Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

Borisjohnsonshairbrush yeah you can do it, it’s not worth it, day 21 tomorrow. Keep going, brush teeth (puts me off drinking) and early night if you can.

Good morning all, well done for surviving a challenging Friday night sober! Welcome to those new to the thread! It’s great to have you here.

Checking in on day 174, I’m less than a week away from my 6 month milestone! It’s my birthday a few days after so I’m getting my head around the idea of a sober birthday currently. For me birthdays = champagne so i think I need to make a plan for the day to make it memorable. Any tips from anyone’s own first sober celebrations would be gratefully received.

The weather is set to be beautiful here today, So I’m planning a day in the garden with the boys. Try and start getting things smartened up for spring. Maybe I’ll be able to make this the year I get my home and garden in better order now I’m sober!

As each day passes I’m convinced this is me done with alcohol. I made a friend at work who is 4 years sober and sharing experiences with her was so encouraging. I feel very nervous about the world opening back up but I really don’t want to give up what I’ve gained in my sobriety, the benefits are still stacking up daily.

Have a lovely weekend all!

Reaching out for a handhold lads

Alone in my house having a meltdown and I'm worried I'm going to relapse. There gin in my housemates cupboard and Valium in DPs drawer

Day 10 for me, woohoo! DH said my skin/face looked better.

Benefits so far:

The calm
The relief
No odd gagging in the morning
No racing heart at 3 am
No catastrophising in the early hours
No pausing the tv to get wine from fridge
No judgey looks from DS17 (very anti alcohol)
I think I have a little more energy (I was always tired)
No googling cirrhosis symptoms

Hope everyone is ok.

Hangingover can you phone someone, get out in the fresh air? What usually works for you? Take a bath, listen to music or exercise? Wish I could help.

Thanks Pepper54

It just helps to tell someone. My only friend I talk to about this has a little baby so I hate disturbing her.

I guess being sober is about learning to tolerate anxiety rather than anesthetising it.

That’s nice of you, thinking of your friend. Would it help to write down how you are feeling, review your goals, how far you’ve come? Which helps you most, doing something really active to distract yourself or closing your eyes and relaxing? If you could change your environment, get out of the house it might help? Sending you positive vibes.

Can you numb yourself a bit with non intelligent tv and phone scrolling or mindless game Im phone something like that @Hangingover, i find info that a lot when anxiety hits and while it’s not healthy it passes the white knuckle part of panic and is a lot healthier than taking that drink that will make you feel worse.
Hang in there, you CAN do it x

Thank you my loves. It's passed I think. I walked around counting to ten and watched the cat sunbathing - she is so calm. I love this thread ❤️

Well done for weathering the storm @Hangingover, nice work. I completely agree with what you say about having to learn to deal with the anxiety. It has taken me a LONG time to make progress with that. Sure the anxiety got better in some ways after quitting quite quickly but until about 2 months ago I was still having pretty awful panic attacks, and smoking to deal with them. It’s only in the last two months (am nearly 11 months sober now) that I am seeing real improvements. No real reason as to why. Just takes time to find different coping mechanisms.

Anyway just wanted to say I hear you and well done.

Hi hope it's OK to join

I had always been a social drinker until I was a carer for my terminally ill grandparent. I lost them then covid hit a couple of months later. I still function but by October 2020 I had spilt up with my partner and was drinking half a bottle of vodka when they kids were away.

I stopped until Christmas I done the daft thing and though I'd have a few at Christmas but now it's becoming an issue again. I don't get fall down drunk but I'm drinking about 3 nights a week and I hate it.

Hoping writing this will get me on track. My mum and sister are binge drinkers we grew up in a home where it was the norm to be drunk or hung over I don't want that for my kids.

You're in the right place keepmekeeping, you have your reason and you have this thread. Do read back, honestly, some pure gold to be found in terms of inspiration. You can do it.

Hanging over, I'm so glad you feel better and you reached out. Every day like today under the belt is wiring your brain to know you can do this!

Thank you! I have read back a few pages so far it helps too see how many people are in similar positions

Day 14 of being sober and each day is getting easier. Thank goodness for walking as I walk miles everyday to keep my mind off alcohol. However quite disappointed that I am not losing any weight. Really trying to eat healthily and drinking gallons of squash everytime I want to reach for the wine. Finding this site most helpful and its nice to know I am not alone in trying to stay sober. The sun is shining today and today is another day of not feeling hungover , wasting a day glugging wine and generally feeling lethargic and sitting on the sofa watching mindless TV.

Jamesmouse Gave you tried measuring your self instead of weighing you have probably made a lot of nice lean muscle that weighs the same.

@Furble
Re your birthday think if this as my first sober birthday for X years. That in itself is something to be proud of and celebrated. Buy something you love that special. So for me it would be chocolate but some really lovely ones in a gorgeous box. You really don't need alcohol to celebrate!

@Keepmekeeping welcome!

Day 12 for me, feeling proud of myself, still taking 2 or 3 hours to get to sleep.

Jamesmouse I haven’t lost weight either, I gave up for 3 weeks last year and didn’t lose an ounce. Doesn’t seem logical as we are saving calories but there you go. For me the weight is a separate issue. As Keepmekeeping said with all the walking you are probably building lovely trim muscles.

4 months here today.

I'm not that bothered about weight side side of things thankfully as I've put TEN pounds on since quitting! I am working on that now for the next month. Losing this 10 is all I need to do and hopefully tone up a bit.

Quitting alcohol was like with 'breastfeeding helping weight loss' nope....I wanted my money back as I put weight on!

Thanks Bunnies.

Am ten months down as of yesterday and I still think about getting drunk every day. Still I'm sure my liver is much happier with me. Now where are the Hobnobs....

Good to hear everyone is getting on. Day 8 here today. I’ve started reading again before bed instead of looking at my phone. I stopped reading as I could never remember what I had read the previous night. I really only read on holiday but loving getting back to being lost in good book.

Harrykanesrightsock haha, exact same here. I am very tired by 9 pm, read in bed for an hour (loving it) but unfortunately it’s taking 3 hours to nod off. I still feel better in the mornings than when I was drinking and falling asleep quickly.

That’s hard @Hangingover that it still weighs on your mind so much. It makes your 10 month milestone all the more impressive and inspirational🤩

Well done Hangingover ten months is fantastic.

Day 16 of being sober and it feels like a lifetime. Had alot of cravings last night but didnt go up to the shop for vino. Binge watched the Tudors instead. Got to stay sober as have to have a CDT bloodtest to see if I can get my driving license back. Lost it due to alcohol misuse 9 years ago, Has anyone else ever had a CDT test ?