Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

@ulysess that all sounds so positive. So satisfying achieving so much in a weekend. I got a couple of short walks in last week and a big one today. Feels so good.

Well done everyone, still loving reading everyone's up-dates. Totally and utterly agree about having quite a few day 1's. It doesn't matter - the important work is done in all the learning and experimenting I think. Definitely keep posting on here and be kind to yourselves.

I'm still currently in the stages of experimenting, and am feeling really good about it. I just don't feel the need to drink at all, and my mindset has completely changed after reading quit-lit and really noticing how it feels.

The other day I had one drink, just to test. I keep wondering if the golden buzz of the first 30 mins that I used to experience in my youth, will come back after a break. Well no it doesn't. What's more I am really noticing how much I just DONT enjoy that feeling of fuzziness - as though I could easily blurt out something that's not 'me', and as though I can't concentrate properly. I also noticed that I felt angry about something small whilst feeling the effects of the drink. It really is amazing how much calmer I am when not drinking.

I am loving all this. It's making me really not want to drink again.

I'm still struggling with how to explain it away to people. The other day I said to someone who focussed in on it - "I'm just having longer breaks between drinks". I dunno. Need to give it some more thought.

By the way, I'm really intrigued by the long term sober posters - those sober for over a year and longer. Can you tell us more about it? How have your lives changed for the better?

How do you explain it to people? Wish I knew some more people like you in real life!

Hit a bloody great wall today. I'm still sober and drinking cranberry juice tonight but the urge to drink was strong.

It doesn't help my DH doesn't understand how hard this is. I tried to explain that the thought that I can never drink again us scary. I'm another at some point is going to have to explain why I'm not drinking. No one seems to understand I can never go back, moderation is not something I can do so it's a total sober life.

I'm too old to use the pregnancy excuse, I can't be on antibiotics all the time and frankly bring the designated driver doesn't work when you're only going to the local.

How did everyone get over this?

Just checking in, about to have an early night as still not 100%.

foxes my strategy is to fake it till I make it. I've cited dry January, with February as a continuation, now it's Lent. Eventually I'll probably say I'm enjoying being alcohol free and sticking with it for now. I don't know if I'll ever come out with an announcement about being dry forever, I'll see how it goes.

Well done for getting through it, @Foxes157. I think it’s increasingly normalised to be ‘giving alcohol a break’, in a health kick/clean living type way? But unsupportive partners are another matter. That’s hard. Has he read any articles etc that really lay it on the line?

Hope you feel better v soon, @Drybird2020

Well done getting through a rough day Foxes. Mondays can be a challenge!
I’m just checking in, day 12 here and feeling very positive about it today. So pleased I resisted DH trying to knock me off the wagon at the weekend. Work is so much easier on a Monday without feeling tired and cloudy-headed. I actually love going to bed and falling asleep sober, with make up off and properly cleansed and moisturised. Sometimes it’s the silly wee gains that surprise you.
I’m not going to tell any fibs about why I’ve stopped drinking in future. I’ve stopped now for Lent, but if people ask after this, i am going to say I think its bad for my health and I’m better staying away from it for a healthier life and leave it like that. I’m not going to get pulled into discussing how much or how often I drank as it’s nobody’s business but mine. I’m going to stay strong! Have a good week everyone.

Foxes157 hope you're ok and well done for resisting. My husband is really please I've stopped and think he knows I mean it this time, so to speak. He said the other day, well never say never because how realistic is it to say you'll never drink again? I asked him not to give me an out, and if I was able to moderate I'd have already been able to do so years ago. It's alright for him, he can drink one drink twice a week, or go to the pub once a month for 3 pints and that's it. So since that conversation he's been quite supportive.
iamyourequal it's only a week in for me but I've been enjoying going to bed early too, particularly enjoying making sure done all my skin care too. Haven't been doing it at night before and have noticed a real difference.
I've made 7 nights Wich is a miracle for me 🙈
Yesterday was the first time drinking didn't cross my mind. I know it won't always be that way but a bug break through for me. Feel different this time trying as basically got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

Good on you smashing your first week jess3817! I’m finding things easier too alcohol wise, much easier mid-week than weekend of course. It’s the diet that’s causing me grief but I know that will be worth it in the end too. How is everyone else doing tonight?

I'm not missing alcohol at all at the moment, I did have a brief thought about a night out that's coming up and then remembered I don't ever need to have dramas about how to get home, or making a tit of myself through being pissed, or feeling awful the next day. It was a very freeing thought.

jess well done on achieving the first week, and I'm glad your DH is on board. Mine now seems to think I mean it, but he can hardly be blamed for scepticism when I've claimed to be stopping or cutting down so many times before. I have been talking to him about it on and off, in small doses. He's the only person to whom I feel I owe an explanation for what I'm doing, and he is supportive.

That's good, Dry, and makes sense.

I also have that feeling of freedom around social activities at the moment. Feels good.

All happy with my AF lifestyle at the moment. Got a bit of anxiety yesterday and today, but am sure it would be much worse if I was drinking with it

Four weeks to the end of lent and 100 days for those who started at new year! Breaking it into chunks with short-term goals really helps me.
I’ve never been a person on a ‘change your life’ type of thread who has actually achieved a goal, so this is very nice and new for me!

Checking in, have got stuff going on but doing it all sober. Day 79. Alcohol is really becoming a distant 'thing', not craving or spending much time thinking about it apart from the sober days racking up.

Stuff just goes on, doesn't it. Drinking only hid it for a bit and then made it worse straight afterwards.

I'm on day 72, also looking forward to the 100 day mark.

Life does just go on @Drybird2020, I'm amazed at how much of my pre sober days were taken up being totally occupied with thinking about booze, and drinking it.
It's a fucking relief to get that monkey off my back. I've got so much headspace back to fill with things that aren't rotting my head/liver/relationships/bank account et al.

Have a good rest of the week all, keep on keeping on!

The grimness of the news would have seen me regularly reaching for the wine at night. My anxiety is through the roof at the moment thinking about the impact of you-know-what but I'm using other resources such as running and swimming (though maybe not that for much longer) to escape from it.

Yes, howis, that's exactly right. I've freed up so much headspace by not constantly trying and failing to keep the drink monkey under control. Yet I'm as busy as ever. I can see now how much more stress I was giving myself to deal with. I think I'm managing things better now although it doesn't always feel like it.

Ulysses I know! It's massively anxiety inducing. Have some totally inadequate and and

I note that Catherine Gray is promoting Sober Spring - 93 days of sober living, 20th March until 20th June. Worth a go if you want to start your sober journey now. I'm crap at links but it is googlable! I've signed up as it's a few extra months support, it all helps.

alcoholchange.org.uk/get-involved/campaigns/sober-spring/what-is-sober-spring/sober-spring-faqs

Here we go. It's from the same people as Dry January. I think a 93 day period of abstinence is more likely to help people, from all the quit lit I've been reading I now understand that a month isn't enough to alter established neural pathways, which explains why it never worked for me - I would always treat it like a race to the end, with a bucket of wine as the prize.

Also Sober Spring will work as an excuse if I still feel I need one, by the end of it I'll be past the six month mark and maybe won't need excuses any more. 😊

Thanks for doing the linky @Drybird2020! I'm aiming for 20th June as planning on hiking a mountain that week during my holiday absolutely no way could I do it hungover . My next 'little' goal.

Thanks for the link. I might do it too. Feeling rather weak this evening. DS unwell, horribly stressful and busy work week and running out of motivation to stay dry at times like this . Would truly love a wine but I won’t. I hope everyone else is staying stronger than me. I reckon if it wasn’t Lent I would have caved tonight and had a drink .

BTW I am not very holy, just stubborn I think!

Staying strong and refuse to cave in.
Difficult though when all I'm seeing on facebook is everyone drinking and using corona virus doom and gloom as an excuse.

Jess I recommend going back to reading some quit lit. I'm not having to use willpower at all and it's because I have educated myself sufficiently. It's exhausting to keep up with using willpower, I wouldn't be able to do it for this duration.

Today I am happy to be sober in this messy world.

Thanks :-) I will look some up.