"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

wellysock sorry you've had a crap day. Make sure you put "an early night" into your tool box. Once you know its in there it's always an option.

On the yoga front, two minutes is enough when life is busy. Find your breath. That can be enough.

@wellysock I have kept a journal every day of this, and if feeling crap I force myself to write it down and also flick back to more energised entries for a pick me up. My children are so loud and so difficult at the moment I'm just glad I'm not letting myself reach for wine.... one thing in my toolbox for managing them is stay sane and breathe through the chaos.

@MyLifeNow20 I feel like a bit of a fraud as my meditation corner sounds a bit fancy for a chair with a furry throw, a side table with a lamp and candle, next to the window of my room. Its a small enough room so sitting in the chair my knees almost touch the bed! But the act of setting it up, having my calm app at the ready, the book radical compassion by Tara Brach and most importantly a key in my bedroom door....it's a start.

@Cartooner, key in your bedroom door! What a game changer and it’s just inspired me on what I’m asking my DH to get me for Christmas, a key to our bedroom, our en-suite and the family bathroom. I would like to wee undisturbed by children in 2021!

Thank you for the 100 congratulations! Did anyone else feel a bit flat after hitting a milestone! I think I’ve been fixating on 100 since I started.

@MyLifeNow20 Please join us! I was a bottle (or more) a day girl too. The I Am Sober app really helped me at the start, and I know it sounds ridiculous but at the end of the working day I used to make myself a little timetable for my evening (such a geek), so I’d have a “plan” with time with the kids, then chores, then some admin I’d been procrastinating on and then something for me. It really helped keep me busy. Also I drank a lot of hot chocolate at the beginning and I still drink a lot more nice soft drinks that I ever had when drinking.

@Wellysock Sorry you’ve had a crappy day. I imagine you’re probably feeling a bit better by now that the kids are settled and you’ve had a breather? Bath, book and early bed?

@Breathmiller I got into running very, very slowly. For the first month I just went out for a brisk walk at lunch every week day. Then for the second month, I only jogged the downhill bits, I built it up super slowly and gradually and I enjoyed listening to podcasts while I was doing it. I think it became a punctuation point in the day that was just for me, so I kept going.

Hope everyone has had a good day!

[quote Cartooner]@wellysock I have kept a journal every day of this, and if feeling crap I force myself to write it down and also flick back to more energised entries for a pick me up. My children are so loud and so difficult at the moment I'm just glad I'm not letting myself reach for wine.... one thing in my toolbox for managing them is stay sane and breathe through the chaos.

@MyLifeNow20 I feel like a bit of a fraud as my meditation corner sounds a bit fancy for a chair with a furry throw, a side table with a lamp and candle, next to the window of my room. Its a small enough room so sitting in the chair my knees almost touch the bed! But the act of setting it up, having my calm app at the ready, the book radical compassion by Tara Brach and most importantly a key in my bedroom door....it's a start.[/quote]
Ha the bedroom key!
I love the calm app, I listen to a sleep story every night, not tried the meditation....

Thanks everyone. @Cartooner a journal is a great idea. I've always fancied bullet journaling but I know I'm terrible for putting things down and not picking them up again. Though maybe that was booze related... might consider it in the new year.

The early night worked a treat and today has been much more positive.

Wellysock glad the early night headed.

I have a busy few last days ahead of me so my dh let me sleep in snd did yhe school run for me. I slept til 11!! I can't believe I did actually. But it was needed. Sleep is a good thing.

So I'm going to add in the occasional lie in to my toolbox.

Early night 'helped'

Just checking in. Gosh I'm so behind. Just a reminder to any new quitters to take your B vitamins like good lasses.

Actually had a bloody job interview today! First one. I was so friendly and positive I was practically bursting into song. Also made a vegan chocolate cake so sweet and chocolatey I feel like I'm now on a speed comedown.

I'm doing the online SMART meeting tonight, partially to catch up on my knitting and partially because I saw a bottle of gin in the cupboard while searching for baking ingredients today while everyone was out and was hit by a powerful urge to have a swig, "no one would ever know!".

Keep sober fabulous peeps.

I hope the interview works out!

I've my end of year performance review on zoom tomorrow. Anxiety kicking in. It's been such a mess of a year, took a month off unpaid in the middle as I was just so exhausted managing kids and wfh as our childminder of a decade couldn't take them anymore. I feel like it'll be a fine review but I'm very defensive of any potential criticism as I worked with no childcare and delivered on everything.... i want go stay professional and not scream I don't care if everything wasn't perfect cos it nearly killed me

@Cartooner I’m sure the appraisal will go great tomorrow, sounds like you’ve gone absolutely above and bloody beyond this year. It’ll be nice to have it out the way before Christmas too.

@Hangingover Sounds like the interview went really well! Keeping fingers crossed for you. What do B vitamins help with?

@Breathmiller Glad you got an epic sleep in to prepare you for the coming busy days and @Wellysock glad you’re feeling much brighter today.

Another evening of wrapping here, its very easy to keep busy in the evenings in December I’m off tomorrow so looking forward to spending the day with the kids doing something festive.

@Hangingover could you please share the vegan recipe for sweet chocolatiness?

YES to B vitamins, I didn't get around to taking them at first but when I did, I noticed an upturn in my very low mood.

@Breathmiller I wholeheartedly recommend C25K. I'd tried and failed to take up running again, numerous times since having kids, and got injured every time by taking it too fast, but this time I've stuck with it and stayed fit. It's a really easy, gentle, baby step programme and if you feel like it's too quick you can repeat runs as many times as you like. Yoga before and after has also been essential for me, I use Adriene's runners' warm up and cool down but you'll probably have your own sequences!

Hope everyone is managing. In 10 days I'll have done my first sober Christmas, I'm excited! 🤶🎄☕🥧🎀🎆

Sorry not to tag more names, I always read the posts but the thread moves fast and I'm often reading on the go, which I know is true for many of us! For anyone feeling left out I'd recommend continuing to post - even if you feel like you're going unnoticed, you're really not. And if you specifically need help with something, say it loudly! You'll get a response that way.

Well said @Drybird2020 about people continuing to post. I find it hard to keep track and remember to tag but I do read them all and they all help.

Lovely post @Drybird2020.

I’m keen to try yoga or meditation in the new year. I’ve tried so many times and never persevered but I think I could really benefit.

Tomorrow marks 250 days for me. Unbelievable really.

Wow Bunnies 250 days is incredible! Excited for you! Have you noticed further changes as the months have built up? Any further perks of sobriety we can look forward to?

Sorry to barge on. I briefly visited thread 4 but could never keep up with who was who so drifted off but I’m struggling.
Help!
173 days and heading to my first sober Christmas in over 30 years and I’m starting to get twitchy.
I’m thinking ‘maybe 6 months is good enough, I can have a drink to celebrate’ 🤦🏼‍♀️
Christmas morning without a hangover will be wonderful but this is the first Christmas I have a week off and we won’t be driving anywhere. The perfect drinking opportunity.
I’m scared I’m going to undo all my hard work and it would be so easy to slip back into drinking.

How are you all dealing with a dry Christmas?
TIA

Hi @Oldhabitsarehardtobreak Congratulations on 173 days that’s an amazing achievement. I know for so many of us it’s unimaginable having a sober Christmas. I can barely believe it’s me when I’m telling people that that is my plan. However I have decided I just want to try it, in order to decide whether or not it’s going to work for me long term, I need to have at least experienced a sober Christmas so I know how it stacks up to a booze-laden one. So far I’m certainly finding myself to feel more festive than usual, significantly more on top of things and far more relaxed as a result. I didn’t expect any of these positive effects so I’m going to keep going.

We’ve been talking upthread about our sober toolkit for Christmas. Quite a few materials were shared and I know this thread is going to help me when I wobble. I think for most people on this thread it’ll be their first sober Christmas so you won’t be alone!

Whatever you decide to do, sending festive wishes your way!

Trying to keep up with the thread, I tend to lurk these days and not post so often.

It's my second sober Christmas this year. Last year I was so busy hosting on the day that I didn't really think about alcohol. Instead I had some non-alcoholic grape juice and elderflower cordial to hand.

I made cranberry sauce with port for the adults and a non-alcoholic version using orange juice for children and non-drinkers. Same with home made brandy butter, I made a non-alcoholic equivalent with orange zest and juice.

I also had the energy to wash up the extra pots and pans whilst the dishwasher was on, and had some good quality sleep, without waking up full of anxiety.

It really does help to focus on the positives.
And remember that having just one drink is not an option. Day 421 here.

Wow @BunniesBunniesBunnies what an achievement! Congratulations 

@Oldhabitsarehardtobreak you're not alone doing your first sober Christmas. I am too and there's plenty of others. For me, the thought of being present, able to remember everything, able to engage in activities with my children and actually want to is what's keeping the momentum up pre Christmas. We have no visitors this year which helps too. Have you got a busy one?

I will do a summary of the toolbox ideas over the weekend as ideas for anyone in need of their own.

It's an oldie but one day at a time is a good mantra.

@Oldhabitsarehardtobreak, this is a good time to drop in, you're not alone in finding December hard. It's a dismal month and Christmas used to give an excuse to drink through it, but not any more. You can do this. I think it's a good idea to be as prepared as possible and I love the toolbox idea from @Cartooner. How about planning something for every day of your week off?

Just jumping on quickly to say "happy 250 days" bunnies that's amazing!!

Christmas!? Bah!! If we can get through what we've got through this year without alcohol then Christmas is a doddle. We've got this! 💪

Toolboxes at the ready lads!

Thank you all. It is good to know I’m not alone, I will try and read back and see if I can follow who’s who.

Would you believe I’ve been given a hamper with 2 bottles of wine in today? DH is still drinking so they will be enjoyed, I just hope not by me!

I will go off and search toolbox ideas but a summary so they are all in one place would be handy to refer back to so thanks Cartooner I have zero planned for Christmas so nothing to occupy me, we won’t be seeing people due to CEV at home. I will probably be glad to get back to work!

I look forward to being able to say 250 days sober. That a major achievement 🙂 I’ll be 30 days on Sunday, it’s unbelievable how quickly it’s passed.
I had a wobble in Tesco and actually picked up a mulled wine and thought “ it’s only 5%” then I thought about having to go back to day 1. It was enough to make me put it back.

My body has hit constipation mode now 😬 (5days) anyone else suffer with this?

Well done @Iris5543 on your achievement so far. I'm 14 days today and I agree about not wanting to go back to day1 too as it will all seem like a waste of time. The main side effect for me is my sleeping pattern .I seem to only be able to get 4 hours in a row and the rest of the time I'm waking up and clockwatching every 40 minutes or so. I'm hoping that passes.
I'm dreading xmas day too as it will seem very strange not to have a drink on that day but there will only be DH and myself so not having visitors will help.
Re the constipation -- maybe get some Senokot and take them the night before? That may help?

Just a quick one from me 40 days today. Can’t quite believe it.