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Day 1 for anyone just starting out

989 replies

Justdonthavethefirstone · 02/08/2020 13:58

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

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Ynwa12345 · 21/08/2020 15:25

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Rupertpenrysmistress · 21/08/2020 17:18

Hi new sounds like you are doing well, alcohol is a strange thing really no benefit to it but as we can see from this thread loads of us struggle with it. Well done for your 2 zoom meetings, keep going we are all here for support

Hi Ynma you have so much going on I admire you for staying sober this long, especially with a tooth ache, it's that awful relentless pain. I agree about the WFH my DH is pretty much at home all the time now since lockdown, I work as a frontline nurse so been really busy this whole time and the only one leaving the house. Kids go back to school in a couple of weeks and I really hope my DH has to go out on a job I need some me time. This is why I often stick my headphones on and have a walk on
my own listening to an audiobook.

Day 19 for me today not really sure how I feel about it, it just feels a bit meh! However my sleep is amazing, my skin is the best it has been I just want some of this amazing energy I hear about.
Well done to orchid you have been doing really well and also have alot to deal with,I really admire that, I don't really have any of the Dh/DC issues others do so, I am fortunate just to be able to get on with getting sober.

Hi Noel how are you?

Newernewist · 21/08/2020 17:35

Did anyone struggle with sleep in the 1st few days, I did read the thread from the start but cant remember everything.
Part of my drinking was to make sure I slept, I have had issues with sleep for years
I laid awake till 4am, I actually considered a drink to make me sleep.
My anxiety levels generally have massively improved last few days.
My skin looks better already.

noel66 · 21/08/2020 17:54

Doing pretty good thanks Rupert. Also day 19 for me🙂my sleep is amazing but I feel pretty tired a lot of the time atm. Maybe just years of poor sleep and anxiety catching up with me! Newer you are doing brilliantly. Keep posting and we can all support each other Smile

OrchidJewel · 22/08/2020 08:08

@Newernewist your doing so well, i was a crumbling mess, fair play to you. I had bottles/glasses everywhere in the house. My DH knew the extent to my drinking. Maybe yours in a bit of denial? I cant tell you how happy i am not drinking. No more guilt, no more 'is it too early?' do i have enough to get me locked? Where will i hide it all tonight? Will the kids see me? Ill just have 2 and put the cork back on (yeh right) DH will only think i started the red at 8! My 4 year old said to me a few months ago 'you always smell of beer Mammy' and i STILL didnt cop on I feel so bloody free.

Yeh sleep is a pain in the hole, 2 weeks it was before i woke up to my alarm. The feeling of going to bed sober, reading my kindle and zonking out knowing i was going to wake up fresh is worth the cravings. My kindle is my lifesaver for distracting me if i wake up with thoughts.

Definite improvement with my DH rupert. Slow but steady. Congrats on 19 days. It starts to fly by. You must have been stressed out to the hilt working all those months. Im not surprised you dont have energy, i wouldn't either working as hard as that, i am also waiting for it. I started a ton of vits last sat so hopefully they will kick in soon. Roll on school!!!

Hows the tooth ymna? Im in Ireland, wish i was in Scotland, my friends child went back 10th Aug, very jealous. All systems go for school next week.

Noel day 19 too [ smile]

Im off on the hunt for fever tree today and need to plan a nice dinner to look forward too. Im going to browse for some nice creams for my mush, need to start bring higher maintenance instead of a lazy sid that uses DHs manly potions!

OrchidJewel · 22/08/2020 08:22

I meant to say, i was at a very small birthday party dinner yesterday evening. 4 of us. My parents opened the wine, no issues at all. Dad left it in the kitchen (half full) issue!! I brought it into them and just plonked it on a table beside them. Dad just winked at me (in a Dad way, IYKWIM) They didn't even finish the bottle (envious) . Anyway it made me realise i am a long long way off putting myself in a pub or party situation. Unless its my close family. Couple of things coming up soon so im going to make excuses and avoid.

God im even boring myself now Grin

Ynwa12345 · 22/08/2020 10:21

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PantsToThis · 22/08/2020 12:01

Hi everyone, you all sound like you're doing amazingly! Well done!
I've not been on for a few days as I drank again on Wednesday. Felt lousy the next day of course and said "never again" but already my brain is telling me it's Saturday and why not? Ridiculous.
I just don't think I'm as strong minded as the rest of you, I'm really struggling. So basically I did 7 days, drank one day, 5 days, drank one day and now this is Day 3 for the 3rd time. I want to do 4 months like I did last year but I can't seem to get into it this time Sad
I've been reading Catherine Gray and Crain Beck to spur me on.

Newernewist · 22/08/2020 12:06

Hi everyone.
I'm really struggling to sleep, didn't get to sleep till 4am this morning.
It's really frustrating me

Newernewist · 22/08/2020 12:07

@PantsToThis, yeah ive just learnt how to tag!!
Just keep trying, its not easy x

Ynwa12345 · 22/08/2020 12:35

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Newernewist · 22/08/2020 12:42

@Ynwa1234 another successful tagging!
Yeah I'm tired, but at least it's not accompanied by a hangover.
I do normally have a nap, I have MS and fatigue is a big part of it, I didnt nap yesterday hoping it would help me sleep.
It didn't Sad
My general anxiety has improved though, massively
Ive always had sleep issues though.
I was hoping stopping alcohol would really help me.
I used to drink more if I couldnt sleep, I was very tempted about 2am but I didnt do it

Ynwa12345 · 22/08/2020 14:00

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noel66 · 22/08/2020 14:29

Well done for resisting temptation newist hopefully in time your sleep will improve. Pants don't beat yourself up about it just brush yourself off and try again 🙂ynwa I couldn't find that drink☹️but got a different one to try-the London essence elderberry and hibiscus. Well done orchid for resisting the wine!

Ynwa12345 · 23/08/2020 07:57

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OrchidJewel · 23/08/2020 08:32

Morning @PantsToThis, it is SO tough, im not strong at all its just i have the motivation as my marriage would be over and i know id be the one kicked out. I haven't even ever done 4 months ever so you know you can but you just can't at the moment. Are you happy you've cut back?

@Newernewist the sleep is the absolute killer in the beginning hang in there it really does het better. I woke at 8 this morning (unheard of) . One of my DHs pals has MS, she knows she shouldn't be drinking but she is the best craic to go out with

Im really battling with a few social events coming up. I am unreasonably angry (in my head) as 1 group of girls (work) are arranging it around me as im the only one with kids, so its a very local.pub. i dont want to tell them, not ready for that and im definitely not ready for a pub, at all.

Fair play @noel66 and @ymna

PantsToThis · 23/08/2020 15:30

I do feel better for cutting back @Orchid, more in control. I don't feel better physically though, at all. I've never been so exhausted. I need to keep going, I know I can do it.
Do you think you can make an excuse and cancel the work drinks? Sounds like it's too soon for you and making you anxious and angry already. Could you say you don't feel comfortable meeting up because if COVID? Every book I've read about sobriety says don't force yourself into social situations before you're ready. I'm lucky, I don't have anything planned at the moment. Swerved 2 social events recently because of the bad weather and they were socially distanced garden things, phew!
Hello to everyone else 👋

Ynwa12345 · 23/08/2020 17:43

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Newernewist · 23/08/2020 18:31

Hi everyone, well I'm shattered, didn't get to sleep till 5am again last night.
Got a AA zoom meeting in an hour.
Told my closest friend last night, she was glad I told her.
I'm also worried about telling people I dont drink anymore, I'm known as liking a drink.
I'm so tired, but I know I wont be able to sleep.
Hopefully it will return soon because I cant function like this
But 5 days in, surprisingly doing ok

Stillseparatedat41 · 23/08/2020 21:21

Can I join?

I have a set a date of September 1st for my sober journey!! I'm scared and not looking forward to but boy am I looking forward to the benefits. Alcohol has been too much of a focus for too long.

Stillseparatedat41 · 23/08/2020 21:23

For those people who said it's difficult around friends, I understand completely but remember the quote: 'those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.' Be strong. Be individual. Be YOSELF!

Orchidaceae · 24/08/2020 06:21

Morning everyone, new user name as I got a new phone and it didn't transfer everything over. I'll see how this works lol

Orchidaceae · 24/08/2020 06:38

Welcome @Stillseparatedat41 have you ever given up before? I hadn't so I'm delighted with myself. Have you a plan of action? It's like a new life, no more wondering when I can open a bottle (or 2 or 3) and lying to myself and feeling like shite every day.

Thanks for all the tips and excuses. What a pal she is YMNA, how shallow. Like you Newernewist id be well known for not refusing a drinking session, I think they would collapse if I wasn't (none of them have kids so they are party animals but can put a lid on it) . It's tough the lack of sleep. I presume you can drop off but then wide awake? Bloody irritating. I started taking magnesium. It's so great your day 5, a lovely proud (secretly) feeling

Well another weekend sober. Noel and pants are you on 3rd weekend?

I got my bag ymna, good old Dunnes Stores, 20 quid. (Last of the big spenders) Tan, square small job, perfect. My DHs manbag is bigger Smile

I haven't actually read anymore books as I found Craig Becks one so powerful for me that I don't want to hear any contradictions if that makes sense.

We shall all keep going in this fresher more positive world

Ynwa12345 · 24/08/2020 07:16

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Orchidaceae · 24/08/2020 07:38

Ymna Why thank you very much for liking my bag lol. It's my 5th weekend. Congrats on your 1st. I felt my first was the biggest achievement ever

Meant to tell you I started a book 'calmer, easier, happier parenting as suggested in another thread. Its mentioning your kids good behaviour instead of giving out. (Very rare they aren't bold here) But you can't use superlatives. For example 7 year old was sitting watching a film quietly (for a change) so I swooped in with "wow your sitting watching the film so nicely, that's very grown up, it makes Mammy and Daddy very happy'. Said 2 or 3 things like this throughout an hour and DH piped up 'why are you being fuckin weird' lol followed by a chorus from the kids 'yeh Mom your very very weird today'Grin. ANYWAY 7 year old put his dishes in the dishwasher without being asked!!! Think this ridiculous way might just work. I will start on 4 year old today 'you didn't kick anyone up the hole today, fair play to you, very mature ' Grin