Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

I’m okay @Teetotallyimperfect, thanks. Sometimes having too much time on my hands is not a good thing. It’s amazing how long the evenings are when you’re sober. Could do with a hobby of some kind when things get back to normal. I might look into doing an online course.
How is everyone? How are you doing @Haggisfish? You are so right @randomer, alcohol is not helpful at the best of times. Hope you are okay.

hugs everyone I’ve had a couple of decent pain free days tonight in utter agony again, Drs appointment next week I’ve had enough one codeine tablet not even touched it, glad I’m sober hang in there everyone.

Does anybody struggle with day 4? I don't know why , I can never get past it.

Holothane, nobody should be in agony. Is there no help available?

I keep getting told it will wear off I’ve kept a diary.

I struggle with alcohol. I have recently found ‘The Sober School’ on the internet. It is for women who have alcohol problems and is run by a very informed and warm lady called Kate B.
I think it is a very good website.

I've not been posting in this thread recently, I joined in when I was a couple of days into an attempt at being alcohol free, after trying to reduce and finding that tiresome (the always thinking about drinking stuff). Just wanted to check in as somehow I'm at 37 days now without any inkling to drink!
I felt that lockdown made things harder initially but now I'm in a routine it's felt easier as there's fewer opportunities as long as I don't buy it - im fully prepared to be challenged when pubs are open and people want to meet up for a pint. I also had a couple of days back in the office and one of those was stressful, it caught me by surprise that as soon as I got in the car to head home I had a craving to pick up a bottle on the way - I say it surprised me because I hadn't been wanting alcohol when stressed at home, but there was a definite association with the commute/leaving the office which I need to be careful of.

I'm almost embarrassed to write this but one thing that was surprisingly different this time is that I had occasionally kept a diary with motivations/track of drinking and triggers. One day DH was looking for a scrap of paper and saw it and picked it up to flick through it for some paper and I saw him starting to read it. I was so mortified - he wouldn't think I have any need for concern, and I drink less than he does. He didn't say anything just apologised for picking it up saying he didn't realise. We didn't speak of it, but noticeably he stopped offering me drinks after that. It was only a subtle change as he didn't push me to drink before but I think from that it was just silently understood that I wasn't going to be a drinking partner anymore, and I stopped feeling any pressure to fulfil that role in our relationship. I do think that is actually the biggest reason why I've been able to 'crack it' this time. I'd recommend if anyone is drinking with their OHs in lockdown its something to consider, though perhaps with an honest conversation rather than reading notes!

@Holothane how are you doing with the pain issue, any improvement?

@sembolina I haven't come across that one, how are you finding it?

I get days with very little I’m ok then but today since five it’s been dull dragging pain, yes I’m telling dr on Thursday phone call appointment.

Hi threeflyingducks,
I am 22 days into sobriety, and am finding the videos from the sober school helpful. There is a 6 week course on there that you can do, but you probably have to pay for this, so I'm not doing it. (!). I don't know if I will drink again, but going alcohol free for a couple of months to begin with is the plan.
A word re: partners
My partner did not understand fully that I had a drinking problem & would always say ' Why don't you just have 1 or 2 glasses of wine? ' Except I can't. He didn't see me sneaking extra mini bottles or a double shot of Baileys here and there. My drinking got worse in lockdown. However, this time trying to stop drinking I actually told my partner that I wasn't going to drink anything, and he is on board with this. It's a relief not having to find the next glass and the next glass...better not to have any. Oh, and I had terrible cravings for alcohol for about the first 10 days.

Hi there,

I hope I can join this thread, I really need some support. I started drinking heavily in my teenage years, had a nervous breakdown (not purely alcohol related) at the age of 21 and haven't ever really dealt with that (I'm 50 now). I'm married but my marriage is hanging by a thread and I have a gorgeous daughter but I'm so worried I'm going to lose everything. My husband is growing more and more tired of it all (understandably) and I feel very lonely. I've always been a bit of a party gal but I'm not laughing anymore and looking back, I haven't laughed a great deal in a while. My drinking is impacting my life massively, I have attended a support group in the past but I just felt so embarrassed to be there. I'm so worried I'm going to lose everything but I just can't seem to stop. Any help much appreciated, thank you!

Hello there Little, its insidious stuff alright. Don't make any rash promises you can't keep, just try little by little to cut back? Have less in the house, go longer without, replace with other things. Chip away at it.

Thanks so much for the advice!

Day 73 for me! Phew.
Haven't posted for a while because I have managed pretty well. Have had drinks on 3 occasions when we have distance scialised. So not perfect but I am not finding it too hard. Surprising as I have never managed before but lately the wine sent me to sleep rather than geeing me up.
Is there something you could do in the evenings Littlek74 to give you an incentive to stay sober?

Hugs to everyone waves at newbies all welcome here, no drink for me thank god, for those who know, still keeping diary told Gp I’ve had enough now last agony again, got codeine to last six months one in dire emergency, Gp very understanding, gave me number to gynies office should have had scan three months ago but Covid put that on hold. Phoned and was told only one clinic, gynies shielding then away for holiday for three weeks, secretary did say if pain got too bad a and e, I’d be embarrassed to do that, sorry for long post. .

Sorry meant to say last night.

Welcome to the thread Sembolina & Littlek74. Sembolina I think Kate Bee is good too but the 6 week course is about £400 I think, which is not an insignificant sum I thought.
Littlek74 have you tried a month off alcohol or any significant dry spells? I ask as, if you are at the stage where things are really bad and effecting your relationships, I would imagine you have probably already tried moderating your drinking and it’s failed. Have you read any of the quit lit ? Especially Annie Grace? There is a good case set out that it’s really best to try and take a clean break from alcohol for at least 30days, but preferably longer. She does a free 30 day online experiment and it’s very helpful, as are Allan Carr (book) Kate Bee (website- sober school), Clare Pooley and others. I know different things work for different people, but I have found deciding on a 30day dry trial and then completely immersing in everything to do with sobriety is really helpful. Good luck.

What a shame you still aren’t making progress Holothane, are you hoping for an operation to end all the pain? I really feel for you.

I want a hysterectomy now come September I’ll have had two years of polyps, fibroid and pain like the devil, dull dragging pain or clutching pain.

Feel for you @Holothane. Another byproduct of this hideous Covid, people not being seen when they should.

I have had one bad day ( alcohol) in the last week. That is a big victory for me. I plod on, fortified by Downtown Abbey! What a load of rubbish it is really ,but it occupies me and doesn't come with a hangover and a foul mood the next day.

You do whatever keeps you going, I love medical stuff or history series like the tudors.

How are we all doing? I’m on day 1 again. I have managed at least two af days a week for the last two months though which I’m chuffed about. Hope everyone is ok.

Hi Haggisfish,
I'm ok. Still not drinking, although my friend suggested having wine in the garden in the summer holidays. We've always drunk wine together, but I'm going to swerve it this time...I hope. Keep going x

Bleurgh! driven to distraction by moping husband and gloom, I drank loads at the weekend.

Guess what? the situation was entirely unchanged and I had a massive hangover.

Hugs everyone hang in there,

Hi all!
Hope you're all doing ok, @Holothane, hope you're feeling better, long term pain is awful. I've been dealing with a fibromyalgia flare-up for a couple of weeks, which has exhausted me, but fingers crossed today was much better.
@randomer, I so understand - I used to drink to make the shit situations improve, and they just made them worse.

I'm still sober, jogging along with it all.

Love to all
Sx

Hi waves still sober thank god, my arthritis has been hell this week, women’s problems still painfull at times you just live with it, hugs everyone.