How much do you drink? (I’ve got a problem and I can’t stop)

[Hello1244]

I’ve been a daily drinker for the last 3 years. Longest I’ve gone without alcohol consecutively in all that time is a week and a half. Obviously I’ve had the odd few days off here and then (I’d say maybe on average one sober night a week).
Most nights I have one bottle of wine, although over the last few months it’s crept up to two bottles in a night. I would also normally go out binge drinking with friends maybe once a week where I would get totally obliterated.
I don’t drink during the day, I’ve got a good relationship, family, friends, work a good job with good money own my own car and a lovely house I’ve certainly not hit a rock bottom and I’m very functioning, but I really struggle with not drinking in the evening.
Just don’t know what to do I’ve read so many books and I don’t want to go to the doctor because I’m ashamed.
How much does everyone else drink and does anyone have any success stories to motivate me or horror stories to terrify me into quitting?

I could have written your post OP! But.. I've done a somewhat dry January (started 4 Jan with a massive hangover having consumed a bottle plus the leftover Christmas sherry) and can now say I've broken the habit. I intend to go back to social drinking but not the bottle per night I was doing. I can say it was a bit boring at first but I switched to fancy, rich hot chocolate in the evenings which was a treat. Now I enjoy cups of tea, as impossible as that sounds. I never would have believed I could stop my habit but I have after many years of a bottle per night. It may not be fashionable but I would not label someone an alcoholic just because they drink every night, I firmly believe it's just a habit we get into.

I did really enjoy the treat aspect of drinking but love waking up hangover free. Plus I am saving money. I bought 2 bottles yesterday for a bottle a day friend who's broken her foot and it was painful to hand over the best part of £15...

Interesting to read others' experiences! I just looked up the alcohol experiment -- looks very good!

Well done
I’ve not had since last weekend. I swing between really fancying it and not being bothered at all. It is for sure a habit, it’s learned behaviour and that doesn’t get unlearned overnight.

It may not be fashionable but I would not label someone an alcoholic just because they drink every night, I firmly believe it's just a habit we get into.

I agree MrsMcB. Mine was habit, I didn't even always enjoy it. I know there are people who are really addicted, but I don't think it is true that everyone who drinks is an alcoholic.
Well done icelollycraving on your dry week!
If I'm dry tonight (I will be) that will be 15/31 days this month, so definitely not dry but a lot less wet than previous months. Am determined to stick with 4 days AF a week for 2021, moderating over the weekend. I feel and look a lot better for it!

Annie Grace has a lot to say about the ‘alcoholic’ label and how society assumes if someone doesn’t drink they must have a problem. No one does that with smoking or any other drug or addiction. The way the ‘alcohol Experiment’ explores the psychology around drinking has been fascinating. I found it a real eye opener.

I have drunk every night since first lockdown and I really need to cut down. I usually have a beer plus half a bottle of wine shared with DH Monday to Thursday and then I can do a bottle a night to myself over the weekend plus a few gins. I wake up first thing full of anxiety and feeling scared that I’m not capable of doing an alcohol free night! I am encouraged reading about people who have managed to cut down/quit.

@MrsMcBoatface - I am such a creature of habit and routine and I relate to the idea that it is just an ingrained habit rather than being an alcoholic. At least it makes me feel less ashamed to think like that anyway!

Dh opened a bottle of Prosecco on Saturday night. I had one glass and didn’t really enjoy it 😳
I then had the rest yesterday. I didn’t love the taste like I normally would but I immediately started thinking hmm I could have a gin and tonic etc. I’m going to try to either have those mini bottles if I’m tempted or just try not to.

Having been AF Mon - Thurs, I drank my 15 units of red wine over the weekend, which is probably classified as binge drinking . Should really cut down to 10 units. I enjoyed the wine but happy to be back not drinking now.

I stopped by going to AA meetings. My life was unmanageable. It was hellish. Much better since stopping.

I’ve tried and failed to cut down so many times. I get to a point of cutting down. Then it always creeps back.

The thing to remember is that alcohol is addictive. The issue is that by drinking alcohol, our brains start to rely on it and then we need more and more to get the same buzz.

Alcohol does nothing for us, not really. It’s just that we drink when good things happen.

I don’t fully believe that last bit just yet because I haven’t yet experienced social events without alcohol (due to lockdown).

But, having not drunk at all for over 3 weeks now, I’ve felt so much better. I really have had laugh until I cry moments and it’s been great. I’ve enjoyed virtual social events without booze. I wake up in the morning without that anxious feeling which I would have for no apparent reason.

I still get stressed and wound up as I did before - and I realise now that alcohol didn’t solve those problems. Having a drink after a stressful day didn’t make the stress easier to deal with.

Anyway, I’m rambling. I’m doing the Annie grace 30 day thing after trying Alan Carr’s book (which was actually really good but I slipped up after not feeling able to go on a weekend away without drinking).

The biggest biggest issue is the social judgement around alcohol. People questioning and judging the fact I’m not drinking. I haven’t yet had to deal with that due to covid! But so many of my friends drink - that I may lose them. But that’s really a judgement on them I suppose.

I have one glass at night with food. Last night half a glass. Two bottles!! Wow! I would be comatose!

@lovelemoncurd That's not a very helpful comment on a thread about people struggling with alcohol. You don't have an alcohol problem..good for you?

It's like a thread for people struggling to lose weight, and you come on and say, "look at what you people eat, I'd be a big fat cow if I ate like you!"

I did 'Dry January' so I haven't drunk since New Year. Before that I typically drunk a bottle of wine each Friday and Saturday night. I would drink more nights if on holiday from work.

Now we're in February I am trying to decide how to continue my better habits without being unrealistic, or gradually slipping back into my old drinking pattern. I don't want to say 'I will never drink again' because I do enjoy having a drink but I want to try to stay within recommended units. My problem is I am a binge drinker - when I start I can't stop - I have to make a point of not having more than one bottle of wine in the house at a time.

Could you try something like having one alcohol free day a week and gradually increasing the number of days you don't drink?

lovelemoncurd that was tone deaf.
Perhaps this came up in active threads and you didn’t realise the topic?

I have been a suffering alcoholic and I now abstain. I can tell you that my life is indescribably better now. I know it’s incredibly hard. I’m struggling with another addiction now and stopping that one too. It’s something that doesn’t feel possible but it actually is possible. Day at a time.

@lovelemoncurd - are you on the wrong thread or just being deliberately obtuse?

@Cissyandflora
Congratulations on kicking the habit completely! Can you give us some examples of how life is better for you now? I hope you manage to beat your other addiction. It isn't uncommon to replace one addiction with another 😕

Yes I replaced addiction but am tapering off drug now.
With the alcohol- so much to say really. I was an out of control drunk. Scared and damaged my child. Got into terrible situations. Was assaulted many times over the years I drank. Would wake up with terrors. Would be inappropriate at work. Lived with fear and shame.
I remember thinking there was no way I would ever be able to stop using alcohol. It was inconceivable to me.
Stopping drinking changed my life from day one. No more waking up and vomiting with the terrors of what had happened the night before slowly creeping up on me. I could live a day at a time without that chaos and shame and I could be free. It’s hard to explain.
Even if you don’t drink to excess but you drink too much for you- it’s worth considering stopping. I also believe that I was born an alcoholic/ addict. Or certainly with the predisposition and then I suffered a lot of trauma and so I can see why I turned to drugs. I was drinking with a problem by 15. Collapsed at school with drugs. Collapsed at work on my first job at 16 with alcohol poisoning. It just went on really.
If anyone identifies with any of this then I’m here to tell you it can get better. Even though you won’t think it’s possible. Incredibly I’m here to tell the tale!

@Cissyandflora that’s so impressive that you got dry.

@icelollycraving I still cannot believe it myself and it’s been a long time. Never ever could I have conceived of a day without drinking.

Fantastic. Truly.

@icelollycraving thank you

@Cissyandflora I would like some advice - it would be great if you can share with us tips.
I realise I have an alcohol problem and a lot written by you applies to me. Usually finishing a bottle of wine from 6 till 8 whilst I cook dinner - I hate cooking, but want my family to have a warm and home cooked meal and do not get help from DH. He things as he is the main bread earner (I am an essential worker Mon-Fri, full time, but earn far less than him). So here comes the wine - I get so much done, numbed!

I read the threads here - how many women, mothers are in the same situation! I had Covid and this didn't stop me of drinking - just the opposite - the wine relieved my cough and stopped the anxiety that I will die (this crosses your mind when you get the positive test).

Another issue is that I enjoy the taste of sauv blanc or chablis and nice cocktails, especially when on holiday.

On my 2nd sober day today - I hope that reading here will keep me motivated, it is so easy to open a bottle!

Is it OK if I pop on here? Have had a scare the last few nights. Have gradually increased drinking over the years and always struggled to moderate....when everyone was moving on to coffee I was ordering another drink, they were calling taxis I was ordering another drink etc.

Tried dry January and made it 10 days before I caved and drunk a whole bottle of wine, and have done that most nights since. I feel awful when I drink, out of control, limbs feel buzzy/numb almost, I struggle to sleep and get night sweats and headaches/stomachaches but I just can't stop.

I don't want to go teetotal but I know I need to for a while. I've had a lager tonight and have had to come to bed early as I've got extremely bad gastric pain and heartburn for the 3rd night in a row.

I don't want to admit I have a problem other than on here, because that means I will have to stick to it and not drink. I know some family won't understand either, but tbh they can fuck off.

Really struggling with the decision.

I can totally relate to everything all have you have said, I was drinking 1 - 2 bottles of wine every single night, occasionally more, I felt sick and tired, bloated, looked bloated and my skin was dull, not to mention the right sided pain I was getting, i was anxious and my moods were very up and down. On 4th March I will be 1 year no booze, and I know it's a cliché, but literally if I can you can, I couldn't ever imagine not drinking of an evening - I didn't even use to worry about not drinking because I always had it in or would pop down the shop. Tried many times to stop. One day I did and realised I was four days without drinking and I was so pleased as hadn't gone that long for years, and something felt different this time. Something at some point clicked. It wasn't easy and sometimes was so close to caving, climbing the walls and crying, but the more time goes on the easier it gets ( for me anyway) and feels totally normal now, I can't imagine drinking wine now. I do drink a lot of AF heniken though.😂 I have no magic answers but if I can help please ask.