Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

What's the name of the app you guys are using?

@WaitingforToto the one I'm using is called 'try dry'

Me too Waiting.

Boots, isn't it? I have been blaming my failure to lose weight on so many things! Kids (DS is now 9, ahem); peri-menopause; lack of time (still found time to waste on a hangover!); stress (despite having my dream job).

Turns out - surprise! - it was the wine all along!

Me.
Day 4.
It is bloody hard.
It has taken me years to get to this point, but I'm there and committed.
I'm using an app called EasyQuitDrinking.
Im liking how it shows me how much money I have saved, and the.hours my life is regaining with every drink denied.
I have read The Sober Diaries. Pretty much my own story magnified back at me, and am now reading The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. Not sure of that one yet.
I'm also keeping a diary.
I have been off social media, but am planning on telling my social media tribe and friends as soon as I am back on later today. Banned from facebook for the fourth time for being a drunken dickhead and shooting my mouth off at someone.
This has been part of my wake up call. My business depends on social media and I cannot afford the next ban which will be 30 days.
That and stealing sly swigs from my husband's brandy, then adding water to it to top it back up. Then having more and doing the same, then buying him more to make up for it, then doing it all again.
Not big, not clever and I am deeply ashamed.
So, I have told him and my older two children in order to have accountability.
So far, not sleeping, have had a bit of palpitations, but no shakes or DTs. I realise that at only 4 days that still might happen.
I was drinking around 10 bottles of wine a week, plus occasional spirits.
I have an entire bottle of gin, unopened. I am aiming to keep it that way, though I realise it us temptation that I should probably get rid of. I hate waste though, and it seems a bit of a back handed gift to someone, ie "I realise alcohol is evil, and am now enlightened, but you're not, so here you have it..."
Overthinking it. I know, but I guess my wine witch on my shoulder is telling me to hang onto it incase...

Anyway. That's me. 50, been drinking at least a bottle of wine daily for the last 14 years, barring pregnancy and when my kids were babies. Periods of abstinence and moderation that quickly escalated.
I cannot do moderation. So here I am.

Hello.

@lackadaisy welcome. Weve all done things we are ashamed off. I had the most awful experience during the christmas period due to alcohol, I never want to feel that way again, that was my rock bottom and so I'm day 4 also. I would just chuck the Gin out if I were you, you may find it a relief to get rid of it & be done toying with who to give it to.

Hi Lacka - your drinking history is similar to mine - I was a 50 - 80+ units a week drinker.
Re DT's the first 72hrs is key with withdrawals, I had fairly heavy withdrawals - sweating, headaches, unable to focus, utterly restless, insomnia and I'm sure my blood pressure was through the roof but no visual or audiable hallucinations or shakes. Just felt like utter shit for 4 or 5 days.
You are over the worst bit of withdrawal.

Well done on achieving 4 days clean.

Ps get rid of that back up gin! You have this!

Sounds like you're doing all the right things LackaDAISYcal, well done. This is the tipping point of the day for me, I can get to about 3pm and be really positive about not drinking, excited almost, then 3pm comes and I start an internal argument with myself about how it's really not that bad to have a drink/but I don't want to/but there's really nothing wrong with opening a bottle, it's not a crime...I'm exhausted with it. If I can get to 8pm the craving subsides and I can enjoy the rest of the evening. But I'm going to struggle to get to 8pm 😰

Thank you lovely people.
DH has whisked it away to places unknown (our house is a hoarder's wet dream, so no chance of finding it!) and I will give it to my friend later this month.
My sleep has been awful. Last night awake half the night, and thinking about wine every waking minute.
I slept for most of the morning and have woken up over wmotional, weepy and feing pathetic.
Mainlining chocolate.
Live Clare Pooley's wine witch analogy.
My inner demon is more of a wine whore though. She will.tart herself out for a drop of anything.
Another of my grounding moments was actually buying a bottle of bourbon for my 17 year old for Christmas, 10 days after his first drinking experience where he came home pissed and threw up everywhere. DH was like 🙄. I thought I was being nice, but really, was I just looking for a drinking buddy? DH rarely drinks, which is why me stealing his brandy was such a vile thing to do.
DS1 was similarly perplexed. He drank two nips of it at New Year and left it at his friends.
Tonight will be the hardest yet. I have usually started by this time on a Saturday. I have been having palpitations on and off since I got up too.
Herbal tea is my friend though.
Chai tea with a sugar cube in is lovely.

Oh and I'm also staying away from AF anything. Thoygh for those interested, Sainsbury's have an AF spirit that is about £15. Still a lot of money for essentially an expensive cordial. I'll stick to Belvoir and have money to plough into my.business.
I am a recently set up silversmith, just starting the transition from hobby to business.

Hope everyone's Saturday is going well.
DH is distracting me with "things to keep me busy" so I need to go engage in the family board game evening (hard as I usually have a drink in hand during stuff like this) but he means well.

Stay strong lovelies xxx

I'm in, after a disaster on New Year's Day that is it for me. I've tried moderating so many times and it doesn't stick. I turned up to work still drunk on Thursday which was the turning point for me.
I couldn't believe quite how much drink I had in the house when I cleared it out with the support of a colleague yesterday.

Hi everyone. So nice to hear of all your productive days I’m on Day 6, sleeping so well and feeling a million times better. Went for a run yesterday for the first time in months.
I’m drinking heaps more water too - happy side effect but I think that’s one of the reasons I am feeling so much better. So far it has seemed easy, but I am not under any illusions that it will stay that way - DH is doing Dry January but it’s unlikely he’ll want to make it more permanent, which is what I will be doing. I’ve had enough of thinking about it- I just want to make the decision once. No more alcohol.

Hi notdoing, welcome and well done for binning your booze!

My tip for all is just be gentle with yourselves - if you need to sleep, go to bed and sleep. If you need a cry, have a cry!

Tonight is a toughy for me - DP is working all night so I need to occupy myself. I've been watching intervention programmes today - some are jawdroppingly scary but the message is apparent throughout - sober is the ONLY way forward.

Sending strength to all.

I think my problem is that because I don't drink too much very often (and then only with mildly embarrassing results rather than disastrous ones), I have less impetus to stop entirely. But it is bad for my physical and mental health even in relatively small amounts. The article shared above was quite an eye-opener about the health risks of even moderate intake.

Had a big wobble (my first one) about 5. Very nearly poured a drink. But made a lovely chilli, whilst that was bubbling away we went on a dog walk. Feeling stronger now. Not strong but stronger 😁 Saturday night is my usual big drinking night (often along with the other 6 nights 🙈)

Hope everyone else is ok this eve?

Well done for resisting temptation @Saltypotato I've had a few wobbles too but just boiled the kettle for tea instead, feeling good now but so tired! Will be having some rhubarb & ginger fancy juice later when kids are in bed, looking forward to waking up fresh tomorrow (the first sunday in a long long time)

I'm so bored I've gone to bed!

Salty getting out of the house and walking is a brilliant idea. Having a dog is a definite asset!

Teachers I'm on my second 500 piece jigsaw this week!

Hi - I'm late to this thread but I'd love to join! I've been a problematic drinker for 30 years, since being a teenager. Last spring I had some liver blood tests at the GPs - even though I had zero symptoms. The GP rang me up at 11pm that night to say the results were very high. I gave up drinking there and then and haven't looked back. I'm loving the alcohol free me, not stressing and bargaining with myself. No regrets or making crap decisions after a bottle of wine or more. No wondering if I can get to meetings/gym classes early in the morning, due to hangovers. I used to plan my work diary so that tricky meetings would be later in the day so that I'd feel up to it. It's been the best thing I've done for my physical and mental health - ever!

Lacka just wanted to say hello and say you're amongst friends here.

I'm on Day 8 AF, a miracle for me, and I know that if it weren't for a cold (which seems to be lasting for a billion years), I'd be climbing the walls.

You really can do this. Keep posting, and get the gin hidden.

@Teddytwoears well done to you, you must be so proud to heading towards the one year mark in spring. Well done

@LackaDAISYcal Blank that wine whore 😁 Get yourself some nice hot or cold non alcoholic drinks, snacks and come join our party. Keep those reasons for staying af in mind and repeat them as often as you can.
We are all going to come out of the other side. Prouder, stronger, healthier, happier and wealthier ♥️

I'm still going .. and bloody determined! H has cracked open the wine again this evening despite saying he was going to stay off it tonight. His choice we've had words and I won't let him break me. I keep telling myself in my head why I'm doing this.

Hope everyone is having a good AF night xx

You are all doing great.

Be prepared for the ‘I’ll have a drink to celebrate not drinking’ thoughts that may come soon. I had a box of mini magnums in the freezer for those moments (top tip from my AA pals).

Night 2 succeeded as the shops have now shut i I have not been out to replace any of the drink I removed from the house yesterday. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a bit more motivated as today I've just lazed around the same as I would have on a usual Saturday with a hangover.

God only day 3 and I know what you mean. I’ve been to two pubs today and the cinema- still Dry. Interesting starting to get ideas for my triggers - the pub nots too bad

Hi all, everyone's doing so well!

We had a BBQ last night and OH opened a nice bottle of red that I love. It was tough but watching him get a bit silly and slurry was incentive for me to know I'm doing the right thing.

I'm sleeping well but still waking up feeling like I could do with another 8 hours. Hopefully this improves soon.

A big trigger for me is cooking which is when I pour my first glass. I have not yet cooked a proper meal since stopping drinking and that's going to be a BIG hurdle to get over. OH is working today so I'm gong to have to bite the bullet this evening. Will have my fizzy water on hand and have the kids come and help me to keep me accountable.

I'm also using the Try Dry app - it suits my personality type to have something that I can add to each day and build up a "score".

I am staying away from AF drinks as well as I think replacing the wine with something similar will just reinforce the habit for me and make it easier to slip back into drinking once January is over. I had a few moments yesterday of thinking sadly about never having wine again - I keep telling myself "one day at a time" and weirdly that does help.

I have put on a few kg since stopping but that may be a bit of comfort eating. Will tackle that once I feel better able to cope with the lure of wine.

Keep going!

BTW I'm in Oz so on day five today (Sunday)