Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

I would like to join this thread but, reading the OP about being 'triggering,' I'm wondering if I might be in the wrong place?

I'm drinking horrific amounts of alcohol a day now, it's crept up over the year and starts from around 4 / 5am. I don't enjoy it at all any more, it's a case of keeping away the withdrawal symptoms.

I'm scheduled to do a community detox in just over a week as I drink too much to be able to just stop on my own now. Would it be better for me to come back on here to talk after I have done that, assuming it works?

It is so heartening to read some of your stories. I stopped for 3 months in February 2019 as I was very unwell and in hospital for 3 weeks and then on heavy antibiotics when I came out. I felt so much better and swore I'd never go back to drinking and yet, here I am.

Massive congratulations to everyone who has stopped and continues to stay stopped.

@TimeToStop morning and a massive well done in recognising your problem and having the courage to do something about it. It may be a good idea to start your own thread asking for support whilst you’re on the community program. It’s likely you’ll need a good amount of support and need to be able to talk freely about what’s happening for you, which may be triggering for us on here. Then absolutely once you’re dry come be with us. Huge good luck!

I have started a separate thread. Hope to be back again soon.

@TimeToStop I’m sure a few us will be on your thread giving you a hand hold. xx

Thank you x

@ncsad - how are you doing?

Very sorry cold water therapy to hear about your FIL and your Dad. I hope you feel ok today. Stick with your AF life, it will be the best thing for you during a difficult time, one thing you know you can control.

Good Luck @TimeToStop try visualising the outcome you want, write it out, something to hang on to as you make your way over to this side which is so much better and worth the effort. See you soon, you WILL make it, I can just tell from your words.

@ColdWaterTherapy I’m so sorry about your news, that’s so hard.

@TimeToStop you can do this, do link to your new thread here, I’d be happy to hop on it for a handhold and a listen.

Thanks all. I just feel constantly braced for further disaster so I’m not even sure how I feel any more. But yeah I’m not drinking.

@TimeToStop that sounds so tough, and like it’s going to be a really intense process. I hope you have some good support around you and will check in and say hi on your thread.

This is my other thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4151893-Drinking-WAY-too-much-and-need-to-detox-any-shared-experiences

Well, I'm back on these threads again. Managed 40 days AF in the run up to my 40th last September but have slowly slipped back into old habits ☹️ I feel crap, my joints ache due to being overweight and my mental state is up and down like a yo-yo. So I have joined The Alcohol exchange experiment starting tomorrow! I am also getting my first COVID jab tomorrow so Iam seeing it as a positive new start ☺️

Hi there, just checking in after reading all the new stories. Wow there are a lot of people doing this!

I posted on a few threads back but I'm rubbish at keeping up. I think breathmillar is my sober twin. I am six months sober. I had no idea I was going to get this far. I had found over the years that I drank too much and the first lockdown it just got ridiculous. Intermittent periods of sobriety brought me peace, but I always found myself back on the bottle because it's the socially acceptable thing to do. Well fuck that. I choose peace.

I have got through a birthday, a wedding anniversary, Christmas and Hogmanay sober. The Hogmanay part I was dreading as it was a zoom party with lots of boozy friends, but it turned out that they were all super supportive and asked lots of questions and seemed genuinely interested in my journey so that was great.

That's enough about me. Welcome everyone and I hope your sober journeys take you where you want to be. Peace x

@BunniesBunniesBunnies was it you that was my fellow surfing bride?

The biggest wave in England is breaking today and tomorrow (ask DP to show you on MSW he'll know which one I mean). Mr. Hangover is thinking of attempting.

Hold my hand, they're shaking

That’s right @Hangingover my partner surfs, but we don’t live right by the sea so he hasn’t been in ages due to the restrictions. He did say this morning police are patrolling near well known beaches, presumably to put off people travelling to surf!

I know your dp lives near the sea so it’s different. I would worry about mine going in today but yours sounds really very experienced so I’m sure he’ll be fine☺️

It’s still scary though so I’ll hold your hand! Hope you’re okay!

Well done staying sober through this coldwater.

shelleyjelly I think it’s all too easy to think we can moderate. Good luck to your new start!

Well done on 6 months slantybaws! So good to hear that your Hogmanay friends were supportive and interested. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by mine too.

Never mind the waves being rough and rather deadly... isn’t it a bit chilly to even dip a tie in? 🥶

Thanks Bunnies. He didn't go today but I think he will tomorrow. 22ft wave, god help us!! They're mad.

slantyBaws YES!!! Well done!! Your post is amazing to read and I feel just the same. I'm just behind you with 9 days to go til i get my shiny 6 month badge. Huge congratulations to you!!

It's amazing reading everyone's support and stories. It is such a great way of life isn't it?

I am more active, more together, my mental health is better. I have also taken control of my food in a similar way with a thread on here and seeing fantastic results in not just looking and feeling better but getting to the root of the problem.

Whenever i have tried to moderate drinking in the past I haven't really been getting to the crux of my problem. Dieting the same. It was like i was putting a plaster over the cracks and then either picking away at the plaster or sometimes ripping it off with a violent passion.

But no more. No more drinking or eating my emotions. I eat when I'm hungry and enjoy my food after years of battling the whole process. I don't fall into a vat of wine when I'm feeling shit/celebrating.

I have other coping mechanisms, healthy mechanisms. And one of them is this thread. So thank you to everyone who has contributed.

Welcome to all newbies and fist pump to all the great achievements on here.

Just popping in with a sober win. I think I posted a while back about booking a bikeability lesson to help get on top of nerves about cycling again. The session was cancelled because of Covid. I reminded myself that if I could stop drinking I could do anything, so used that success as a mental boost to get going without the bikeability. So having bought a new helmet and read a couple of useful books on fear, I did a 4 mile loop on the country lanes today. I was so determined not to chicken out that I forgot my helmet along with water bottle, spare tubes etc. Though to be honest I could walk back quicker than I could swap a tube, especially if it was the back one. I am tired and happy and laying plans for cycling to cake at some point post-lockdown.

Hope you are all ok, especially thinking of anyone struggling at the moment.

This is my first time ever coming to a forum however, I'm desperately seeking freedom from this horrendous intoxicant. I don't know how to even begin. I've gone stints where I won't drink and then bam, im back to where I started and it seems to get worse. My best stint was December of last year where I made it 20 days, was working out and overall doing much better. Then of course the holidays came around and I was back to drinking my vodka daily. I am so frustrated and upset with myself. I am college educated, hold an amazing job but have no control over this. It's to the point where I'm having to call out from being hungover or having hangxiety. I promise myself I will stop and keep getting deeper. I don't know what in trying to accomplish here other than hopefully finding support or people who are struggling like me. I'm desperate and at my wit's end.

Welcome Lost - you're in the right place. Alcohol is so so addictive. Don't blame yourself too much - yes it's your responsibility to sort, but lots of us have fallen foul to this addictive substance. Start off on the right foot... something that will help you throughout this journey... be KIND to yourself, which includes how you speak to yourself internally.

Congratulations on the food thing @Breathmiller. I just love reading your posts, thank you thank you thank you for sharing so much

Thanks for the kind words. It's hard to not feel so frustrated with myself because I feel like it should be so simple. I keep telling myself it's a day by day thing.

Checking in on day 150! Really chuffed to have made it this far and every day feeling more confident that not only can I keep going but also that that’s what I want for me for my future.

Congrats to @Blackberryblossom on your cycling win, that is huge and I’m sure it was such an empowering experience, thrilled for you!

Welcome to @Lostandsad111 I’m sorry you are struggling, it’s an awful thing. Freedom awaits you but as you say you have to take it a day at a time and stay vigilant. There are loads of great recommendations on these threads for recommended reading and podcasts as you prepare to stop.

Sending love and strength to all, hope you’re having calm sober weeks despite the continued homeschooling.

Thanks for the welcome. It's a struggle and I'm def not perfect. I hope to connect and find resources to keep me on the up and up. I am currently joining out workout classes that make me come home to where all I have time to do is eat dinner, shower and go to bed. I for sure have to be structured because if I'm bored, I'm buying a pint.

@Lostandsad111

Thanks for the kind words. It's hard to not feel so frustrated with myself because I feel like it should be so simple. I keep telling myself it's a day by day thing.

Hello @Lostandsad111 :waves: @PamelaPeaches is absolutely right. I had to remind myself to be gentle with myself. It’s such a positive choice to make after all, and you are pushing back against habit, an addictive substance and then coronavirus on top of that and all the opportunities and pretexts that lockdown restrictions present for drinking. When taking things a day at a time is challenging, try an hour at a time or even a minute at a time. That was me on Friday evenings for the first month or so. It is possible, and you will feel so much more... well it’s hard to find a word that covers grounded, present, better rested, braver, less puffy, better off, proud, enabled, empowered, renewed, free .... the list goes on forever.

Congratulations @Furble on your 150 days! That is brilliant. Do you have anything planned to mark the occasion? Or any scary metrics on how many calories/units/money you have saved?

Thanks for the bike congratulations too. I am still waking up with a smile on my face, and the ache in my hips is gradually fading. It was such an achievement for me, and entirely down to stopping drinking and gaining enough confidence to try again. Now that I have my Saturday and Sunday mornings back, who knows what could happen.. 🚴‍♀️🚴‍♀️🚴‍♀️