"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

Oh hangingover I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment. You have had such a lot of upheaval.

I can't join the meeting as I'm teaching but I hope you find it useful. Throw all you can at it just now. Whatever it takes.
I'll keep checking in

cartooner you sound in a really good place. So inspiring.

I am feeling better. Busy days. The great thing about what i do as work is when its busy I get to be in lots and lots of lovely nourishing classes.

Just the "no job, probably no flat, no money, no certainty about anything" stuff.

Also had a lovely walk with my friend and her baby and I felt jealous of having something so purposeful/meaningful in your life. I've never wanted DC but I really wish I did if that makes sense.

Hangingover, that sounds hard. Life can be very hard and disappointing and depressing at times. I hope your group meeting goes well, it's good to connect when feeling low.

Just checking in. Day 11. Finished the unexpected joy of being sober today and I also listed to Craig becks, Quit drinking forever. Hypnosis audio book. It was emotional, weird but brilliant. I will try to listen each day, not sure how much it will help with the drinking but it sure did make me really relaxed.

@Hangingover I'm sorry to hear that times are so tough. Did you give the meeting a try?

Thanks to whoever suggested Annie Grace's podcast, I've been dipping in all day whilst enduring a housework marathon.

@Hangingover the uncertainty of it all would get to me, too! That sounds tough.

And I know what you mean by not wanting dc, but craving the meaning of something so big.

Fingers crossed you find some work soon, I usually find it helps to focus my wayward mind😅🤞🏻

How are you doing today, @Hangingover?

Get up.
Have a shower.
Get out in daylight.

This bit was always going to be hard, coming back from the surf and sunshine into the arse end of the year, in the northern hemisphere, in a pandemic. Make yourself a timetable based on Maslow and stick to it. You need to make a big deal of taking care of yourself.

And seriously consider writing. Your style is lively and engaging, and moving, and you have got time at the moment. Your quit lit memoir would make excellent reading!

Now I will shuffle off in my slippers to find someone else to boss around.

Welcome @Cartooner, you've made a great start. I must admit my only regret about stopping is that I didn't do it years ago. I only found the quite lit and resources this year, admittedly, but you won't regret it.

@Hangingover, yep, it was always going to be a bumpy ride landing back here, mid pandemic, mid lockdown, mid winter - you could hardly have picked a tougher time but get through this and you will get through anything.

I second @Drybird2020's suggestion - I would buy your quit lit (or watch your screenplay!)...

Just to add, @Hangingover I am sure you are already aware but I was listening to an interesting podcast the other day by Elizabeth Gilbert - she has a series on creativity called Big Magic which you might enjoy...

Loving @Drybird2020’s wise words, they are very true. Hang in there @Hangingover x

hangingover how are you doing buddy? Thinking of you. Lots of people rooting for you here. (Not in the aussie sense of course 😁 that would be all kinds of wrong)

needsomethingtoread well done on 11 days. That's amazing.

I made it through another Friday night with no booze which was easy but I do have a sugar, crisp and irn-bru hangover .

Breathmillar the Saturday morning is all the sweeter. I was annoyed yesterday to find one of my kids deleted my sober tracker and other apps when I went to look for it. I had jotted down all my motivations and had records of all my previous sober stretches but just need to do another list and let it go!

Hi there, can I join please?

I’m day 509 AF and approaching my second AF Christmas. Finding this second Christmas slightly more overwhelming than last year, possibly symptomatic of the year we’ve all had.

Wow franciscross 509 days!!

What would you say are your main positives after this time?

I did 18 months a few years ago but did break it for Christmas and had 2 glasses of wine and an espresso on both Christmas day and Boxing Day. So although i have done a good length of time , i haven't done a dry Christmas yet. Can you remind yourself ( and us all ) how good it felt to get through a Christmas with that amount of willpower?

Oh.. and welcome.

@Breathmiller thanks for the welcome.

My main positive from being sober is I’m 100% present all of the time.

For me sobriety isn’t easy but it’s a hell of a lot easier than drinking. I’ve learned that for me boundaries are essential - I’m fiercely protective of my sobriety. In the early days I didn’t really put myself in situations where I would be tempted. I didn’t allow alcohol in the house (fortunately I have an amazingly supportive DP) and didn’t socialise at all. As time went by and I became more confident I eased back in to socialising. I always had a plan - set a time to leave and stick to it, be the designated driver (I was pretty popular!) and I always planned what I was going to drink.

My first sober Christmas was a revelation - for years I believed the lie that I couldn’t celebrate without something alcoholic in my hand. I researched AF drinks, splurged on fancy coffee and relished a hangover free season.

Since become sober I’ve navigated the death of a parent, my 40th Birthday and Lockdown.

Although I’m feeling a bit out of sorts I’m confident I will find my way and enjoy another sober Christmas.

@Hangingover just sending you a virtual hug and handhold. Keep on keeping on good buddy. Hope you are ok xx

Morning people.
Welcome @FrancisCross! I’m actually really looking forward to a Christmas without booze too. For the last few years I have RED (run every day) over the Christmas holidays. Nothing too ambitious, even if it was just a mile to the corner of the road and back in my sparkly dress and Christmas tree earrings😂 It’s done amazing things for my mental and physical health over Christmas, and I think this year will be even better without booze.

Hope you’re okay @Hangingover and that you managed to get outside yesterday.

Welcome @FrancisCross . Truly inspirational! And I hope I'll be here next Christmas in the same situation as you.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies yes indeed - it will be lovely to have a sober Christmas.

One of the best things about Christmas, usually, was it being 'normal' (if not totally expected) to wake up and have a Bucks Fizz. Not that I've ever been a morning drinker but permission to drink all day? Fabulous!

Except it's not, is it? It's absolutely knackering and I'm sure it's much better for everyone, all round, if I'm not sloshed making dinner and doing festivities.

Day 31 here. Halfway through an Allen Carr book. It's been a bit of a turning point this week - I've hardly thought about alcohol at all.

Although I did the 'big shop' at about 7pm which always plays a bit of a game with my brain. Seeing everyone buying all their booze on a Saturday night. Couples waking in just for wine, and big boxes of beer.

I really had to mentally give myself a good talking to. Properly analysing what I was feeling. Knowing that every craving is the 'wine witch' dying her death if I can just hold out. Playing it forward throughout the evening if I did buy wine, and also 'choosing the problem I want to have'.

And do you know what - when I played it forward in my mind, it wasn't the Saturday evening ahead that put me off. That bit sounded quite fun, to blot all my worries for a bit.

It wasn't even the rubbish sleep I'd have had last night that put me off, or the calories consumed.

It was the thought of waking up today, doing the family roast, and THINKING about wine all day. Wishing I could have a glass tonight. All my brain chemicals and neurotransmitters back on high alert.

Because that's exactly what would have happened if I'd given in last night. And I've been quite enjoying not having alcohol on my mind all day every day.

I took some comfort instead by choosing a massive bar of Fruit and Nut, and enjoying it with my tea and a film later on. A much nicer eve all round :))

Hi I've not posted since my 100 days AF. I'm now at 141 days.

I've still been lurking and it's great to see everyone keeping on going in spite of the challenges some of you are facing and focusing on what is happening or what you are 'growing' in your wider life. I'm finding you all so inspiring - and that includes those of you who have just started this journey.

I've been thinking about Xmas too this year, I'm going to have a glass of something nice and zesty that's alcohol free on Xmas day, and when we put up the tree (probably next weekend!) and just chill.

It's the thought of even having one drink and going back to thinking about alcohol every day, waking up and pondering what time would be ok to have one- it was creeping to 4pm during lockdown- how many have I had that week, and then drinking but not actually enjoying it and feeling sort of handcuffed to the sofa with the glass next to me feeling I just couldn't just say no and getting to the stage of doing it just because that's what I did.

No thank you- I am enjoying the freedom and just being 'present' as a pp put it! I was out running- or trying to!- the other morning and just as I was about dying of burning lungs I thought, imagine doing this with a bloody hangover! Impossible! So I felt good about myself in that moment.

@100percentme amazing! 🌟

Great idea on the alcohol free drink. I don't usually bother with alcohol free drinks but I remember when I've been pregnant I've always had a huge vat of alcohol free mulled wine on the go on the stove when I was decorating the tree, or Xmas morning. As it just seems like the ritual. I may give that a go again this year!

I can't remember what the best bought one was - maybe M&S?

Might make my own with a booze free red wine and spices/fruits.

I don't usually either witchwoo, It doesn't work for me to 'replace' alcoholic drink for AF one, as it just replicates a sort of drinking 'process'- iyswim.

But I just thought as it was Xmas I would treat myself to a cold drink that wasn't plain like lemonade while I was putting the tree up 😬 But not sure what yet- I'll have a look at the M&S ones you mention though!

Ooh, an AF mulled spiced drink would be lovely actually. Any recipes would be good.
I also will have an AF ginger wine I think to have when I am putting up my tree (although I don't out up my tree til about a week in advance) .
Mince pies, ginger wine or mulled wine (AF of course) a few wee Christmas songs on and putting the tree up. Sounds bliss.

Hello. May I join? I have lurked since the first thread I think. I am on Day 1.

Did 4 months AF last year. Fell off the wagon when my DDad went missing on a holiday (he was found safe by police eating icecream and feeding ducks- an episode of transient global amnesia) and have struggled to get a day AF since.

Lockdown and a very stressful new job have all meant my coping skills went a bit haywire.

I am very tired and very low and very depressed really. I need to change.

Welcome CatRed I too am a lurker usually so the experts will be here shortly to help!

Well done! The good thing is that now that you're alcohol free you can join back up these coping skills together.

The Allen carr book how to control your drinking (well stop it, really) I found brilliant and totally changed my mindset. He talks about "attractively packaged poison". Ditto re Jason vale being helpful.

I hate this phrase, but- you've got this!