Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

Welcome lostandsad111 you're in the right place. A day at a time. An hour or even minute by minute. One thing that helped me at the beginning was that i only had to get through that day. Don't think too far ahead. The intention is to stop permanently but you can only focus and deal with this exact present moment.
The other thing was that I can drink as much as I like except the first drink. That really hit me and made me realise I couldn't or no longer wanted to try to moderate.

blackberryblossom that's brilliant!! Well done on overcoming that fear. Great to hear you feel empowered!! Maybe when this bloody snow goes away I will drag my very unused bike from years ago out of the back of the shed and hope it hasn't rusted up beyond repair. Or maybe that's me 🤣🤣

I’m on day 16 of completely giving up drinking. Failed at dry January, but I wasn’t ready. I’m doing well now. Great thread.

Yes! Don’t borrow trouble (if that’s the right phrase). One of the —reasons— pretexts that I used to justify not going alcohol-free was “what about dd’s wedding? How would you feel not celebrating that with a glass of champagne?” DD is currently 12. Clearly not a problem I’m going to have any time soon, and meanwhile she’s (hopefully) got years and years to get used to having a non-drinking mother. Even then she might decide not to get married. Looking at it now I can’t believe how much credibility I gave to such a silly thought.

Thanks @Breathmiller 😀 at least I have a wider choice of lockdown exercise now, and I love the headspace it gives me. Bicycles seem pretty forgiving of being sat around for a few years.

Hello @AStudyinPink , congratulations on day 16! Your username is giving me visions of lovely pink painted studies.

Thanks! I’m feeling a lot better. I was a 4 bottles of wine a week drinker for about 15 years, other than pregnancies, and feeling worse and worse about it. Physically and mentally. I’ve got some professional help and I’m looking forward to the thoughts about drinking receding, because there’s an awful lot I want to do.

One of the —reasons— pretexts that I used to justify not going alcohol-free was “what about dd’s wedding? How would you feel not celebrating that with a glass of champagne?” DD is currently 12.

My addictive voice does the same thing. “What are you going to do next time you’re in Soho and it’s a lovely warm summer evening?”

Erm... not helpful when considering my actual wine-pyjamas-cheese-TV habit.

@Blackberryblossom that sounds so familiar! I'm just committing to now, but I catch my head going there sometimes.

It has been a tough few days - I feel just sunk in a pit of grief - but I'm sober, on day 34.

Hey everyone!

I’ve not been in in a while as I’ve had a tough time with my two girls.
My 4 year old has been really struggling at home throughout lockdown and it’s effected her so much that the head teacher has offered her a place at school.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe again.

I’m on day 89!! I can’t quite believe it!!

I haven’t had chance to read the thread but I hope everyone is managing ok.

I found something to add to my tool kit- Heineken 0.0 amazing beer taste but no alcohol, bonus!

coldwatertherapy im so sorry that you have such a thing to deal with. The pain of grief is so all engulfing. Well done for going through it dry.

Hi all,

Have been reading this thread on and off for ages and have finally taken the plunge. So helpful to read everyone else's experiences and successes so thank you.

My alcohol consumption has been out of control for years to be honest but the last 18months or so has been 1.5 bottles of wine plus a couple of Gins every night and I have just had enough. I read the Allen carr easy way book and have been AF since Monday. So only day 3 but still proud and the longest I have gone without alcohol for years .

More than that, I feel happy and so relieved. I'm sure it will be hard but I am also sure I will do it. Such an amazing difference in how I feel now versus all the self loathing and futility I have been feeling.

Looking forward to being a part of this community

Welcome Cryptic. 3 days is brilliant! It really is. Give yourself a pat on the back and remember these good feelings.

To anyone who has slipped and fallen off the wagon, and is lurking and not posting, can I just say... most of us who are 'comfortably' sober now, have done the very same... over and over. Please don't think 'that's it, I'll never do it' and write yourself off.

You get stronger and stronger every time you get back on the wagon. You remember more and more all the good bits of a life without alcohol. Even if the same pattern happens over a few years - eventually you'll have your last 'day one'. I don't know why, but I just felt the need to post that. Hope that is helpful to someone.

Hi and welcome to all and very well done on all your achievements.
@crypticandsober my story is very similar to yours. For MANY YEARS I drank at least a bottle of wine every night and was also fond (too fond) of Gin and Tonic
On December 5th last year I decided that was it! Today I am day 61 AF. I honestly had serious doubts (despite my determination) that I could do it and would have been grateful to have got through a month.
After 2 months plus I'm cock-a-hoop to have got this far. I sleep so much better and my skin is showing improvement. I've also lost a few pounds and hoping to lose a few more if I can kick my chocolate habit!
My favourite evening drink is now lemon and lime with ice and slice and an extra plus is Mr. Horlicks has also cut down dramatically to support me.
I bought a bottle of Gordon's AF Gin but it turned out a bit pricey as I attacked it hard as I loved the taste. I think it may have tempted me to buy the real stuff in the early days so I wouldn't recommend it yet. (You may be different to me).
I often wonder if I could moderate as I have never tried before -- I just guzzled and guzzled the years away.
The one thing I don't miss are the hangover headaches from hell!
Good luck to you and everyone else on this thread. It's kept me going on some low days.

pamelapeaches thats a great post. You are so right. Keep going with these day 1s and one time it just seems to fit.

Well done and welcome crypticandsober. 3 days is great!! It does get easier I promise, the hardest days are the earlier days. So massive congratulations at ticking off 3 days.

horlicks 2 months is brilliant!! Well done. And great to hear you are feeling the benefits.

My drink of choice every evening is sparkling water in a wine glass. Tap water in a tumbler the rest of the day, but that change to an 'evening drink' (even though it is still just water) is so lovely.

I keep AF alternatives and fizzy drinks like coke or ginger beer for the weekends.

Thanks all for the welcome . I am trying not to substitute drinks wise so just sticking to Diet Coke or squash and tonic which I drink normally. I decided I'm capable of relaxing on a Weekend day (albeit usually hungover!) without an alcoholic drink so no need to substitute in the evening as fear that would be a slippery slope. Not sure how long that reasoning will last though! Good to have some recommendations for alternatives. My husband was my equal drinking partner and has stopped as well but without quit lit or anything so is still of the 'l'll take a break and reset and then moderate mentality'. I'm hoping that he'll move to the abstinence POV by himself.

Hi all, just checking in after a social media break. Haven't managed to read back that far yet but hope everyone is doing okay.
Day 205 here but not finding it the easiest atm. Wobbly resolve but hanging in.
Good to be back :)
Hope all are well x

Checking in, day 33 and feeling good. I definitely feel much more ‘centred’ and calm especially with everything that is going on in the world. I’m meeting every day with a smile and the weekends are great with my af gin and the odd Diet Coke and zero hangovers. I’m keeping up with the thread every day and cheering by you all on xx

Quick drive by post to thank whoever recommended the oz podcast review of Allen Carr book and also Rachel Hart podcasts which I am binging on, she really 'speaks to me' as they say these days.

Just checking in to say hi all, and so the thread doesn’t drop off my active threads😂

Love your post @Horlicks4me, well done you!

It's great to see some of the new starters hitting the first milestones and ploughing on. This time of year is a killer, quitting booze at the same time can make it feel like an endless winter, but just wait till the spring, you will be gamboling with the lambs...😊

Personally I found AF beer a useful crutch to begin with, not triggering but it helped me to not miss booze. Now I rarely have one. My drink of choice is kombucha, or any kind of caffeine free tea. And I'm making my own kefir.

@Drybird2020 with your herbal teas and home made kefir you are conjuring up pictures of some sort of Mother Earth hovering over a stove in home knitted clothes😂 You sound like a real hippy😂

@Drybird2020 my go to is Heineken 0.0 as even though I’m gluten intolerant I can handle it. It really helps me through a craving. I’ve tried a few alcohol free guns but they just don’t hit the spot like the af beer.

Alcohol free guns😂 beer

For those that like AF alternatives the Strykk Not Rum is delicious. I'm having it with sugar and caffeine free coke. That's dedication to fake versions of the real thing.

I just needed to have it with a fake vegan bacon sandwich on fake gf bread and I could be a total fraud!

Sounds pretty lush for a fake fix @Breathmiller , enjoy!!

Just stopping by to share that I’m 5 months sober today!! I’ve celebrated with a chicken kebab and a can of irn bru, life is good!!

Brilliant @furble that is fab 5 months!

Can I ask when on a phone on mumsnet and replying to people it offers me the suggested @ link below to whoever I'm replying to but I don't know how to accept it, I tap it and it just disappears ... there must be a trick to it.