How much do you drink? (I’ve got a problem and I can’t stop)

[Hello1244]

I’ve been a daily drinker for the last 3 years. Longest I’ve gone without alcohol consecutively in all that time is a week and a half. Obviously I’ve had the odd few days off here and then (I’d say maybe on average one sober night a week).
Most nights I have one bottle of wine, although over the last few months it’s crept up to two bottles in a night. I would also normally go out binge drinking with friends maybe once a week where I would get totally obliterated.
I don’t drink during the day, I’ve got a good relationship, family, friends, work a good job with good money own my own car and a lovely house I’ve certainly not hit a rock bottom and I’m very functioning, but I really struggle with not drinking in the evening.
Just don’t know what to do I’ve read so many books and I don’t want to go to the doctor because I’m ashamed.
How much does everyone else drink and does anyone have any success stories to motivate me or horror stories to terrify me into quitting?

I’m hoping this link works to the free ‘Alcohol Experiment’. Apologies if I seem a bit evangelist about it.
cflinks.email.thisnakedmind.com/ls/click?upn=kYa-2BLDsXwO2Bq50JhJpnIp8xI4ukLTcgnVBI7LAHgqJSvzyPGO7HExnd3e8xumF7l4CLH-2FWO3I0LhGqxCxmhM4o6LD4ihbbnv-2FTcdXGjWjQZQ9Y-2FASowLh1Yj8rcA5vnqG2dMhr-2BMuNDn9YPGNP-2Bmea8e-2F-2FW0cKRut3LnXm7VxYtzdTmVsirhBPIwyUY7usGnyiuLu-2FAMkm4q3UUUfGdO0vo-2FlgHcYBWGEsmPXbZNJHWOWEPwEIxiquz-2FfP3tDp8Kr7XfdiGNkHAO3Nk4SaGYZu1Q2tUQ-2F4A-2FSByvm4uhL6-2F5kWHsaimkOa8cuX5vIWNMP0ElBiDD8atoMQ8-2FU6GdHTXW9zvNv1YFmS5ESHkEDAHuqHZjU76etZP6I3Egp4RJfc0xIuc2z-2Fbozyomh-2BuouZmCHQh5QgsJPZ8EyaxaW9uMj3-2FIsRKUwieH-2B9RQmsciTjE1r4k56dqBUsLhA-2Fn8tJ-2FhYeHYhLGcMK-2FbAauG8M-3Ds40C_wb1ROwaHBR2qYBFf09Z7LFaWUgUfmI0l90Xh0qENJiMqS3bb5zeWsZvfa8FtpgayCxc-2B773UAqun9sZPJn7WGcptwtg5Iv4bwAFa0dpPRD5pRSDP1qOq-2FKGmkAqitz05dJwhcrhbnDjygj9S1D-2Bnzs4WD7fb-2FM2ku-2BDG6gPjvJk5zNWG7pymSgUGkdtepvA4eYFKBAQeBa-2B6WOgPSwYHLIRNnIHYahudj2dOIIdltjk-3D

I could have written your post OP. I am fully functioning, never drink before 7pm, I’m never drunk, no real hangover or ill effects but it has crept up to a bottle and a half of wine a night with 2 days off a week. I love those days off, but I can’t seem to hold onto that and replicate it. I love my kids more than anything and I’m scared of dying and leaving them but I haven’t stopped.

I was binge drinking mainly lager and then some spiris for a good few years then had liver disease which was reversed,so I stopped for month and a half,then it gradually built up again to every other day ,seven cans beer and spirit ,fed up with hangover so going to set a goal.for a week off

Craig beck on YouTube is very helpful

OP I am drinking the same amount as you now, this morning I decided to stop at least during the lockdown, then hopefully I will have broken the cycle.
Good luck!

@GenevaMaybe

I have also drunk wine every night as long as I can remember. I usually have two glasses but over Christmas it was a half a bottle a night (or more). Now I’m back to work it’s back to two glasses. They are not big glasses, probably 125ml each. I do think I should have some nights off. But it is really cold and dark and there’s nowhere to go with lockdown etc. I feel like that’s the only thing to look forward to in a way?

Haha a glass of wine for me is 1/3 of the bottle... it's a good job everyday.

I usually drink in the afternoon sometimes 2 or 3 times a week but last week crept up to 4 days a week , usually 7 cans of Carling lager then a few port and lemonade, one day I had brandy instead of port and nearly fainted so I will lay off brandy ,having a week off this week to get back on track as can't moderate, would like to just had five cans then eat but it never works out like that

We got into a habit drinking too much - my husband would make us a gin and tonic in the evenings then we'd gave wine with supper - another one or two afterwards. At one point we realised we were averaging up to a bottle of wine each (equivalent) every evening. We realised it was dangerous so we now only drink at the weekends and less too, so we've cut down a lot. So I would recommend that. It's nice to look forward to that first glass in a Friday evening and nicer to be clear headed for home school too!

I was a daily drinker for about 5 years, gradually increased. I don't drink wine or spirits just beer. After the first lockdown eased in July I knew I had to change. Joined a fitness class with hubby and vowed not to drink during the week. It was tough at the start but its a habit now. I so look forward to a drink on Friday evening now. I don't drink as much as I lost tolerance which is good. I found having the class on Tuesday on Thursday was great as it got me through the week. Obviously back in lockdown now so I go for a walk in the evening instead. The evenings can be long and boring but I just keep focused. I've lost weight and look better so that's an incentive.

Club soda have a 30 day programme you could try. The Allen Carr book specifically aimed at women really helped me.

OP how are you doing? Have you managed to cut down?
I successfully moderated for a couple of years when I was single, AF in the week and one bottle of wine over 3 days at the weekend. Then I got married and drinking as crept up again, 35 units a week so not good, DH enjoys an evening glass of wine or two as well! I'm trying to go back to that moderation, am on Day 4 AF today and honestly feel and look so much better even though I never drank enough to feel bad or have a hangover before. I have more energy, running is easier, evenings are a little long and chocolate consumption has increased a little but that's OK.
Quit lit can help, I liked William Porter's Alcohol Explained and Catherine Gray's The Unexpected Joy of being Sober.

I drink a third of a litre of spirits every day. It started years ago when my dad died when I was a teenager, then went through a decade of horror, now I'm in a great place in life....But it has its claws in me. I currently have 3 one litre bottles hidden in the bedroom, I always tell myself "no more after this!"....and then am weak. You're all right though- I just can't buy any. I have to just accept I can never moderate.

Bottle and a half of wine a day for me too. Until I stopped in the week, 3 weeks ago. its so hard. Every day about 3 that voice in my head starts, I believe some people call it the Wine Witch! Very apt. The more I read and the more podcasts I listen to, seem to point to the fact that people like me can't moderate, stopping forever is the only way. I've always been a drinker, a heavy drinker, but I'm 50 now, and I know I can't carry on like this. So scared of a life without it.

I’m not a drinker, I can count on one hand the number of times in the past two years that I have had an alcoholic drink (and I will only have the equivalent of a unit as I can’t really handle alcohol)....but I have seen enough of what can happen to people who are alcoholics (you did ask for horror stories!):

• I have lost some good friends to alcohol. It killed them (latest one being last month).

• I’ve nursed enough patients who have had their lives utterly ruined by it. Look up Korsakoff’s Syndrom...oh, and oesophageal varices. The latter is what killed one of my friends many years ago.

-alcoholism is the reason that I now have a STBXH, and not a DH. It ruined us as a family.

-the amount that you drink in an evening could put you over the limit for driving the next day.

The fact that you can see that there is a problem is a huge step forward :) please don’t be ashamed to seek help. I’ve heard it is very hard but so so worth it. I wish you all the best x

cakewitch good for you stopping in the week! Do you feel better the next day now? I'm 55 and had the same issue, just couldn't carry on drinking around 4 bottles of wine a week, nearly every night. I feel a lot better not drinking in the week. I know I can moderate, I don't miss wine in the week but a few glasses at the weekend are nice. You are right, not everyone can moderate, it's all or nothing.

Yes! I feel much better. My mind is clearer, I achieve more, and I'm better with my family. Ill see how this goes. Either way, I'm determined to stick with this or stop forever. Not going back to where I was. I can't.

cakewitch I'm so pleased you are feeling some benefit from giving up in the week. By Friday I feel brilliant then spoil it by drinking at the weekend
How much do you drink at the weekend? I kept it to 18 units but maybe that is too much to squeeze into 3 evenings. Before when I moderated it was 1 bottle of wine over 3 evenings so very moderate.

@Hello1244 how are you doing?

I had got to the stage where it was at least a bottle of wine or Prosecco a night. I love the taste, the hit of the first one. A bottle used to seem wuite a lot but its what 4 glasses. Very easily done.
It was getting where I wanted to open a second bottle quite often and take the empty out before dh saw it.
I am on fast 800 to get my weight down. I lost weight last year and piled it all back on. I haven’t drunk for 2 weeks but it’s a special weekend so will have some but back on the wagon. I am very focused.
Over the last few months I’ve started bad night sweats which could well be menopause starting as I’m late 40s. Not had it for 2 weeks though since not drinking.
I find I’m drinking loads of water and coffee but sleep is different now.
Very best of luck on recognising it is getting a bit of a grip. My dad was an alcoholic and I grew up with my parents always drinking a few g&t in the evening. I’d never really seen someone having a cup of tea after about 4/5 in the afternoon, always booze.
I have a few friends who have stopped drinking entirely since lockdown 1. I think we all just were in such a bizarre period that loads drank through it.

I think I killed your thread. I hadn’t drunk at all for a couple of weeks and had a bottle of Prosecco last night and a g&t. I was wondering if I should open another bottle but didn’t.
I really took note of how I felt, which was a bit groggy, clumsy and had a horrific night’s sleep. The sweating was back and really awful unsettled sleep. I woke up at around 2 thinking I felt absolutely shocking and why had I done it to myself. So, back on the wagon today I think. I love drinking but it doesn’t love me. Having had a very brief break from it, I’d got in to a new pattern. Today I’ll return to it.

@icelollycraving I don't think you have killed the thread, although the OP seems to have disappeared. You had a good wake up call the other night. I can't drink a whole bottle of wine now without having terrible sleep and the effect accumulates even with drinking less but every night. I'm drinking this weekend but measuring out my wine to not go over 50cl in an evening, and that is even too much. I'm enjoying being AF in the week, no brain fog or tiredness.

Thanks jemenfouscompletement it is a hard habit to break. Yesterday I started thinking one glass wouldn’t hurt, it wouldn’t be one so I stayed on the tea.

@Hello1244 how are you feeling? Did you have a go?

i drink almost daily, have saturday and sunday off.

pressed go too soon.

i drink about 3 bottles of 12% wine a week but since december, its crept up to 4 bottles most weeks. so yeah, about 30-40 units per week.

i am so pissed off at my lack of will power.

i don't work, don't drive, don't have school runs now!

i am really struggling without routine and the unrelenting lockdown, so have a large glass with lunch and then finish off the bottle while cooking dinner.

i dont get falling around drunk but am tipsy and i am pissed off at myself that afternoons revolved around having a glass in front of the kids several times a week!

I thought i didn't really get hangovers but had a bit more than usual 1 and a half bottles and felt like shit today. tbh, i drank it quite quickly. i wasn't able to do anything and kids had to muddle through the day. Husband make lunch and dinner etc.

1.5 bottles of wine gave me alcohol poisoning - vomited 3 times this morning, felt shaky, stunning headache and after had a shower, sat in bed all day wishing that i felt better and crying.

i've just got the unexpected joys of being sober and am just starting to feel slightly better.

i dont want to stop drinking but dont want to use it as a stress relief tool. it's so hard - context: dry January lasted until 5pm on 1st Jan. Terrible!

I was a bottle a night during the first lockdown, then with some other concoctions after that, maybe a gin or two or a baileys. I didn't hit a rock bottom, but I was so worn out with thinking about alcohol and feeling like shit in the mornings after yet another terrible nights sleep. It was a similar post to yours on MN that I stumbled across mentioning Annice Grace and The Alcohol Experiment. It's been life changing honestly, I stopped drinking at the beginning of August, and apart from two days over Xmas I haven't had any alcohol at all. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel, I've lost two stone I sleep like a baby and feel more clear headed and focused than I have done in years. Moderation doesn't work for me sadly, but I won't (can't?) say I'll never have another drink, I just much prefer this version of me right now and can't see that changing anytime soon.