"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

The first hair appointment of the day is the absolute business, it means the rest of Saturday is freeeeeeee even if you're getting colour done. If you have to factor in a hangover beforehand it basically eats up most of the day.

I'm sad for you guys feeling the intrusive thoughts and the fear, but selfishly reassured that I'm not alone with this, especially when someone said they get worried about the DC and partner going somewhere in a car without them.

@Breathmiller I am SO glad to read that your boy is doing better and I hope that the medication will do its job. This time last year one of my DCs was quite unwell and I was in a state, not helped at all by drinking copious amounts of wine to make myself into less of a state, with the predictable outcome that everything felt much worse. It was round about then that I decided I needed to stop forever, it took a couple of months for me to get my act together, but here I am... So you've already done yourself a huge good turn by managing this tough time from a position of sobriety and I bet you're more present and responsive as a result.

@Hangingover were you thinking about the CBD to help with the flight? How are you doing with all that, was the thought of hypnotherapy not very appealing?

Hey everyone. Wise words as ever there @Drybird2020. I like the one about scheduling appointments around hangovers @Hangingover. I have the unfortunate tendancy off being unable to lie in so would never sleep past 7 even if out till 2am, so a big night out meant the next was always, and without failure, a write off. I really want to know you sticky toffee apple pudding. I feel like I am hunkering down for the winter and comfort food is a priority.

@Breathmiller congratulations on 70 days! (71 now). I hope all is okay with DS. Thank you for your advice on meditations. I am have a jittery time of it and have done my first yoga session in over a week and feeling comforted from it. I've been for a swim this morning too. My flakey friend has baled out on me for lunch today, and I'm a bit cross at her but trying not to dwell on it so it's nice to check in here and see how everyone else is going.

Hi lovely pals.
I got lucky with the forecast so DP and his crew of overgrown teenagers including shag-twin are leaving in the morning. I was to sad to eat dinner so DP had one and a half dinners. He's packing really badly as we speak. I'm aware I come across as utterly co-dependent btw, I do intend on addressing it one day when I no longer have OCD

@Drybird2020 it was sort of a thought for the flight and just in general but sadly here you have to have a doctor's note and pay an admin fee which is more $$$ I don't have, ditto hypnotherapy Finances are absolutely dire in fact but I can't think about that.

Hair appointment is tomorrow. To try and save money I got my roots bleached and toned at the local salon which is half the price of the one in Perth and the regrowth went orange she's going to have another go tomorrow morning...I'm not optimistic! Thanks for being there for me lads, anxiety is a bitch, especially when wine is constantly dancing around in the back of my mind.

Two dogs and a tiny huskey at the beach today though, so that was nice.

hangingover
My dh is from Perth. His brother is still there with his beautiful family. I'd love to go visit it one day.

I'm trying to keep up with times for you. Chat to you here in the morning. Let us know how your hair appointment goes.

We are returning to normal a bit here, all quiet and peaceful.

And the everlasting saga that has been my bathroom refurb is nearly over and I may have the luxury of a working toilet, sink AND bath by the end of the day!!

And it's cold here so we have apple pie for after dinner.

Ulysses sorry your lunch was cancelled. Well done on the yoga and the swim. I was doing some wild swimming at the end of the summer but was put off by the lack of a hot shower when i came back and now I think I might have to admit to being a fair weather wild swimmer and wait now until the spring.

I'm still craving some wild swimming but haven't managed it yet. Think I may have to wait until next year now! .

Enjoy your new bathroom, Breathmiller!

Thanks a lot breathmiller DP has set off....I still feel anxious and sad...I know I sound mad but we literally haven't been apart for more than an hour since February so it's a weird feeling. Hairdresser has sort of fixed the scary hair. I've made a list of things to keep me occupied each day...can anyone else think of anything fun to add?

After DP Went I cycled about for two hours. I like cycling but I'm not very good at it - I hadn't really done it before coming here. I need to get better because if I have to move out of London I need to be able to get about while I learn to drive. (God I sound like a child - I'm 33 honestly. Ran a Department and paid my bills and everything!). I can just about let go with one hand now to indicate but it's super wobbely.

DP and me found this super sharing thing on Google maps where we can see eachother so that helps a bit, it even shows how much battery they have left!

I've already worked out that if I go cycling every day I mustn't take my wallet...I just cycled past the bottleshop and the pull of going in and buying beer to drink in the park was really strong and sudden! "No one would ever know" says the addictive voice. When I said that to DP he quite rightly said, "well I'd know because you'd tell me" and he's right. Best not to have any temptation.

@Hangingover leave the ice cream to melt, then pour into the loo and flush. This also works for old soup.
Good list! I'd also add some time consuming beauty processes; face mask maybe making your own with an avocado or whatever, nails if you do them. And something repetitive and fiddly like polishing jewellery or changing on the buttons on a jacket, while listening to a podcast. If in doubt, clean the bathroom again.

It's pitch dark and the rain is pelting down and I'm contemplating driving to work for the first time in a couple of weeks. It's not particularly inspiring!

Just checking in!
Jealous of people getting hair cuts, mines like a birds nest right now😂😂😂

Managed to do some work last night and fix a bug in some old bit of programming, there is no way I would have done that had I still been drinking. (Well, I have programmed drunk before but the results are 😂😱🤣🙃)

I do like the new me. It’s not perfect but better than it was.

leave the ice cream to melt, then pour into the loo and flush. This also works for old soup

This is what I do at home but they have a septic tank here, I wonder if it might ruin the bacteria or whatever...I can't work out if the sink goes to the septic tank or just the loo. Was thinking I could pour it down the sink bit by bit. DH forgot to put the bin out so it's just sitting in the bin at the moment

Facemasks are v.good idea! I think I've got one embroidery in my set left too.

@bunniesbunniesbunnies I was drunk for my French GCSE oral - I bossed it somehow

Do you have Audible or similar, @Hangingover? I swear by the distraction and companionship of an audiobook. You can get your first book free. And you can have my login deets if you’d like to see if they work in Aus.

I hear that! I have nearly 200 classic anxiety; I have them on constantly.

Urgh lads, the urge is strong today. I cannot stand this anxiety. My brain is literally torturing me with every awful scenario it can come up with, it's so unfair.

Oh, @Hangingover, that’s horrible. I’ve been there with anxiety (well, similar) and really feel for you.
I know lots has been discussed above, but do you find controlled breathing possible? May five mins of that regularly throughout the day, or 2 mins if that’s more manageable. And then could you chat on t he phone with someone? It’s not a bad time to call the UK. Happy to Skype if you feel like it. If also suggest getting some calming carbs into you. What for dinner? Sod that, have a carby snack if you can.

Hang in there hangingover
You've got a great list.
I like to do online jigsaws while listening to audible. Or a real jigsaw? But I'm aware I'm like 100 years older than you and its cold and wet and miserable here.

No one would ever know" says the addictive voice. When I said that to DP he quite rightly said, "well I'd know because you'd tell me" and he's right
But you would know. And that's more important.

Oh dear, typo hell, I didn’t read it back 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hang in there @Hangingover, you’ve got this💪💪💪

@Hangingover

"Breathe into the goodness that you are" I love that.

Thanks lads. I just drunk-ate a huge spaghetti dinner actually (drink-eating is not, in fact, eating things while drunk - although the two often coincided - it's a particular manner of sad spaghetti eating which involves high speed and not much chewing - utterly revolting but quite comforting. Maybe I'll try some of that nice yoga breathing with my smelly candle lit. I really want to reach out to my sponsor but some time I feel like I don't want to burden her? Even though she has told me many times to call her day or night.

Hopefully when DP has finished his epic drive for the day I'll calm down and after the bottle shop is shut I'll relax. Annoyingly they've spontaneously concluded the forecast in the dust bowl of doom now isn't any good any more so they want to push on the the beautiful coastal town a few hours further north which is all white beaches, soy lattes and yoga studios. So I could have bloody gone with them after all.

Thanks for being there for me everyone it means so much to me.

Ah I hear you on the drink-eating , we call it inhaling your food instead of eating it.

Can you find a yoga class to go to you nearby? And go get a soya latte after? Make your own wee rereat. Papaner, nourish, nurture.

Pamper not papaner

Joining.

Sadly there is no yoga class in this town and there only one cafe open during the week which shuts at 2. Really do admire the rural Aussie approach to business - they all seem to work just as much as they need to and then spend the rest of the time having a good time camping, boating and murdering the wildlife.

What they do have, however, is Australian Oreos in abundance. Will likely be size of a whale by the time DP gets home.

Hello Basedonyourthread hop aboard, what's your hot drink of choice?