Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Can I join? Day two for me here.

Hi @SophoclesTheFox, it's good to see you again! I'm feeling similar to you, my mindset has shifted and I no longer feel that a drink would help, or even be a pleasant experience.

Welcome @comfortablynumb1 and congratulations on starting the journey.

Just checking in to say well done all 🤩🤩🤩 and that I’m still sober! And feeling good about it!

I have saved a whopping £218 pounds in 46 days (that’s really shameful when I write it down) and this weekend I am going to spend it on nice things FOR ME!😍🤩😍

How lovely, Bunnies! What are you going to buy? I’m also horrified by how much I spent on alcohol. That’s where denial came into it for me - money spent on wine simply didn’t count, somehow...

Wow! That's a lot of money @BunniesBunniesBunnies when you put it like that.... I've never added it up before but just one (non expensive) bottle of wine a day would be that at least.

Day 4 and starting to struggle but not cracked. I'm just eating so much! Need a new hobby!

The app tells me I have saved £964 in 150 days. That's so much money. And we're really not well off. I'm ashamed of my former self.

I’m also pushing £1000 saved, @Drybird2020. I have no words tbh

Morning everyone! Those savings are remarkable aren't they? There was always a way of justifying it in your head of spending it at the time but added up like that - woah!

Enjoy spending it on something longer lasting @BunniesBunniesBunnies! Another reward to reap in the months ahead.

I've had a crazy week with work. My boss - who I am taking over from - hasn't been well for the past couple of weeks and ended up in hospital overnight. She's out now and messaged me last night to say she's feeling better. I've been so worried about her. She's such a lovely person and so kind and thoughtful and she's one of these people that make a real difference to your day. I really don't know why she's been so ill but it's made all the more complicated with the fact that I'm standing in for her as of next week. That parts all up in the air, which is absolutely fine, but it's been quite a difficult situation to handle, the sort that would have seen me reaching for a stiff drink to deal with.

I think not drinking is equipping me far better to deal when things aren't going to plan. I sat out in the garden last night with a cup of tea and it was so relaxing. If this was a year ago I'd have finished a bottle of rose by half past 6 and be sleeping for 8, woken up at 1am and feeling the affects for the rest of the day.

Ulysses what you have described cements how much can be achieved without drinking. It is madness how much we are prepared to give up for drinking without even thinking about it. The money and calories is something I just ignored like it didn't count somehow 🤣.

Waking up without a hangover even on a bad day is so much easier. I love hearing everyone's stories especially the vivid reminder of the 3am wake ups, sweating and anxious, running over what I had said and how much I had drunk.

Also I seem to have so much more time now. Have a great day everyone.

The further I get from them, the more important I find it is to hold onto the crappy memories of 3am paranoia and guilt-ridden, crappy mornings. That's why I still read so much quit lit.

Seems like I'm in a pink cloud phase at last. Even with everything going crazy in the world I'm relentlessly upbeat. And I'm noticing how positively my attitude affects the whole family. Long may it last!

@Ulysses it sounds like you are smashing it. Your boss must be very glad to have you to hand things over to.

Does anyone know of an app that counts dry days, money saved as well as calories saved?
I can only find apps that count dry days and money saved.

@Oneearringlost Try Dry does those things. 😊

morning, checking in x

Thanks @Drybird2020 - it's been a crazy week and I've had to take on her responsibilities fairly quickly and without an official handover. Fortunately, I work with a great team but I do feel like I've added in a few more plates to spin. This has been such a ridiculous year though! The shocks keep coming.

I am going to try and resume C25K and start at week 4 to manage the stresses of it all and give me a goal to work towards. I managed a 10 minute run the other day without stopping and then got a stitch so think I need to be a bit more systematic in my approach. I am full of excuses though and today's might be that it's too hot!

Keep well everyone.

Morning!

Day 6 here! Made it through a Friday night! . I did think about drinking last night, but was more due to habit/boredom than it was a real craving. Whilst I'm determined and motivated it's easy..... it's when my head starts telling me "you've proved you don't need it" or "everyone else drinks" or "just have one or two" that I know I will struggle. Will cross that bridge when I come to it! For now I'm still feeling positive and determined.

And I slept well last night.

Have great days everyone xx

Thank you Drybird!

Afternoon!

I was feeling triggered with all this sunshine so reminded myself that with my AF savings I could go and buy treaty things at our local organic farm shop.

There was a 20 minute wait to get in as they only allowed 5 in the shop at a time. Then a married couple went in instead of one of them waiitng outside and there were murmurings of discontent from those waiting because they were taking up two spaces inside the shop when only buying for one hosuehold. It was like experiencing a very genteel riot.

I treated myself to white peaches among some lovely gorgeous fresh meat and fish. a MUCH better use of my money than booze!

Ooh, I love white peaches @GreenTeaMug.

We have started having afternoon tea at the weekend, which is a better alternative than boozing all afternoon.

I love afternoon tea. It feels so special and treaty. What a great idea!

Hi, this thread is great. I’ve tried moderating and it doesn’t work for me. I’ve been doing well and just had a slip up which makes me even more determined. I’ve really enjoyed the Catherine Gray audiobook, has anyone tried the journal version of her book and have thoughts about whether it’s worth it or not?

Hey all and great work for staying sober in the sun🤩 It will be seven weeks for me tomorrow😱😱😱 And I’ve just ordered myself an amazing new pair of trousers to treat myself with the money saved.

Major benefits right now:

No hangovers.
Lots of patience.
Feeling good about having self control.
Great skin (finally!!!).

Keep going everyone!

Day 33 of my current 'streak' and it's definitely getting easier. I'm not thinking about 'it' nearly as much. It undoubtedly helps that I'm on duty so can't drink even if I wanted to so the real test will be when I'm not on call (I think I have another 3 or 4 weeks to go)

Because I've been on duty for the last 5 weeks in the evening not only have I saved the money I would have spent on alcohol I've also earned absolutely loads so tonight I've ordered lots of things from Boden and yesterday treated myself to a load of new underwear. I'm going to get more pleasure with these purchase than I would with a few bottles of fermented grape.

How's everyone else doing? Any plans on what to do to treat yourselves with the savings?

Love the idea of buying posh nosh from the organic farm shop.

I'm finally sleeping better too. I think getting in during the small hours of the morning has affected my sleep but even with that to contend with I'm definitely getting a better quality sleep and therefore surviving on less than I would normally need.

Oh, and just to top it all off I've lost 7lbs.

In a good place.

Wow well done @myhandsareverycold, on the streak and the savings! And YES it’s so nice to treat yourself! After the trousers I went on to buy myself a new bikini too!😊😊😊 (I have also lost some weight!).

My next investment is going to be a nice coffee maker!

It's great to hear about these winning streaks, epicurian delights and afternoon teas.

@Cyllie33 I read the Catherine Grey book, along with lots of other quit lit. Annie Grace and Clare Pooley are also good.

Morning all. This is a GREAT day to be sober. :)

I am re-reading caroline Knapp's 'Drinking, A love Story'.

I also like Ann Dowsett Johnson's book about women and alcohol- she provides a really good analysis of how alcohol companies market alcohol to women.

I am about to take my elderly arthritic dog to our nearest forest for her to have a 'walk' (more a stop and sniff).