Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

I’m really not feeling any benefits - anxiety, low-mood, tiredness etc all no better. I don’t even sleep any better. I obviously need to make further changes, but I am disappointed. Day 65. Still want to get to 100.

I was up early today sorting out animals and kids before going to some friends for the day, I'll do the same tomorrow. I'm loving that I get so much more out of my weekends now.

Sorry you're feeling low, @Ulysses and @SparklingLime (only just caught up with new posts, apologies). I felt like that all through January and the first bit of February. Can you distract yourselves with a film for the next two hours and then have an early night? Then you've made it through another day.

I'm just back from a swim @drybird2020 . Feeling better that I've gotten off my backside and done something. I've a tendency to wallowing so I think I've given myself a boost by acting against it.

I really need to break my social media addiction as well as endless scrolling on the sofa doesn't help. However, baby steps! A film seems like a good idea. I'm going to put my phone and laptop away now too and my Domino's delivery is coming soon.

I'm feeling a bit more optimistic that I'll get more out of Sunday and there's not a whiff of any desire for alcohol.

Thanks - it really helps getting down here on this thread.

Can I join please? Been lurking for a while. Last year I stopped drinking for 2 months. Then fell off the waggon at the end of last year. Drink one bottle of wine a night. Have done for a long time.
Until Tuesday this week - I didn't drink as had to do a training walk of 26.5 miles wednesday and thought it'd help not to drink. Wednesday I was to tired to drink and Thursday I felt to rough to want to. Stayed off it last night and talked myself out of it tonight.
Actually feel scared of drinking again as had been feeling like Shite lately 😂 but not saying I won't drink again as can never seem to not ever drink, wich is a problem.
Have only recently acknowledged this is a bit of a problem and most people don't drink every night.
However - I don't remember feeling this dog tired last time I stopped. 5 days in did anyone else feel really groggy and tired on and off during the day? Yesterday I felt like I'd Been hit by a bus.

Welcome, @Jess3817. I was similar - a bottle a night. Not healthy! Could the exercise plus no alcohol together knock you out a bit, or are you used to that level of activity?

Thanks, @Drybird2020. No real desire to drink, so that’s another day done. I think my keto diet is making me feel a bit shite tbh. May have to change it a bit.

Oh goodness, @Ulysses, I am utterly attached to my phone since going AF. It’s too much. Wish I could get past needing ‘something’ external to distract me from myself (alcohol, comfort eating, SM... ).

@SparklingLime it probably could be. I usually run 3 times a week but I'm training for charity walking event in may - 100k- so every 2 weeks I'm doing 1 run, 2 short walks and 1 long walk. That's was she longest I've done so far and decided to leave 3 weeks until the next one as cant waste nearly 3 days next time feeling as bad as I did. Could be the giving up the wine too.
Also never known to wriggle so much in bed at night before 😁

Jess - welcome! Tiredness in the first week or so was something a lot of us on here experienced, I think. Feeling the need to nap in the day, headaches... All of that is totally normal

Jess, I definitely struggled with sleeping and tiredness in the first week but it's improved a lot.

Day 15 here, and Mrs fox prior to being an alcoholic is starting to re-emerge. I'm starting to remember that life as a sober person is better. I've had a such a productive weekend. 2 gym trips, starting to deep clean the house, went shopping, seen relatives and went out last night rather than hanging on the sofa

But I didn't enjoy going out, felt a little flat, watching everyone getting merry while I nursed a diet coke. I was a bit maudling to my DH and moaned why I was the chosen one that couldn't me a normal drinker.

Anyway I didn't drink, slept well, was hangover free and fit to drive this morning. Silver linings and all that.

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend.

@SparklingLime apologies if I've missed it, how long have you been dry for? Keto + no alcohol is a very strict diet if you're someone who likes sugar and/or isn't a large volume eater. Are you doing it time limited or long term? I have a few male friends who do well on it but that's because they are very happy eating a lot of meat and dairy on it, I never did keto but when I did low carb I struggled to get enough food in it just wasn't appetising enough.

@jess3817 if you're doing endurance stuff make sure you're getting enough food, I try and do a fair bit of exercise and I don't like to think how much of my calories came either from alcohol/mixers or hangover food!

I watched a fab film last night, bought myself some crushed ice and fresh time to go with Tesco low alcohol g&t. Didn't feel I was missing out when DH was making drinks. Was out at a class first thing and have that nice post exercise tiredness which is much nicer than my usual Sunday back to work dread.

@Ulysses are you much of a reader? I've started keeping my Kindle next to the sofa and try and switch to that instead of my phone if it's more than ten minutes. Doesn't have to be anything heavy going but it feels better than scrolling (at least gets me away from notifications)

I’m on day 66 AF, @Threeflyingducks. I agree, I don’t think keto is working for me, I’m going to switch to more moderate low carb. I don’t think I could call myself a low-volume eater! But I’m not quite sure what it means?!

For anyone needing distraction and soothing, I find audio books so helpful.

@sparklinglime I don't think there's particular definitions! But my friends who are happy on keto will eat platefuls of food - meat + veg is pretty low calorie so you have to eat a lot/large portions to get enough calories/energy. When I tried eating low carb I felt really low on energy, and when I tried tracking my food (including weighing it) I found my breakfast + lunch + snacks added up typically to less than 800 calories - no wonder I was exhausted by the time I finished work. I was really surprised. My portion sizes were what I'd usually eat and I struggled to add more (only because it was keto, it's much less appetising to eat lots of meat when you can't have stodgy food to go with it)

Thanks for the advice :-) good to know he tiredness is normal.
@Threeflyingducks I have been wondering that tbh, dread to think really🙈 I'm vegan as well so should probably think about it a bit more properly too.
Just hating the time between 430 and 630, as am doing everything I can to talk myself into drinking and why it'd be fine to do so. After that time, particularly once I've got to 8pm I'm fine. Been distracting myself by going for a bath at 615

Ah, see what you mean, Three. My appetite has reduced a lot. Although the fat boosts my calorie count. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@jess3817 I know it's not the same thing, but my DH is a cycling nut who follows GCN on YouTube - they're doing a plant based vegan series of recipes that are designed for cyclists (obv) but I've found them useful for ideas for eating to sustain exercise. I'm not vegan but these days I try to have a few days a week of no meat or dairy. What I like about their videos compared to most vegan recipe sites is they are clearly designed for people who aren't cooks and aren't likely to be going to specialist shops so they are very practical recipes. Nothing too exciting or revolutionary on there but some good basics with a focus on energy levels.

I like the 6.15 bathtime idea. I started doing cross stitch occasionally, rock n roll!

What a great thread! And so much brilliant progress.

I started with dry January, did sober spring (100 days) and then here I am, entering my third year of no booze.

I was a real booze hound before so this has been a massive change..hugely for the better. I am so glad I don't have to drink any more.

To everyone struggling, it does get better I promise. In fact it is completely life changing!

Jess, that period does drag. I've been doing a gym class in that time to get over the boredom or I've headed out to the clothes shops for a nosey around. Last 2 nights it's been bath time. I'm another one that has the Kindle next to me.

I've already decided on the cinema next weekend to while away the time.

Ooh thanks I'll have a look on you tube for that!
3 years?! That's amazing I hope to get to that point one day.
I'm having to look for things to do at home as have four kidies and my husband is out at that point in the day, when the weather gets better and days longer, I can take them out on their bikes or over the field with the football/ Frisbee etc wich will be good

How about getting the family involved in baking or playing board games/ cards.

I'm not sure where the nearest park to you is but wrapping them up and let them burn off energy regardless. It's light enough to be out for an hour or so.

I'm quite lucky my kids are older and mostly past the baby sitting age so I can go out on a whim more

Oh yes, the fatigue was tough to begin with. I had lots of early nights with my kindle.

The lighter evenings are certainly making life easier with the kids, it's great not to feel so cooped up.

Just popping in to wave, and say sorry that I so rudely ignored the shoutouts from Pamela, Ulysses, drybird and pasta last weekend I’m rotten at keeping up!

Still no alcohol though, day...um 66? Or 67? Something that was previously vastly impossible, anyway

Keep on, you fabulous lot. You’re doing great.

I love reading @SparklingLime and spent yesterday afternoon on my Kindle whilst 8yo was having an epic nap on the sofa after her sleepover party - it was bliss! She's at the age where I can leave her with her big sister (14yo) for bits of time but still quite needy for company. DH isn't around a lot and he has his own business so is alway's 'on' for that. I am too looking forward to getting out in the better weather.

Yesterday was a better day all round. I went for a 30 minutes run in the morning - I'm on the last week of Couch to 5K, spent a few hours reading and did some sewing in the evening. I went on the scales this morning and my weight is finally going down after a month of heading back up the way. I've lost 11 pounds since new year and my BMI is back in the healthy range.

Today is 44+25 ish. Damn the one glass I had on Day 45!