classy).

Ha, I know! I’m going to carry on until 5th March so as it’s the half way point I thought a night off might be nice and I’m keen to test whether I actually can moderate.

I'm only managing easily because at the moment I'm not even thinking of alcohol as an option.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered workplace bullying is the worst and the effects linger long after you've left. It happened to me years ago and I would say that it took a full two years to process the experience and move on.

Wine witch is really pinching me tonight but SHE SHALL NOT PASS.

Wine witch is really pinching me tonight but SHE SHALL NOT PASS.

Same here. Really fancy a bottle tonight. So close to the finish line though!

@MyGhastIsFlabbered

Evening all. Not tempted by alcohol but feeling a bit shit this evening. Had a little cry while DP was upstairs. Just feeling a bit low about myself - a bit friendless and a failure. I'll get over it without the help of wine.

Just catching up with you all. If it helps @MyGhastIsFlabbered I feel the same. You're not alone xxx

@MyGhastIsFlabbered glad you posted, I feel same. Not weepy but gloomy, feel really down. I have no reason to at all, nothing's changed for me.

I suppose that previously I would have numbed this (or any other) feeling with wine.

Glad I've made it this far, plan on continuing (hopefully feeling a bit happier)

I've realised that wine hides the fact I'm really lonely.

Don't be lonely @OhioOhioOhio you've got us. I know it's not the same as in real life but you know we're here.

You lot have been brilliant. Thankyou xx

Oh I'm the same re the friends, one old very good one from uni who I hardly speak to but would always be there. Two Mum friends who are great but who I constantly worry about my friendship with (usually because I've drunk too much and embarrassed myself a bit), and one new mum friend I think, working on it. So four, a bit shaky ground sometimes. Because of me (and wine).

No wine witch tonight for me despite a very difficult day. Day 27, I'm going to the 6th.

Hello everyone! I cracked tonight-it’s my birthday and I swithered and dithered and finally had half a bottle of red wine. It was pretty rubbish tbh. Even the first mouthful tasted of oddly sour grapes!! And I love red wine. I proved I couldn’t moderate because, despite it tasting pretty crap, I still drank two thirds of a bottle. I now just want more, but don’t really. I know I’ll feel rubbish. I just want to not have any more! I’m hopping back on the sober wagon, gratefully!!

Hey all 😁
What a fab group this has proved to be 😍
Regarding friends - I have to be honest I only really trust my DH and my family nowadays. I know a lot of people but I couldn't say they are close friends. I find it easier to keep people at arms length now !!

Happy birthday @Haggisfish

Happy Birthday Haggisfish

Thanks op.

I feel that so many people have betrayed my trust lately. I miss having a special friend. But think I trust too easily. Wine is such an easy way to occupy an evening.

Happy birthday @Haggisfish -