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Alcohol support

Day 1 for anyone just starting out

989 replies

Justdonthavethefirstone · 02/08/2020 13:58

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

OP posts:
Ynwa12345 · 11/11/2020 13:06

Aw thanks for the shout out @writingsonthewall means a lot! And yes I would have been nearing 85 or something I think! I just got a huge wine delivery for my H wtf literally like 20 to 30 bottles of wine and champagne he said he didn't want to pay for delivery so got loads and it's for Xmas... Hmmm I am sleeping like a baby though wierd vivid dreams tho like what happened the other times I have stopped. I think the key is not to tell myself it's forever then it's more doable.
Yes that thread was nasty. I ended up just looking at just her the OP responses and it made me quite sad. A lot were saying yeah she's rude and horrible and all sorts and she said her mental health has taken a bashing as it was 12 pages of her saying she was a rude bitch for not ringing the nursery tk explain why she was bringing her Over tired 3 Yr old in late half an hour. As its a private nursery and he slept in and etc and she said toddler and everyone jumped on her to say a 3 Yr old wasn't a toddler and all sorts of spite. It was horrendous. That's why I would never post anything as my mental health would take a bashing. Hope she is OK.
Well done to you and @hazelnutmochi for 79/80 absolutely brilliant! Don't be nervous about day 90 etc you have got this far and whatever makes you feel happy you should do x

hazelnutmochi · 11/11/2020 15:29

Yep, day 80 here, 20 more to 100 and then I think around 105 will be longest without booze not including pregnancy.
Definitely take it one day at a time @Ynwa12345.
Could you set a new milestone @writingsonthewall? Say 150 days? And then keep making it longer and longer.
I think my 100 day 'treat' is going to be more PT sessions 😂 only have one left that I've paid for and want to continue. Even though I've not lost much weight (I'm still hoping it will suddenly fall off!) I feel stronger and fitter.

I looked at that thread, there were a few who backed her up luckily but I do think some people use AIBU to just be rude and use the defence, well it's AIBU what did they expect...

Hotchocolatesforeveryone · 12/11/2020 13:26

Hi everyone I am joining this thread if that's okay.

Day 3 for me today, I don't have an alcohol dependency but I have gotten into a bad habit of drinking wine in the evenings and its making me feel fat, red faced and drained....I'm sick of it. I don't drink every night but drink too much at the weekends and a few nights in the week as well. I am quite an anxious person in general and wine is making me 100times more anxious and honestly its just such a shit habit I've fallen into.....stressful day = wine. Celebrate = wine. birthdays/holidays = more wine. Its an expensive habit and gives nothing back but more stress/weight gain/anxiety. I'm done.

I'm going to have a good read through this thread and will keep checking in if thats okay.

So day 3 and I can't wait to see how I feel when I'm day 100/200 etc.

Goodluck everyone

writingsonthewall · 12/11/2020 13:51

Hi all. is everyone ok? @Sneachta @hazelnutmochi @Rupertpenrysmistress @Ynwa12345

Have we lost @joysmoy and @Newernewist and @JorisBonson?

Hope everyone is managing x

writingsonthewall · 12/11/2020 13:53

Oh hello @Hotchocolatesforeveryone I didn't spot your message there. Yes join in, numbers ebb and flow here and the more the merrier.

Well done for your day 3. Your story sounds very like all of ours so you are in very good company. I am a v anxious person too. Some days I think not drinking is helping, other days not but overall I do think it is. I am having a hugely busy time at work at the moment but just about managing to avoid total meltdown so that's good.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 14/11/2020 20:16

Hi all still here and enjoying reading all you antics. Ymna your stories always make me chuckle. Nice to see newerist writingand some new faces too hi sneatcha some good support on here. I am still sober maybe 110 days or so I don't count anyone. My DH is drunk at the moment and I was considering having one But didn't,DH is now an annoying drunk really loud music, keeps on slapping my arse. So glad I said no.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 14/11/2020 20:18

Hi hazelnut didn't mean to miss you, I am rubbish at name checking. Writings love the kitchen.

Ynwa12345 · 15/11/2020 13:44

Hi all thought I better check in as I've been quiet but unfortunately I am drinking. Not overly but still. My mum got taken into hospital Friday to A&E and got admitted. Needed blood transfusion. Lots of investigations due to loss of blood. Still happening and I can't visit. So trying to help my dad and field calls and call hospital every 5 mins. Hope everyone is OK x

writingsonthewall · 15/11/2020 18:53

Hi @Rupertpenrysmistress glad you're ok. All ok and uneventful here also.

@ynwa12345 hang in there chick. We're all here when/if you need us. You can climb back on the wagon when you feel ready.

hazelnutmochi · 16/11/2020 09:41

Oh no @Ynwa12345 so sorry to hear about your Mum. Thinking of you x

Don't worry @Rupertpenrysmistress, I'm the same! Well done on 110 days and saying no.

Welcome @Hotchocolatesforeveryone! Yep, totally relate. I thought wine was the answer to everything but it so isn't. Hope you got through the weekend OK.

Hope work quietens down @writingsonthewall and hope you're ok @Sneachta

All ok here, just catching up on I'm a celebrity and avoiding chores while dd is at pre school

Rupertpenrysmistress · 18/11/2020 21:51

ynwa how is your DM that sounds really stressful. It such an awful time especially with the lack of visiting. Hope you have had some positive news by now.

Ynwa12345 · 19/11/2020 07:56

Hi @Rupertpenrysmistress thank you for asking. She is still in hospital unfortunately not happy with her HB levels plus she got a temperature last night. Covid swabbed results not come back yet. She was diagnosed with diverticulitis/osis. They were talking about possible surgery. She wants to come home but has to wait for IV antibiotics and numerous bloods still. Hb was 89 she's anemic. But she's alone. I've been there daily it's going to be a week to drop supplies etc but everyone is busy and of course not allowed in which I understand due to covid. Just worrying haven't slept etc. But at least they are being thorough and there is a diagnosis. Thanks so much for asking. Hope everyone is OK x

Sneachta · 21/11/2020 06:53

Morning everyone checking in on day 100 and 20 something.

OH NO YMNA how is your Mam now? What an awful time. Is she ok?

I'm hearing you writing everything is a rush isnt it. Youngest said to me last week with big innocent eyes 'Mammy why are you always so fast' lol. SN son is acting the ejit and has me worn out, up at 5.30 runing around (my quiet time and time to catch up here) not going to bed anyway I'm on the mission with a new behavioural plan before all hell breaks loose. Services here are crap for this stuff, same everywhere really.

They put up a thing her last week, adopt an animal from Dublin Zoo (I quite fancied a penguin myself) sold out! They made 1 million in 1 day. Couple of pals ended up with orangutans (hmmm bit of co parenting there I suspect) anyway deadly isnt it

Welcome hotchocolate its quiet here at the moment so hopefully we can get memento going again.

Still plodding along, sober, I'm very very triggered by xmas. In a panic as there is talk of work xmas parties (not going to happen so why am I worrying? ) talk of going 'knacker drinking' as we call it in ireland (drinking outdoors) you just would not be sitting in a field with just a bottle of tonic in a brown bag for goodness sake. Anyway this is all loose chat and never going to come but I'm pissed off! If that makes sense? I'm going to have to dig very deep this year, as we all are?

My fashion sense is up my hole, it was never great. I'd love to be one of these that looks so groomed the whole time, you know effortless and perfect make up instead of worzel gummidge

Sneachta · 21/11/2020 07:04

Oh yeh I forgot about this. For anyone of you who have still drinking partners and have alcohol in the house and are still doing your days you are doing much better than me.

My DH is going 'out' tonight. Having a few outdoor pints (or 20) with pals. He hasnt drunk at all to support me. Only time I have been on my own was when he went away with the kids in August and tough as it was it was raw and I was determined.

So I've realised I have given up because of what I have to lose rather than truly needing too. I instantly thought about sneaking a bottle of wine. I wont but that temptation is STILL there because of the threat iykwim. I'm going to download some heavier reading today. Maybe alcohol explained to get it into my thick skull that drinking is bad for me :)

Seaside1234 · 22/11/2020 08:31

Hi, can I join in? Started facing up to my alcohol problems this summer and reconfiguring my relationship with the drink - I’m not aiming to give up completely, but to pretty much give up regular drinking at home. Have drunk on 5 days since beginning of September, app tells me 82 days of this new relationship with alcohol. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

My mum died on Friday (end-stage Alzheimer’s disease, but unexpected), and I’m heading to my family tomorrow. This will be the hardest thing I’ve faced semi-sober, and I’ve decided the time has come to look for a virtual support crew.

joysmoy · 22/11/2020 10:33

Hello guys I'm back. I need to rejoin you all I think. I've been drinking at weekends but last night I took it to far. I'm going to try to go af till Christmas.

joysmoy · 22/11/2020 14:17

The anxiety today is horrendous but I know it will fade. I need to stick with it this time so I don't feel like this again!

hazelnutmochi · 22/11/2020 14:27

Hi @joysmoy and welcome @Seaside1234, so sorry to read about your Mum.

I hear you re Christmas @Sneachta. Wine witch suggests I take the week of Xmas and NY off but I know it would be hard to stop drinking again fter and then I would be like I'll just drink on my birthday etc etc. I feel so much better for not drinking so not going back there. Planning on lots of lovely sweet treats for Christmas day and getting out for a lovely walk and not being hungover on boxing day! I was hungover on Xmas day last year and then drank all day, must have had about 3 bottles of wine in total. Will have lots of nice AF drinks this year.

hazelnutmochi · 22/11/2020 14:32

Oops pressed post too soon. Covid means not having to see in laws, think I would struggle AF if we did!
Hopefully reading helps, you've worked so hard to get where you are. Remember in alcohol lied to me it alcohol is just attractively packaged poison. I also get frustrated that I still get triggered and cravings but I drank for over 20 years so its going to take time to rewire the old brain.

Hope you're doing OK @Ynwa12345 and your Mum is ok.

90 days here yesterday so 90 days to you today @writingsonthewall!

Ynwa12345 · 22/11/2020 18:25

Hi all. Mum is fine thanks so much for asking. She's finally been discharged but we need to keep check on bloods etc but all good. I'm on 24 hour of not smoking I said i would stop for good if she didn't have cancer..i should prob be on another thread lol but thanks for all your support honestly means a lot @Rupertpenrysmistress*@writingsonthewall @Sneachta and @hazelnutmochi*.
Welcome back joys and welcome seaside so sorry to read about your mum. This thread has irs ups and downs too like life! Amazing pat on back and cheers for the ones who have carried it on to day 90 and beyond honestly amazing news and you have done it!!!! Xxx

writingsonthewall · 22/11/2020 19:05

Hi all, yes 90 days to me. Challenge completed, let's get shitfaced.  only kidding, don't really want one..for now at least but we'll see.

Well done @hazelnutmochi on your 90. And @Sneachta on your 120ish. Top work everyone. Not forgetting @Ynwa12345 and @joysmoy of course, every little counts even if it's not full abstinence.

@Rupertpenrysmistress hope you're good too. Not sure if you've posted lately, I get 🤷‍♀️ confused

Welcome @Seaside1234 im so very sorry to hear about your mum. That is very tough with or without booze. Try not to drink, it won't make you feel any better that's for sure, although maybe enable you to forget briefly I guess. Hang in there and post here as much as you need. The thread is quiet and busy at different times but the more you post the more everyone else will too so don't feel you can't.

writingsonthewall · 22/11/2020 19:07

Jus read back and saw your posts @Rupertpenrysmistress I hope work isn't too awful for you?

@Ynwa12345 hope you're coping ok with your mum, hope she's resting and feeling much better x

writingsonthewall · 22/11/2020 19:08

And well done on 110ish @Rupertpenrysmistress I think I need to see some drunk people to fully appreciate being sober

joy66 · 22/11/2020 19:08

Thank you all so much Smileynwa sounds like you've had a difficult time. Well done writings that's amazing and well done to everyone else!

Seaside1234 · 22/11/2020 21:25

Thanks team. Hope everyone made it through the weekend unscathed, well done 90 day-ers! I’m off to bed with the crossword #wildliving

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