Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

I’m really sorry if the cutting down conversation caused anyone any anxiety, really didn’t mean it too. You are all doing great and I wish you well on your continued freedom

@LavenderBee I hope you're OK whatever you decide. If you are at all concerned about the potential effects of stopping suddenly you should speak to your GP.

Good luck @LavenderBee! And do join us when you’re ready! Meanwhile there are lots of great groups out there for moderators!

There is no way in hell I’m going back on the booze now!!! I finally feel like I’ve got half a grip on my life, and with kids at home and a job I need a clear head now more than ever! So grateful for not drinking today!!!

Hi @Blackberryblossom I hope you are coping well with the latest news concerning the school closures. Good to hear less jangling of wine bottles in your bin!! Nobody would notice my new found empty bottles as I only bought BOXES . My purse is certainly feeling the benefit and it's like somebody has clicked their fingers re my sleep pattern as I'm sleeping much better now.I have always been a poor sleeper as not only was I drinking but I had years of night shifts behind me too. My complexion is improving too mainly due to the fact that it actually gets to see some cream on it overnight now (the p**d me couldn't be bothered). I'm 32 days sober now (at last I can say I have reached a whole month) and one of the best outcomes is that Mr. Horlicks has not had a drink for 2 days. This is also someone who was drinking daily and his "beer belly '' was stretching. I have never put pressure on him but I truly believe he thought I wouldn't /couldn't stick at it.
Welcome to all the newcomers -- it isn't easy for the very early days but I really feel as if I'm making progress. Now I need to work on my food cravings. I've scoffed the Xmas choccies so no excuse!.

Checking in, day 4 here and feeling super motivated. Enjoying a quiet day before going back to work tomorrow, did a wee workout this morning and I was pretty sure Joe Wicks was trying to kill me at the time but I feel great now . A year ago I could have smashed out one of his workout no problem but the excess of booze has taken its toll in my fitness even though I’m a regular runner (too skippy here to run today).
I just wanted to say I’m thinking about all of you having to juggle homeschooling and working, I work in education and I promise a lot of us are trying to support you as much as we can

*slippy! Wtf autocorrect?!

Hello everyone! I’m four months sober today! Yippee! I am so proud to have made it through a whole third of a year sober and feel very encouraged about the road ahead.

Someone mentioned upthread about mumsnet in general being dire at the moment with the new lockdown. I looked at my screen time report over Christmas and it really hit home to me how much idle time I was still wasting, despite being sober, scrolling through threads of angry people having a go at each other about corona. It’s mad when you think about it, I was punishing myself as a hobby! So I’ve discovered I can set a screen time daily limit for websites and I’ve set my mumsnet limit to 30 mins which gives me enough time to catch up and post on my favourite threads and skip everything else. It’s been a few days and already I feel lighter not succumbing to the madness and I’ve read quite a few chapters of my new book!

I’ve managed two wet and windy runs this week so feeling proud. Want to pick back up with the at home yoga tomorrow, I think someone said upthread they were doing the new yoga with Adriene series, I’ll be joining you I think, isn’t she fabulous.

Sending strength to all of those juggling today, particularly @Cartooner with your four but it sounds like you have a very measured and balanced approach. Let’s just take it one day at a time, and focus on small incremental things we can do for ourselves. Like being here and being sober!

@Horlicks4me Congratulations on one month sober! Huge achievement you must be thrilled

Congrats Furble on 4 months, you're a legend!!!

Oh god I really do need to curb online. Homeschool hasn't started here so there maybe a slow unravelling of my mind over the next few weeks.

Hi all
I keep reading and keeping up a little with everyone, it's so good to see how busy this thread is.

Well done at a month horlicks and 4 months furble. So great to tick these milestones off.

I am bored today and we are all lounging around the sofa. I had a bit of a 'sod it' moment of being in control all the time and I went crazy on the last of the Christmas chocolate which is really not good for my keeping healthy and good attitude with food (I'm doing the Paul Mckenna hypnosis) . But in the past it definitely would have been a trip to the shops for a 'treat shop' which would invariably have been alcohol. I'm so glad I don't do that now.

Lovely to hear of all the yoga-ing and meditation going on. And the running. I didn't keep my running up but I have been going for a walk every day. Although to get out of my house at the moment is like a skating rink.

Huge congrats to horlicks and furble 👏🏻
I’m quite shocked at my what’s app feed from friends who know I’m doing this but posting photos of their booze set up ready for homeschooling etc.
My eldest self harms, has done (unknown to us) for a few years & then attempted suicide in September. To say her A level prospects have plummeted is an understatement. I know her MH is more important than grades but to her they are the key to her future. I’m delighted she’s thinking she has a future. She and I were hoping her MH would improve massively by summer given she’s now getting help but the cancellation of exams has seriously upset her. The turmoil yesterday & somewhat today has been much easier to deal with as a non-drinker. I didn’t even think about having a drink. Usually that’d be my go to. I was much more able to provide the much needed support being sober. I’m so pleased I’m doing this. I’ve not been the best mother in the past but I think I can be a much improved one now. I just wanted to share that really. My friends in RL just wouldn’t understand.

@Stayingvigilant I'm so sorry for all that your daughter is going through, it's hard to imagine how hard it is for kids in exam years, especially at the stage in life when it does seem the be all and end all. It must have been difficult to know how to support her through such turbulent times and absolutely, definitely, without a doubt, you are doing it better now minus the booze.
Can you mute the thread with the friends with all the drinks? If they know you are doing this it's more than a bit off of them.

💐 For you and your girl.

First AF day was the 29th so last night was 7 days. And I REALLY fancied a glass of wine, but distracted myself and didn’t drink and I’m so glad. Already I look 5 years younger and I am sleeping so so much better. Gone is the horrible feeling of having to drag myself out of bed in the morning, I feel rested and energised even when I’ve been to bed a bit late or the small child has woken me up really early. Stay strong all you other newbies!!!

@Stayingvigilant I’m so sorry for what your daughter is going through, but you’re absolutely doing the right thing being sober. As well as you being more emotionally available for her, you’re showing her that you don’t need drugs/alcohol to get through a rough patch. I hope things settle down for her when we get more clarity about what form assessments will take. This year has been so tough for children. 🌸

@Stayingvigilant. Well done on staying sober through a very difficult time. As a Mother (mine are now grown up) I have often taken myself back to the days when I know I could have been more present and made different decisions. The present day is what is important and it sounds like you're being supportive and being a great Mum. Well done.x

@StayingVigilant so sorry to hear about your daughter. I do believe young people get such a rough deal; they run the smallest risk (Corona wise) yet pay the largest price.

I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday, I’m fucking shattered already. Trying to keep my chin up. Trying to stay off mumsnet (as I find some threads just absolutely crazy and scaremongering) but like to pop on here because you guys are lovely🤩

Thank you all for your kind words and support. She’s the reason I’ve stopped. She bravely told me what effect it was having on her and the other DC. I promised I’d moderate, which lasted all of a few weeks. So here I am. Here we are. I’ve a lot to thank her for and only wish I’d stepped up to the plate decades ago. Day 19 here so early days but this absolutely has to be forever. Huge thanks for this thread and your support!! Seriously!

@Stayingvigilant I'd imagine your decision helps her feel brave now.

@Horlicks4me do you mind me asking is Horlisks nice?

Hi @Cartooner. Unsure about HorliSks but I do enjoy HorliCks now and again (lol!). I make it with water as described on the container but you could make it with milk for a creamier taste (I could do with losing a stone so stick with water). It's malty flavoured and availaber in a 'light' version. It comes in sachets and containers so perhaps you could try a sachet to see if you like it? I have craved sweet stuff and junk in general since giving up the booze and this hits the spot for a change.

@StayingVigilant she sounds like such a star - so brave to tell you, I would never have told my mum. What does she want to do? It must be crushing, and confusing for them. I really hope it's at least less of a shambles than last year!

@Flydesk yay for a week!

I don't work officially on a Wednesday except yesterday I left work late and raced home for my church group, and woke up thinking of the things I'd not finished. So have done a couple of hours of emails/ firefighting - clearheaded at 7:30!

Am feeling so much more positive than Sunday morning. Keeping to this thread here, and #catsoftwitter without too much politics, as I agree the 'that's it for dry January' in both places was tough to read.
Decorations down today and - despite not being much of a traditionalist - will see if I've got some chalk to chalk my door with the Epiphany blessing. Hope the homeschoolers and homeworkers are coping

Happy women's Christmas to you, it's traditional here to great yourself this evening and I've a cold af cider and warm PJs waiting for me.

Sounds like you're doing great @vanitythynameisnotwoman, nice to have a social outlet with the church group in these times.

I must try horlicks with a c!

Treat!

Happy Women’s Christmas @Cartooner and all of the fabulous people on here! If ever I needed an excuse for early pjs, hot chocolate and my pick of movie I’ve got it now

@StayingVigilant thank you for the congrats and I’m sorry to hear what you and your girl have been going through. It does sound tough but she sounds incredibly strong and what better motivation than your beautiful children to be doing this. We are standing here with you every step of the way.

Thank you for all the lovely congrats for 4 months! I celebrated with a cold wet run!

Congrats on one whole week @Flydesk so glad to hear you’re feeling miles better already.

Have a lovely evening all!

Day 11 for me and feeling like I’m doing really well. I’m not keen on Horlicks but you guys have just made me add Ovaltine to my shopping list 😄!

Sorry for all those having tough times and congrats on the milestones achieved.

Still in self isolation here - the 2 positives have now completed their 10 days but on day 9, I developed a cough, so my isolation needs to continue. However, I’m feeling pretty well at the moment.

She is an absolute star vanity and absolutely worth it furble. I’m really not thinking about drinking. Isn’t entering my head at all which is amazing after just 19 days.
To be honest drybird seeing the chatter has been therapeutic. The what’s app friends posting their cocktails & ‘bars’ and various other social media places cancelling dry January etc have actually been good for me as I’d usually be agreeing with them all and joining in posting my own photos as it’s all so intrinsic within our culture isn’t it? This time I’m not understanding it; it actually seems an odd thing to do. Which is quite a revelation.