"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Thanks 100. i appreciate your reply.

you have reminded me to start reading my quit lit again. One book at a time. My denial is very very deep.

Thankfulyl I have the next 3 days off work - I am very close to a breakdown. So I forsee lots of housework and walking and sorting out the garden. Healing I hope.

It sounds like the only way is up from here CatRed. Do you have some support, or any helplines to call? Writing things down can be a way to let things out. But sounds like you have a plan in place too.
Make sure and look after yourself, food and water, maybe some reading (of any kind) to relax. A good run can help to let off steam- even 90 seconds followed by walking.

Oh yes- definitely the way is up. My 3 days off has been hard won and a long time coming and I thought to myself that i simply do not want to get to the end of them knackered because I have drunk through them. There is little of me left.

I was having hypnosis for stress last year- I might look into that again.

:)

Support- well DH gave up drinking a few years back. He never had a problem, and gave up without thinking about it (he gave up smoking at the same time and became vegan) so it helps to not have someone drinking in the house. I also work with people who have literally lost everything (their homes, their children) due to addiction issues - the most insidious of which is usually alcohol!) so the repercussions of this is in my face all the time. I always feel so uncomfortable when my colleagues are (sometimes) judging our clients when i know to a person in my team that we all have alcohol issues as well- just that it has not come home to roost for us - YET.

I have lurked and been so inspired on these threads by the good humour, great support of you all- and admire you all so very very much.

Welcome, @CatRed200 and @100percentme, I'm glad you've found us. I lurked on the stop drinking threads for years and years before joining in.

I hope everyone is managing OK - @BunniesBunniesBunnies are things back to normal with you now? (whatever normal means)

I've managed to spend a large part of the weekend out of doors which has helped, and my SAD lamp is a wonderful thing early in the morning when it's still dark and I'm pottering around. I find that getting up super early is the only way to get time to myself! That and running in the rain and the dark.

Welcome @CatRed200 and @100percentme!!!
Thanks for asking @Drybird2020, we are okay-ish. I seem to always have at least one kid at home due to burst bubbles, which makes work a bit mental... But like you I am also spending loads of time outdoors (with the family, and running by myself!) which has been so so so good for me. This weekend I've had more energy than I've had for ages, so I'm grateful for that.

It's funny you say you get up early to get time to yourself. I do exactly the same thing! I'd rather have a run or peaceful potter than a lie in. (Well, in an ideal world I would have both, haha!). Lovely early mornings are one of the great gifts of sobriety I think:-)

Can I ask how you are feeling about Christmas arrangements? I feel a bit triggered today as we out of lockdown in a couple of weeks and two pals arranging to meet to share a bottle of wine in a garden. Because I'm not worried about over doing it so much as what I said before it's not the amount of wine I drink more the thinking about it that bothers me. The minute I have one glass the moderation debate kicks in in my head. I don't want that. But I also know there friends will be wtf??? They are moderators, they'd go weeks without a drink and not notice. I'm not, I'm in that grey area but they wouldn't see that at all. They'll be disappointed which I know is not my problem. Anyway not sure what I'm saying except I'm just sharing. Hope you a well

Hello- thanks for the welcome. :)

I have not even started thinking about christmas yet i am afraid! I am looking forward to hearing everyone's advice. :)

Hi CatRed you sound very ready. I hope you enjoy your three days off and are doing things you like and enjoying some down time. I'm trying for some fresh air today before it gets dark and bought myself a lovely flavoured coffee earlier while on the school run, little things I planned last night to get me through another boring Monday.

francisCross I'm sorry that you've been dealing with the loss of your parent .
I think that's the thing about drinking isn't it?
Difficult situations? Drink to drown your sorrows. Something to be happy about? Drink to celebrate.

It shows that if you want to stop then we could constantly be waiting for the right time.

bunnies I love the RED idea. But I'm not a runner so I might try to do WED over my holidays at Christmas. Walk Every Day.

Although i didn't walk the school pick up today as it is vile out there.

Welcome CatRed200
I think if the thought of Christmas is overly daunting then just keep coming back to one day at a time.

Its the way I get through.

I put a gold star in my calendar on my phone every day. I put it at 6am so it's the first thing at the top .

Each and every day of these 100 or so stars were just each a day in their own right.

Some days these stars have been hard won and more and more these days I realise that I haven't noticed. And that feels good, to add a few stars in.

Hi all, I haven't had a drink in 4 months and had finally broken the association with a Friday night and automatically having a bottle of wine, but with Christmas coming I am starting to feel those cravings again. I keep telling myself it's not worth it as I know it's really not but I hate having those feelings again. At least with all the restrictions that COVID has caused, I will be able to avoid all the usual excuses to drink but I am dreading having these feelings again in the run up to Christmas.

I know. Christmas is a funny one to get those cravings all het up. I can feel it too. "One day at a time. One day at a time" is my motto when i get all antsy about a date way in the future.

I'm going to keep coming back to the fact I had my 50th in September and it was no less celebratory by not having alcohol. In fact I felt it went on longer because I didn't lose the next day to a hangover.

I am finding the darker nights and cold weather an issue though. I think its because I can find AF alternatives to summer drinks but winter alcohol drinks aren't so easy.

Someone mentioned AF mulled wine. I think I might make some soon. Or maybe I'll try to hold off to at least December.

I have been trying to lose a bit of weight too, now that I seem to be finding the AF easier. And I've been doing okay. Down during the week then a bit of a jump again at the weekends as I ease up a bit but generally I have lost an okay amount. But, boy, I am struggling tonight.

It's cold and dark and wet outside and for some reason that makes me want to eat EVERYTHNG!!

Ah yes... Christmas. It's the last big hurdle in my First Year of Sober, as I quit just before New year.

I am considering mulling some fancy cloudy Apple juice. And a hot ginger cordial is lovely. It will be strange not being tipsy in the morning and shitfaced by the evening on Christmas day but I am looking forward to it, and I'm sure my kids will appreciate my ability to focus on putting in batteries and sticking with board games. Plus I'm excited that we are getting a take away instead of the works at the grandparents' with the extended family- which is lovely but a change will be refreshing.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies its good to hear from you, I've noticed that a lot of us on here share quirks and habits (aside from being drunks). I'm glad I've acquired the running one. I think I will do RED over the Christmas holidays, if my body allows. Is daily yoga realistic too?

@Breathmiller I have lost weight gradually, with a bit of up and down but an overall downward trajectory. I relax at the weekends too, I can't be good all the time! I am almost 2 stone lighter now than when I stopped drinking.

For Christmas I am getting inspiration from La Maison we Wellness on Instagram. Also remembering how many people don't drink and have great Christmases. I also like that Jayne Grace Alcohol Free life podcast.

I'm completely new to these threads. Hope it's ok if I join.

I'm 423 days sober but really, really struggling at the moment. Feeling very low and craving some oblivion.

morning. welcome Vilt.

Day 3 here.

I am going to investigate the AF mulled wine today! I think the Ribena winter cordial might feature.....

@CatRed200

morning. welcome Vilt.

Day 3 here.

I am going to investigate the AF mulled wine today! I think the Ribena winter cordial might feature.....

Thanks for the welcome x

I haven't had Ribena for years but I think I might get some! It always used to feel very 'treaty' iykwim. Maybe that will help.

Good luck to you xx

Ooohhh Christmas... This Christmas I will be treating myself to NOT drinking!!!

This will allow me to:

• Be more present
• Eat more delicious food and really enjoy it😂
• Go for lovely runs and walks with the family

All hangover free! Bring on Christmas!

I am however sad that I haven’t thought of any delicious drinks to replace my wine with. Are non alcoholic mulled drinks nice?

I might just order lots and lots of herbal teas!

The thing I miss most about Christmas drinking is Baileys

Welcome Vilt

Well done CatRed on day 3!

bunnies i love that thought process. My biggest gift this year to myself is to have an AF Christmas! What a treat indeed. I'm going to treat myself to...

• a hangover free Christmas period
• being present with my family.
• keeping my skin feeling even better throughout the winter
• not falling asleep on the sofa or getting too hyper and making a tit of myself.
• really enjoying and remembering every moment.
• yoga and meditation every day
• feeling well enough for a walk- these lovely crisp walks that people have on Boxing Day but I never quite feel up to.

So many things to celebrate because I am AF.

I'm going to make this December a time to experiment with lots of different things and make the best winter AF drink.
The potential ingredients we have so far are...
Ginger cordial
Ribena
AF wine
Cloves
Mulled wine spices in general.

I have a lovely recipe for home made chai too. Really warming and spicy goodness.

I'll find the recipe and share.

Great list@Breathmiller!
I honestly can’t believe how much better my skin is now. It was awful during the last year of my drinking.

Vilt what do you like about Baileys? (Apart from the obvious😂). If it’s the creamy ness or chocolate flavour (is it chocolate?) could you replace it with a really good quality hot chocolate?

Or replace it with a really rich creamy cake? This Christmas I’m going to be eating all the calories I drank the last few years😂

Thinking of you @Hangingover. There’s absolutely no pressure for you to post but I just wanted to know I’m rooting for you.

Hi Vilt.

I am being a little childish today but everything helps. I have pasted pictures of happy non drinkers into a document titled 'INSPO' to reference when I need it and also grabbed a great list from this section of mumsnet where someone listed how great they feel after 7 months of AF (@fastfood). Included in the photos is one of me on hols for a week last year when I was on a month off and this is a holiday I would also associate with walks, freezing sea swims and roaring fire and red wine. I did all that but with hot chocolate and various treats and it wasn't just fine it was brilliant so there's a photo of me on the beach getting blown away in my inspo file. Christmas will be a challenge due to associations too and that feeling that I am depriving myself but as said above, I am now telling myself that I 'get to' have Christmas AF, which means lots of fresh morning walks on my work free mornings, lots of trying out recipes, reading and enjoying the festivities minus headaches and thinking about wine.

I reckon there must be loads of proper AF drinks we can look forward to, if we put our collective minds to it.

I made Jamie Olivers eggnog t'other day, but without the bourbon/brandy. It was totally decadent and yum.

Kombucha I love, and also plain old coca-cola feels like a massive treat

Fevertree Madagascarn Cola is lovely with a slice of lemon. Agree, Kombucba is delicious too. I bought a soda stream recently and have lovely fizzy water on tap now with no plastic guilt. I also made chai tea from scratch the other night, felt very wholesome with my fancy mug of it and my knitting