"YES it is SO worth it, YES it gets easier and YES we thought it was impossible as well - its not 😊" A thread for those embracing an alcohol free existence.

[Drybird2020]

Thanks to @Ravenswick for the quote in the title 😊. We are back for thread 5, and if you are just joining us, or thinking about it, you might want to have a read through its predecessors, which are full of useful tips, sound advice, stories and cautionary tales. You will absolutely, definitely find much that resonates, and talking regularly on here is a great way to stay sane and keep yourself accountable.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3965594-Forever-Free-a-life-without-booze-2020-onwards

The only "rules" are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If you've been here for a while, you know what to do. Keep doing it! 😊

sparklinglime
Have you watched the book club with Sara Cox , it's on I-player. Its called Between the Covers.
I used to read loads when i was younger then stopped and like you I missed reading. I have a friend who is an English teacher so I got her to give me sone ideas and I started again. And I'm really enjoying reading again.

And that book club has rekindled a love affair with a good book.

It's my guilty pleasure on a Monday morning when I have some time to myself.

Sorry, just reading back and catching up with everyone.

hangingover your vegan biscuits sound amazing, sadly I take the pain in the arse to feed thing a step further and I am gluten intolerant. Good vegan and gf biscuits are sadly few and far between in my life.

Evening, lads. I feel the need for an appreciation boost after reading the wine thread (don't look) on here this evening.

We all know the big things that are good about not drinking but are there any small things you've found that you weren't expecting?

Here's mine - my nighttime routine. As in, I have one now! I actually brush my teeth at night now, and then I clean my face, put on magic face cream, wash hands in nice smelling soap, take CBD and Valerian and out on cocobutter lip balm.

My night routine used to be...drink...eat second dinner...smoke guilty fag outside in slippers...take off clothes...extra wine swig from fridge...lay awake scrolling or take codiene to fall asleep.

@Breathmiller I'm sorry for your gluten troubles I do recommend the Bournville buttons and the chocolate orange bar in particular...a few square with coffee is bloody lovely! I don't think they'd have gluten in?

Day-9. Can’t believe I’m on day 9. It’s not far compared to some of you but I’m so pleased to be on day 9 and still have no inclination to drink. I’m spending my time, whilst my girls at at school listening to sober podcasts,reading, cooking lovely meals, having hot baths, organising my house and taking the dog for walks (Unfortunately lost my job due to COVID) I would normally be rushing around, anxious and stressed out. I’m feeling very peaceful. Im onto Catherine Grays audio book now and I’m really enjoying it too. I’ve always been a book worm, hated kindles and audio books before but I’m finding sober stories helpful. Hope everyone is ok.

hangingover thanks, I'll look out for these chocolates. I love orange chocolate. Marks do a nice orange choc bar too.

I have been hiding threads that chat appreciatively about alcohol. I saw the wine one and instantly hid it. For the best I think.

needingsomethingtoread that's great to hear. 6 days is an amazing achievement. And the best thing is how aware you are about how good it makes you feel.

I have made it to day 100!! I am so chuffed. I have had the wee gold star on my diary for a while as it seemed a good goal to have when I saw other people reaching it. And I'm here! 100 days!
And like you needingsomethingtoread I feel so much better. Everything just seems easier. A few moments on the way have been challenging (Friday being my hardest so far) but for the most part it has been relatively easy. But Friday reminded me that I also need to keep vigilant.

I think at this stage before, I would have been starting to think "well, if it's so easy then surely I can moderate " but I've been there, done that and I know my life is better without alcohol. So I'm going to stick with it.

Thank you everyone for all your support.
Not-drinking is definitely better with friends.

-does 100 days happy dance-

Sorryneedsomethingtoread - 9 days. Even better!

Congratulations on your 100 days @Breathmiller, I'll join you in that dance - fantastic achievement!
Welcome @Needsomethingtoread, you are heading in the right direction, keep reading the quit lit, it made all the difference for me :-)
Hope you are now released back into the community @Hangingover? How are you finding it all?
Hope everyone is ok - must admit the dark nights and wet days are not my fave time of year but still better AF than the alternative!

Well done on 100 days @Breathmiller. That is amazing!! I hope you have treated yourself to something lovely.

I’ve not been posting as I have somewhat lost my way so shouldn’t be on the thread, but I just wanted to pop in and say well done!

Congratulations @Breathmiller - awesome work 👏
Sending love and strength to all.

Ah, well done @Breathmiller! 100 days is a whopper of a milestone. 🎉🎊🎖️🏆☕🥧

Come back soon, @iamyourequal 🙂

@Needsomethingtoread 9 days is a huge number, don't compare to where other people are at! I'm glad you're feeling good.

I'm loving The Queen's Gambit, though I'm sure that if I'd watched it last year I would have felt uneasy at the drinking scenes, because i was worried about my own alcohol issues and it would have been too close to the bone. It is relaxing to feel a mixture of sympathy and concern for the characters, without fear and dread of my own state.

@Breathmiller

Congratulations on 100 days. That’s really really brilliant. I hope your having a lovely celebratory evening.

@Ravenswick. I have my next book lined up already. Annie Graces, The Naked mind. I signed up to audible so I have even been enjoying listening while doing general day to day tasks. I even enjoyed folding the washing yesterday whilst listening, a job I normally detest.

Thanks everyone.

It really means so much to have all these little hurrahs from people who understand.

Dh came home from his first in -person work event last night with a bag of handmade vegan truffles from a lady who was presenting them. So I celebrated with two of those. And then did another well done dance that I didn't eat the whole bag.

I had a (not drink related) wobble later on though. I think everything that has gone on this year apart from the obvious keeps hitting me at different times. I heard of a family friend who's sister had advanced stage Parkinsons and Dementia has died. My mum is in a nursing home with the same conditions and i cried for her future. And, i keep having flashbacks to my son's seizures. He makes the most awful crying out strained noise when he's going into them and I keep imagining it and panicking. It's like a visceral reaction in my body. I fear for his future too.
It might be a natural timing thing after a traumatic event as dh was a mess at the weekend, he said he felt it hit him. And then our youngest has been having nightmares that his brother dies. It's obviously us all processing it through our brains and it's good we can all talk about it and support each other. It's funny because the teenager with the actual epilepsy is coping fine. Taking it in his stride and managing his meds himself really well. He is a love.

Anyway, busy days ahead so that will keep me occupied.

Some good news, in the doom, the new rules yesterday (in Scotland) mean from Tuesday i can see one of my adult daughter's again. Yay!!

Hi there, I have been lurking and would like to join. I am on day 17 after drinking crept up into a bad habit. I feel I am a bit like @worriedmutha in description - it's not a case of really drinking full bottles of wine or having big regrets so much as a bad habit. I'd normally have a half a bottle or so 3-4 nights a week. Since turning 40 I've done five months of last year not drinking and didn't drink Jan and Feb this year. I swing in and out of it but generally feel that thing of being tired of thinking about drinking, will I won't I, should I have a third, oh this will be the third night in a row, and waking up thinking I could be so much fresher today if I didn't bother with the damn wine. I have a full full on life with kids and tedium and adore that first glass of wine. However, I've read the quit lit and done the moderation circus and feel like I prefer just being teetotal. As someone here said, what am I gaining from regularly pouring toxins into myself? It would be fine if I only drank when out in a pub (rare) or the odd time.... But I'm not an odd time kind of person. I love wine with friends, with sunday dinner in my Mums. It is probably doing me absolutely no major harm except that I hate thinking about it.... .raised by an alcoholic I have a whisper on my shoulder of ah yea go on have another, soon enough you'll be polishing a whole bottle off.... and so on. There's an article I cut out years ago about a woman who stopped drinking for one month and just kept going. She was grey area type of drinking at weekends and just cut it out entirely and it was so convincing. I think this is where i am going..... the challenge for me is my pals asking what the hell? They are all easy peasy moderators and see me as the same, no one really knows the turbulence that can be going on in someone's head. I have so much I want to achieve in this lifetime and I feel like my wine habit, small enough as it is, it a block in the road.

Excuse the long message but that's me introduced!!!! I've read this entire thread by the way so hi to everyone and well done and particularly well done to those who've tripped/stumbled and kept on course despite it. That's the hardest part.

Welcome Cartooner.
So much of what you say makes sense.
And yes, to family members who have a difficult relationship themselves with booze being a voice of encouragement the wrong way.

Well done on the 17 days. Thats a great amount under your belt already.

That's the biggest gain for me, is the lack of conversation in ym head about should i shouldn't i tonight? Very freeing.

Wow "pick the problem you want to have" a great phrase that really make me stop in my tracks and think. Could be applied to loads of stuff couldn't it. De-lurks

Goodness, @Breathmiller, you truly have been through it. That all sounds so distressing. But you’ve stayed AF!! Sending hugs and a vat of hot chocolate (or whatever is your comfort of choice)

Crazy busy but just briefly appearing to say well done @Breathmiller!!! 100 days is such a big mike stone! You are amazing🤩🤩🤩

@Breathmiller absolutely amazing 🌟. I don't know about you but there was a time when I used to find 1 evening off the alcohol hard. Let alone 100+. Fantastic.

And yes - you really have been through it x

@PamelaPeaches Hi, and welcome. It's a great way of thinking, isn't it? "Pick the problem you want to have". And definitely can be applied to all areas of life. It's from Annie Grace on her podcast. I know I never stop going on about her podcasts, but so much useful life info on there.

I have my 1st Allen Carr book arriving today (I can't remember which one I ordered now). Looking forward to that as I've heard lots of good things. Day 28 here x

One reason I am doing this is parenting. It's not that I want to be this perfect unachievable mother, it's that at all, I have a house full of busy, messy, loud, happy, crying, fighting, hugging children. It's mayhem. I have a house I can't keep on top of, laundry baskets everywhere, working remotely up in the spare room. Life is so busy, when I add in the '....and relax' large glass of red with my feet up at 10pm it feels good but I KNOW it is the opposite to what my body needs. Here on day 18 of deep sleep, earlier nights, mornings with slightly more energy, no whirling evening thoughts about a glass of red, instead I'm thinking of a glass of coke and tucking into a new book.

So that's me today. Tired of thinking about drinking..... loving not thinking about drinking. Except when I'm doing my stay-with-it posting and reading here. Hope you all have a lovely day, there are blue skies where I am and I am soooooo glad it's another day without any shade of groggy from 'relaxation' last night.

@PamelaPeaches don't stay lurked, I de-lurked, pull up a chair!!

Well done on day 100 Breathmiller you saucy legend!!

Bad day here today. Still in bed and don't see that changing any time soon. Might try and do my first online SMART meeting tonight. Anyone want to come with?

@Hangingover sorry about the bad day. Could you manage maybe a really small walk? Even if it’s to the end of the road and back. It’s quite crisp and nice outside.

What’s a SMART meeting?

I think it's a bit like AA but without the higher power stuff?

smartrecovery.org.uk/online-meetings/

I figure spending time with other addicts could be helpful. I feel like I'm one piece of bad news away from failing at the moment

Oh no, what’s making you feel that way @Hangingover? Has it been hard adjusting to the U.K. again? Attending a meeting sounds like a good idea if you’re struggling. Could you treat yourself, as well? Maybe some nice creams or herbal teas, or a new book or Sweaty Betty leggings😂😂😂
Sending a big hug, it’s rough feeling rough.