Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

Hi all - just thought I'd join this thread.

I have drunk heavily for years - a bottle of wine and two gin and tonics a night, sometimes more.

Last September, I told the doctor that I was worried about my drinking. She took blood tests and it showed my liver was suffering.

So, I cut down a bit, but the liver function only improved slightly,

I gave up alcohol completely and have not drink since January.

It's not been as hard as I thought, but I do get cravings.

The one thing I have noticed is that I am really tired. Some days, I am asleep for longer than I am awake.

I run my own business and have been able to keep that going.

Has anyone else felt extreme tiredness since ditching the booze?

Thank lads. Send hobnobs.

@Hangingover

Thanks Bunnies.

Am ten months down as of yesterday and I still think about getting drunk every day. Still I'm sure my liver is much happier with me. Now where are the Hobnobs....

I was talking to a friend who has been sober longer than I have and she said the same thing. It must be very tiring. I really hope you (and she) get to a place where it's more on the back burner. Can you do a meeting? SoberFriend goes every day and swears by it.

Talk to your pal! The chances are she will be delighted to hear from you. Adult conversation is so precious when you have recently had a baby.

Oh yeah @Hangingover I was gonna say the same as @Drybird2020! Your friend is probably physically trapped under a feeding baby but would very much love a chat!!! I know when I had tiny babies I still really values talking to adults about adult stuff. So do get in touch with her:-)

@Diddumz, congratulations on being dry all year! Yes, tiredness was a thing for me. And starting in the new year means the darkest weeks coincide with the start of sobriety and you're basically hibernating. I'm sure you will wake up soon!

Epic re giving up smoking too Bunnies. Congrats to Hangingover and everyone, no matter how long you’ve been free, every day is a triumph....well, that’s what I’m very def telling myself!! Despite being told my ultrasound last week was fine I’ve managed to convince myself again that my liver is in a bad way...tried to talk to my DH but he says I’m catastrophizing (is that not a word?!) and should stop reading the Internet....I pointed out I was looking for support not a bashing! I’m also knackered Diddumz - hopefully it’s the body taking the opportunity to heal itself. Not sure how much of what I feel now is anxiety or actually related to giving up🙈

Hi can anyone please post a link to the alcohol moderation threads please I can't find them ! Thanku xx

Do you mean the bus CocoLady? They’re here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4131527-BRAVE-BABES-the-bus-keeps-trundling-on

I think the seasons changing can be a real trigger. It has been ages since I felt I wanted a drink but the other evening I came in from working in the garden and it was still light and the birds were singing and I suddenly felt like one. I guess changes in sensory information still works on those long-established neural pathways. I had a similar pang at the start of winter, having not thought about it for a while.

Hi everyone, I've not posted here for ages but have been lurking and trying to keep up to date with you all. I'm at 8 months of better health (aka not drinking) today. Pink nosecco and pink freixinet are great when I could do with a drink.
I've wondered if the approach of nicer weather might make me want a proper drink but I'm also thinking that aren't these situations just prompts and tricks our brain (and the adverts) uses to get us back to what we've always done? Plus, I am used to not drinking now, it's more a part of me now than drinking was, if that makes sense.

I have being feeling a little bit tired lately but it's probably due to husband being ill (now recovering well) and lockdown getting to me. But at the same time I am finding energy and motivation for physical activity. Need to get better at self care and having rest, but, like you guys, at least I don't have to worry any more about the impact of drinking on my body in addition to worrying about everything else!

Keep on keeping on everyone x

Lovely to see your update @100PercentMe!!!
Well done on your 8 months! Great milestone!🤩👍

Today is the first day since Friday (my last drink) I've felt like drinking. Kids are away to their dads so usually I would have a drink but I ignored it then dp pissed me off and again I was tempted to pour a drink to make me feel better. I didn't because actually it doesn't make me feel better at all I would have stewed all night.

I'm instead having a listen to some music and doing course work.

Well done keepmekeeping, particularly on the dry front but also on getting coursework done - I have mountains to do but seem to have lost my mojo😬

Thought I'd pop in to say hi. Still here and still sober - 319 days.

What @Drybird2020 said about the changing seasons really resonated with me. The sunshine made me start thinking about drinking to the point where I had decided I would get to 1 year and then have the occasional drink. Then I saw a few instagram posts that reminded me just how horrible those hangovers are (where you're on the sofa deeply regretting those last few drinks) and I realised that I really don't want to start again. It's just not worth it. It's just so deeply ingrained!

Well done on the 10 months @hangingover. You've overcome so many hurdles.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies well done on not smoking for a month. Are you feeling better for it? I've failed miserably on the smoking front but starting again tomorrow

HELLO Teetotallyimperfect

Gosh, nearly a whole year for you, amazing!!

Well done @Keepmekeeping!!!
And @Teetotallyimperfect, you too!!! We are nearly sobriety twins, I’m at 326 days now. Great job! Good luck with the not smoking!!! I don’t know why but something has finally clicked within me with the smoking and I’ve got it cracked now. I just don’t crave it anymore in the same way. Like booze it isn’t an option anymore. One thing I’ve found hugely helpful in chewing loads of nitotine gum! It’s definitely my crutch for now. It gives me a nice buzz and takes away the urge to light up. I know I’ll need to quit the gum at some point but it’s pretty harmless and so for now I’m allowing it. It’s been life changing. Good luck.

@100PercentMe it's good to hear from you! Thanks for dropping by.

@teetotallyimperfect and @bunniesbunniesbunnies... that's wonderful that you're coming up for a year. I found a good thing to do was to read through my posts in some of the older threads, I didn't manage to read all of them but a selection gave me a really good overview of my journey and I found it a useful way to reflect on the first year. Once I'm out of a situation I usually forget how tough it was so it helped me to remember that I had overcome some difficult times.

I can't remember where it comes from but that thing about "getting sober is hard but living sober is easy" is true for me.

Morning everyone, day 16 for me. I probably crave a drink twice a week, drinking Becks Blue from a wine glass keeps me going and eating a small chocolate bar for sugar cravings. So happy I am doing this after 10 or 12 years of daily drinking! I am grateful I am not finding it too hard.

Great to hear from people who are months in, very inspiring.

I'm very triggered today. Horrendous day at work. And I'm so so tempted it's so so bad. Day 26 booze free and weekend number 4 this weekend.....I know I can fight it. I have to fight it.

Fight it @Borisjohnsonshairbrush! You can do this👍

Well done @Pepper54

@Drybird2020 that’s so interesting about reading back your old posts. I did it once for the earlier threads and I was shocked, I didn’t even recognise myself. I was struggling so much at the time. Not just with quitting booze but many things in my life.

In a way I think quitting booze made things harder for a while as I really was forced to face myself without being able to numb myself. But my god I am so glad I stuck with it. I am the happiest now I have been in years. Life is not perfect but when I get some shit thrown at me I just cope so much better.

Lately I have realised the main benefit is how much more I enjoy being a mother. Sure the kids wind me up sometimes but my ability to cope with that is better than it has ever been. I always loved my children but now I fully love and and enjoy being a mum again, and I think that (as a sober person) I’m actually not too shabby at it!

These threads continue to be an inspiration to me even though I don’t post as often now.
Hope everyone is hanging in there!

Happy Friday evening all, we’ve made it to the end of homeschooling!!

@Borisjohnsonshairbrush Hang in there, you can do it. Play it forward in your mind. Take yourselves off to a bath or to your bed. everything will be brighter in the morning.

Wonderful to hear some of the recent milestones reached, congratulations to @100PercentMe on 8months and to @Teetotallyimperfect for closing in on a year!

I’m celebrating 6 months sobriety today! I loved @Drybird2020 quote above, it perfectly sums up how I’m feeling today “Getting sober is hard, living sober is easy”. My life is so much richer, happier, balanced and peaceful than I could ever have imagined when setting out on this journey. To those of you battling through the first weeks, please keep going it’s so worth it and it keeps getting better!

Hello! Is it ok if I join you here?

I recently gave up alcohol. I last had a drink on Valentine's Day! So that will be three weeks tomorrow.

Initially, I planned to only stop till Easter, but the sobriety has made me remember a lot of stuff about my drinking over the years...decades, really! And now, I want to stop for good.

I felt exhausted for the first two weeks after I stopped drinking. But now I feel quite good. Not like out running marathons and leaping out of bed at 6 in the morning to bake bread sort of good, but yes, quite good.

I've read a bit of 'quit lit'; The Unexpected Joy..., Allen Carr - How to..., The Sober Diaries and I've just bought another one, This Naked Mind.

Well done on all these milestones!

Day 20 of being sober and cant believe I have managed to get this far without having a meltdown. Only another 8 days and it will have been a month. The time has gone quickly and I realise I am saving £70 - £100 a week on wine and prosecco. So buying new clothes to treat myself.

Well done to everyone of each day of sobriety , its worth it. Today is a new day and the sun is shining so will go for a long beach walk and blow the cobwebs away.

Once AA meetings start again I am thinking of joining as being sober is something I want to continue in the long term and well aware I am only one drink away from falling off the wagon. That is something I fear as I dont want to end up back where I started after all of this effort and hard work.

Get in here Wasabi

Welcome. Have a cuppa.

Thanks Hanging .

Don't mind if I do !